NFP & Money

[Parysa]

I think that people miss the point. The point is: children are very expensive. Even with the conservative $40,000 in 17 years. You also have to take into account that more and more “kids” are living with their parents well into their 20s. Yes, by then, they’ll (hopefully) be paying most of their own bills. Still, I’ve never seen a husband turn to his wife and, out of the blue, say, “I want to spend $40,000” and the wife say, “Okay.” You talk about how you’re going to afford it, what needs to be rearranged, whether you need to wait or can go ahead and do it. With a child, the parents are the ones fully responsible for caring for that child financially. Note that keyword: responsible. If a couple is not well-situated financially, it is their responsibility to look into whether they are going to be able to be good stewards to the gift they’re thinking about asking from God before they do so. (I’m referring, of course, to planned conception, not the little surprise bonuses God sometimes gives us.)

 

[gardenswithkids]

I think that people miss the point. The point is: children are very expensive…

Children are not just “very expensive”–they are priceless gifts from God.

 

[Parysa]

Children are not just “very expensive”–they are priceless gifts from God.

Yes, they are priceless gifts from God. I don’t get why people (not you specifically, but people in general) think kids can’t be acknowledged as expensive and still be special. The best things in life are not always free.

 

[gardenswithkids]

Yes, they are priceless gifts from God. I don’t get why people (not you specifically, but people in general) think kids can’t be acknowledged as expensive and still be special. The best things in life are not always free.

I don’t deny it costs a significant amount of money to raise children. I don’t deny that the Church permits use of NFP to avoid pregnancy for “just”/“licit”/“grave” reasons and that financial difficulties may be serious enough to justify avoiding pregnancy. However, I like to keep things in their proper perspective. Children are priceless–we can guess at how much we spend on them, but we can not measure their worth in monitary value.

I try to look at this from the eternal perspective of how God views human souls, but I will now speak to the practical. Parenthood usually inspires responsible behaviors-including financial behaviors. The original poster when contemplating the mere *possibility *of having children took a closer look at their debt. Personally, I don’t think we would be any better off financially with fewer children–we’d likely spend the same amount of money on more “stuff” for fewer people. We might even be worse off financially.

In the real estate or stock market, a good investor looks to buy what sells for less than its true value. Children may cost alot of money to raise, but their “value” far exceeds the expense. Children are priceless, but since we speak of money, my children are the best place to “invest” my money.

 

[Parysa]

That I do agree with.

 

[gardenswithkids]

That I do agree with.

 

[birgitta]

carrier,

I know this post is more than a month old, but when I saw it, I had to respond, because I am in a similar predicament. I am in my very late 20s and DH is early 30s. We have student loan and credit card debt totaling over $100000. We have no assets and rent a 2 bedroom apt. We have been married 5 years, both work, and would love to have children, but live paycheck to paycheck. We do not spend frivolously and drive cars over 10 years old. We CANNOT survive on one income. However, we are not behind on any payments, and have not used the credit cards for 3 years. We can’t go bankrupt because student loans are nondischargeable debt. We also keep having medical issues that are raising our debt. You could say we’re in a pickle.

Everyday I think about wanting a child. Constantly I send up prayers and tears to Our Lord about this, because He is our only hope.

I’ll keep you in my prayers as well. And please, everybody, pray for me that I’ll be able to be a mommy someday.

birgitta

 

[Seatuck]

Maybe this group can help you.

veritasfinancialministries.com/index.asp

Seems like your situation is very complicated. With $100,000 worth of education and just making ends meet? Something is seriously wrong. Prayers for your discernment.

 

[GFarmer]

carrier,

I know this post is more than a month old, but when I saw it, I had to respond, because I am in a similar predicament. I am in my very late 20s and DH is early 30s. We have student loan and credit card debt totaling over $100000. We have no assets and rent a 2 bedroom apt. We have been married 5 years, both work, and would love to have children, but live paycheck to paycheck. We do not spend frivolously and drive cars over 10 years old. We CANNOT survive on one income. However, we are not behind on any payments, and have not used the credit cards for 3 years. We can’t go bankrupt because student loans are nondischargeable debt. We also keep having medical issues that are raising our debt. You could say we’re in a pickle.

Everyday I think about wanting a child. Constantly I send up prayers and tears to Our Lord about this, because He is our only hope.

I’ll keep you in my prayers as well. And please, everybody, pray for me that I’ll be able to be a mommy someday.

birgitta

Yikes! The amount of credit that people can get today is staggering!

This response to the OP & you are from someone who thinks that you have the right to plan your family with NFP or ABC however you see fit.

But I would tell you this: Children are a great gift. Have them when you are young. You will never be able to afford them. You will find a way to pay your bills. Sometimes we need the motivation of necessity.

I am 47 years old with 3 children, 1 in college, 1 in high school & 1 in middle school. We are still considering adopting more. Why adopt? As an adoptee I feel the need to give back to someone what was given to me.

Fertility as many are finding wanes with age, by waiting too long you may lose your chance and find yourself without.

Life is not without risk. Take a chance.

Best wishes!

 

[hasikelee]

One of the big problems in the United States today is young people in debt, largly due to paying off student loans. Graduate degrees are expensive. Ask any new doctor, lawyer or other professional what the major bulk of his or her debts are after graduation and they would tell you paying off student loans. Good graduate schools can cost up to $1200 a credit, yes a credit! Taking only two courses a semester, with fees and books and other expenses you can be looking at $8-10,000 a semester.

Over here it is reaching 1500 a credit hour, and that’s for undergrad, without room and board.

I feel very sad for any student who chose an expensive school and pays full price, putting it all on student loans.

 

[mom2four]

Hello, I am 32 and my husband is 33 we have 4 little ones on earth and 1 with Jesus, they range in ages from 7yo to 7mo old We have been married 9 years this May. We started out poor. My husband delivered pizza for the first 3years of our married life. We still live paycheck to paycheck and my husband now makes 18$ an hour for the phone company. I stay home w/kids and am homeschooling. I had 2 difficult pregnancies and was told by family and friends that my husband should get a Vas. Of course he did not. We were using NFP to avoid (and God gifted is with Charlie right after my husband lost his job) But He knows what he is doing and we can’t imagine life with out our 2yo spitfire) Ecological breastfeeding worked quite well to space our children too. We were also using NFP to avoid after I lost James through miscarriage. And God gave us Maximilian Kolbe 2month later (I love his name) . I know this is a ramble…But my point is we sure don’t have nice things, money is very tight. We have large debt but we still manage. We are grateful everyday for our children and wouldn’t trade them for anything! GOD knows what he is doing!! And just another thought…NFP leaves the door wide open for God to bless you with a child no matter how studious you are with following the NFP practice. If you are using NFP your heart should be “open” to children. If this is the case, then you will be at peace when God gives you the gift a little soul to honor God in this world and be happy with Him in the next. PRAY and open your heart to Gods will. Money is just money…We have a roof over our heads and food on the table. We have 1 car and buy most things used. IT IS A STRUGGLE…But oh so worth it! I can honestly say that we really couldn’t “afford” kids at any given time in our marriage. But we managed and are so grateful for the gift of our little ones.