C
Chazemataz
Guest
Do me a favor (and maybe them as well) and ask them at least five of the questions here: englishatheist.org/questions.shtml and tell me how they answer.
- Status
C
Catholics4Life
Guest
They have answered those questions and more on this website:
e-watchman.com/questions/
I talk to some on a regular basis, I have shown them where the NWT is wrong and they insist that it is simply restored to it’s “pre-apostasy” state, I have shown and proven that the Watchtower website misquotes Catholic sources and even the Encyclopedia and they refuse to believe, I have shown them that history contradicts their theories that the early Christians did not believe in the trinity (they most certainly did!) and they think that the historic websites that report facts are somehow wrong. I have shown them verses that prove that Jesus is God, yet they insist that He is the Archangel Michael. I ask them to show me where in the bible it says that God’s Church will disappear from the time right after the death of the apostles to the late 1800’s when a man decides he knows the right translation of the bible (they ignore the fact that the bible comes from the Church that the apostles started with the instructions that Jesus left). I don’t know, they only want to believe the lies that they are told by the Watchtower and they think everyone and everything that proves them wrong are part of some conspiricacy. I just have to pray for them and plant seeds. God bless them.
e-watchman.com/questions/
I talk to some on a regular basis, I have shown them where the NWT is wrong and they insist that it is simply restored to it’s “pre-apostasy” state, I have shown and proven that the Watchtower website misquotes Catholic sources and even the Encyclopedia and they refuse to believe, I have shown them that history contradicts their theories that the early Christians did not believe in the trinity (they most certainly did!) and they think that the historic websites that report facts are somehow wrong. I have shown them verses that prove that Jesus is God, yet they insist that He is the Archangel Michael. I ask them to show me where in the bible it says that God’s Church will disappear from the time right after the death of the apostles to the late 1800’s when a man decides he knows the right translation of the bible (they ignore the fact that the bible comes from the Church that the apostles started with the instructions that Jesus left). I don’t know, they only want to believe the lies that they are told by the Watchtower and they think everyone and everything that proves them wrong are part of some conspiricacy. I just have to pray for them and plant seeds. God bless them.
J
jschwehm
Guest
D
Dandilion
Guest
If they come to your door step to bother you, like they do mine, tell them your appostate and they will never come back.They practice shunning.
A
At_His_Feet
Guest
I think that a good thing to ask the Witnesses would be the following:
How often did the early Christians celebrate the Lord’s Evening Meal? (that’s what they call Communion)
It should be non-threatening, it stays off of the dreaded hellfire and Trinity subjects which they are trained to debate, and the true answer is quite contrary to what the Watchtower teaches.
Expect them to tell you how often they celebrate it (once a year on the night of the Passover), and why (because that’s when Jesus did). Then say something like - “Would you be willing to do some research on the early Christians and find out how often they really celebrated it?” It just might get them started in looking into the Early Church Fathers.
Be prepared to show them this from Justin Martyr
"On the day we call the day of the sun, all who dwell in the city or country gather in the same place.The memoirs of the apostles and the writings of the prophets are read, as much as time permits.When the reader has finished, he who presides over those gathered admonishes and challenges them to imitate these beautiful things.Then we all rise together and offer prayers* for ourselves . . . and for all others, wherever they may be, so that we may be found righteous by our life and actions, and faithful to the commandments, so as to obtain eternal salvation.When the prayers are concluded we exchange the kiss.Then someone brings bread and a cup of water and wine mixed together to him who presides over the brethren.He takes them and offers praise and glory to the Father of the universe, through the name of the Son and of the Holy Spirit and for a considerable time he gives thanks (in Greek: eucharistian) that we have been judged worthy of these gifts.When he has concluded the prayers and thanksgivings, all present give voice to an acclamation by saying: ‘Amen.'When he who presides has given thanks and the people have responded, those whom we call deacons give to those present the “eucharisted” bread, wine and water and take them to those who are absent. " (From Justin’s *First Apology (155CE), quoted in section 1345 of the Catechism.)
