NFP-the positive side

[Teakafrog]

The positive side for me is that my husband can stand to live with me! I was a nutjob when I was on the pill (before I converted) --caused severe depression, I was angry, physically ill all the time, plus many many other symptoms, like acne, weight gain, fatigue. Now I’m much easier to be around, or so says my hubby.
Also, we used it to GET pregnant. We use Creighton method, so my nurse practitioner that taught us the method was able to diagnose my PCOS and get me on medication to control the symptoms and I finally ovulated!
Right now we are using it to avoid, since I just had a baby after a very rough pregnancy, my body needs time to heal. After that, we will just leave it up to Him. I do agree that NFP can be used as birth control, but it does take away all the artificial things man can put into it, like hormones or barriers. That is why I’m going to drop it altogether in a few months, once I get the OK from my Dr.

 

[johntkd]

Nope, nope, nope: it’s not birth control. I totally disagree: it’s different from ABC. The difference? No sex act. No act, no remote possibility of a baby. You could say,” Well you choose not to have sex, and that blocks a baby." Yes, but so could a single person who decides not to have sex. Are they being selfish? No, because they have serious reasons to abstain: it would be wrong for them to have sex. You could say the same thing about a husband and wife who need to postpone a pregnancy for serious reasons: it would be wrong. If you follow that “ABC = NFP” road to it’s logical conclusion, then sex is only for procreation and nothing else.

Back when my dear husband and I used ABC, I began to think about all the babies we were not having because of a barrier. We were literally blocking them from existence. I no longer feel that way if we are abstaining: because there is no seed spilled. The seed is actually sacred, so is the act–at least I think it is.
Pax Christi,
Ann

I agree to the no sex no baby term but ask yourself this if it was totally impossible for you to become pregnant BUT you still had same fertility signs would you then still abstain? of course you wouldnt so again its back to “birth control”
as far as spilled seed goes, you could say the same thing about a womans monthly if she has it its a “spilled egg” meant to become something. so that theory dont hold water with me its extremely old when Man actually thought a “mans seed” was a baby that needed to be put inside the woman to develope.
Back when NFP wouldnt have even been possible cause they had no clue how fertility worked.
so still back to square one. and in the case of abstinence in NFP abstinence is the barrier now and still not allowing “all those babies” same as with NFP.
too many people have no clue how many of the ABC methods work, they get misinformation from forums such as these and pass it on making it less factual
admittedly some are “barrier” …Although some such as most hormone based simply fool the womans body into believeing it is pregnant already thus not releasing an egg,
but many believe it causes abortions,(cant find any actual scientific proof that happens but i assume it is also possible),
yes i do know they have abortion causing pills, not considering those in these posts…

anyways I dont see a mans seed as any more sacred than a womans egg, they are one in the same, one no good without the other. only man has made one “more important” than the other and thats not driven from fact its driven from sexism…or wanting to be the “better sex”, the superior sex so to speak,

The “act” is always sacred and something to cherish as well, making it “cheap” by planning around “data” as someone called it, not wanting a baby or possibility of a baby makes it not something to cherish, not something complete and not something to be sacred simply makes it a selfish act of relief…
there are exceptions to this obviously. one in case i can recall is where health is in jeopardy.

lucky my opinion counts for nothing huh. lol

 

[Jennifer_J]

Ummm, NFP is birth control–it regulates birth. The Church’s teaching is against CONTRACEPTION–those methods that seperate the unitive and procreative aspects of the marital act. The Church is not against regulating births. Before NFP, there was only total abstenance to prevent pregnancy. NFP (periodic abstenance) is the alternative to total abstenance, not to CONTRACEPTION. It should not be the default position of marriage to use NFP, it should only be used with serious reasons and with much prayer and discernment on the part of the married couple.

We use NFP at times to space children, though I do chart all the time, just for the medical info and accurate due dates We discern each month whether it’s time for a new baby. We often say yes, apparently, since I’m pregnant with #6

Hope that helps clarify terms…
Jennifer

 

[johntkd]

unitive and procreative aspects of the marital act.

