Nice girls move to the end of the line?

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Gaaaaa stoppit, stoppit! Any man who is not an idiot will like a girl with spunk. :banghead:

Whatevergirl: you sound suspiciously like you are trying to trick us single ppl into trusting God or something like that. :eek: Not sure if I can go that far…
LOL–No tricks up my sleeve. 😃 God is amazing…He is the ultimate matchmaker…trust in Him…for all things, especially finding a suitable spouse. 🙂
 
Nah, not really. 😉 Basically, just a couple of factors expressed in fractions can shoot down a large number to really few, e.g. consider that the right age and sex is nowhere near the great total number of people on earth, consider that Catholics are .17 and out of the .17 about .3 are practicing, consider a couple of psychological factors etc. and you really don’t need to be very creative or picky to be left with like 2000 people out of the whole developed world! (In reality, probably a couple times more as people are willing to settle.)
Not true! ;)*

you are totally over-analysing dating

mystery is interesting, which is why films you already know the ending too are boring.

Same goes for other people, if your interests don’t stretch past video games or the internet, no-one is gonna be intrigued about how you spend your time.

2000 girls in the whole world? stop restricting things before you’ve even tried them - here’s an idea, go out to a museum and walk around looking at the paintings, hundreds of girls who are evidently cultured, and intelligent will walk past you. make a joke about a painting, say ‘hi im chevalier nice to meet you’ and take it from there.

as for all you nice girls - if you don’t flirt with us men, we won’t know you are there, seriously. Take a risk, live a little, bat your eyelids and smile at a guy you like, or you’re gonna stay friend material.
 
This is sort of a sequel to the nice guys finish last thread. I’m not venting or complaining really just going by what I see and lately it does seem that a lot of men would rather get some and put up with being treated badly or used rather then dating a nice girl or person who would treat them better. Defies logic but there you go! Maybe I just know bad examples. Women let themselves be treated badly too…that I’ll never understand but to each his own. What do you think!
To put it simply, guys will put up with just about anything for sex. I’ve seen plenty of friends go through Hell in order to secure their place in Hell, so to speak.

I know plenty of girls who have great values and are looking for committed loving relationships, but the number of guys I know who deserve them is far less. I’m not even sure if I can include myself in that group 😦
 
To all of you quiet women, I am more attracted to shy/ quiet women, as long as they are able to open up after a while.

Also, who cares about blond hair?? For example example, I think Zooey Deschanel has beautiful hair. Why did she have to marry that dork Ben Gibbard???

Edit: I have now come to realize that their marriage is proof that looks don’t matter as much as we all think… as long as you can sell millions of records.
 
Edit: I have now come to realize that their marriage is proof that looks don’t matter as much as we all think… as long as you can sell millions of records.
Too bad I’m not a famous singer. Dang.
 
you are totally over-analysing dating

mystery is interesting, which is why films you already know the ending too are boring.

Same goes for other people, if your interests don’t stretch past video games or the internet, no-one is gonna be intrigued about how you spend your time.

2000 girls in the whole world? stop restricting things before you’ve even tried them - here’s an idea, go out to a museum and walk around looking at the paintings, hundreds of girls who are evidently cultured, and intelligent will walk past you. make a joke about a painting, say ‘hi im chevalier nice to meet you’ and take it from there.

as for all you nice girls - if you don’t flirt with us men, we won’t know you are there, seriously. Take a risk, live a little, bat your eyelids and smile at a guy you like, or you’re gonna stay friend material.
Magic, I appreciate your effort and you make a lot of good points, but I was speaking more in general terms of probability of finding a good match, rather than talking about my own life and I don’t have a problem approaching women, as you seem to suggest. In fact, as far as I go, personally, I’m good at it (the last two law firms I worked for would always pick me to send against the ladies of the court and particularly in the last one, folks would never stop joking about it), my problem if we really must go there lies elsewhere (precisely on the line from initial conquest to initial commitment or a later transition of similar nature). Let’s now move on to the merits, though!

