NFP Pregnancy Prevention Survey:

[SwizzleStick]

I was really just joking about the honeymoon thing. It’s just, DANG. Looks like sex is going to require alot of homework. -- Is my wife going to appreciate playing doctor every day? --

Even if you were just joking about the honeymoon, below is a thread that I recently participated in. Within it, I placed several links to other threads on CAF. Perhaps the thread below and the other threads within that discussion will be of interest to you, MrZ.

NFP – intimacy on fertile days for newly weds
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=547296

 

[happymommy]

I was really just joking about the honeymoon thing. It’s just, DANG. Looks like sex is going to require alot of homework. -- Is my wife going to appreciate playing doctor every day? --

All she has to do is keep an eye on what her body is doing, not really playing doctor

 

[pentecostbaby]

I was really just joking about the honeymoon thing. It’s just, DANG. Looks like sex is going to require alot of homework. -- Is my wife going to appreciate playing doctor every day? --

Honestly, I think learning NFP is a human rights issue . It’s just knowing how your body works, and working with it. Yeah, it looks like a lot. But it’s really not bad at all. I always know when I’m fertile. I can tell you what day I ovulate. It doesn’t make stuff less romantic or anything.

And both our children were planned - our son 16 months ago, and this one is now due in November. I knew what day ‘it’ happened , so we know exactly what our due dates are.

 

[MrZetterlund]

I was really just joking about the honeymoon thing. It’s just, DANG. Looks like sex is going to require alot of homework. -- Is my wife going to appreciate playing doctor every day? --

All she has to do is keep an eye on what her body is doing, not really playing doctor

Honestly, I think learning NFP is a human rights issue . It’s just knowing how your body works, and working with it. Yeah, it looks like a lot. But it’s really not bad at all. I always know when I’m fertile. I can tell you what day I ovulate. It doesn’t make stuff less romantic or anything.

And both our children were planned - our son 16 months ago, and this one is now due in November. I knew what day ‘it’ happened , so we know exactly what our due dates are.

Wow, these comments are really encouraging! It may have been the details of the matter that made me afraid that NFP demanded too much of the female. You see, I’m not a big fan of the pill because I sort of seen it as too demanding to take a pill every day around the same time. But if NFP isn’t as overwhelming as the information makes it seem, then it seems to be very effective for the female to become inclined to her body’s functions and educative as well. So much so, that it becomes secondary nature. Those are good aspects.

Even if you were just joking about the honeymoon, below is a thread that I recently participated in. Within it, I placed several links to other threads on CAF. Perhaps the thread below and the other threads within that discussion will be of interest to you, MrZ.

NFP – intimacy on fertile days for newly weds
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=547296

Thank you, that’s very considerate.

This is just a simple question… Small one, really…

How often do NFP couples get to… You know, wanka-wanka?

Hm, I had one person vote, “I Practice NFP, and it Doesn’t Work.”
Wish I knew more about that.

 

[StJudePray4Me]

IMO, How well NFP works to prevent pregnancy relies quite a bit on the individual couple, and how willing they are to abstain on those days that might not be safe.

 

[Rach620]

There are much better, more scientific, surveys that have been done on the effectiveness of NFP. Typically the effectiveness rate is similar to methods of artificial contraception, though that sometimes decreases when “user error” is taken into account.

NFP works. We used it to avoid pregnancy, and we used it to achieve pregnancy. Its effectiveness relies totally on the couple–on their commitment to making observations AND on their commitment to acting in accord with their intentions based on the observations.

It does require some commitment on the part of the woman to making observations. But that doesn’t even come close to “playing doctor every day”. As others have said, it’s a matter of understanding how one’s own body works. It’s absurd how little most women know about how their fertility cycle works, even though its signs are readily observed and SO essential to an understanding of overall health. Compared to the alternative–taking a pill, getting a shot, having tubes tied, etc.–NFP is not only easier, but does much less violence to a woman’s health.

NFP requires communication. It’s not a woman’s responsibility to tell her husband when she’s “off-limits”; it’s something that should be worked into your daily life. You need to be able to talk to your wife about her observations: about menstruation, changes in cervical mucus, and changes in cervical position (if your method uses that sign). If you’re not able to frankly, honestly, and maturely talk about these things with your wife–with whom you are to become one flesh–then frankly you are not ready to get married.

There are plenty of threads here on CAF about how often couples using NFP to avoid pregnancy have sex. It’s different for everyone. You will not be able to have spontaneous sex whenever you want if you are using NFP to avoid, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you will have less sex. You may have to abstain some times that you really wouldn’t want to–even on your wedding night or honeymoon–but that doesn’t mean you won’t be able to “make up for it” later.

I do hope you are not using this thread to help make your decision about whether you will use NFP or artificial birth control in your marriage. For a Catholic, there really is no option here, because contraception is out of the question. If you are truly unable to support a child right now and don’t think NFP is “doable” or reliable enough for you, then you should reconsider your call to marriage at this time.

