No contrition?

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I have a problem with contrition in that I don’t really regret my past sins. I am sorry for offending God, of course, and I am resolved not to commit those sins again in obedience to Him, but if I am being honest with myself, it’s not like I wish they had never happened. I mean, I did a lot of things when I was younger that I would not do today, but I had a blast, and I think the fact that I had so much fun in my past has really enabled me to settle down with no regrets now and try to be the best person I can be. I’m afraid that because of this, my confessions have been invalid, but I can’t force myself to regret these sins from my past, I can only be determined to be a better person in the future.
 
I have a problem with contrition in that I don’t really regret my past sins. I am sorry for offending God, of course, and I am resolved not to commit those sins again in obedience to Him, but if I am being honest with myself, it’s not like I wish they had never happened. I mean, I did a lot of things when I was younger that I would not do today, but I had a blast, and I think the fact that I had so much fun in my past has really enabled me to settle down with no regrets now and try to be the best person I can be. I’m afraid that because of this, my confessions have been invalid, but I can’t force myself to regret these sins from my past, I can only be determined to be a better person in the future.
Sin is something that separates us from God. When we recognise the distance a sin has caused between us and our goal, we feel regret and want to redress the balance and conform our lives to the divine will,; the operator’s manual if you like. I would say you need to study a little more and work on deepening your understanding of why these confessed sins caused damage to your relationship with God.

If we love someone, we always regret causing them pain. All sin constitutes a meeting of God in one’s conscience and a deliberate turning away from Him.
 
I have a problem with contrition in that I don’t really regret my past sins. I am sorry for offending God, of course, and I am resolved not to commit those sins again in obedience to Him, but if I am being honest with myself, it’s not like I wish they had never happened. I mean, I did a lot of things when I was younger that I would not do today, but I had a blast, and I think the fact that I had so much fun in my past has really enabled me to settle down with no regrets now and try to be the best person I can be. I’m afraid that because of this, my confessions have been invalid, but I can’t force myself to regret these sins from my past, I can only be determined to be a better person in the future.
I know exactly how you feel. I am very sorry for the sins I committed that hurt other people, but it is hard to be really contrite about the times I had a blast. (I was pretty hedonistic until I gave my heart to the Lord.)
I am just determined to be a good Catholic Christian in the future.
 
I know exactly how you feel. I am very sorry for the sins I committed that hurt other people, but it is hard to be really contrite about the times I had a blast. (I was pretty hedonistic until I gave my heart to the Lord.)
I am just determined to be a good Catholic Christian in the future.
Exactly. I sure hope I’m forgiven for those sins anyway (I have confessed them), but I can’t “unwish” them or control my emotions about them…I can only try to be better in the future. If I’m being honest, some of those times were the most fun I’ve ever had in my life and didn’t hurt anyone, even myself! I am sorry for having offended God, but I’m not sure that’s enough for forgiveness 😦
 
The point of this thread seems a bit obscure.

You went to confession,told the priest your sins,said the required act of contrition,and I assume the priest absolved you and you did your penance.

Now you seem to be saying that your act of contrition was not honest? That would be piling another sin on your soul,that of lieing.

Maybe I am not reading it correctly.
 
Exactly. I sure hope I’m forgiven for those sins anyway (I have confessed them), but I can’t “unwish” them or control my emotions about them…I can only try to be better in the future. If I’m being honest, some of those times were the most fun I’ve ever had in my life and didn’t hurt anyone, even myself! I am sorry for having offended God, but I’m not sure that’s enough for forgiveness 😦
To me this is testomony to the unreliability of using emotion to judge morality.

Just because is feels good, doesn’t mean it is good.
 
I feel so fortunate that I’ve been allowed to live to the repentant age of 50.
 
but I can’t “unwish” them or control my emotions about them…I can only try to be better in the future. If I’m being honest, some of those times were the most fun I’ve ever had in my life and didn’t hurt anyone, even myself! I am sorry for having offended God, but I’m not sure that’s enough for forgiveness 😦
I’m not sure that trying to force a particular emotion about an action is the way to go. The first step is, as you have said you have done, to admit that an action is a sin and resolve not to do it again.

The next step is to throw a little more honesty and/or understanding at the sin an admit that it is a sin not just because it offends some silly sensibility of God - like using the wrong fork at a formal dinner - but because it was an actual bad thing which is harmful to all involved in one way or another.

