Two things – NFP works no matter how long or short, consistent or inconsistent a woman’s cycle is. I used to have cycles with a lot of variation – sometimes in the 20’s, sometimes as long as 50 or 54 days. (Since having babies, that has resolved.) Once I finally learned how to use NFP, it was SUCH a relief to see that my body “worked” as it should, no matter what the variation. My temperature dipped and rose with ovulation, I had a predictable luteal phase (the part of the cycle AFTER ovulation), etc. Such a relief!
The other is that too many Catholics operate on what they think the Church or Humanae Vitae (in particular) says, perhaps because they are intimidated or afraid to actually find out. I have been involved with so many debates and long discussions with people about what they think “the rules” are, without ever having taken the time to read the actual document. Once you read it, it is a LOT less scary, and a lot more clear.
Here is the link to Humanae Vitae in English – the official Vatican translation (note that the official translation does not include the word “grave” as we in the US have long believed – i.e. “grave reasons”. It actually says “serious” reasons and lists economy as one possible “serious” reason).
Here a few quotes that are very clear and very accessible (I have bolded a few lines):
“With regard to physical, economic, psychological and social conditions, responsible parenthood is exercised by those who prudently and generously decide to have more children, and by those who, for serious reasons and with due respect to moral precepts, decide not to have additional children for
either a certain or an indefinite period of time.”
“Neither the Church nor her doctrine is inconsistent when she considers it lawful for married people to take advantage of the infertile period but condemns as always unlawful the use of means which directly prevent conception, even when the reasons given for the later practice may appear to be upright and serious. In reality, these two cases are completely different. In the former
the married couple rightly use a faculty provided them by nature. In the latter they obstruct the natural development of the generative process.
It cannot be denied that in each case the married couple, for acceptable reasons, are both perfectly clear in their intention to avoid children and wish to make sure that none will result. But it is equally true that it is exclusively in the former case that husband and wife are ready to abstain from intercourse during the fertile period as often as for reasonable motives the birth of another child is not desirable. And when the infertile period recurs, they use their married intimacy to express their mutual love and safeguard their fidelity toward one another. In doing this they certainly give proof of a true and authentic love.”
Once we finally bothered to read the actual document, my husband and I were both very reassured. We have three children and will probably have another some day. But I have a history of postpartum depression and it’s important to us to take it one child at a time, and make sure that I’m healed in between. We also live on a single public school teacher’s salary, which isn’t much. But we live comfortably, without great hardship. Children don’t need as much “stuff” as we think they do. We would love to take a big vacation one day, but I can say from the smaller vacations we’ve had the fortune to take that vacations are not necessarily as relaxing and heavenly as we build them up to be in our minds. So, even that is only an “extra” which can be done without.
And no, we are not the picture of perfect money management. We’ve made plenty of mistakes, but we still make ends meet.
