New here, question about gays

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Hi everyone, my name is Alicia, and I am a former Jew. As a Jew, I felt pulled towards the Catholic faith, and as a result, I left the temple years ago. Other than a lot of reading and internet research, I have done nothing about that “pull”, but I really want to.

Here is my problem. I am gay. I am 44, and knew as a young child I was gay, at 21 I married my now ex-husband, and 7 years later we were divorced. I have been with my same-sex partner for 17 years now in a committed monogamous relationship. We are happy, and content. My children, who we raised with the help of their father are 18 and 22. My 22 year old moved back home 6 months ago after being in the hospital for two months after almost dying and ultimately losing his leg. It has been hard around here.

I have looked into conversion, I know several gay friends that have either converted or were born Catholic and they have no problem with it. Most of their friends in church and their priest seem to accept it. Being straight upfront with you all, I have no intention of ending my relationship with my partner. Not an option. I do believe I was born this way, and I have been in therapy several times long-term and it is a part of me, same as my blue eyes.

What I want to know is this, am I able to convert? Does my orientation have to be disclosed? My neighbors, living together, man and woman, converted recently, no one asked them is they were having sex, were sinning, etc. I understand a gay person having sex and a heterosexual having sex outside marriage is an equal sin in the church, but…

Any thoughts? Thank you, and I am happy to meet you all.

Alicia
 
Welcome to the boards!

You would be wise to check out a couple of resources…

First, Courage. www.couragerc.net

The second is the Association of Hebrew Catholics

hebrewcatholic.org/

We are all called to live lives of chastity. During the conversion process, you will have the blessing of Confession for all past sins.

Have you read wha the Catechism says about people with SSA?

Here are a couple of entries, you can search the Catechism here

scborromeo.org/ccc.htm

**2358 **The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.

**2359 **Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.
 
cappedmom said:
Hi everyone, my name is Alicia, and I am a former Jew. As a Jew, I felt pulled towards the Catholic faith, and as a result, I left the temple years ago. Other than a lot of reading and internet research, I have done nothing about that “pull”, but I really want to.

Here is my problem. I am gay. I am 44, and knew as a young child I was gay, at 21 I married my now ex-husband, and 7 years later we were divorced. I have been with my same-sex partner for 17 years now in a committed monogamous relationship. We are happy, and content. My children, who we raised with the help of their father are 18 and 22. My 22 year old moved back home 6 months ago after being in the hospital for two months after almost dying and ultimately losing his leg. It has been hard around here.

I have looked into conversion, I know several gay friends that have either converted or were born Catholic and they have no problem with it. Most of their friends in church and their priest seem to accept it. Being straight upfront with you all, I have no intention of ending my relationship with my partner. Not an option. I do believe I was born this way, and I have been in therapy several times long-term and it is a part of me, same as my blue eyes.

What I want to know is this, am I able to convert? Does my orientation have to be disclosed? My neighbors, living together, man and woman, converted recently, no one asked them is they were having sex, were sinning, etc. I understand a gay person having sex and a heterosexual having sex outside marriage is an equal sin in the church, but…

Any thoughts? Thank you, and I am happy to meet you all.

Alicia
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Dear Alicia.

I am so happy you have found Yeshua, the Prince of Peace:)

As far as I know, the teachings of Christ do not allow sex outside of marriage. Thats a huge cross for those who are somehow disabled so they can’t marry, those who cannot find a spouse and thus has to abstain ( I am single myself and know the pain of worrying, being lonely and longing for love and sexual unity) and those who cannot fall for people of the other gender.
The Bible is pretty clear :confused:

Now to the much cooler part of this post. I hope you enjoy these very powerful testimonies from fulfilled Jews ( Jews who have found their Messiah:) ) Just press any name and listen… You won’t regret it.
salvationisfromthejews.com/audioconverts.html

Peace be with you
 
Hi Alicia. Welcome!

