NFP - How many safe days to you have ?

[Kelfa28]

My cycles have always been fairly regular.

Usually I have 1-6 days of menstruation
Then one safe day…day 7…in phase one
Then I’m in phase 2 for about 10 days
Finally I’m in phase 3 for a further 9-10 days

The thing is…my husband and I never really followed every single rule. We use STM and usually I don’t wait the three-four extra days after ovulation. I might wait 2 days. There were one or two months where we only waited one day.
Or…we’ve pushed an extra day during phase 1 and used day 8…if I don’t have any cervical or mucus changes yet.

The beauty is…yes we wanted to wait at least a year before we conceived our second child…but we didn’t feel the need to be totally tied down to every single rule.

If I followed STM perfectly…I think I’d only have 8 truly safe days. But because we really are open to life…I don’t follow all the rules…which opens the door to more days.

Still…we didn’t conceive child number two until, you guessed it, a year after our first was born.

Clearly, if I have a truly dire reason to abstain in the future…we will have to follow all of the rules.
After the first kid, when we started using NFP, we were very strict about following every single rule…but as time went on…especially after the 6 month mark…I would open up days here and there. Usually one of the extra days after ovulation.

 

[Castinha]

We have at most two weeks available every month. We use to use up to day 10 but got caught out twice (now 5 kids) and reduced it to day 7. Being immigrants, with 5 kids (oldest being 12 and youngest 17 months) we decided that more kids is not a good idea. My wife’s physical health also tool a real hammering with the last pregancy and with 5 kids to look after I fear for her health if she should have another.

So that leaves us with love making only once or twice a month in reality. Most times she is exhausted but I am blessed in that my wife tries her best. When I see she is really tired I do not want to put pressure on her. We use the psympto-thermal method but often temperature taking is out of the window due to little kids sleeping with us at times, or needing Mom in the early morning. My wife’s cycles are also very irregular.

From a guy’s perspective it is very hard going. I often question if NFP is really the answer. We do not want to offend God and so we try our best to stick to it. Sometimes we do cheat when things become unbearable I must admit. Typically she is most “interested” when ovulating. Most other times it is hard work for her. Soon our anniverary is coming up, but like many times in the past we go on a date but cannot use that day.

 

[mt_gooseberry]

Some thoughts…

If a particular method is not giving you as many days as you like, maybe try another method. I know several couples who have switched methods in order to get more days. Mostly I have noticed people switching from STM to Billings or Creighton, or back and forth between Billings and Creighton. I know that I did a ton of research before I chose a method, and that is one of the reasons that led me to choose Creighton, although I still like to temp for extra O confirmation.

Also, I know this is very personal and you don’t necessarily have to answer…but those of you whose husbands struggle with premature ejaculation…are they circumcised? The number one cause of pre-e is actually circumcision (ironically enough, it is also a big cause of taking too long). My own DH is intact and even during his frisky teen years, he never finished until he wanted too. If you feel like that might be an issue, there are actually some things you can do. Google “foreskin restoration,” and read through www.sexasnatureintendedit.com (warning! this site has some graphic videos, so you might want to stick with the text-only pages! it is meant to be educational, but be prepared!).

Finally, I also recommend looking into trying to lengthen the cycle. Aside from supplements like those recommended in the Shannon book, you might want to get in touch with a NaPro doctor. They work miracles.

Oh, and I can’t comment on how many days we have, as I learned NFP while pg and am currently on my first postpartum cycle, so no personal data.