It’s possible to be a happily married, “sexually satisfied,” NFP-using Catholic. It takes trust and commitment. Learn a method, talk to your fiance, and don’t worry about it. You will figure it out, and God will provide.

 

[twoangels]

You know you’re right. God wouldn’t allow me to have more children than I can support or afford. That’s why He’s blessed us with being created in His likeness, to having the capability of understanding that my actions have consequences. I have the reasonability to understand that now is NOT the best time to have children. Should I put God to the test? I think not. I can’t expect Him to rescue from every mountain I cast myself off of. This is in MY control, and God expects me to have enough reasonability to do the right thing. I’m not worried about materialistic things, I litterally cannot support a child right now. Child protective services would snatch them right up.

Trust God and allow Him to lead the direction your life. My husband and I used NFP for the first month, but circumstances made NFP an extra complication. We prayed about it and decided to be open to life though it was a major risk. We certainly did not feel ready for a baby. There was a lot of instability. Once we used our fertile period, we became pregnant right away and now have a beautiful 2 month old. The entire pregnancy was one of not knowing what the future would bring and fearing that our nest egg would disappear. Something temporary opportunity was constantly being brought to us to bring us just a few steps forward till eventually just as of last week we are finally in an entirely secure and great situation. Meanwhile our nest egg remained totally entacted. The hardest part was the worrying.

I’m not saying at all that we should put God to the test. I’m just saying don’t let fear keep you from following the path God is directing you on. God provides.

 

[twoangels]

I did not say avoid any responsibilty. If you think you honestly can not support a kid then abstain. Otherwise if you choose not to abstain know that God is not going to allow you more then you can handle and if you have a kid God will make sure they you are able to care for it, yeah it mite not be easy, it mite be tough, you might have to spend less money on yourself.

Anyway the whole point of NFP being allowed is because it is still open to life. This person it seems is setting up this poll to see how reliable NFP is at preventing life. It seems to me but i may be wrong is that this person is wanting to use NFP because they are not open to life. It looks like they want to make sure that they is a strong chance that they wont concieve first before using it. But i dont know so again i may be wrong

Certainly we are called to be open to life and to trust God. However, it is completely legitimate to question whether the method works to prevent pregnancy. If it doesn’t, than why not have sex whenever you want when married if its not actually going to make a difference?

 

[RedSoxWife]

You know you’re right. God wouldn’t allow me to have more children than I can support or afford. That’s why He’s blessed us with being created in His likeness, to having the capability of understanding that my actions have consequences. I have the reasonability to understand that now is NOT the best time to have children. Should I put God to the test? I think not. I can’t expect Him to rescue from every mountain I cast myself off of. This is in MY control, and God expects me to have enough reasonability to do the right thing. I’m not worried about materialistic things, I litterally cannot support a child right now. Child protective services would snatch them right up.

If you really seriously think that it would be so damaging to a child to be born to the situation that you are in that “child protective services would snatch them right up” than I would gently suggest you take a good hard look at whether or not you really should be getting married at this point and having relations at all.

We married when we were still rather poor (although now that I think about it, we were making twice what we are now… with two little ones… I guess we’d now be considered “very poor” at less than half the poverty level…) but we knew that if a baby came along we would do what we had to do to take care of it. I’ve since realized how well we can actually live on very little.

What it basically comes down to is this: if you are having sex there’s a chance that a baby is going to result. If there’s no way you can care for a child you shouldn’t be having sex.

It’s a hard fact, but it’s better than ending up in a bad situation and considering aborting your own child…

 

[cecilia97]

Honestly, I think learning NFP is a human rights issue . It’s just knowing how your body works, and working with it. Yeah, it looks like a lot. But it’s really not bad at all. I always know when I’m fertile. I can tell you what day I ovulate. It doesn’t make stuff less romantic or anything.

And both our children were planned - our son 16 months ago, and this one is now due in November. I knew what day ‘it’ happened , so we know exactly what our due dates are.

Amen! I do not practice NFP (I’m single and celibate and haven’t felt the need to learn it), but I understand that it’s the only way of spacing children that actually encourages communication between spouses, instead of putting artificial barriers between spouses.

My best friend practices NFP and has four beautiful children. All her children were “planned”. She has never had a so-called “unplanned” pregnancy. I suspect she and her hubby have an active sex life. I know they are affectionate and keep the romance alive as much as married couples can (I think romance is a fiction for single people, anyway).

When my friend and her husband felt that God was calling them to a fourth child, she conceived the EXACT MONTH they tried for. She was able to go to the doctor and tell him what day she conceived. Show me any other method that has that kind of precision.

My friend can go to the OBGYN and tell him things about conception and pregnancy and her cycle that he doesn’t even know.

 

[WiscConvert]

According to Planned Parenthood, NFP when used correctly is statistically just as effective as using condoms. The problem for a lot of people is the learning curve is significantly steeper than it is for artificial methods.