I was reading a daily meditation and it made me think of you and your post:

"We are followers of Jesus, not because we don’t know any better, but because we love Him. Naturally, we don’t want to suffer or be rejected. Nonetheless, our love for Jesus is stronger than our love of self or our fear of pain. We want to be with our Lord, even at the foot of the cross. We prefer to die with Jesus rather than live without Him. We love Him “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.”

Those are such strong words and I haven’t enjoyed being challenged by them:o For years, I struggled with chastity in relationships, a lot of which was due to issues of co-dependency and abuse. I felt very much enslaved yet I knew enough to know that I couldn’t reconcile my lifestyle with my faith. As much as I wanted it to be ok to be sexually active outside of marriage, I knew it wasn’t God’s will for me even though it didn’t stop God’s love for me. Eventually I had to choose. How much was my relationship with God worth to me? How much did I value the Eucharist (I refrained from receiving during these relationships)?

The Church most definitely challenges us to the highest of callings–holiness. Without the grace merited by Christ’s death on the cross, it would be unachievable. Fortunately for us, his grace (and mercy when we fail) are free gifts readily available if only we choose to receive them.

I’m so sorry to hear about your son. I will keep you and your family in prayer. For sure, it is the Holy Spirit that is drawing you to a deeper relationship with Christ.

Peace in Christ,
Teri
 
God often asks us to give up what seems the hardest for us to do. SSA isnt’ a sin, but acting on it is. You cannot take communion if you are living in sin and refusing to give it up. Also, no confession is valid if not all sins are confessed with the attitude of repentence. If you don’t plan on giving it up, don’t confess it. But if you don’t confess it, where dos that leave you?

I am happy that you believe in Jesus. And I will pray for your son. Other than that, I will pray that God give you a heart of repentence.
 
Hi Alicia,

I just wanted to tell you that just because you feel that there is nothing wrong with being gay does not mean it isn’t wrong to be gay.

Man has been battling the lies of the devil since day one in the Garden of Eden and continues to this day.

One of the leading excuses I hear from people refusing to come to God is that sinning is fun and if they repent and come to God, they will have to give up having fun.

Yet, how deceived so many are in this world today. Wanting to believe in untruth and deception instead of the truth of God’s Word.

For be believe in the Word of God is to be truly free from bondage. For each lie or deception a man believes over the Word of God is another chain that binds him.

Let us suppose the devil is a spider and a man is a wasp. The wasp flys around not having any worries or frets to it’s strength from enemies.

Yet, it stumbles into the spider’s web and is ensnared. The spider knows that if it attacks immediately, the wasp will kill it. Instead, it waits for the wasp to tire out and put it’s guard down. At tht moment the spider attacks, throwing a few webs around it’s prey and then he quickly retreats. The spider continues to do this until the wasp is completely trapped and at the spider’s mercy.

The wed is the lies of satan and the more we believe him over God, the more ensnared we become, possibly even to the point of being at his mercy.
 
cappedmom said:
Hi everyone, my name is Alicia, and I am a former Jew. As a Jew, I felt pulled towards the Catholic faith, and as a result, I left the temple years ago. Other than a lot of reading and internet research, I have done nothing about that “pull”, but I really want to.

Here is my problem. I am gay. I am 44, and knew as a young child I was gay, at 21 I married my now ex-husband, and 7 years later we were divorced. I have been with my same-sex partner for 17 years now in a committed monogamous relationship. We are happy, and content. My children, who we raised with the help of their father are 18 and 22. My 22 year old moved back home 6 months ago after being in the hospital for two months after almost dying and ultimately losing his leg. It has been hard around here.

I have looked into conversion, I know several gay friends that have either converted or were born Catholic and they have no problem with it. Most of their friends in church and their priest seem to accept it. Being straight upfront with you all, I have no intention of ending my relationship with my partner. Not an option. I do believe I was born this way, and I have been in therapy several times long-term and it is a part of me, same as my blue eyes.

What I want to know is this, am I able to convert? Does my orientation have to be disclosed? My neighbors, living together, man and woman, converted recently, no one asked them is they were having sex, were sinning, etc. I understand a gay person having sex and a heterosexual having sex outside marriage is an equal sin in the church, but…

Any thoughts? Thank you, and I am happy to meet you all.

