Nice girls move to the end of the line?

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Yes, I could explain. People should consider how certain things will make others feel (now and later), not only how they will make them feel. This includes having fun. I don’t see much value in carefree attitudes, either.

If you take flirting as an example, flirting with someone conveys the message: “you are eligible”, nothing more but nothing less, either. When that part is false, well, it’s false (false openness). Am I the only person that thinks it’s important not to send mixed signals?
 
chevalier said:
Yes, I could explain. People should consider how certain things will make others feel (now and later), not only how they will make them feel. This includes having fun. I don’t see much value in carefree attitudes, either.

If you take flirting as an example, flirting with someone conveys the message: “you are eligible”, nothing more but nothing less, either. When that part is false, well, it’s false (false openness). Am I the only person that thinks it’s important not to send mixed signals?
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No, I agree there. Someone sending you mixed feelings is a bad thing to do. But, part of dating is having fun, and getting to know someone…I think we might have different opinions about the definition of carefree. I am not saying to ‘‘not care,’’ but what I am saying is to not build a situation up in one’s mind, that is based more on fantasy than reality. If a girl really likes a guy after a few dates…it will be obvious. She will take calls, return them relatively promptly, and will show enthusiasm when speaking to him again and again. It is that simple. If the girl flirts and shows positive energy on a date towards a guy, but after two or three dates, he never hears from her again…perhaps, she wasn’t ready…perhaps, she didn’t like him…perhaps, she feared commitment. It’s hard to say, but I will say that if a girl likes a guy…and she is ready for something more than idle chit chat on a date…then, she will show that.

Dating is not an exact science, at all. Two people…come together…sometimes, from different cultures…different schools of thought…different backgrounds, and upbringings…and the date will bring them together–in hopes of a possible connection. That is all that dating is and ever will be. Some can find a connection after one date, some after years of dating…but, dating is nothing more or less than an opportunity to see if two people would be good together…for marriage. If someone sends mixed signals, consider it a blessing that you find out sooner than later, is my bit of encouragement. :o*
 
Origonal post by: Jay82
I agree. I need more than subtle hints to realize a girl is interested. It is weird, but I can read body language reasonably well when I observe two other people, but when it comes to me and someone else I don’t pick up on any subtle nonverbal cues. I’ve been in situations where I would talk to a girl I just met, a friend of a friend, etc and one of my females friends would later ask, so who was that girl you were talking to, she was totally into you. And I would basically have no clue.
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In order to help make a girl feel at ease, try to be funny. Even if it means to make a fool of yourself, it makes girls feel less self conscious and/or nervous. It really depends on the person, sometimes it’s hard to tell what someone thinks. I’ve had friends I consider brothers turn clingy and it’s uncomfortable in the least. People don’t make up their minds on the spot. They could hate you, then like you the next day or vice versa. It’s incredibly difficult, there’s no way to get around it.
 
whatevergirl said:
Just curious–why does every date have to ‘‘mean’’ something? Some women just like to have a nice dinner out with someone…a few laughs…a movie…over time…it* might ***lead to something. But, dating in general can be more fun than not, if you don’t view it through such serious lenses every time. I am not saying to become a serial dater…but, live a little…and have fun. Not every date needs to be the end all be all…don’t over extend yourself either until you know someone better. It is not a woman’s fault, if by the second or third date, a man has delusions of grandeur…when she isn’t there yet, just because the sheer timeframe hasn’t been long enough.

No? Yes?
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Can boys jump into this conversation?

Oh, I wish every date didn’t have to mean something! Thank you for saying this Whatevergirl!

Several women I’ve dated lately have had this problem-One date does NOT mean we are going to get matching tattoos and your going to meet all my friends, find out my deepest, darkest secrets, etc. Just relax. I know your sister has two lovely kids-I’m eager to meet them-but not on the first date!

