No birth control? No fair!

  • Thread starter Thread starter VicMorrow17
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Although my username has a man’s name, I am female. Sorry for the confusion

My fiance and I have been engaged for six months and want to get married in June 2017. However, the only thing holding us back is the fear of having children too soon that we wouldn’t be able to provide for. Our worst nightmare is being one of those couples who gets pregnant on our honeymoon and spends the next 32 years of our lives popping out kids with no time whatsoever for travel, vacation, or romance in general.

I am angry because other non-Catholic couples don’t have to worry about this: they just pop a pill or slip on a condom and have all the sex they want with no worries. They’re not punished with children before they even get their lives as a couple figured out.

I have tried learning NFP but it is just too complicated and my diocese has no one to teach me. I also think that NFP places an unfair burden on the woman since the whole procedure of taking temperature, checking mucus (how gross), etc. all falls on her and her alone. Not that the Pill with all its side effects is any better for the woman (I would personally never take it) but even condoms place at least some of the responsibility on the man.

I am tired of waiting to get married and I think it’s horribly unfair that the Church forces Catholic couples to suffer the emotional and financial burden of children right off the bat, while their Protestant and non-Christian friends take vacations, build their dream homes, and sip champagne while looking down on the harried 25-year old Catholic mom who is changing 60 diapers a day. Can someone please help me so I can make sense out of why the Church holds the position of no artificial birth control?

Thanks,
VicMorrow17
The purpose of marriage is to have children and create a family. If you want to travel and have “fun” instead, then postpone it until you are mature enough to think of your children first. I had to smile at this post; my mother got pregnant with me less than 30 days after the wedding and I was married for 10 when I got pregnant with my daughter. We all survived just fine. 😉
 
The purpose of marriage is to have children and create a family. If you want to travel and have “fun” instead, then postpone it until you are mature enough to think of your children first. I had to smile at this post; my mother got pregnant with me less than 30 days after the wedding and I was married for 10 when I got pregnant with my daughter. We all survived just fine. 😉
At age 63, if I were to marry, it would not be too have children! :eek:
 
Well, people whose first priority is travel and money shouldn’t be having kids they don’t want in the first place. People shouldn’t feel they are mandated to procreate. Its the couples life and they shouldn’t feel guilt trip into having children they don’t want. What’s really selfish is bringing children into the world unwanted and raising them to feel they are unwanted.
This is very true. The “couple” are no doubt great friends and are free to travel the world as the focus of their shared time. That is all good.

Does anything change with marriage? Is the only change that sex is added to the mix? Or does the entering of the sexual relationship of marriage reset the premises of the relationship?
 
At age 63, if I were to marry, it would not be too have children! :eek:
Clearly. The young have responsibilities particular to their state of life and we elder citizens to ours. At 63, you do not interfere with the natural order, and we don’t expect our 23 year old sons and daughters to do so either.
 
It’s really difficult to take this post seriously, Vic. Because frankly, Vic, this post sounds like it was written by a petulant child, not an adult preparing for marriage. Perhaps that is just venting?
:yup:
 
At age 63, if I were to marry, it would not be too have children! :eek:
I’m not longer able to drive a 2" cabinet screw home with a hand held non-powered phillips head screwdriver.
I still respect the tool for it’s design and use it in a way that it’s ordered to. 😉

Results aren’t everything, if they were this would be a frustrating and despairing world…
 
I’m not longer able to drive a 2" cabinet screw home with a hand held non-powered phillips head screwdriver.
I still respect the tool for it’s design and use it in a way that it’s ordered to. 😉

Results aren’t everything, if they were this would be a frustrating and despairing world…
Where is the gold star emoticon!? That is dynamite! 👍
 
Yes a particular person does not have to marry.
No, they can marry, they just do not need to have kids if they don’t want them.
If they are called to Marriage though - they must be open to life - that is part and partial to the vocation.
Open to life means accepting a child once a child is conceived and not aborting them. Open to life does not mean each time couple has sex, they must be willing to get pregnant.

Also want to mention that, Eve was created because “it is not good for the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). There is no mention of procreation as the purpose of Eve’s creation; rather, her purpose was to provide a suitable companion and helper, because it’s not good for one to be alone.