Alicia
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Hi Alicia

I’d just like to recommend an excellent book to you. It’s written by an Episcopal priest and is called “Reasonable and Holy” by Tobias S. Haller. You can find a review of it on my blog under book reviews. It discusses in detail the biblical statements that appear to relate to homosexual relationships. I think you might find it quite enlightening.

I am from Iowa where we recently had our only man/woman marriage statute eliminated by an excellent supreme court decision. The titled plaintiffs of that case are members of our parish. Move to Iowa! LOL…

blessings.
 
I suggest you take time studying the Catholic Church’s position on homosexuality. Please don’t be quick to assume the Church is outdated or intolerant for not embracing it. The Church recognizes the inherent dignity of all human persons, because they are made in the image and likeness of God. The Church also acknowledges that, due to the fallen nature of mankind, conditions that go against the natural law (which have not been chosen by the person experiencing them) exist.

These conditions neither diminish the value of the person before God, nor do they diminish their ability to be holy. Every soul created has an equal chance at holiness- and, like a good father, God loves all his children the same- whatever they may be going through.

Still, some things still offend God (sins)- even the ones that some people have temptations to do certain things that they cannot help having. An alcoholic may have a real condition that makes them crave alcohol- but that doesn’t make it ok for them to get drunk. A person with any number of personality disorders may have temptations to lie, steal, get excessively angry, or hurt others- but that doesn’t make those things ok for them. All of us have temptations to sin- we all sin, and we wouldn’t if there were no temptations. Being tempted doesn’t make it ok for us to endulge our temptations.

I encourage you to check out the following resources- perhaps they may be of some help to you: The Courage to be Chaste- by Father Benedict Groeschel, Beyond Gay- by David Morrison, www.couragerc.org, and www.narth.org, Also, I reccommend finding a priest in your area to talk to about this issue- make sure they are in line with the Church’s teachings though.
SpiritMeadow said:
Hi Alicia

I’d just like to recommend an excellent book to you. It’s written by an Episcopal priest and is called “Reasonable and Holy” by Tobias S. Haller. You can find a review of it on my blog under book reviews. It discusses in detail the biblical statements that appear to relate to homosexual relationships. I think you might find it quite enlightening.

I am from Iowa where we recently had our only man/woman marriage statute eliminated by an excellent supreme court decision. The titled plaintiffs of that case are members of our parish. Move to Iowa! LOL…

blessings.
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If you want to privately dissent from the Church’s teachings, it’s your soul- but please, when dealing with others, please present the Church’s teachings- not your own.

I will pray for those titled plaintiffs who caused scandal in their public dissent from the Church’s teachings, and for their pastor and bishop- that they may correct them as needed. I hope, for their sake, they recant their positions.
 
m134e5 said:
If you want to privately dissent from the Church’s teachings, it’s your soul- but please, when dealing with others, please present the Church’s teachings- not your own.

I will pray for those titled plaintiffs who caused scandal in their public dissent from the Church’s teachings, and for their pastor and bishop- that they may correct them as needed. I hope, for their sake, they recant their positions.
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I am not dissenting from my churches teachings at all, in fact I am in line with my church’s teaching. I have no need to present the RCC’s teaching, since I don’t agree with it, and I assume there are plenty of RC’s who are ready and willing to state that the RCC considers homosexuality disordered and claims that all such persons much remain celibate for life, if they cannot bring themselves to marry a person of the opposite sex in order to have sex permissibly in the Roman Catholic Church.

The said plaintiffs have caused no scandal in our church, and their union was blessed in it with approval. They certainly will not be recanting their love and marriage vows. Such would of course now violate your prohibition not to divorce.

I have no quarrel with what the RCC teaches. I disagree of course, and find that a proper reading of the scriptures leaves no doubt that it would not be intended for same sex couples living in committed relationships.

I continue to hope that the RCC one day sees the wisdom of modern biblical exegetics and the deep and painful hurt that is placed on people through no fault of their own by such strindent requirements. No other group of persons is required to give up sex for life just to be in agreement with God. So I rather doubt God means for such a conclusion. You are free to follow you church as I assume yuou will, but others see the issue quite differently.

