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TheLittleLady
Guest
Well, there were at the two State Conventions that I attended. The leaders of the local council speak to me about this every year. Guess we have a unique state!
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Gorgias
Guest
I took it to mean “maybe they’re not calling because something went wrong in the registration process.” That’s one reasonable approach and line of inquiry, don’t you think?DeniseNY:
I agree. Giving someone the third degree as to whether their transfer process was done right is not likely to make them feel more welcome/ active/ accepted anywhere.
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DeniseNY
Guest
Not really, since the OP mentioned they reached out to his wife, but not to him.
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Gorgias
Guest
The question, then, is who exactly reached out to his wife? Was it the ladies’ group from the parish? Or, was it the welcoming ministry of the parish? Two totally different vibes, there…
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TheOldColonel
Guest
You’re experience the usual disorganization found on many parish staffs. Someone in the office is failing to follow through on getting your information to the organizations and ministries you wish to join.
Cut through the chaos by finding out who is in charge of those organizations and ministries and call those people directly.
Speak to the pastor if necessary. It’s his job to make sure communication takes place. So, he needs to know of the problem.
Cut through the chaos by finding out who is in charge of those organizations and ministries and call those people directly.
Speak to the pastor if necessary. It’s his job to make sure communication takes place. So, he needs to know of the problem.
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DeniseNY
Guest
The OP addressed that in the first post:
Last week my wife received two welcome to the parish letters, asking where she would like to serve and which groups she might be interested in. She also received a personal welcome phone call. Not welcoming us as a couple, but welcoming her only.and I received none. I am the one registered as head of household and nothing.
Last week my wife received two welcome to the parish letters, asking where she would like to serve and which groups she might be interested in. She also received a personal welcome phone call. Not welcoming us as a couple, but welcoming her only.and I received none. I am the one registered as head of household and nothing.
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Brettbat
Guest
Yes, that is what I have been doing. Multiple phone calls, messages left, none returned. Really can’t figure it.
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pensmama87
Guest
I will say first that this is definitely not good treatment, and I hate being on the receiving end of it and I try very hard not to do it to anybody else.
That said - have you spoken to anybody in person yet? Attended a meeting? Struck up a conversation after Mass with someone you regularly sit by? Has your wife inquired with anyone who’s reached out to her?
It seems to be a feature of today’s society that almost everybody is notoriously flaky. I try to set up appointments for home improvement projects and contractors don’t call me back. I’m offering people money and apparently…they don’t want it. Maybe they have so much business they don’t need me. But I doubt it.
That said - have you spoken to anybody in person yet? Attended a meeting? Struck up a conversation after Mass with someone you regularly sit by? Has your wife inquired with anyone who’s reached out to her?
It seems to be a feature of today’s society that almost everybody is notoriously flaky. I try to set up appointments for home improvement projects and contractors don’t call me back. I’m offering people money and apparently…they don’t want it. Maybe they have so much business they don’t need me. But I doubt it.
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Brendan_64
Guest
I would think that is the most likely reason. We can be a bit old-fashioned in our preferred means of communication. Also, some people are not naturally good at checking and replying promptly (or at all) to emails.
Perhaps seek out the people involved, face to face, and introduce yourself to them after Mass some time expressing your interest.
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runningdude
Guest
It sounds like these ministries are not particularly active, and that the email addresses are out-of-date or no longer checked.
Parish registration is unrelated to sui juris church affiliation. As long as the couple otherwise fulfill the obligations in the eastern tradition, they may attend any Catholic mass.
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Gorgias
Guest
Actually, he didn’t address who sent the letter and who called.
(However, I see that he’s saying that it really was the parish offices, which means that something weird is going on.)
It’s baffling. It’s worth going to the parish offices and clearing up, I think.
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Gorgias
Guest
It’s considered really bad form for a Latin parish to register an Eastern Catholic (unless, as the OP mentioned, they went through the steps of getting the thumbs-up, due to lack of an Eastern parish in the area). Generally speaking, it would be considered “sheep stealing.”
So, while any Catholic can attend any Catholic Mass, it would be less than honorable to ‘steal’ a person from the parish of the rite in which he belongs.
In other words, given what the OP has told us, this isn’t what’s in play here (unless someone at the parish offices are greatly mistaken, and think it is what’s going on (which would be a shame)).
Tis_Bearself
Patron
Yes, I’ve experienced this too. I’ve even had contractors come out to the house and look at everything and say they would give me a quote, then never call back, and when I contact them repeatedly, instead of saying, “sorry, we cannot do the work after all” they keep saying oh, they’ll get it to me, and never do. It is not uncommon to have to call 3 contractors to find one that will actually be responsive and either quote and do the job, or let you know that they can’t take it on for some reason.
I have also had “flaky” behavior on at least 2 separate occasions in the past when I tried to get more involved in some parish volunteer activity. One activity was pitched as a once a month/ once every 2 weeks commitment, then I was told they only needed help once every 3 months or something. In a couple other cases, I was actually involved and assisting and then suddenly got “bumped” because someone else decided they wanted to do whatever it was I was doing, apparently…there was no explanation, no feedback about me not doing something right, no problem to my knowledge, just some other person who was more established wanted to do whatever it was, so naturally, feeling quite uncomfortable, I removed myself from the activity.
Whatever happens with this, try not to take it personally - if one activity doesn’t work out, just move to another and don’t let it affect your spiritual life or sense of self worth.
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Melodeonist
Guest
This seems very strange to me. I’ve never been to a parish that didn’t at least have any people who introduced me to the people there. Of course, I’m a very extroverted person and I often just introduce myself by myself. Are you and your wife very quiet? If so, don’t be bashful! Get out there and introduce yourselves to the parishioners! I’m sure they’ll love you guys and invite you to the various ministries! 
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TC3033
Guest
I was kind of wondering if something like this isn’t the issue. OP, are you doubly sure that you’re registered as a Catholic?
The whole situation sounds like me and my wife. My wife registered “us”, but since I’m not Catholic I’m not viewed as a member. Samething, I wasn’t welcomed to the parish, all communication goes to her (even though I’m HOH, or I may have been the one who made contact and asked I be contacted with the reply), all mail goes to her, I don’t get invited to stuff, etc…
Honestly, if I were you I’d verify that I’m indeed registered properly.
The whole situation sounds like me and my wife. My wife registered “us”, but since I’m not Catholic I’m not viewed as a member. Samething, I wasn’t welcomed to the parish, all communication goes to her (even though I’m HOH, or I may have been the one who made contact and asked I be contacted with the reply), all mail goes to her, I don’t get invited to stuff, etc…
Honestly, if I were you I’d verify that I’m indeed registered properly.
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TheLittleLady
Guest
This is why registration and introduction to various ministry/opportunity leaders should be done during the RCIA prep classes
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Brettbat
Guest
Yes, a few weeks back, I had checked with our parish office, and double checked with the diocese. Both of us are indeed 100%, completely registered as Roman Catholics.
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Gorgias
Guest
I’d take it up with your pastor personally, then.
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TheOldColonel
Guest
I really don’t think it’s personal. I suspect there is a series leadership problem in the parish. Some parishes are quite dysfunctional. Sounds like it’s time for a meeting with your pastor so you can get to the bottom of this.
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Xanthippe_Voorhees
Guest
So my husband and I switched parishes last year. I submitted the registration form. When the parish emailed to welcome they used my email and addressed me, even though I included both. Maybe because mine was the first listed? Who knows. When I was emailing for the sacraments for my little ones the deacon chose to deal with me. Since I was the first one to respond the parish simply contacted me for everything. Not a slight against my husband.TC3033:
Yes, a few weeks back, I had checked with our parish office, and double checked with the diocese. Both of us are indeed 100%, completely registered as Roman Catholics.
You seem a bit caught up in “head of household”. Is there any chance that they asked your wife what she needed–presuming she spoke for the family–and she said she was all good?
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