No advice given by the priest in Confession

[chosendaughter]

At this time in my life I find myself without a regular confessor. I go to the sacrament frequently, never letting the time between exceed two weeks. Today, (first Saturday), we had confessions offered after mass. I had matter to confess and waited with a long line of others for the sacrament. I confessed my sins since my last confession - which was last week. The priest, who I have never confessed to before, did grant me absolution, but had no advice for me. When I had a regular confessor, I always got advice, the priest that I see on a semi regular basis always has some kind of direction or advice as well. Does anyone have a similar experience with a confessor? I have to say, while I know it is not necessary part of the sacrament, I will avoid him in the future. Is that a bad attitude? Pray for me that the Holy Spirit provides me with a regular confessor to aid me on my spiritual journey

 

[Journey322]

At this time in my life I find myself without a regular confessor. I go to the sacrament frequently, never letting the time between exceed two weeks. Today, (first Saturday), we had confessions offered after mass. I had matter to confess and waited with a long line of others for the sacrament. I confessed my sins since my last confession - which was last week. The priest, who I have never confessed to before, did grant me absolution, but had no advice for me. When I had a regular confessor, I always got advice, the priest that I see on a semi regular basis always has some kind of direction or advice as well. Does anyone have a similar experience with a confessor? I have to say, while I know it is not necessary part of the sacrament, I will avoid him in the future. Is that a bad attitude? Pray for me that the Holy Spirit provides me with a regular confessor to aid me on my spiritual journey

Personally, I think your decision might be a little hasty. You did say there was a long line of others waiting to confess. Perhaps he was simply trying to be mindful of this fact to ensure he had time to get to everyone. Besides. the main reason we go to confession is to receive absolution, not necessarily advice. It is great when helpful advice is offered, but this ought not be our focus when we go. If it is advice you want/need, maybe a counseling appointment would be more helpful to you.

 

[teachccd]

Personally, I think your decision might be a little hasty. You did say there was a long line of others waiting to confess. Perhaps he was simply trying to be mindful of this fact to ensure he had time to get to everyone. Besides. the main reason we go to confession is to receive absolution, not necessarily advice. It is great when helpful advice is offered, but this ought not be our focus when we go. If it is advice you want/need, maybe a counseling appointment would be more helpful to you.

I absolutely agree. I might add that this has happened to me more than once and if I ask for specific advice I have never had a priest not offer any. Give the priest the benefit of the doubt and go back to him and ask for advice. Again, this is not a counseling session but some brief (name removed by moderator)ut is not out of order and can aid in the healing of this sacrament. God bless you…

 

[Joannm]

Perhaps the priest didn’t think you needed advice based on the particular sin and the fact that your last confession was the week before. I have been to confession where there was no advice. That is not why I go to confession.

 

[coachkfan1]

I thought that the main purpose of confession was to receive absolution for our sins, and to return us to right relationship with God and community. It’s always great to get some words of advice, but if that is really what one needs, then perhaps it is best to set up a personal one on one meeting with one’s confessor. Just my opinion.

 

[acadiANNA]

This happened to me a few weeks ago. My expectations…I thought the Priest would offer some spiritual direction but he did not. There wasn’t anyone in line but he wouldn’t have known that. Confessions start an hour and thirty minutes before Mass. So I was just happy to receive absolution and thanked God for that.

 

[po18guy]

We do not expect to receive spiritual direction when receiving Holy Communion, or when we are Baptized - both of which are also sacraments. The purpose of confession is to be absolved of your sins. Period. Out of consideration for the limited time available, and the other penitents in line, some Priests may avoid offering spiritual direction at the same time. If there are no others waiting, it is appropriate to mention that to Father, so that he knows that extra time spent will not be impeding others from the Sacrament. In the OP’s case, it might very well be best to speak with Father outside of the confessional and to seek a spiritual director.

 

[Mary_Ellen]

I agree with PP’s responses - the sacrament is for absolution, not spiritual direction. If advice is given, that’s great if that’s what you want, too, but that’s not the point.

Avoid him-yes, that seems like a bad attitude. I would at the very least give this priest another chance. As you mentioned, there was a line and probably no time for “extras.”

 

[CB_Catholic]

If the priest I confess to does not feel I need advice, he usually won’t give it. It is not always necessary, and I don’t always need it. Most of the time I know better than to sin in the way I have, and know how to avoid it, I just don’t do what I need to do to avoid the sin. I can figure that out by myself In fact, one priest told me exactly that. If there is a problem and the priests feel a need to address it and give advice, they will. I feel Confession is for forgiveness and absolution mainly. Also if the lines are long and he has only so long to hear Confession, he should take that into consideration, so everyone can get their turn.

I once got stuck in the Confessional with a very nice but long-winded priest who had no problem giving me advice–he even told me to be sure I eat correctly, get regular exercise, and enough rest. What that had to do with my sins I never did figure out.

 

[ajecphotos]

To me, it’s not about advice but about absolution for my sins which make me feel unclean to God.