Jennifer

excellent post Jennifer… I actually grasped a few key words that suddenly sunk in to my mind with ASPECTS being the one true word making the difference.
by that one word it makes a little more sense about the ABC methods at least…
John

 

[Catherine_W]

Hi so this may be a little off topic, but I was wondering about the people who struggle a lot with NFP… do you think the struggle would be so much if you had been practicing NFP from the start of your marriage? Does the struggle result from the change from being used to ABC and not having to abstain to abstaining with NFP? Do people who begin their marriage with NFP have as many struggles (with abstaining) ? I guess looking at it from being engaged (where we have to wait for marriage) even 1 week out of the month (when married and using NFP) seems wonderful. But maybe once I actually am married I will realize the struggle that so many people talk about.

 

[Jacafamala]

QUOTE,johntkdI agree to the no sex no baby term but ask yourself this if it was totally impossible for you to become pregnant BUT you still had same fertility signs would you then still abstain? of course you wouldnt so again its back to “birth control”

It’s all about the deed. The deed makes the baby.

so still back to square one. and in the case of abstinence in NFP abstinence is the barrier now and still not allowing “all those babies” same as with NFP.

That’s true for unmarried people as well. The men have seed not spilled and the women have eggs not being fertilized. So, let me ask you this: if I follow that line of logic, then why aren’t the single people of the world getting married and having as many babies as possible? They have sperm—or eggs; is it wrong or selfish that they remain single? My answer: maybe sometimes it’s wrong or selfish, but certainly not always. Perhaps God isn’t calling them to this particular vocation right now. The same is true for married couples. They shouldn’t be selfish, but they also need to be good stewards and discern if the time is right for a baby.

too many people have no clue how many of the ABC methods work, they get misinformation from forums such as these and pass it on making it less factual
admittedly some are “barrier” …Although some such as most hormone based simply fool the womans body into believeing it is pregnant already thus not releasing an egg,
but many believe it causes abortions,(cant find any actual scientific proof that happens but i assume it is also possible),
yes i do know they have abortion causing pills, not considering those in these posts…

Yeah, some pills and the IUD cause abortions. The way they world is to make the uterine lining “inhospitable” to the fertilized egg.

anyways I dont see a mans seed as any more sacred than a womans egg, they are one in the same, one no good without the other. only man has made one “more important” than the other and thats not driven from fact its driven from sexism…or wanting to be the “better sex”, the superior sex so to speak,

It’s the spilling of the seed that’s sacred. And it is sacred as it is a part of the sex act.

The “act” is always sacred and something to cherish as well, making it “cheap” by planning around “data” as someone called it, not wanting a baby or possibility of a baby makes it not something to cherish, not something complete and not something to be sacred simply makes it a selfish act of relief…
there are exceptions to this obviously. one in case i can recall is where health is in jeopardy.

God gave us discernment, if we discern wisely we are not being selfish but good stewards.

lucky my opinion counts for nothing huh. lol

Your opinion counts or I wouldn’t waste my time here.
Pax Christi,
Ann

 

[Jacafamala]

Ummm, NFP is birth control–it regulates birth. The Church’s teaching is against CONTRACEPTION–those methods that seperate the unitive and procreative aspects of the marital act. The Church is not against regulating births. Before NFP, there was only total abstenance to prevent pregnancy. NFP (periodic abstenance) is the alternative to total abstenance, not to CONTRACEPTION. It should not be the default position of marriage to use NFP, it should only be used with serious reasons and with much prayer and discernment on the part of the married couple.

We use NFP at times to space children, though I do chart all the time, just for the medical info and accurate due dates We discern each month whether it’s time for a new baby. We often say yes, apparently, since I’m pregnant with #6
Hope that helps clarify terms…
Jennifer

Jennifer: congratulations, you lucky girl!
Pax Christi,
Ann

 

[Jennifer_J]

Jennifer: congratulations, you lucky girl!
Pax Christi,
Ann

Thanks! I needed to hear that today, I think. Not feeling 100%, I think I’m just tired.

God bless,
Jennifer

 

[angiegirl67]

I would actually like to apologize to everyone. I do not mean to bring others down and feel I am only coming across as a complainer. Nor am I looking for sympathy or such. It is very much a faith journey, and I’m searching to see where others are along this mysterious path…

God bless to all.