*Hopefully, if that sparks their interest you might move on to - what did the Meal *mean *to the early Christians? What did they think they were doing?
How often did the early Christians celebrate the Lord’s Evening Meal? (that’s what they call Communion)
It should be non-threatening, it stays off of the dreaded hellfire and Trinity subjects which they are trained to debate, and the true answer is quite contrary to what the Watchtower teaches.
Expect them to tell you how often they celebrate it (once a year on the night of the Passover), and why (because that’s when Jesus did). Then say something like - “Would you be willing to do some research on the early Christians and find out how often they really celebrated it?” It just might get them started in looking into the Early Church Fathers.
Be prepared to show them this from Justin Martyr
"On the day we call the day of the sun, all who dwell in the city or country gather in the same place.The memoirs of the apostles and the writings of the prophets are read, as much as time permits.When the reader has finished, he who presides over those gathered admonishes and challenges them to imitate these beautiful things.Then we all rise together and offer prayers* for ourselves . . . and for all others, wherever they may be, so that we may be found righteous by our life and actions, and faithful to the commandments, so as to obtain eternal salvation.When the prayers are concluded we exchange the kiss.Then someone brings bread and a cup of water and wine mixed together to him who presides over the brethren.He takes them and offers praise and glory to the Father of the universe, through the name of the Son and of the Holy Spirit and for a considerable time he gives thanks (in Greek: eucharistian) that we have been judged worthy of these gifts.When he has concluded the prayers and thanksgivings, all present give voice to an acclamation by saying: ‘Amen.'When he who presides has given thanks and the people have responded, those whom we call deacons give to those present the “eucharisted” bread, wine and water and take them to those who are absent. " (From Justin’s *First Apology (155CE), quoted in section 1345 of the Catechism.)
*Hopefully, if that sparks their interest you might move on to - what did the Meal *mean *to the early Christians? What did they think they were doing?
G
Greg72
Guest
Or if you’re not comfortable lying, then you can simply say something like I did :
“I’m really not interested. Thank you for your concern, but please don’t come again.”
They then invited me to attend Kingdom Hall at my convenience.
I told them that I probably wouldn’t go, so it wasn’t necessary to give me directions (one of them was looking through his materials for a card I assumed). I thanked them for the invitation, though, and wished them a good day.
They never came back.
All of the Jehovah’s Witnesses that I have encountered have been nice and reasonable people.
- Greg
N
Nan_S
Guest
I’ve got to tell you about my daughter and my cat, and how they unintentionally conspired to keep the JW’s away!
I have a cat we named Panther that spent its first few months living wild. Panther is a great rodent killer. He is also well-fed, and doesn’t always finish eating everything he kills.
My teenage daughter got ahold of a piece of sidewalk chalk and was drawing designs on the sidewalk and covered porch. Right in front of the front door she drew a large star inside a circle, then decorated it with Greek letters and various other symbols found on a star chart. I usually exit the house through the garage, and didn’t see this for couple of days.
Late that same night, Panther caught a rather large rat and drug it up onto the porch to feast. He only ate the head and upper shoulders. He abandoned the back half of the rat on the porch.
It just so happened that Panther dropped the half-rat exactly in the middle of the star/circle. The end result was that it appeared someone had conducted some kind of a satanic ritual sacrifice on my front porch!! The JW’s wouldn’t come near our door!! (The mailman and UPS man wouldn’t either.)
My daughter thought it was so funny that I had a hard time convincing her to get the hose and clean it all up.
I have a cat we named Panther that spent its first few months living wild. Panther is a great rodent killer. He is also well-fed, and doesn’t always finish eating everything he kills.
My teenage daughter got ahold of a piece of sidewalk chalk and was drawing designs on the sidewalk and covered porch. Right in front of the front door she drew a large star inside a circle, then decorated it with Greek letters and various other symbols found on a star chart. I usually exit the house through the garage, and didn’t see this for couple of days.
