Neglecting to confess?

[normdplume]

I’m wondering how much responsibility a penitent has in making a full confession of grave sins. Say the penitent decides not to confess all grave sins (e.g. due to embarrassment or lack of time to go to confession). I assume that knowingly withholding grave sins during confession is probably not a valid confession. What if, in the interim, the penitent forgets about those sins? Is he in a permanent state of mortal sin?

 

[Zach]

We can all be embarrassed but there’s no need to be. The Priest has heard it all. To guard against the forgetting scenario go as soon as possible when in grave sin and hold nothing back. You assumed right. Holding back mortal sin makes the Confession invalid.

 

[GladTidings]

To me, it sounds like the penitent wants to try to skip confessing certain sins. Kind of like Adam and Eve who were trying to hide from God.
The best answer is this: be bold, be brave, be gone. Just get it done with and move on. Praise God they have been absolved.
We might have to go to confession again for the same sin, but I have found that the more I go, the less the sin has control over me and the less tempted I am and the less likely I will fall into that sin anywhere near as often.
From what I understand, if a sin is truly forgotten, it is forgotten. If the person remembers it they need to confess it.

 

[CRV]

Holding back mortal sin makes the Confession invalid.

And is another mortal sin - of a sacrilegous confession. Baltimore Catechism on confession Q.795
" Is it a grievous offense willfully to conceal a mortal sin in Confession?

A. It is a grievous offense willfully to conceal a mortal sin in Confession, because we thereby tell a lie to the Holy Ghost, and make our Confession worthless.

 

[John10]

You should overcome all difficulties and confess all mortal sin, venial sins and sins of omission to the best of your ability.

The only one who wants us to avoid confession is Satan.

If you accidentally forgot to tell a sin during confession, do not worry, however you must remember to say it in the next confession. Never willfully retain or omit any sin.

As our Lord told Sor Faustina:

Others distrust My goodness and have no desire to experience that sweet intimacy in their own hearts, but go in search of Me, off in the distance, and do not find Me. This distrust of My goodness hurts Me very much. If My death has not convinced them of My love, what will? Often a soul wounds Me mortally, and then no one can comfort Me. They use My graces to offend Me ( Diary, 580).

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I don’t want to scare you, but there are lots of homilies and saint stories about people who deliberately withheld grave sins, usually out of embarrassment, and went to Hell. Having said that, for all I know I might have done exactly what you said as I was away from confession for 18 years, and there were likely sins I had withheld in the confessions I was making in the few years before I just quit going. When I returned, I fully intended to confess everything and I tried very hard to remember and confess all my past grave sins over about 3 or 4 confessions (because old sins I either forgot or wasn’t sure at first were sins but realized later they were, kept popping into my head), I may well have forgotten something beyond the point of no return. I would hope God takes my intent to fully confess into consideration so that my absolution wiped the forgotten sins away.

It is really better to confess frequently and not hold ANYTHING back as you don’t know when or if you’ll have another chance to confess. Servant of God Antoni Gaudi was run over by a street car on his way to confession.

 

[po18guy]

Bad idea. If done intentionlly, it negates the prior confession as well as adding a new sin.

Talk to Father.

 

[InThePew]

There’s a world of difference between withholding a sin out of fear or embarrassment and withholding one out of deliberate defiance towards God - the latter is a fre and deliberate choice, the former less so. In a similar way, forgetting something is fine and the sin is absolved, although it helps to bring it up the next time - remember the sacrament exists to help us n0t the other way around.

When it comes to confessing sexual or other embarrassing matters, a lot of people tend to use euphemisms and that’s fine. You’re definitely not the first and the priest will work out for himself what you’re referring to - if he needs you to tell him more, he’ll ask.