So, for startes, the “2000”. As for the tiny figure, yup, that’s what you get when you consider the probability of multiple conditions occurring jointly, e.g. scoring a six on a dice throw presents a 1/6 chance, but two sixes on two throws is 1/36 already, add another throw with a specific number you want. Using several such factors, you can bring down the impressive number of 1.2 billion people in the developed world (i.e. where you have any reasonable chance of at least meeting someone by flying there if you somehow meet by accident or make friends by Internet) in no time. Say, take the 1.2 billion, cut in half for the right sex, take the 20% or other that are in the right age range for you, we’re in 120 million range. Say, we want Catholic, that’s .17, so we’re down to what? 20.5 million. Suppose you’re attracted to 1 in 5 physically, well, that’s 4 million with small change (numbers being hazy now, it’s the range we want look at). How many people you meet become friends, that is, what kind of potential for becoming friends with a random person is there? That’s another fraction to multiply the product by (and it’s certainly another fraction).

Throw in some demographics for whatever is relevant to you (e.g. the .17 Catholic rate is nominal only, practicing is like what? .3 out of the .17?). And let’s not forget that in some age categories, most people are already married and if not, then committed to someone else and still unavailable. Obviously, the “2000” is totally arbitrary and so on, but a several dozen thousand to a dozen or so thousand matches range for a person in the whole developed world is realistic. Closer figures will depend on how far a person is willing to settle, how certain desired factors interrelate (e.g. some may occur together instead of being independent), what factors the rough calculation didn’t make room for. In the end, the 20-30-ish eligible single range has nothing to do with an impression that would come from how many people there are on earth.

It’s a bit like with a dating website, which is similar to a traditional match-making service, just operated electronically. You have lots of profiles to look at, but when you start ticking criteria for a search, then you may oops find that there’s like 1 match or 2 in your broad geographical area–from the profiles you can access, obviously, but in real life you don’t meet everybody, either, and in some cases even none. I remember hitting 0 from a combination of sex, age (mine +/- a couple of years), height (danceable), religion (Catholic), political preference.

Then, if you consider that 60% of married women use contraception (prb.org/pdf08/08WPDS_Eng.pdf), then now let’s think about single women not wanting to use contraception when married, not insisting on sex before marriage, not insisting on behaviours that cross the line (i.e. when you don’t have to compromise your conscience to keep dating). Ooooops. :o (For the record, I doubt it’s different with men when being considered from a single Catholic girl’s perspective.)

And therefore, let me present you a vision of what happens when you, as in your example, fish in a museum or art gallery or some other venue of art or learning (which is not a technical problem in my case–I have successfully solicited phone numbers on public transport in my life, not to mention courts, university etc.). You meet a wonderful lady (after many, many hours of fishing), who is pro-choice, pro-gay-rights, liberal on morality, expects sex before marriage, doesn’t want to “force” her children to live the Catholic life even if she will put up with other things to be with you (the list is just a bunch of examples, there’s more and more of it). Not to mention she might not know if she will ever want to have children (making you wonder if marriage would even be valid).
 
(continued from the last post)

Missionary dating has been done since 5th century or earlier, but is that an ordinary way of doing things? Chances are it is basically a challenge or some form of task for this current late 20-ish generation of us and I certainly am willing to do my part (instilling in a woman an idea of how a woman should be treated and what she *can *expect is a small victory even if she doesn’t pick you in the end), but it’s kinda like charging machine guns with cavalry. It *can *be done but it doesn’t make you a particularly amicable fella.

Hope this sheds some light on the poor range estimate.

(now a different issue)

As for mystery, well, I would prefer to avoid this part of discussion on personal grounds, but then we’re already here, so let’s take it on the merits. For starters, you make a good point with the book example, but on the other hand, unlike with books, in life and romance situations, you generally know where it will end because it kinda naturally happens that way and the purpose of romance in general is rather clear (finding out if it’s the/a right person for spending a life with). In this scenario going for the unpredictable would be rather seriously against right reason and sound mind and one’s own good. It would be like turning down a good job because you already know you’ll get it and going to apply for the 3rd or 4th best job because there’s some chance of not getting it or some other randomness in it, which results in some thrill of mystery. For this reason, I don’t like the oft-mentioned mystery factor, that is, beyond some natural inclination that we want the person to be interesting after all, which is perfectly normal. On the other hand, playing with danger, another common temptation, ends up in getting hurt the same way as playing with fire leads to burning one’s fingers. I’ve seen this in women with very generous IQs, deep personalities and advanced emotional lives. In fact, at least three of my dear friends who got hurt badly after falling for the bad boy lure in of its aspects… Possibly half of the reason why I dislike this thing so much, as it has hurt my friends (the other half being what I wrote before).
 