Late that same night, Panther caught a rather large rat and drug it up onto the porch to feast. He only ate the head and upper shoulders. He abandoned the back half of the rat on the porch.
It just so happened that Panther dropped the half-rat exactly in the middle of the star/circle. The end result was that it appeared someone had conducted some kind of a satanic ritual sacrifice on my front porch!! The JW’s wouldn’t come near our door!! (The mailman and UPS man wouldn’t either.)
My daughter thought it was so funny that I had a hard time convincing her to get the hose and clean it all up.
A
Atreyu
Guest
Wow that is an absolutely classic story! Next time I have a problem with JW’s I’ll know what to do 
E
Evanescence
Guest
LOL Nan S! 
How to Get an “X” Marked over Your House on the "Territory Map"
Evanescence
How to Get an “X” Marked over Your House on the "Territory Map"- Every time they say “God,” or the ever-popular “Jehovah-God” say “…or Goddess.”
- Go to the Sunday “Public Meeting” at your local Kingdom Hall to share the good news of your religion with them.
- Ask them if they think Jesus’ feelings might be hurt when no-one partakes of the wine and bread at his memorial dinner.
- Attend the yearly “Memorial” of the Last Supper and actually drink the wine.
- Tell them you know they mean well, but you believe in a God “of love and forgiveness.”
- Wear the national flag and start talking about how you’re “proud to be an American” (or whichever country).
- Ask them what day the sun was created, since it is at once the source of light, the marker of days, the sun, and a star.
- Ask them how the “fruits of the spirit” are manifested by current news items regarding JWs (take your pick: protecting pedophiles, exJWs who go postal after being disfellowshipped and shunned, JW murderers and rapists, etc. Check the JW News page for the latest.)
- Ask them how proud they are that some ultra-right political Christians now share their views on Halloween.
- Ask them who Cain married.
- Remark that the rapid blinking of the “new light” might be a health hazard to epileptics.
- Ask them why the Watchtower Society is based in New York rather than in any holy city of the bible.
- Ask them about the recent “corporate restructuring” of the Watchtower Society.
- Ask them who owns their Kingdom Hall.
- Ask them to sit quietly and concentrate on their breathing.
- Ask them if independent thinking is still “against their religion.” That is actually a prohibition of the group? “Awake!” indeed!
- When they ask, “Can I talk to you about God?” Reply, “Sure, what would you like to know?”
- Ask them for their address. When they ask why you want it, claim that you want to appear on their doorstop uninvited so that you can peddle your own beliefs.
- For males only: While you’re talking with them, start putting on lipstick… and remark that you have a hot date.
- Answer every one of their questions with “What do you mean by that?”
- Tell them you already have your own religion. When they ask what it is, wince a little before confessing, “er, I’m not sure if it’s legal in this country.”
- A chalk outline of a human body on the pavement, and a few copies of “The Watchtower” scattered around…
- Ask them to explain the story of Elisha and the forty-two children.
- Pretend to be the slowest talking person in the world and see how long their loving-kindness and patience last.
- Say, “I’m sorry, could you come back in a half hour? We’re not done with the virgin yet.”
- Pick an oft-repeated word in the “approved lexicon” and giggle or say “beep” whenever they utter it. If they ask you what’s going on, say “nothing, why?” in very even tones.
Evanescence
J
joshua1
Guest
Invite them in to pray the Rosary with you. Right after JPII passed away, my wife invited them in to say a Rosary for the Pope and the election of the new one. They politely excused themselves and went away. The Rosary…What a powerful weapon.
C
Chazemataz
Guest
ROFLMAO!! I liked the one that said Tell them you already have your own religion. When they ask what it is, wince a little before confessing, “er, I’m not sure if it’s legal in this country.”LOL Nan S!
virushead.net/jwhumor.html
- Every time they say “God,” or the ever-popular “Jehovah-God” say “…or Goddess.”