 

[bitznbitez]

If they are busy then they may prefer a seperate meeting for advice. I have had it both ways. I’ve visited a priest I didn’t know and got a lot of advice, even with a line. A month ago we had a line, the priest emerged told the guy behind me, the last in line, if anyone else showed up that it was to late he’d be the last.

The priest confessed me quickly, he didn’t ask for the act of contrition, I said it on own after I left the confessional. No advice or anything just a fast to the point event.

He had a mass to prepare for so I understood.

 

[KCT]

I’ve had priests who give advice and others who just listen, and then say, “For your penance…”.

 

[babochka]

The purpose of confession is to be absolved of your sins. Period.

While the primary purpose of confession is to be absolved of your sins, it is not the teaching of the church that this is the only purpose of confession. If that were true, there would be no need for frequent confession of venial sins, as they are forgiven in a number of ways, including the reception of Holy Communion. In the words of Pope Pius XII:

It is true that venial sins may be expiated in many ways that are to be highly commended, but to ensure more rapid progress day by day in the practice of virtue we want the pious practice of frequent Confession which was introduced into the Church by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit to be earnestly advocated. ** By it genuine self-knowledge is increased, Christian humility grows, bad habits are corrected, spiritual neglect and tepidity are resisted, the conscience is purified, the will strengthened, a salutary self-control is attained, and grace is increased in virtue of the sacrament itself.** Let those, therefore, among the younger clergy who make light of or lessen esteem for frequent Confession know what they are doing. What they are doing is alien to the spirit of Christ and disastrous for the Mystical Body of Christ.

 

[babochka]

At this time in my life I find myself without a regular confessor. I go to the sacrament frequently, never letting the time between exceed two weeks. Today, (first Saturday), we had confessions offered after mass. I had matter to confess and waited with a long line of others for the sacrament. I confessed my sins since my last confession - which was last week. The priest, who I have never confessed to before, did grant me absolution, but had no advice for me. When I had a regular confessor, I always got advice, the priest that I see on a semi regular basis always has some kind of direction or advice as well. Does anyone have a similar experience with a confessor? I have to say, while I know it is not necessary part of the sacrament, I will avoid him in the future. Is that a bad attitude? Pray for me that the Holy Spirit provides me with a regular confessor to aid me on my spiritual journey

There was a time in my life, before I fully appreciated what benefits the sacrament offered me, that I preferred this sort of confession. I even sought out the priest who was known for an in and out sort of confession. He was half deaf and never really heard you anyway. As I’ve matured, I’ve come to really appreciate good spiritual counsel given in the confessional. I recently went to confession other than to my regular confessor and had a similar experience to that which you have described. I was struggling with whether one item was a sin or not, and told the priest that I didn’t really know if it was a sin, hoping for some guidance. He didn’t even acknowledge the question. I brought the same sin up to my regular confessor the next time, and received some good counsel about it. At the end of the day, I was forgiven, but I have really come to value the “full experience” in confession.

There is a reason that some confessors are sought after, Padre Pio and St. John Vianney being two who come to mind. In any given church where there is more than one priest who is hearing confessions, one line is often going to be longer than the others. This is usually the priest who takes his time and gives good counsel. People are willing to wait in his line, even while the others move at a good clip. I thank God for those priests who have helped me in my spiritual growth, while I don’t fault those priests who approach things differently. I’m grateful for them, even if I don’t seek them out.

 

[Gorgias]

If that were true, there would be no need for frequent confession of venial sins

You’re right - there is no need for frequent confession of venial sins. It’s salutary, of course, and efficacious, but not (strictly speaking) necessary. In your quote, Pius speaks of its value, not its necessity.

 

[chosendaughter]

There was a time in my life, before I fully appreciated what benefits the sacrament offered me, that I preferred this sort of confession. I even sought out the priest who was known for an in and out sort of confession. He was half deaf and never really heard you anyway. As I’ve matured, I’ve come to really appreciate good spiritual counsel given in the confessional. I recently went to confession other than to my regular confessor and had a similar experience to that which you have described. I was struggling with whether one item was a sin or not, and told the priest that I didn’t really know if it was a sin, hoping for some guidance. He didn’t even acknowledge the question. I brought the same sin up to my regular confessor the next time, and received some good counsel about it. At the end of the day, I was forgiven, but I have really come to value the “full experience” in confession.

There is a reason that some confessors are sought after, Padre Pio and St. John Vianney being two who come to mind. In any given church where there is more than one priest who is hearing confessions, one line is often going to be longer than the others. This is usually the priest who takes his time and gives good counsel. People are willing to wait in his line, even while the others move at a good clip. I thank God for those priests who have helped me in my spiritual growth, while I don’t fault those priests who approach things differently. I’m grateful for them, even if I don’t seek them out.

Thank you. You expressed it well. I have been seeing one of our priests on a semi regular basis since I “lost” my last regular confessor, he does have that long line and always gives some counsel which is spot on every time. Perhaps today is good for me to see the value in one of my parish priests! The priest today wasn’t rushed with others (one person in excess of 15 minutes - which is fine). I am grateful to acknowledge my sinfulness and receive absolution and grateful for every priest who makes himself available in the confessional but I think I do like a word or two of counsel.