Hey Country Singer, do you ever play in bars? If I lived in Seattle I would jam with you!
 
And therefore, let me present you a vision of what happens when you, as in your example, fish in a museum or art gallery or some other venue of art or learning (which is not a technical problem in my case–I have successfully solicited phone numbers on public transport in my life, not to mention courts, university etc.). You meet a wonderful lady (after many, many hours of fishing), who is pro-choice, pro-gay-rights, liberal on morality, expects sex before marriage, doesn’t want to “force” her children to live the Catholic life even if she will put up with other things to be with you (the list is just a bunch of examples, there’s more and more of it). Not to mention she might not know if she will ever want to have children (making you wonder if marriage would even be valid).
This is pretty much the norm today. 😦 That’s why the single life isn’t all that bad.
 
This is one of the things I’ve noticed about girls that really confuses me… most of them seem to have picked up the idea that men prefer blondes, but the reality is that the vast majority of men don’t even care about hair color at all. I have no idea where this urban myth first sprang up but the only time I hear it come up is when I overhear women talking amongst themselves “oh, if only I was blond like her!.. etc…”, but it’s really nothing more than a projection. In real life men almost never bring it up themselves when talking about women they’re attracted to, and the few times they do it’s understood just to be an arbitrary personal preference and it’s just as likely to be a preference for different hair colors at it might happen to be for blondes.
This myth as you’ve called it, comes from the same place as “all attractive women have to be tall, thin, and dumb” Otherwise known “all attractive women have to look like 12yr. old boys with 4th grade educations”. These super models don’t look feminine, they’re thin yes, but as a result most of them don’t have boobs lol! How is that feminine? Some men like chicks that are spacey because it’s easier to get some from them. The media is the main source for propaganda about what is hot and what is not. Until this is changed or if its changed, its still not fair to the rest of us.
 
This myth as you’ve called it, comes from the same place as “all attractive women have to be tall, thin, and dumb” Otherwise known “all attractive women have to look like 12yr. old boys with 4th grade educations”. These super models don’t look feminine, they’re thin yes, but as a result most of them don’t have boobs lol! How is that feminine? Some men like chicks that are spacey because it’s easier to get some from them. The media is the main source for propaganda about what is hot and what is not. Until this is changed or if its changed, its still not fair to the rest of us.
How dare you insult 4th graders! 😛 Just kidding.
 
lulz… but you get what I mean, right?
Of course, I was being silly. Too much coffee! 😃 But from my observations of “America’s Next Top Model”, I would estimate the average model IQ to be 3. 😃 Warning: not scientific at all, results might be tainted by espresso and the observer’s love of the number 3.
 
Of course, I was being silly. Too much coffee! 😃 But from my observations of “America’s Next Top Model”, I would estimate the average model IQ to be 3. 😃 Warning: not scientific at all, results might be tainted by espresso and the observer’s love of the number 3.
:yup:… how about if it is verified by several women with a lot of coffee :bounce:and love of the number three…😉
 
:yup:… how about if it is verified by several women with a lot of coffee :bounce:and love of the number three…😉
Since it has been verified and tested by several peers in a controlled environment, the results can be published. 😃 Flashbacks to when I was a biology major. Whoa. 😃
 
Since it has been verified and tested by several peers in a controlled environment, the results can be published. 😃 Flashbacks to when I was a biology major. Whoa. 😃
Haha…technically to have “several” you must have at least 3 in agreement, so I will gladly oblige.

Kib: Yes, Zooey has gorgeous hair; it also probably helps that she has gorgeous eyes and the rest of her is gorgeous, too. :cool: Kk, I gotta stop picking on you, and go exercise or somethin’.
 
This myth as you’ve called it, comes from the same place as “all attractive women have to be tall, thin, and dumb” Otherwise known “all attractive women have to look like 12yr. old boys with 4th grade educations”. These super models don’t look feminine, they’re thin yes, but as a result most of them don’t have boobs lol! How is that feminine? Some men like chicks that are spacey because it’s easier to get some from them. The media is the main source for propaganda about what is hot and what is not. Until this is changed or if its changed, its still not fair to the rest of us.
umm… okay. :confused:

I’m not sure where all that suddenly came from, but in any case the point is the “men prefer blondes” thing is false.
 
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