- Go to the Sunday “Public Meeting” at your local Kingdom Hall to share the good news of your religion with them.
- Ask them if they think Jesus’ feelings might be hurt when no-one partakes of the wine and bread at his memorial dinner.
- Attend the yearly “Memorial” of the Last Supper and actually drink the wine.
- Tell them you know they mean well, but you believe in a God “of love and forgiveness.”
- Wear the national flag and start talking about how you’re “proud to be an American” (or whichever country).
- Ask them what day the sun was created, since it is at once the source of light, the marker of days, the sun, and a star.
- Ask them how the “fruits of the spirit” are manifested by current news items regarding JWs (take your pick: protecting pedophiles, exJWs who go postal after being disfellowshipped and shunned, JW murderers and rapists, etc. Check the JW News page for the latest.)
- Ask them how proud they are that some ultra-right political Christians now share their views on Halloween.
- Ask them who Cain married.
- Remark that the rapid blinking of the “new light” might be a health hazard to epileptics.
- Ask them why the Watchtower Society is based in New York rather than in any holy city of the bible.
- Ask them about the recent “corporate restructuring” of the Watchtower Society.
- Ask them who owns their Kingdom Hall.
- Ask them to sit quietly and concentrate on their breathing.
- Ask them if independent thinking is still “against their religion.” That is actually a prohibition of the group? “Awake!” indeed!
- When they ask, “Can I talk to you about God?” Reply, “Sure, what would you like to know?”
- Ask them for their address. When they ask why you want it, claim that you want to appear on their doorstop uninvited so that you can peddle your own beliefs.
- For males only: While you’re talking with them, start putting on lipstick… and remark that you have a hot date.
- Answer every one of their questions with “What do you mean by that?”
- Tell them you already have your own religion. When they ask what it is, wince a little before confessing, “er, I’m not sure if it’s legal in this country.”
- A chalk outline of a human body on the pavement, and a few copies of “The Watchtower” scattered around…
- Ask them to explain the story of Elisha and the forty-two children.
- Pretend to be the slowest talking person in the world and see how long their loving-kindness and patience last.
- Say, “I’m sorry, could you come back in a half hour? We’re not done with the virgin yet.”
- Pick an oft-repeated word in the “approved lexicon” and giggle or say “beep” whenever they utter it. If they ask you what’s going on, say “nothing, why?” in very even tones.
Evanescence
I might seriously have to try these out. I wouldn’t be able to finish without cracking up though! LOL!
C
Catholics4Life
Guest
There are a couple of them that I converse with on the internet and one in particular is always trying to insult the Catholic faith and when I try to tell her what we really believe she always makes remarks like “ROLF!” and but if I try to politely point out things like why is their World Headquaters in New York and that the Watchtower misquotes, she suddenly turns on me and says I am making a mockery of her religion. Goodness gracious. Not all are like this of course and most I meet are very nice and moral people though, I think she is just an exception. I like the one - Answer every one of their questions with “What do you mean by that?” - LOL!
C
catsrus
Guest
[QUOTEAsk them to explain the story of Elisha and the forty-two children.
]
I did ask them once about this. I was told that the children did evil by their making fun of Elisha and that they deserved death.
Now when I talk to them, I take immediate control of the conversation by evangelizeing them and putting them on the defensive. They leave rather quickly.
]
I did ask them once about this. I was told that the children did evil by their making fun of Elisha and that they deserved death.
Now when I talk to them, I take immediate control of the conversation by evangelizeing them and putting them on the defensive. They leave rather quickly.
E
Evanescence
Guest
A chalk outline of a human body on the pavement, and a few copies of “The Watchtower” scattered around…
That one would be one of my favourites! I also like the “what do you mean by that?”
Evanescence
That one would be one of my favourites! I also like the “what do you mean by that?”
