New Catholic being shut out in my parish

  • Thread starter Thread starter Brettbat
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
All parishes are different. I belong to and am on staff at a large parish. We have someone on staff whose job it is to send out welcome packets. Any idea how big your parish is as far as number of families and how big the staff is? Our Knights council is very active. During Lent they host fish fries every Friday night and on 1st Sundays they host pancake breakfasts. Perhaps your council is very small, understaffed and close to going away.
 
I’m not caught up on HOH at all. Only reason I mentioned it was in comparison to the similarites of the OP.

No, I don’t think they asked my wife. The instances I’m thinking of is when we (she would ask me) to get some sort of information from the church, and rather than replying to me they would send a completely different message (email) to her. We noticed it when in passing one night that the church never got back to me. She said that they did, we grabbed her phone and noticed that they weren’t replying to me, just creating new “replies” to her. I found that strange.
 
TC3033 said:
I’m not caught up on HOH at all. Only reason I mentioned it was in comparison to the similarites of the OP.

No, I don’t think they asked my wife. The instances I’m thinking of is when we (she would ask me) to get some sort of information from the church, and rather than replying to me they would send a completely different message (email) to her. We noticed it when in passing one night that the church never got back to me. She said that they did, we grabbed her phone and noticed that they weren’t replying to me, just creating new “replies” to her. I found that strange.
Click to expand...
Honestly, dealing with people who are older, it is not strange in the least.

Sounds like technical incompetence not willfully leaving you out. Could also be two people doing things.

Secretary Mary- Secretary Sally, the Haverson’s want to know when they need to register to get on the bake sale committee

Sally- Ok I’ll let Jill know.

No intention to block you out, just seeing the two of you as a couple. When replying the email populates with your wife’s. How do I know this? Because that sort of thing is exactly how it was done with the old secretaries at my former parish. They’d holler back and forth all day “helping” each other depending on who handled what. It was a pain in the behind getting anything done. It took 8-12 calls to even begin to get set up for the classes for my eldest’s baptism. And this is after having been a parishioner for years and knowing them well.

You need to actually get face to face with people. That would clarify a good deal.
 
DeniseNY said:
I’m curious why this is of interest when the the topic is abot becoming active, and feeling accepted, in their new parish?
Click to expand...
If the priest that received them into the Catholic church has them ascribed to the Russian Catholic church then he may not know how to deal with them, since there is a different sacramental discipline.
 
Brettbat said:
40.png
TC3033:
was kind of wondering if something like this isn’t the issue. OP, are you doubly sure that you’re registered as a Catholic?
Click to expand...
Yes, a few weeks back, I had checked with our parish office, and double checked with the diocese. Both of us are indeed 100%, completely registered as Roman Catholics.
Click to expand...
I just saw your thread. I would like to affirm what many posters have said here - please do not take it personally.

Welcome to the Catholic world!

And don’t do business online with Catholic parish. Yeah.

It really depends on who is running the movement that you want to join. Better way to go about it, is to find the person concerned. Speak directly to him.

If anything, it only goes to show you how much you are needed in the parish so that your experience can be avoided.

Welcome home.

God bless.
 
Reuben_J said:
And don’t do business online with a Catholic parish. Yeah.
Click to expand...
THIS!

It seems a good deal of your angst is because you are trying to do things online and over the phone. You are making quite a few assumptions, most of which can be easily explained by the technical incompetence of the older people who generally run Catholic Churches.
 
While there are many parishes with less technical savvy, not all parishes. Some of us staffers are trying to drag the parishioners kicking and screaming into the 21st century!
 
Meh…maybe, but I really doubt it.

I know they know how to run email, it just seems strange to not hit reply (I know they know how to) and rather create a whole new email thread.

I don’t want to hijack the OPs thread, I was just throwing out my .02. NC’s receive the same “welcome” where my wife goes, so that’s why I asked if they were indeed registered correctly.
 
It is not that they do not know how to operate simple online activities but rather they do not update or use it. Some people do not open their e-mail or just do not see the importance of replying or whatever. The fact is the OP was not replied to.

So perhaps phone or online method do not work with some people, or perhaps there was miscommunication, not that the OP is rejected. This is where personal contact with whoever the person concerned may be necessary.
 
I don’t disagree. I know the individuals where my wife and kids go are tech savvy “enough” and utilize email daily.

I just mentioned why I don’t get replies, welcomed, or invites, so mentioned OP should double check his registration status, which he did. From there I have no idea why he didn’t get a welcome and no one answers.
 
TC3033 said:
I know they know how to run email, it just seems strange to not hit reply (I know they know how to) and rather create a whole new email thread.
Click to expand...
I’ll hope this isn’t the case, but it might be that both you and the OP have unwittingly stumbled into power plays within the parish that you have no part of and are just victims of. This does happen in our parish.

Person 1 (who is supposed to be helping with a ministry): Hey, Mr A emailed me to ask about X. I think we should talk to the team and then get back to him once we’ve decided as a team how to proceed.

Person 2 (who has been in the ministry for years and thinks they control it) - totally ignores Person 1, has Mrs A’s email address and so runs off to deal with it by themselves as they see fit.

I’ve had this sort of thing happen, and gotten very irate as I think it is incredibly unprofessional, but unfortunately, changing the culture takes time.
 
Never attribute to malice what can easily be explained by incompetence.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top