IO–Maybe some of us feel like NFP has been talked to death, so there is only so much one can contribute to the same topic. I only happen to click on these threads every once in awhile. Furthermore, I certainly don’t see anything OTHER than “ringing endorsements” for use of NFP.
To the OP, NFP was never a question of whether or not we would be embracing it within our marriage. During my early high school and college years, I was very confused about the Church’s position on contraception and spent much time exhausting resources available to me in order to find out the truth and hopefully accept it. I was shocked by how many priests and religious gave me very permissive answers not in line with doctrine, and eventually I turned to the Catechism after encountering a very informed priest who explained the truth to me. As it happened, I also met a very good friend of Christopher West and read a rough draft of “The Good News About Sex & Marriage” long before it was published. Those copied pages went a long way in challenging and eventually changing my heart to the ways of the Church’s wisdom.
I met my husband two years into his reversion to our faith. What brought him back to the Church was learning the truth about how our God-given sexuality was meant to be expressed inside the covenant of marriage. He went to a conference on Theology of the Body and did a lot of research on his own, finding himself immersed in thought and eventually prayer, asking God to make his heart faithful and to point him in the direction of truth. Many things happened along the way of his reversion, and he lost many friends for coming back to the Church, but what spoke to his heart most of all was the beauty of what the Church’s teachings were and how amazing a covenantal marriage in the Catholic Church could be–where one did not withhold anything from their spouse, including their fertility.
I think what we have both most enjoyed is the surrender that comes with offering one’s entire body to his or her spouse. There are no boundaries and nor are there any secrets. His body is mine, as I belong to him. He does not offer me only a fraction of his body, he offers me everything and I willingly receive him. Choosing to plan our family with the knowledge of our fertility also gives us a constant awareness of the Holy Spirit in our lives and the presence of God, our Heavenly Father, in our marriage and within our daily lives. It’s very awe-inspiring to realize that with every act of marital love, we recognize the power and beauty of God’s plan in the creation of new life and remain ever-open to it.
NFP has helped us diagnose all the many things that don’t work quite so perfectly within my body. It was a stepping stone used by a variety of doctors to help me get diagnosed with several issues that would otherwise have been suppressed or ignored by use of the pill or due to ignorance about my body. We were originally told that I couldn’t get pregnant even if I wanted to, and that if by some miracle I did get pregnant, my body would not sustain it. We are now over 17 weeks expecting and so excited to have participated in creating a new life with God. How amazing to know that this little baby has been planned by the Lord for ALL OF ETERNITY, and by cooperating with God’s grace, we have helped bring this little one into the world. His or her soul will exist for all of time!
NFP is not easy. There have been so many times where we wanted to express our love for each other, but had a very just and grave reason to avoid trying. The beauty of offering this sacrifice of our desire for one another, and not giving into the lie of contraception, is that we suffer for one another. The whole reason we are married is that we have a vocation to marriage and to one another. The role of a vocation is sanctification! We are called to obtain heaven and God has given us our specific vocation as the vehicle in which to get there. I know that this redemptive suffering of being apart when we wish to be together is only going to be rewarded in Heaven someday.
When a couple practicing NFP is communicating on a daily basis about the status of their fertility, it only follows that some intimate discussion leads to communication about other issues–both mundane and important. My husband and I talk, talk, talk. We spend hours laying on our bed or taking a long walk, just chatting. (I know, that might change as our family expands, but for now we cherish that time together.)
My husband is my best friend and I believe he will stay that way because of our continued committment to celebrating our sexuality rather than abusing it in the way of the world’s thinking.
