Also, “know thyself”. I cannot lose weight through dieting. It’s not effective for me, and I end up very tired because I really do need a lot of calories for someone my size, so I quit being as active . . . and gain weight. But 30 minutes of exercise a day keeps me at a very healthy weight, regardless of diet! Other people truly cannot lose weight without restricting calories. So think about what works for YOU - everyone is different.
Have you ever tried to lose weight before? When you were at your healthiest weight, what were you doing - what was your lifestyle, and what changed? It sounds like you already know some of the answers.
If you are busy and struggling to fit in exercise, maybe you can combine it with Daddy time? Babies love to go for walks, and they can be great “weights” while doing situps or curls - choose your exercise with your baby based on whether the baby can hold its head, sit up, etc., since you don’t want to strain the baby. Waltz with your child tucked into your arms. See if your baby is old enough to sit in a jogging stroller, too - I know one dad who took up jogging to lose weight, and it dropped off. Also, try and “think active”. Does your wife need a glass of water? Tell her to sit and jog to the kitchen to pick it up for her. Take the stairs at work. Do everything the hard way, just to see if you can.
See if you can find some other guys to work out with (or gals . . . the jogger I mentioned earlier found a group of mostly moms - his wife’s friends - who are thrilled to have him along for their early morning “it’s still dark out” jogging group). Making exercise social means it’s harder to just drop out silently . . . someone’s going to wonder where you were
I have less ideas on dieting, other than, “If it’s in the house, you’re gonna eat it.” Don’t bring unhealthy snack foods into the house. Do buy lots of fresh produce to eat, plus nuts and other healthy snacks. I find planning for healthy snacks is a big help, since I love to snack and it is actually a very healthy habit - as long as the snacks stay healthy. People who snack do eat more calories on average, but they also burn them more easily and overall end up winning in general.
I like to buy snacks in all 5 food groups, since that gives me a range of choices to fill specific cravings. If I want ice cream, maybe it’s calcium I want - so yogurt might be better. If I want candy, it’s probably sugar - so I grab fruit instead. Hamburger? Could be protein (nuts) or iron (spinach leaves w/ balsamic vinegar - vitamin C helps asorb iron - and olive oil) and maybe fat (either of the earlier two suggestions has healthy fats). Your late-night pizza might be an attempt to cram in fat and calories at the end of a day where you’ve been too busy to eat, but calories right before bed are the hardest to lose - so set aside some time in the mid-afternoon to eat a high-protein, high-healthy-fat snack so you don’t feel like you desperately need calories before bed (fat and protein fill calorie cravings for longer and keep blood sugar more even than sugars do - use sugars for a quick pick-me-up and then follow w/ protein so you don’t crash again as soon as all the sugars get burned)
) and start walking, either alone or with your spouse. Start arranging your life as a father to thrive, not just survive.
I don’t think we should live on those foods. But it can be a smart way to get rid of a craving in a limited way.