NFP is too hard to do

  • Thread starter Thread starter Christian4life
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
2) are you using a special thermometer made to detect ovulation?
Does such a think exist? I thought I had a pretty good thermometer. It’s digital! I can’t read the glass ones.
**

Is your digital themometer a basal temp one? If not check out the links or ask at your local pharmacy, most drug stores carry them.

babyhopes.com/basal-thermometer.html
early-pregnancy-tests.com/bbt-thermometers.html
ccli.org/catalog/cclcatalog.phtml?f_cat=basic&criteria=category&order_by=name

**The Couple to Couple League International
**PO Box 111184 Cincinnati, Ohio 45211-1184
Main Number: (513) 471-2000
 
Christian4life

Please understand my first post was tongue-in-cheek.

I would never intend that a marriage should split up on account of such transient things as employment status, or health status, etc.

I was trying to point out how ludicrous it is that someone would consider their spouses’ change in faith to be grounds to nullify their marriage.

Part of the marriage vows is that they be unconditional. As soon as a person understands their vows to be under the condition that their spouse remains non-Catholic, they are not far from accepting other conditions like: under the condition that their spouse can provide a fat paycheck.
 
My wife and I have been making use of the Billings Mucus Method for 22 years now. It takes about 10 seconds per evening. It not only worked when she was regular, but also when she became pre-menopausal and extremely irregular.

When we taught engagement encounter for about a year, we were asked to briefly describe the process in private to inquiring couples. We laughed when many of those couples responded, “You do THAT???!!! Yeeeeeeeeech!”

The Billings Method is not too hard to do. It’s about as difficult as popping a birth control pill.
 
I have a question. What happens when your doctor puts you on birthcontrol pills? She said that if i don’t take them, i will continue to have huge cysts that will rupture & cause internal bleeding! Is it still wrong if you need them? Don’t get me wrong, my husband and I have tried to have children for about a year, nothing. Then the doc found the first cyst, it was the size of a babies head! So she insisted on me taking the pill. I’m confused about this!
 
40.png
Jessy1011:
I have a question. What happens when your doctor puts you on birthcontrol pills? She said that if i don’t take them, i will continue to have huge cysts that will rupture & cause internal bleeding! Is it still wrong if you need them? Don’t get me wrong, my husband and I have tried to have children for about a year, nothing. Then the doc found the first cyst, it was the size of a babies head! So she insisted on me taking the pill. I’m confused about this!
Click to expand...
Hopefully, you are not trying to derail this thread…

It may be moral for you to take the birth control pills as long as they are being taken for treatment of a medical condition and have the unintended effect of birth control. It would be best to consult a good priest as well as a Catholic physician to explore alternative treatments.
 
40.png
Christian4life:
Okay well I’m not a Catholic, I am a Protestant but I agree with you guys on a ton of issues. I think birth control is wrong for a lot of reasons. But I have tried to learn NFP on my own and it is too darn hard. I’ve read 3 different books on it and I do understand how it’s done, but I just can’t do it. All the signs they say to look for happen like ALL the time. I have very long cycles and my temperature doesn’t go up more than a couple tenths of a degree, but that happens every 2 or 3 days. The other method didn’t work for me either. So I told my husband if we do this, we are going to have to be abstinent for about 3 weeks every month just to be sure, and he said absolutely no way.

So my question is, how can anyone do this? I’m kind of embarrassed to have to go take a class on it, and my husband wouldn’t even do that I’m sure. What do you think I should do, any advice?
Click to expand...
First, you should take a class. You should NOT be embarrassed. The class will give you MUCH more confidence in the method and you will learn that what you believe to be signs “all the time” are not, there are differences that you learn how to distinguish in class. It’s way different from reading books. I read up on NFP just to know about it due to my pro-life work, and now am taking classes in preparation for marriage. **BIG ** difference. I suggest the Creighton Model. Visit www.creightonmodel.com to locat teachers in your area.

Secondly, please pardon my butting in to your marriage, but I think your husband has a disordered view of sex inside marriage if his reaction to abstinence for good reasons is “no way”. I’d suggest studying Theology of the Body For Beginners by Cristopher West.

I’d also gently remind my husband that Jesus probably thought getting up on that Cross for us was pretty darn hard… but he did it anyway for love of us. Trust in the Lord, be obedient, and most of all whatever you do, do in love for the other. Your husband should be able to abstain for love of YOU. To contracept is to make a sex-object out of you, put your body at risk, and put your souls at risk by defiling a covenant act with something you know to be wrong. Maybe your husband should check out www.dads.org.
 