 

[babochka]

You’re right - there is no need for frequent confession of venial sins. It’s salutary, of course, and efficacious, but not (strictly speaking) necessary. In your quote, Pius speaks of its value, not its necessity.

1**:** necessary duty : obligation

2a : **a lack of something requisite, desirable, or useful **

• b* : **a physiological or psychological requirement for the well-being of an organism **

3**:** a condition requiring supply or relief

4**:** lack of the means of subsistence : poverty

Above are the definitions of need, as given by the Miriam-Webster dictionary. 2a and 2b would seem to apply here.

Grace is increased in virtue of the sacrament itself. There is indeed a need for us to avail ourselves of the opportunities for Grace given to us. By your definition, we don’t need to receive Holy Communion frequently. Once in a lifetime is sufficient to fulfill God’s instructions, and once each year is sufficient to fulfill the precepts of the church. Frequent, even daily reception of Holy Communion is encouraged by the church because it is one of many means to work toward the ultimate need, complete union with God. I don’t need frequent confession for the forgiveness of venial sins, but I need frequent confession for the best progress toward my ultimate goal in life. If you can get there without this particular Grace given to us by God, more power to you. I don’t believe I can.

 

[Gorgias]

Above are the definitions of need, as given by the Miriam-Webster dictionary. 2a and 2b would seem to apply here.

Mila babus’ia,

If those two definitions didn’t have the words ‘requisite’ or ‘requirement’, I might agree with you. By contrast, sacramental confession is requisite for the remission of post-baptismal mortal sin. (It isn’t requisite for remission of post-baptismal venial sin: for example, reception of the Eucharist remits such sin.) It is, however, efficacious.

babochka:

By your definition, we don’t need to receive Holy Communion frequently. Once in a lifetime is sufficient to fulfill God’s instructions, and once each year is sufficient to fulfill the precepts of the church.

Not at all. You’re confusing ‘need’ with ‘benefit’. We need food regularly. We don’t need filet mignon regularly. If filet is available, go for it! But don’t tell someone “if you don’t get filet when you’re hungry, you’ll die…!”

I don’t need frequent confession for the forgiveness of venial sins,

See? We’re saying the same thing! It’s not a need in this context, as you’ve argued, but it is a good…

 

[babochka]

Mila babus’ia,

If those two definitions didn’t have the words ‘requisite’ or ‘requirement’, I might agree with you. By contrast, sacramental confession is requisite for the remission of post-baptismal mortal sin. (It isn’t requisite for remission of post-baptismal venial sin: for example, reception of the Eucharist remits such sin.) It is, however, efficacious.

Not at all. You’re confusing ‘need’ with ‘benefit’. We need food regularly. We don’t need filet mignon regularly. If filet is available, go for it! But don’t tell someone “if you don’t get filet when you’re hungry, you’ll die…!”

See? We’re saying the same thing! It’s not a need in this context, as you’ve argued, but it is a good…

No, we’re not saying the same thing. You say that I’m confusing need with benefit. I contend that you are giving “need” an unnecessarily narrow definition. You seem to be equating “need” with “necessary for salvation”, but I see it in broader terms. I don’t need frequent confession for the forgiveness of sins, but I do need it for my spiritual growth. There are often many ways to fill the same need, but some ways do it better than others. We all need calcium. We can eat dairy products, or we can eat a lot of green, leafy vegetables. The science seems to indicate that our bodies absorb the calcium provided by the consumption of green, leafy vegetables in a more efficient manner. Eating either food will fulfill the body’s need for calcium, but one of them does a better job. I have a need to grow in virtue and avoid sin. I might be able to get there without confessing my venial sins, but I’ll get there faster with the practice of frequent confession. The graces and benefits will fulfill my need to grow in virtue and avoid sin.

I need physical affection and emotional intimacy from my husband. Will I die without it? Of course not! Will my marriage die without it? In a human sense, it might. Therefore, I define it as a need.

But we’re playing with semantics here, which is something I greatly enjoy. Not everybody on these boards appreciates it quite so much. We’ll just have to agree to disagree.

Edit: My husband just pointed out that we aren’t really using different defintions of the word, we are just talking about different needs. You are saying that it is not necessary (needed) for salvation, and I agree. I am arguing that it is necessary (needed) for optimum spiritual growth.

 

[Julie_de_Sales]

I also had a priest who rarely/never gave advice in confession. Sometimes I was having the impression that I was talking to a wall, because he had no reaction to whatever you said. But somewhat I appreciated this way of acting, because it really helped me not to be so scrupulous, he encouraged me to skip the details. It is alway better that to be stuck in the confessional for 15+ min and to pray that the priest will finish with the advice. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate all the help recieved in confession, but is very humiliating to go out and to see people waiting in line who look at you like this or like this
Well…what can I do:shrug: