NFP is too hard to do

[1ke]

Christian4life:

He thinks we should just go ahead and use ABC because then it is easier.

I thought that both of you had already concluded ABC is wrong.

Yes, ABC would be easier, that’s why the bible says that the path to Salvation is narrow and that most take the wide, easy path.

Don’t give up and don’t give in.

You need to know, however, that if you refuse to contracept and HE contracepts (ie, condom, sterilization) then YOU are not sinning. Periodically attempt to get him to see that contraception is wrong. Perhaps it will take as long as it did St. Monica to pray her son, St. Augustine, into the church… but don’t give up, his soul is worth it!

(oh and p.s. If he does contracept by using a condom on a day you say is fertile, ask him if HE wants a baby… condoms have a huge failure rate and if you know you are fertile… well, you do the math).

 

[im_wildrose]

Hi!

I just read this thead and think I have a few thoughts to offer. First, to echo what so many others have said, you should definitely look into at least the home study course from Couple to Couple League and also try contacting an instructor in your area. There’s a great lady here where we are who actually came out to our house to bring me materials and visit with me. We keep in contact regularly by phone and email.

Second, you said your baby is only 7 months old? It is very likely that you are not ovulating yet which is why your temps don’t seem to change. A certain amount of fluxuation is normal on a day to day basis but when ovulation comes your temp will go way up and stay up until you get your period. Even if you’re getting your period though, you may not be ovulating, especially if you’re still nursing.

Third, I have to testify personally that, doing nothing to prevent pregnancy does not equal automatic and continuous pregnancy. If this was the case, there would be no problems anywhere with infertility. I belong to an online site that helps you chart your cycles (www.fertilityfriend.com). They have forums on which people can chat about their cycles, ask questions, etc. It’s geared toward those trying to conceive and there are TONS of women on there who try month after month to have a baby with no results. It’s amazing.

For myself personally, since coming back to the faith 7 yrs ago and stopping all use of ABC, we had 4 children back to back (they are currently almost 6, 4.5, 3, and 2) and have now had none. We used NFP to avoid pregnancy till our baby was a little over one and then tried using NFP to conceive but I became very discouraged when nothing happened after several months so we stopped charting altogether. Our youngest one turned 2 in Dec. and we are still waiting for God to bless us again, if it is within His will. I’m only 32 but I do think that age has a lot to do with being able to conceive. I’ve seen statistics that show a significantly lower ability to conceive after 30. So, don’t wait to long!!

I hope some of this helps. Best of luck and God bless, Jen

 

[Christian4life]

1ke:

I thought that both of you had already concluded ABC is wrong.

We did. That’s what’s so confusing. He knows it’s wrong but he still wants to do it because he doesn’t want to be abstinent at all. Sometimes he agrees that we can do NFP, but then when I know I’m fertile he changes his mind. It’s so frustrating!

Yes, ABC would be easier, that’s why the bible says that the path to Salvation is narrow and that most take the wide, easy path.

Don’t give up and don’t give in.

Thank you. I will try not to. It is hard because I don’t want to cause a riff.

You need to know, however, that if you refuse to contracept and HE contracepts (ie, condom, sterilization) then YOU are not sinning. Periodically attempt to get him to see that contraception is wrong. Perhaps it will take as long as it did St. Monica to pray her son, St. Augustine, into the church… but don’t give up, his soul is worth it!
Yeah, I think he already knows that in his heart, so it’s a matter of getting him to admit it to himself.
(oh and p.s. If he does contracept by using a condom on a day you say is fertile, ask him if HE wants a baby… condoms have a huge failure rate and if you know you are fertile… well, you do the math).

** I know. That’s what’s so weird. If I say something like that, he’d say it’s up to God to decide when we have kids. Can anyone make any sense out of that logic at all?**

 

[Christian4life]

Hooray! I think I finally got it! I just read this book: Natural Birth Control Made Simple. It isn’t a Christian book at all, It even has thank you’s from Planned Parenthood instructors in there! Didn’t like that too much, but I got it from the library, so it’s not like I gave them any money!

Any way it is REALLY REALLY dumbed down explanations of NFP. In fact it is way TOO dumbed down. They keep explaining the same things over and over again. Still, I reccomend it just because I was finally able to understand NFP. I learned the sympto-thermal method. It is SO EASY!! The book even has charts in the back that you can copy and print out. I guess I was kind of doing it wrong - oops! But now I know how to do it and I’m so glad!

The only problem now is to get my husband to agree to the abstinence part. He has no problem not using a condom if I tell him he doesn’t have to, but no hanky panky is a whole different matter! We are going to sit down and have a long talk. I’ll let you know how it goes and thank you all for the advice.

I definately did learn something here. I didn’t know ABC was a mortal sin! I just thought it was wrong, but now I know and will take that a lot more seriously. Thank you!

 

[rayne89]

Christian4life:

Even if I do find one near here there is still a problem of actually getting there and who’s going to watch my baby. I can’t tell my husband’s mom I’m going to an NFP class and could she please watch my baby. She is so so conservative she would probably turn bright red!

QUOTE]

They actually welcome babies that are still of nursing age. There were 2 couples with a baby in our class. All I told my mom was we were taking a class at church about marriage and family.