40.png
Jessy1011:
I have a question. What happens when your doctor puts you on birthcontrol pills? She said that if i don’t take them, i will continue to have huge cysts that will rupture & cause internal bleeding! Is it still wrong if you need them? Don’t get me wrong, my husband and I have tried to have children for about a year, nothing. Then the doc found the first cyst, it was the size of a babies head! So she insisted on me taking the pill. I’m confused about this!
Click to expand...
Get another doctor. BCP is not a cure! I’d suggest visiting www.popepaulvi.com to find out about Dr. Hilgers, and also www.creightonmodel.com to find a Creighton teacher. Charting is step one in figuring out the source of your infertility problems. Dr. Hilgers can use your Creighton charts to help you overcome your infertility.
 
Well I talked about it with him, and my husband said I could take a class in NFP if there is one nearby. I don’t think there is, but I’m going to look into it. Even if I do find one near here there is still a problem of actually getting there and who’s going to watch my baby. I can’t tell my husband’s mom I’m going to an NFP class and could she please watch my baby. She is so so conservative she would probably turn bright red!

Yeah I don’t think it’s very fair that my husband told me I wouldn’t be as much his wife anymore if I were to become Catholic. He considers it a betrayal I think, because my religion was really really important to him from the beginning. His dad is a Baptist pastor. So I’ve pretty much told myself I will just stay protestant to avoid conflict in my marriage…it would be really hard on us if we had to go through arguments about whether to baptise our babies and things like that. He said I am absolutely not raising our kids to be Catholic. It makes me really sad but I want us to get along because I love him so much and he’s my husband.

Well that’s that. Anyway thank you all fo the advice. I had hoped there was another way besides having to take a class…but I guess you guys are right that probably is the best way if you don’t want to do it wrong.
 
rayne89 said:
*2) are you using a special thermometer made to detect ovulation? *
Does such a think exist? I thought I had a pretty good thermometer. It’s digital! I can’t read the glass ones.

Is your digital themometer a basal temp one? If not check out the links or ask at your local pharmacy, most drug stores carry them.

babyhopes.com/basal-thermometer.html
early-pregnancy-tests.com/bbt-thermometers.html
ccli.org/catalog/cclcatalog.phtml?f_cat=basic&criteria=category&order_by=name

The Couple to Couple League International
PO Box 111184 Cincinnati, Ohio 45211-1184
Main Number: (513) 471-2000
Click to expand...

I don’t know. I will look into that. Is there really a difference?
 
Christian4life,

You be sincere with your beliefs. If you believe the Catholic Church is correct, then you’ll go insane living a lie. Conversely, don’t become Catholic unless you’re convinced of its truthfulness.

If you converted, I don’t believe you would be obligated to raise your children Catholic. That’s part of the vows taken if you were married in the Catholic Church.

Baptism is roughly the same either way you go.

Having a spouse switch faiths is difficult, I understand where your husband is coming from. I just disagree with that as a valid position to take. Don’t turn your back on Christ just to smooth things out in the short run. He promised not to forget you and you can hold Him to that.
 
40.png
Christian4life:
I don’t know. I will look into that. Is there really a difference?
Click to expand...
Yes, there is a big difference and it might be why your temp is problematic. You can’t use the regular thermometer, you need a basal thermometer. They have them at most all drugstores, they are sometimes on the “family planning” aisle. Just ask the pharmacist where the basal thermometers are… they will be able to direct you to the right item.

If you absolutely have to do self-study, I highly recommend the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It is very detailed with lots of example charts. I still recommend the class as the absolute best way to learn NFP… but if you can’t find one then this book is really good. You can order it from amazon.com or get your local bookstore to order it.
 
Okay well I’m not a Catholic, I am a Protestant but I agree with you guys on a ton of issues.

So my question is, how can anyone do this? I’m kind of embarrassed to have to go take a class on it, and my husband wouldn’t even do that I’m sure. What do you think I should do, any advice?

I don’t mean to be blunt but,
About the ton, do you agree artificial contraception is a mortal sin? (i.e. the unrepentant practitioner goes to hell after death)

Does your husband have you do all the contracepting so he can have an easier burden (family size) to carry?

Would he consider having a vasectemy to let you stop contracepting, so you won’t end up in hell with him?

MY ADVICE - Just have the kids God sends your way. Don’t try to outsmart God. Poverty? He’ll see you thru it. Plus, after about number 9 your husband will sign both of you up for a class. 🙂

Love the sinner, hate the sin.
 