 

[SwizzleStick]

…This is just a simple question… Small one, really…

How often do NFP couples get to… You know, wanka-wanka?

Hm, I had one person vote, “I Practice NFP, and it Doesn’t Work.”
Wish I knew more about that.

I voted “I practice NFP, and it does work” (it would have been more accurate to vote “We practice NFP, and it does work” since hubby and I practice NFP together, but that was not a choice). As to your question, see below. (I can’t get the table to come over properly, but one can still read the data.)

"…Myth #5: Couples who use NFP have less sex than the average American.

REALITY: Most people most of the time are not engaged in sexual activity (see table). If couples who practice NFP were to engage in intercourse on all the days when abstinence is not required for spacing births, they would be doing so at a rate almost twice the national average!

Average monthly coital frequency among both married and unmarried couples in the United States:

Age: Average frequency:

18-24 8
25-34 9
35-44 8
44-55 7
55-67 5

If wishing to avoid pregnancy, a couple practicing NFP is usually advised to abstain from intercourse and genital contact during the wife’s fertile time. NFP couples can make love no less frequently in each cycle than other couples. "…

Above excerpted from: usccb.org/prolife/issues/nfp/myths.shtml

 

[purplesunshine]

According to Planned Parenthood, NFP when used correctly is statistically just as effective as using condoms. The problem for a lot of people is the learning curve is significantly steeper than it is for artificial methods.

I get really irratated when people act as if artificla birth control/condoms are perfect pregnancy prevention methods and a solution to NFP’s “failures”. I am an ABC/condom baby. Two of my friends in college were ALSO, and one friends little sister. (And one of those was an implant ABC!!!)

I had other “just” ABC and “just” condom baby…who grew up to be my friends.

Point being. If two people engage in an act, God wants a kid He’s gonna make a kid and nothings gonna stop it.

 

[SwizzleStick]

Here is the data from my post #31 above, but it is easier to read.

Age 18-24 - Average frequency - 8
Age 25-34 - Average frequency - 9
Age 35-44 - Average frequency - 8
Age 44-55 - Average frequency - 7
Age 55-67 - Average frequency - 5

 

[twoangels]

Here is the data from my post #31 above, but it is easier to read.

Age 18-24 - Average frequency - 8
Age 25-34 - Average frequency - 9
Age 35-44 - Average frequency - 8
Age 44-55 - Average frequency - 7
Age 55-67 - Average frequency - 5

The hard thing about NFP is not that you get to have sex less but that it forces the couple to be less spontaneous or not spontaneous at all with their sex lives.

 

[agapewolf]

The hard thing about NFP is not that you get to have sex less but that it forces the couple to be less spontaneous or not spontaneous at all with their sex lives.

Not true. As West puts it… he can go be “spontaneous” on the piano never having had a lesson and just bang on it, or someone who has trained and practiced for years can be spontaneous and play beautiful music.

3/4 of the month are infertile,…so when avoiding pregnancy, you have 3/4 of the month to be spontaneous.

 

[SwizzleStick]

The hard thing about NFP is not that you get to have sex less but that it forces the couple to be less spontaneous or not spontaneous at all with their sex lives.

Well, it depends on how you look at it. One can be as spontaneous as one likes during “Go” days. Of course, folks with children can only be as spontaneous as the kids and their schedules will allow too.

 

[SwizzleStick]

Not true. As West puts it… he can go be “spontaneous” on the piano never having had a lesson and just bang on it, or someone who has trained and practiced for years can be spontaneous and play beautiful music.

3/4 of the month are infertile,…so when avoiding pregnancy, you have 3/4 of the month to be spontaneous.

Exactly.

 

[WiscConvert]

I get really irratated when people act as if artificla birth control/condoms are perfect pregnancy prevention methods and a solution to NFP’s “failures”. I am an ABC/condom baby. Two of my friends in college were ALSO, and one friends little sister. (And one of those was an implant ABC!!!)

I had other “just” ABC and “just” condom baby…who grew up to be my friends.

Point being. If two people engage in an act, God wants a kid He’s gonna make a kid and nothings gonna stop it.

Well yes – but this is equally true of NFP.

 

[micahmike]

The hard thing about NFP is not that you get to have sex less but that it forces the couple to be less spontaneous or not spontaneous at all with their sex lives.

Absolutely correct. Whe not using NFP to avoid, you can have sex on as many days as there are in the month. When using NFP, your potention go days are less, between 5 and 20 less depending who you talk to. On top of that you have the fact that many women are less interested in sex when they are not at or near their fertile times.

I had to lol at this: “…Myth #5: Couples who use NFP have less sex than the average American.” and then goes on to do nothing to dispell that “myth”. If it isn’t true, show me such by telling me how often the average NFP-er has sex vs. the average contracepting couple. This seems particularily dishonest to me.