Yes, God did tell to Adam and Eve, ‘Be fruitful and increase in number’” (Genesis 1:22, NIV), however, that was a command to Adam and Eve not the rest of mankind. Plus, it’s only logical that in order for the human race to flourish, the first 2 people had to reproduce. Not to mention, the small tribe of Israelites and their bloodline needed to be preserved to ensure the birth of Jesus as prophesied.

Though sexual intercourse may create children, procreation is not the sole reason for sex. The Bible never names procreation as a condition of marriage. Sex is more than baby-making; it’s “marriage glue.” Marriage bonds are deepened and strengthened through the intimate and exclusive sexual relationship.

I’ve read people use eating and how it’s for pleasure and nourishment then talk about how bulimia defiles the purpose of eating by separating nourishment from pleasure, for you get pleasure of eating without nourishment. Well, what do people say about those with G-tubes? They don’t eat with there mouths so the enjoyment of eating is removed from the equation for the sole purpose of nourishment.

No one is mandated to make babies. It’s the couples body, there life. If they want to bring children into it that’s ok. If they want to stay childless that’s ok too.

People get married because they want to spend the rest of there life with another person. What the couple chooses after marriage is between them and God.

Also, a childless couple is not hurting anyone. A childless couple is just as capable as a couple with kids, of making a positive contribution to society. Some people are called to marriage AND children, while some are called to marriage but NO children. Please don’t make assumptions of knowing Gods intentions for people. The Catholic Church can say what it wants but that doesn’t mean they actually know Gods will for each individual person.

What’s even more selfish is bringing children into the world who grow up never being wanted. It’s the couples life, to each there own. If they want no kids, they don’t have to have any and they shouldn’t feel pressured to, and like there marriage is incomplete and unfulfilled without kids.
 
Open to life means accepting a child once a child is conceived and not aborting them. Open to life does not mean each time couple has sex, they must be willing to get pregnant…
No it means that one is not doing anything to hinder pregnancy…and one is accepting the children that God may send them. Yes they must be open to a new child each time they have relations - they may not hinder such a possibility. Now if they have a serious reason they may make use of the infertile time -but still they must be open to life even then.

Again such is part and partial to Marriage.
 
Also want to mention that, Eve was created because “it is not good for the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). There is no mention of procreation as the purpose of Eve’s creation; rather, her purpose was to provide a suitable companion and helper, because it’s not good for one to be alone.
.
That was *part *of the reason yes.
 
Though sexual intercourse may create children, procreation is not the sole reason for sex. T.
Yes that is true.

But one may not separate the unitive from the procreative.

**Compendium **issued by Pope Benedict XVI gives a nice summary:

496. What is the meaning of the conjugal act?

2362-2367

The conjugal act has a twofold meaning: unitive (the mutual self-giving of the spouses) and procreative (an openness to the transmission of life). No one may break the inseparable connection which God has established between these two meanings of the conjugal act by excluding one or the other of them.
 
VicMorrow17 said:
If you will kindly note, I did ask for some kind person to explain to me the teachings of the Church; I didn’t just come here because I have a bone to pick with Catholic Morality. I thank those of you who responded kindly and without judgement. A faith that isn’t worth questioning worth practicing, and I am grateful to the few kind souls who allowed me to voice my concerns without eviscerating me.

This is the second and last time I will ever utilize this site. Congratulations on driving another young person away from the Church! I hope you will keep reading your Bibles and patting yourselves on the back.
If you leave the Church (because of a few or even many people), it is YOU who will be hurt, not the mean members on this forum. You do not join or stay in the Church because of her sinful members, you join and stay the course for God, yourself and others who you might help save, such as your children. Best of wishes and keep reaching out to God and his Church. 👍
 
My fiance and I have been engaged for six months and want to get married in June 2017. However, the only thing holding us back is the fear of having children too soon that we wouldn’t be able to provide for. Our worst nightmare…
This tells me that you do not trust God to provide.

As to ‘fairness’, I do not ask for life to be fair. Instead of me having cancer, both of you would also. Does that sound fair? Be thankful that life is not fair!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top