There is, as you no doubt know, a rather healthy group of Roman Catholics who work on this issue within the church. My prayers are with them, that they can succeed in bringing about a compassionate and honest reappraisal of a much misunderstood area of biblical analysis.
 
SpiritMeadow said:
No other group of persons is required to give up sex for life just to be in agreement with God.
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It is worth pointing out that hundreds of thousands of individuals in canonical Catholic marriages do just that. They may have a spouse who disagrees with church teaching, or they may have a relationship that has soured to intimacy in some way.

And those who have never found the right person to marry also give up sex for life.

And priests and religious give up sex for life, for the sake of the church. They chose their position, yes, but does that make the day-to-day sacrifice easier?

Following Jesus is dying to self. But oh! the grace that we find in that sacrifice!
 
Welcome Alicia!!! 👋 👋

I see a lot of my own particular story in what you have written. I had been in a same sex relationship that lasted nearly 10 years. I too thought that I would never give that up. Then I felt the pull into Christ’s Church.

I came to realize, after much study and even more prayer, that for me, “taking up your cross” required me to give up that type of sexual relationship and live a life of chastity. It was not an easy thing at all, and was easily the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It was Matthew 10:34-39 in action: “Do not think that I have come to bring peace on earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man’s foes will be those of his own household. He who loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and he who loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and he who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for my sake will find it.” [RSV-CE] You can read more about my journey here if you like: forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=180347.

I would urge you to pray. Pray constantly. And talk to a priest - there are many, many good ones, and they will be able to answer your questions, help you sort through the Scriptures and the Catechism, and open doors for you into the beauty and richness of the Church and the Sacraments.

And for what it’s worth, my former partner and I are now wonderful friends … and he has even asked to go to Mass with me this coming Sunday. 👍

You will be in my prayers. Please let me know if I can be of any help.
 
I know what you are going through. Been through it…and came out on the other side. I never thought I could convert because I was a lesbian, but I did.
Long story short, I am now a devout and HAPPY Catholic.
But believe me, I understand, the dilemma.
God’s peace and love be with you forever, no matter what you decide.
 
brittrossiter said:
Welcome Alicia!!! 👋 👋

I see a lot of my own particular story in what you have written. I had been in a same sex relationship that lasted nearly 10 years. I too thought that I would never give that up. Then I felt the pull into Christ’s Church.

.
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God bless you brother! 🙂
 
SpiritMeadow said:
I am not dissenting from my churches teachings at all, in fact I am in line with my church’s teaching. I have no need to present the RCC’s teaching, since I don’t agree with it, and I assume there are plenty of RC’s who are ready and willing to state that the RCC considers homosexuality disordered and claims that all such persons much remain celibate for life, if they cannot bring themselves to marry a person of the opposite sex in order to have sex permissibly in the Roman Catholic Church.

The said plaintiffs have caused no scandal in our church, and their union was blessed in it with approval. They certainly will not be recanting their love and marriage vows. Such would of course now violate your prohibition not to divorce.

I have no quarrel with what the RCC teaches. I disagree of course, and find that a proper reading of the scriptures leaves no doubt that it would not be intended for same sex couples living in committed relationships.

I continue to hope that the RCC one day sees the wisdom of modern biblical exegetics and the deep and painful hurt that is placed on people through no fault of their own by such strindent requirements. No other group of persons is required to give up sex for life just to be in agreement with God. So I rather doubt God means for such a conclusion. You are free to follow you church as I assume yuou will, but others see the issue quite differently.

There is, as you no doubt know, a rather healthy group of Roman Catholics who work on this issue within the church. My prayers are with them, that they can succeed in bringing about a compassionate and honest reappraisal of a much misunderstood area of biblical analysis.
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You do realize, of course, that this is a Catholic forum? Teachings that go against the teaching of the Roman Catholic Church aren’t acceptable, even if your intention is to help someone.
 
