Never dated in my High school career

[mymamamary]

I never dated in school either. At the time I didn’t know why, but a few years later I remember looking at a crowd of teen boys and thinking, “Oh, that’s why I never dated in high school.” Now I see that on some level, even back then, I recognized that the only satisfying relationship for me would be one that at least had the potential to end in Marriage, and high school boys weren’t marriage material. Perhaps you feel the same way. Perhaps you want a mature relationship and not a high school relationship.

I want a Priestly-Church Relationship

 

[ccmnxc]

I’m currently a sophomore, and what you said about yourself describes me perfectly. Haven’t gotten many comment about it though.

 

[CallMeCatholic]

Don’t be fooled by what society tells you is normal or “correct”. The dating culture we live in today is far from the image of love that our heart ultimately desires. While Jersey Shore and the “Real World” may have us look to inebriated hook ups & romances that develop out of physical regards, what they don’t capture is the beauty that comes from,

A.) A loving, true relationship
B.) The gifts and graces that result from being single

During my High School years, I dated 3 young women, and God Bless them all, they were wonderful people, but none of them knew how to maintain a relationship with me, let alone with God. Granted in High School, God wasn’t one of the most popular words in my vocabulary. I reflect on these relationships and recognize exactly where things turned south, why they went south, and how God has in turn helped me grow from these experiences.

I wouldn’t necessarily say that dating in High School is childish, but instead I’d say that it takes a strong amount of respect, maturity, and spirituality to even begin to understand the fundamentals behind a true Christocentric relationship, which is what I assume you are striving to find.

Even into College (I’m currently a Sophomore), I’ve remained single by choice, which has provided more spiritual growth than I can even fathom. Included in that spirituality has been a strong rooted belief that God will bring my Bride into my life when He wills it, and especially once I’ve attained, or am able to attain the virtues necessary to be a good father and husband someday. Until then, I recognize that God, through the Holy Spirit, has granted me the gift of patience to wait for that day to come.

May God Bless you in your journey & keep in mind the words of my good friend Saint Francis of Assisi:

“Lord, grant that I might not so much seek to be loved as to love.”

Pax,

-CMC

 

[hwriggles4]

CallMeCatholic and MyMamaMary Et. Al:

I was a shy kid growing up. I had mostly male-dominated interests like cars, model building, science, Scouts, responsibilities at home, a heavy academic schedule, and a part-time job, so I didn’t have much time to “date” anyway. My mother thought I was a little “strange” in part because my best friend who lived across the street had a girlfriend his junior and senior year of high school.

The only actual “date” that I went on in high school was the senior prom (our school didn’t have a junior prom). I went with a friend of mine whom I had known for a few years from my Catholic youth group. She went to a different high school than I did (we both attended public schools and we were both seniors), but she and I were friends and she knew some of my friends at my high school too.

We had a good time, and we stayed away from the “after parties”. Quite a few of our mutual friends weren’t interested in the “after parties” either.

However,I have to admit that the primary reasons I wanted to go to the prom were selfish reasons. They were:

1. Friends were going
2. The “cool kids” were going
3. I didn’t want to finish high school without having a “date”
4. I didn’t want to be seen as a “geek” for not going (there were people at my high school that were surprised that I came with a date)
5. I have younger brothers so I felt obligated to go on a “date” in high school

Today though (I know some of you are seniors in high school - I was in high school in the mid-1980’s) the prom is no longer just going to a dance in the high school gym, although ours was in a hotel ballroom. I can’t believe the expense people pay these days (I spent about $100, and in those days, that was two weeks pay - my date wore a pretty red dress that she had worn to a previous prom), and some parents today just let their kids do whatever on prom night. There were a few parents in my day like that, but I think now it has gotten worse.

Anyway, should you high school kids decide to go to the prom, I think it would be best that you go in a “mixed” group of friends, like a group of six or eight (four guys, four girls or three guys, three girls). Your group can dress up, take photos, carpool, go out to dinner, dance, socialize, and have a good time. This encourages going out with friends and getting to know each other. It also helps shy people get a little more comfortable getting to know the opposite sex the old fashioned way. Relationships take time to build, and it’s good to develop some kind of a friendship first. Love is based on respect, caring, and trust.

Due to the expense and the atmosphere of the prom these days, I’ve even heard of some people having “alternate prom parties”. Maybe your youth group can organize one of these the same night as the prom instead in a parish hall, at a restaurant, or a friend’s house with parents present. To keep the expense down, the guys could wear suits and ties and the girls could just wear dresses and heels.

Honestly, should you high school kids decide to skip the prom, I don’t think you will be missing much. One girl I was going to ask to my prom (I knew her from our youth group too, and we attended the same school) thought the prom was “stupid” and she and her girlfriends skipped it altogether.

Although one of my younger brothers went, two of my brothers skipped theirs, and it didn’t bother them very much.

I hope this helps a little, and don’t feel like you are alone.