No birth control is really hard if you're poor

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Brogan2

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My wife just gave birth in February we couldn’t be happier. My baby is the most handsome kid in the world and I’m not at all bias. But the problem is I still don’t have a good job. We can’t use NFP because she is highly irregular. Sometimes 1 month between periods sometimes 3. So I guess since we can’t afford another child right now we have to abstain until I find another job. Otherwise we will go to hell for the mortal sin of condoms.

But I don’t think long term abstinence is good for our marriage. We really get along better when we are close.

I’m very tempted to say to hell with it and use condoms anyways. As an aside I would never advise my wife to use the pill because that can abort a baby.
 
Congratulations on your new baby!!!

First thing, what method of NFP are you using? Were you trained in the method?

There are different methods of NFP, none of them require women to be “regular”.
 
I would encourage you both to investigate different methods of NFP. I’ve known women who have had very irregular cycles and certain methods of NFP simply did not work for them, but then they eventually found one that did.
 
We can’t really mess around with trial and error tho. We are living in a studio apartment. We can’t get pregnant right not and then say “opps that particular method didn’t work.”
 
I’d never advise trial and error.

I would advise that you have another session with your instructor to go over the post-partum rules for your method.

ETA: If you are using the Sympto Thermal method, you may want to add in tech



For me, temp methods just were not compatible with my life because I have chronic insomnia. Billings, Creighton, the mucous based methods gave me clear signs.
 
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We don’t have anyone to teach us. We are in the Philippines. Medicine is 50 years behind here.
 
It’s not just trial and error, though. This is why I encourage you to seek out more information on the particular methods. There is the Creighton Model, Sympto-thermal Method, Marquette Model, Billings Ovulation Method, and probably a few more. find someone who teaches those methods in your area and talk to them. Get as much information as you can on how it all works before deciding that it’s simply not possible.
Brogan2 said:
We don’t have anyone to teach us. We are in the Philippines. Medicine is 50 years behind here.
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Sorry, just saw you add that. That does make it more challenging for you. 😦 Hopefully Little Lady’s links will help.
 
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You would not want to send yourself or your wife to hell, no marital relations is worth that. You are married to save each others soul and teach your children the faith. Using contraception would go against your marriage.

Do the work and both you and your spouse learn the Creighton Model. Trust in Gods providence and care for you and your family.
 
Brogan2 said:
Otherwise we will go to hell for the mortal sin of condoms.
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You actually believe this? Please tell me you don’t actually believe that your soul is dammed if you use a condom. Do yourself a big favour and speak to your local priest - hopefully you find consideration for your circumstances.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a huge proponent of NFP - and it worked for us. But I can understand the trepidation that couples might fear if a pregnancy occurred when you were trying to responsibly space your pregnancies.

God bless you!!!
 
Contraception is grave matter. This is the doctrine of Holy Mother Church. If this grave matter meets the other conditions it can rise to mortal sin.
 
JohnStrachan said:
You actually believe this? Please tell me you don’t actually believe that your soul is dammed if you use a condom. Do yourself a big favour and speak to your local priest - hopefully you find consideration for your circumstances.
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Contraception is intrinsically evil , so no circumstance or intention can allow one to use condoms or any form of contraception. So if a priest says you can use contraception, stay far away from that priest!
 
JohnStrachan said:
Please tell me you don’t actually believe that your soul is dammed if you use a condom.
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It is Catholic teaching that the use of contraception qua contraception is a mortal sin.

ETA: Ok, that was imprecise. As @TheLittleLady says, it is grave matter and can be a mortal sin. Financial considerations do not factor into that equation.
 
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Brogan2 said:
We can’t use NFP because she is highly irregular
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My wife also used to be highly irregular, and NFP worked for us.

It sucked, and it was hard during the longer spells, but the principles all still work.

Is risking eternal damnation really worth the temporal gratification?
 
Brogan2 said:
We get along a lot better when we participate in the marital act. We don’t feel close when we are not together in this way for long durations.
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I also get along better with my wife when we’re engaged physically. I get it, I really do. But you still need to consider the full implications of what you’re saying. You’re talking about temporal things, and placing those above the things of eternity.

I know it’s hard. I fail at it often, but eternity is what’s most important here. Incidentally, there are a number of things that can impact your wife’s cycle. It might be useful to track her symptoms so you can look for common problem indicators.
 
This is a good thing, the unity of the marital act, but the end doesnt justify the means. Its not worth using contraception. Contraception is gravely immoral.
 
TheLittleLady said:
Contraception is grave matter. This is the doctrine of Holy Mother Church. If this grave matter meets the other conditions it can rise to mortal sin.
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Okay. Then 98% of RC’s are in this predicament. I am not arguing the gravity. If this is the case then, this should be preached regularly, the sacrament of penance should be widely available and clergy should note before communion that a RC must be in a state of grace to receive communion. And each church should have NFP classes. There is a great deal of convenient ignorance on this issue in the church.
 
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