SpiritMeadow;5428295]I continue to hope that the RCC one day sees the wisdom of modern biblical exegetics and the deep and painful hurt that is placed on people through no fault of their own by such strindent requirements. No other group of persons is required to give up sex for life just to be in agreement with God. So I rather doubt God means for such a conclusion. You are free to follow you church as I assume yuou will, but others see the issue quite differently.
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You say no other group is required to give up sex for life just to be in agreement with God. THERE IS ONLY ONE OTHER GROUP. A man or woman is either straight or homosexual. Those who stay they are both lie only to themselves.

I am not a catholic, but I give credit to the CC for their stand on homosexuality. God says it is a sin so case closed. Who are you to doubt the Word of God of change it to what you want it to say, ignoring what it says.

Don’t you realize that if you pretend homosexuality is not a sin, and don’t ask to be forgiven for it, that when you die in the flesh, because you have unforgiven sin you will be cast into the fires of hell.

God sent his Son to die so that you have a way of escaping the fires of hell. All God wants us to do is say we are sorry. Yet, if a man or woman defiantly chooses to live in sin, standing on his or her own self righteousness established in our love of sin, then the flames of hell will engulf their souls on the day they leave this earth.

Move from the desires of the flesh, it is how the enemy of God steals the souls of men and women.
 
Christy_Beth said:
You do realize, of course, that this is a Catholic forum? Teachings that go against the teaching of the Roman Catholic Church aren’t acceptable, even if your intention is to help someone.
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Don’t be so hard on her. She is thinking about converting & she is seeing a lot of people around her who don’t practice our faith. That is confusing to Catholics, yet alone non-Catholics.

But to address OP’s original thoughts & concerns, your neighbors may have been living together, been leading unchaste lives and then got married in the Church, but what have they really gained? Nothing. One would have to wonder why they converted in the first place if they never had any intentions of repenting of their sins. Just because they do that, act that way, does not make it right for you to act that way. We live by God’s rules, not mans & those who intentionally break God’s rules will have to answer to Him for it.

The other thought is that maybe they did repent of their sins & maybe you just didn’t know? No one really knows what goes on in private.

Acceptance & tolerance are not always loving acts. While it makes the person “feel good” for being accepted, it is kinder and more loving to show someone God’s truth.

Is it possible to just have a deep friendship with this woman and to forgo sexual acts? True happiness comes from having a deep, abiding relationship with God, not from another person. Even heterosexual couples who are married do not realize this. You can never truly be happy if you don’t have God.

I know you mentioned a lot of psychotherapy regarding your sexual orientation, but have you ever went into deep prayer with God about this? Ask Him–what does He want you to do with your live?

I highly recommend you take this to God in front of the Blessed Sacrament. Try to find a Eucharistic Adoration chapel in your area and go and pray about it. I know it sounds strange but trust me, your life will get better if you do this. Pour out all your struggles to God–this is biblical straight from St. Peter but also give thanks to God for the many blessing in your life. You do not have to be Catholic to pray in front of the Blessed Sacrament–but there is obviously something deep within you that yearns to be Catholic.
 
Hello and welcome …

I would like to say First off You Are brave to Voice your Opion and Share your Story With everyone. So I appreciate it and you for doing so …

People May Sight The words In the Bible They May even Give you the Text to the Catachesism. Some one said here on the forums that there relation Ship with the catholic church is about 98% and the other 2% they would deal with God themselves.

I say Absolutley Right on… no One is 100 percent

There are many People who claim to live a straight <> life and preach alot about how to be a Great catholic and a follower of Christ and teachings Of the Churuch, I am Not with out Sin i know I have issue with Many things many would dissaprove with, might even shun because they are to wrapped up in others buisness. People I refer to as the Kettlers << pot calling the Kettle black >>. I know My sins and i try to overcome them I am truley sorry for them one day i will deal with them but for now i am fine were i am. Not everyones story is the same but we all deal with sin in our lives and relationship with god.

Now!

I have been in the Community for a Long time << the Gay Community >> Mostly supporting Hiv an Aids Awareness.