Evanescence
S
stbruno
Guest
I keep a stack of old well worn Catholic newspapers and periodicals near my door and when they offer me a Watchtower magazine, I say, I am willing to make a trade if they will take one of mine. They apparently are told they must refuse, and I politely ask them why they cannot read mine and if they cannot, I cannot take their literature. Frequently, many JW’s are fallen away Catholics so I engage them to explain what is the reason they have fallen away. It gets me into a discussion about the importance of all the things they are now missing, including the graces of the Holy Eucharist. All I can do is plant seeds…and some are already there, but haven’t been watered or cultivated. Apparently, most are met with resistance when they come knocking at our doors…so I kill them with kindness…
T
The_Eurasian
Guest
stbruno
In the 1890’s there was a Jehovah Witness who was planning to assasinate the Pope. I think his name was “BRUNO(?)”. I heard this from EWTN TV, I think about 15 years ago. I think from Mother Angelica.
One day he was there with his daughters (children) who were playing ball. The ball rolled into a nearby cave and a daughter went to get the ball. But the daughter did not come back so the second daughter went inside the cave. Both daughter did not get back so the next daughter also went into the cave. Finally all the daughters were inside the cave. Soon the father also went inside the cave to see why his daughters did not come out of the cave. On entering the cave, he saw what was keeping his daughters!!! HIS DAUGHTERS WERE THERE LOOKING AT AN APPARITION OF THE VIRGIN MARY!!! The Virgin Mary then said to him something like this, “ENOUGH OF THIS FOOLISHNES!!! WELCOME TO THE TRUE CHURCH!!!”
As a result of this apparition, he became a Catholic and gave the Pope this gift, “THE VERY DAGGER THAT HE WAS GOING TO USE TO ASSASINATE THE POPE.” His daughters became Catholic nuns.
If my memory is correct, this happened in Italy.
In the 1890’s there was a Jehovah Witness who was planning to assasinate the Pope. I think his name was “BRUNO(?)”. I heard this from EWTN TV, I think about 15 years ago. I think from Mother Angelica.
One day he was there with his daughters (children) who were playing ball. The ball rolled into a nearby cave and a daughter went to get the ball. But the daughter did not come back so the second daughter went inside the cave. Both daughter did not get back so the next daughter also went into the cave. Finally all the daughters were inside the cave. Soon the father also went inside the cave to see why his daughters did not come out of the cave. On entering the cave, he saw what was keeping his daughters!!! HIS DAUGHTERS WERE THERE LOOKING AT AN APPARITION OF THE VIRGIN MARY!!! The Virgin Mary then said to him something like this, “ENOUGH OF THIS FOOLISHNES!!! WELCOME TO THE TRUE CHURCH!!!”
As a result of this apparition, he became a Catholic and gave the Pope this gift, “THE VERY DAGGER THAT HE WAS GOING TO USE TO ASSASINATE THE POPE.” His daughters became Catholic nuns.
If my memory is correct, this happened in Italy.
K
kaymart
Guest
That could work
Dogs are wonderful too, if you have a fence-in yard just let them out to “play”. Most dogs even friendly ones bark at strangers and they will be afraid to enter. Works for me. Just make sure a “beware of dog” sign is up, they enter your yard its their fault.
M
Mimi
Guest
Ver-r-ry Interesting. Would you be willing to follow that up and find out a reliable source for this story? ’
Mimi
The Eurasian:
Mimi
The Eurasian:
A
At_His_Feet
Guest
One thing to keep in mind about that 1890s experience is that, back then the organization that is known today as Jehovah’s Witnesses was just starting out. Also, they didn’t call themselves “Jehovah’s Witnesses” until the 1930s. Before that, they were known as “Russellites”, “Millenial Dawn”, or “International Bible Students”. CT Russell started publishing Zion’s Watch Tower and Herald of Christ’s Presence in 1879. So if the story is true, it may have been an early follower of CT Russell.
A
arieh0310
Guest
I just ask them to say the pledge of alliegance with me first.
- Status