Relax, get to know the other person, laugh and have fun! Worry about wanting to meet my mother until a bit later. (seriously, on the third date she wanted to meet my mother and father…wonderful people, I love them dearly…but no a bit early)
 
Rascalking said:
Can boys jump into this conversation?

Oh, I wish every date didn’t have to mean something! Thank you for saying this Whatevergirl!

Several women I’ve dated lately have had this problem-One date does NOT mean we are going to get matching tattoos and your going to meet all my friends, find out my deepest, darkest secrets, etc. Just relax. I know your sister has two lovely kids-I’m eager to meet them-but not on the first date!

Relax, get to know the other person, laugh and have fun! Worry about wanting to meet my mother until a bit later. (seriously, on the third date she wanted to meet my mother and father…wonderful people, I love them dearly…but no a bit early)
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*matching tattoos :rotfl: *
 
*Thing is, in all seriousness, if someone, girl or guy, shows that type of interest on a first/second date…it strikes me as the person is in love with the idea of being in love…and not necessarily you. :o If I were single, that type of attention would make me run for the hills…because I wouldn’t feel special, I would feel like the guy doesn’t need to know a girl for very long before saying things that should only be uttered after both have known each other for at least …TWO dates. 😛 That type of attention on a first date is too much and does more harm than good. I don’t believe in playing games, but I don’t believe in becoming too serious, too quickly…before you have ample time to get to know someone. *
 
CountrySinger said:
You mean I shouldn’t be getting tattoos?! I thought that would show my love. 😛 :doh2: Just kidding, I am so scared of needles!
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Never get a tattoo of a man’s name! That is the worst omen ever for relationships, they say. I don’t have any tattoos…it’s what I have heard though. lol 😛
 
whatevergirl said:
Never get a tattoo of a man’s name! That is the worst omen ever for relationships, they say. I don’t have any tattoos…it’s what I have heard though. lol 😛
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What about Elliott Yamin 4-ever?! I met a girl at a concert with that. I think she was insane. 😃
 
whatevergirl said:
Never get a tattoo of a man’s name! That is the worst omen ever for relationships, they say. I don’t have any tattoos…it’s what I have heard though. lol 😛
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Well if it was a bromance I’d recommend getting ‘Dude’ and ‘Sweet’. 😛
 
Let me just say, I don’t want to come across as being cold. I know that some here have had a tough time of the dating scene. I am very sorry to hear of some of the stories, and I don’t mean to make light of any of it. In college days, I viewed dating differently than some of you–not right or wrong, but I didn’t have a lot of expectations when dating. And not that expectations are wrong all the time, but no one has a right to expect commitment, after a few dates. On the same token, don’t be foolish either, and keep chasing someone who is obviously not into you. I think most importantly, if you ask for God’s will to be done…,then there will be no worries. Maybe I just have a different perspective of dating…seems like it’s gotten a whole lot harder or something since my college days. 😊
 
whatevergirl said:
stop it, no you didn’t…really?? haha Oh my gosh, she will regret that someday. :eek:😛
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I am serious! I couldn’t have anyone’s name on me. Imagines being married and having husband see a tattoo of some other man’s name AWKWARD :eek::eek::eek::eek:
 
You know what I find funny? People who have three kids with there girlfriend, their names tattooed all over each other, but they won’t get married because fear of “commitment”.

Seen it a few times!
 
whatevergirl said:
Let me just say, I don’t want to come across as being cold. I know that some here have had a tough time of the dating scene. I am very sorry to hear of some of the stories, and I don’t mean to make light of any of it. In college days, I viewed dating differently than some of you–not right or wrong, but I didn’t have a lot of expectations when dating. And not that expectations are wrong all the time, but no one has a right to expect commitment, after a few dates. On the same token, don’t be foolish either, and keep chasing someone who is obviously not into you. I think most importantly, if you ask for God’s will to be done…,then there will be no worries. Maybe I just have a different perspective of dating…seems like it’s gotten a whole lot harder or something since my college days. 😊
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You’re not cold at all! Your advice and support are always appreciated. :yup:
 
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