I have grown up surrounded by the warm embrace of the Commuinity. My Uncle who is Gay, My X girlfriend who i was with for a long time felt that her love for both men and woman was strong enough to live her life the way she wanted, her Dad is Gay her Cousin on her dad’s Side is gay, I dont think it is something you choose, I do however believe that you can make a Consiouse decscion Not to act. its called will.

what you do in your in your own life and how you TRY to Live to the Teachings Of the Church is your buisness.

I am No Authority On Moral Theology or apologetics, Dont let others determin how you should worship or find your place with God, your Personal relationship with God. No One elses.

I asked My X one time and we never Spoke of it Again, You know What the Bible Says On Homosexuality and you know what the Catholic Church teachinngs are. Only to make sure she was infomred not because i was looking for a fight, She Said i do and i know. From that Point on we have continued to be friends I have known her most of my life since the 4th grade.

She Has been Married to her partner for sometime now and have a beautiful 3 year old daughter. << gasp >> an my boys are about her Age and they Play together !

Dont be Discouraged By some of the hard remarks. Many people Strugle with many many Sins from Porn, infedelity, rascism, discrmination, drug abuse, masterbation, verbal caca. we are human.

Now i am Rambling and i think i lost my point long time ago …
 
Hi. Thought you might need prayer support or education about same-sex attraction.

Visit
sorrowfulhearts.com

for answers or help. It’s a great guide and they will pray for you daily.
 
Dear Alicia,

The important thing to understand is that everyone here and in the world are guilty of sin and in need of forgiveness.

I just want you to know that there is a love that is so great, words cannot describe. God loves you and all those who have Jesus Christ in their hearts love you.

The last thing we want to do is make you think we condem you or look down our noses at you. We do not. What we want is for you to know that all of us must cope with temptation and sin.

Yet, thanks to our loving God, who loves us so much he sent his Son to give us a way of escape, a ray of hope.

You see, we all sin and fall short of the glory of God. Each and everyone of us who have been born again work daily to move from temptation and sin. The thing is, we will spend our entire lives battling temptation and sin. The only one who was able to live a life without sin was the Son of God. That is why our Heavenly Father sent him, to do what we we could not do. And by doing this, he gave us a way, a path that saved our souls from hell.

God wants us to follow him, not because we have to, but because we want to. He does not want slaves, he wants children.

So I hope this helps. Just know we will love you as you are and we will pray that the Lord help you overcome this problem. In Jesus name.
 
Prodigal_Son said:
It is worth pointing out that hundreds of thousands of individuals in canonical Catholic marriages do just that. They may have a spouse who disagrees with church teaching, or they may have a relationship that has soured to intimacy in some way.

And those who have never found the right person to marry also give up sex for life.

And priests and religious give up sex for life, for the sake of the church. They chose their position, yes, but does that make the day-to-day sacrifice easier?

Following Jesus is dying to self. But oh! the grace that we find in that sacrifice!
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I do agree that many RCC teachings can be difficult for many people to adher to, and the sacrifice cannot always be easy, in fact it may be very difficult. However, in most every case these are matters of choice. And when choices turn out to be incorrect, there are solutions that don’t involve enforced celibacy. Priests and nuns can request release from vows, marriages that have gone awry can be desolved via annulment, people can lower their sometimes lofty requirements as to an appropriate spouse.

Homosexuals are not so by choice, they are made that way, as a product of probable genetic and socio/environmental factors. To impose such a non choice on them is to my mind unconscionable, and I don’t think that the bible, properly understood would necessarily disagree today. We have plenty of precedent for determining that certain “laws” are no longer appropriate in our society today.

But my point was merely to offer the OP that there are more than one opinion on such matters, and that is clear even within the RCC. There are blogs out there, such as the Wild Reed which is deeply Catholic yet deeply working to change the mind and heart of the Church. My own Church is not settled on the issue, but is moving toward the compassionate and I believe correct position of honoring committed loving relationships period without worry about sexual identification.

I do however appreciate that you think differently. If it were a choice, I might well think differently.
 
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