Searching06,

I have a couple of questions for you? Have you read Christoper West book called Good News about Sex and Marriage? Also are you and your spouse going to Mass each and every Sunday? You might ask what in the world does Mass each and every Sunday have to do with sex. Well, it has a lot to do with it and the grace your receive out of going and spending time in the presence of the Lord during Mass. The Mass can be transforming in body, soul and thoughts. You might also consider going to Adoration and talking with the Lord and giving him your feelings about His church teaching. Also for how long have you been totally waiting for ph3/1?

 

[searching06]

Searching06,

I have a couple of questions for you? Have you read Christoper West book called Good News about Sex and Marriage? Also are you and your spouse going to Mass each and every Sunday? You might ask what in the world does Mass each and every Sunday have to do with sex. Well, it has a lot to do with it and the grace your receive out of going and spending time in the presence of the Lord during Mass. The Mass can be transforming in body, soul and thoughts. You might also consider going to Adoration and talking with the Lord and giving him your feelings about His church teaching. Also for how long have you been totally waiting for ph3/1?

angiegirl67, thank you. I have not gotten the book yet, but will probably order that and several other that have been suggested. We do go to church regularly, and in all honesty, it only hit me this Good Friday what it means to lay my struggles and sins at the foot of the Cross; more so, that it is OK, even this.

As for how long we have been waiting strictly for ph 3/1, it has been several years, close to five, I think.

 

[bree12]

Hi so this may be a little off topic, but I was wondering about the people who struggle a lot with NFP… do you think the struggle would be so much if you had been practicing NFP from the start of your marriage? Does the struggle result from the change from being used to ABC and not having to abstain to abstaining with NFP? Do people who begin their marriage with NFP have as many struggles (with abstaining) ? I guess looking at it from being engaged (where we have to wait for marriage) even 1 week out of the month (when married and using NFP) seems wonderful. But maybe once I actually am married I will realize the struggle that so many people talk about.

Hi, I just wanted to weigh in on this issue. My husband and I dated for 5 years before we got married and abstained from sex during that time period. We knew we were going to use NFP for avoiding pregnancies if we found ourselves in a position to do so. We have been married for almost three years, and we do not find those times when we have to abstain a hardship at all. After five years of waiting, a week or two doesn’t seem all that hard. (I should add as a disclaimer, though, that we have only used NFP to avoid for about 20 months of our marriage, as we having either been trying to get pregnant or been pregnant during the other times.)

 

[kage_ar]

Hi so this may be a little off topic, but I was wondering about the people who struggle a lot with NFP… do you think the struggle would be so much if you had been practicing NFP from the start of your marriage? Does the struggle result from the change from being used to ABC and not having to abstain to abstaining with NFP? Do people who begin their marriage with NFP have as many struggles (with abstaining) ? I guess looking at it from being engaged (where we have to wait for marriage) even 1 week out of the month (when married and using NFP) seems wonderful. But maybe once I actually am married I will realize the struggle that so many people talk about.

IMHO, the struggle is tougher for those who were used to instant gratification - it is not easy to adjust to restraint.

Of course, every marriage will have struggles. If anyone tells you marriage is always easy fluffy bunny hearts and flowers, read Revelations 21:8 to them

NFP is the second best thing that ever happend to our marriage (both converting to the CC was the BEST thing).

Blessings on your marriage!

 

[Jacafamala]

I would actually like to apologize to everyone. I do not mean to bring others down and feel I am only coming across as a complainer. Nor am I looking for sympathy or such. It is very much a faith journey, and I’m searching to see where others are along this mysterious path…

God bless to all.

No, you are not a complainer. Five years is a long time.

I don’t know your situation but could it help to have your wife use a fertility monitor? It helped me quite a lot when my signals got all messed up post partum and I couldn’t use my temps because of being up and down with the baby all night.

I still use it and really find it extremely helpful. Marquette University School of Nursing has the protocol to use with the Clearblue Easy monitor.
marquette.edu/pages/nursing/nfp/index.html

I don’t know if it will help, but I hope it helps.
Pax Christi,
Ann