I found taking a class to be very helpful Our Catholic Diocese in Memphis offers them regularly. I could benefit from a refresher as I’ve become lax in charting. I learned the Billings method. But the couple-to-couple league suggestion also sounds good.

The class I took was not at all embarassing. Very factual and scientific, and they link you up with a sponsor to follow up wtih questions. Lots of protestants take the class, too. Probably as many protestants as Catholics. Good luck to you and keep trying.
 
Pray, pray, pray! and trust in God for the number of children He sends. It might be 3, 6, 9, OR it may be 1. He alone knows what should be in store for you and your husband. In worrying about how many children *not *to have, you may be putting the cart before the horse. Have you read the book “Open Embrace”? It was written about a Protestant couple who opened themselves to life.

God bless you!

Debbie
 
Black Jaque:
Christian4life,

You be sincere with your beliefs. If you believe the Catholic Church is correct, then you’ll go insane living a lie. Conversely, don’t become Catholic unless you’re convinced of its truthfulness.

I still feel the need to learn more about it first. I already resolved a lot of my questions here, but I have others. I am far more leaning towards it than I used to be, but I hesitate because there are things I disagree with.

If you converted, I don’t believe you would be obligated to raise your children Catholic. That’s part of the vows taken if you were married in the Catholic Church.

I would want to though.

Baptism is roughly the same either way you go.

I think my husband just doesn’t value baptism very much, so in a way, we are going to argue about that either way.
Having a spouse switch faiths is difficult, I understand where your husband is coming from. I just disagree with that as a valid position to take. Don’t turn your back on Christ just to smooth things out in the short run. He promised not to forget you and you can hold Him to that.
Click to expand...
Thanks.
 
40.png
Debbie:
Pray, pray, pray! and trust in God for the number of children He sends. It might be 3, 6, 9, OR it may be 1. He alone knows what should be in store for you and your husband.

Well if you don’t do anything, most people would probably end up getting pregnant every year they were fertile. Chance of getting pregnant with no birth control pregnant per year is over 80%. Sorry to say, but I’m only 24 and have one kid already, got a good 18 or 20 or so fertile years left in all probability, and not in the market for 18 or 20 kids.

In worrying about how many children *not *to have, you may be putting the cart before the horse.

It’s just that I feel if I don’t worry, the above will happen.

Have you read the book “Open Embrace”? It was written about a Protestant couple who opened themselves to life.

I can look it up. I believe in being open to life. If you are pregnant, you are a mother. Well I am open to it. If I get pregnant, we’d make it work out, but I just don’t want to get pregnant more than 4 or 5 times, and right now it wouldn’t be my immediate goal to get pregnant again.

God bless you!

Thank you. You too.

Debbie
Click to expand...
 
Christian4life, I would love to help you out. I don’t know where you live in Ohio, but if you are in northeast Ohio, I would babysit for you and even give you a ride! Chances are, we are not close enough for that, but if you go to the CCL website you can pull up a list of couples in your area with addresses, phone numbers and e-mails. Call someone on that list, and I know that you will find all the support you need. Good luck in you journey. You have set your foot on the right path!
 
I agree that NFP can be extremely difficult. Here’s why. It takes TWO people to practice it. If only one person in the couple wants to practice it and the other one doesn’t, what on earth is that person supposed to do? It could be that the other person wants to practice ABC. It could also be that the other person wants to ignore the whole thing and just let whatever happens happen.

This might not be a problem for a healthy couple with plenty of money, but it can certainly be a big problem if the wife shouldn’t be pregnant for health reasons. The most difficult thing about NFP would be to get your spouse to agree with it, especially when it comes to the day-to-day situations where abstinence is required.
 
40.png
Listener:
I agree that NFP can be extremely difficult. Here’s why. It takes TWO people to practice it. If only one person in the couple wants to practice it and the other one doesn’t, what on earth is that person supposed to do? It could be that the other person wants to practice ABC. It could also be that the other person wants to ignore the whole thing and just let whatever happens happen.

This might not be a problem for a healthy couple with plenty of money, but it can certainly be a big problem if the wife shouldn’t be pregnant for health reasons. The most difficult thing about NFP would be to get your spouse to agree with it, especially when it comes to the day-to-day situations where abstinence is required.
Click to expand...
Exactly. If I tell my husband we cannot make love tonight because I think I am fertile, he’ll say, “Don’t you want to have more babies?” Even though he doesn’t. It’s like I’m the bad guy or something just because I am trying to take precautions. He thinks we should just go ahead and use ABC because then it is easier.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top