That is, for sins, the “and didn’t hurt anyone, even myself” is always false, and the “most fun I’ve ever had in my life” is irrelevant.

Then let the emotions sort themselves out.
 
There are two kinds of contrition…perfect and imperfect. Either one is sufficient for forgiveness of sins. Perfect contrition is that sorrow you feel because you’ve offended God who certainly is not deserving of your offense. Imperfect contrition is sorrow felt because you fear going to hell. Think back on your confession. You must have been there for some reason. That should tell you if your sins were forgiven.
 
What is contrition??

catholicreference.net/index.cfm?id=32795

(read the whole…tis very short)

and

vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/__P4D.HTM
See, this is where I get confused. It says firstly that is an act of the will, not an emotion, and then immediately afterwards it says that one must WISH one had never committed the sin. that is not something one can decide to do or not to do. I can vow not to sin again, I can be sorry for the fact that I have offended God, who is perfect, but I cannot make myself WISH that I had never committed the sin, especially if, like many people, I may disagree with the Church as to whether or not something was actually a mortal sin.

For example, I have been with my husband since I was 17. We were married at 28. We did NOT wait until we were married to have sex. He is the only person I have ever been with and I knew I would marry him from the age of 17. Do I wish we had never had sex until 11 years later when we got married? Not really. I don’t see the point of regretting it. I was young and in love and I did what I did. It’s over. If we hadn’t gotten so emotionally/physically involved when we did, I can’t be certain we would even still be together. We probably would have kept our emotional distance so as not to get too serious with each other and eventually gone our separate ways during college. Why would I wish that we had never done this? We are happy with one son and another baby on the way. We love each other more than ever. On top of all of this, I don’t think my actions were mortally sinful, it’s just that the Church tells me they were, so I confessed it, apologized to God for it and (obviously) it won’t be happening again. What more can I do? All I can do is try to obey the Church’s teaching from here on out.
 
See, this is where I get confused. It says firstly that is an act of the will, not an emotion, and then immediately afterwards it says that one must WISH one had never committed the sin. that is not something one can decide to do or not to do. I can vow not to sin again, I can be sorry for the fact that I have offended God, who is perfect, but I cannot make myself WISH that I had never committed the sin, especially if, like many people, I may disagree with the Church as to whether or not something was actually a mortal sin.

.
I explained this in the other thread on this question…I would refer you there…where I addressed some of this at length…

The whole of the definition from the Catholic Dictionary by the Theologian Fr. Hardon here… has to be taken together…it can help to read it over a few times…(and notice his point of saying it is in an act of the will…)…and read the whole…

One is not “regretting” the good that God brought out of your sinful choices…the good remains…one is rejecting the sin …

and one is not engaging in a “Catholic Back to the Future Movie”…and loosing the good God has brought out…

We do need to repent of all mortal sins…and Catholics are to accept and live the teachings of the Church…some things are to be given the “obedience of Faith” and some things are to be given “the religious submission of intellect and will”…
as the Church teaches.

ewtn.com/library/Theology/SUMMARY.HTM concerning the different kinds of assent Catholics are to give as Catholics…living according to their Baptismal seal.

Then it is “Faith seeking understanding”…one then works to understand…

vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/__PX.HTM

(read the whole)
 
I explained this in the other thread on this question…I would refer you there…where I addressed some of this at length…

The whole of the definition from the Catholic Dictionary by the Theologian Fr. Hardon here… has to be taken together…it can help to read it over a few times…(and notice his point of saying it is in an act of the will…)…and read the whole…

One is not “regretting” the good that God brought out of your sinful choices…the good remains…one is rejecting the sin …

and one is not engaging in a “Catholic Back to the Future Movie”…and loosing the good God has brought out…

We do need to repent of all mortal sins…and Catholics are to accept and live the teachings of the Church…some things are to be given the “obedience of Faith” and some things are to be given “the religious submission of intellect and will”…
as the Church teaches.

ewtn.com/library/Theology/SUMMARY.HTM concerning the different kinds of assent Catholics are to give as Catholics…living according to their Baptismal seal.

Then it is “Faith seeking understanding”…one then works to understand…

vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/__PX.HTM

(read the whole)
Isn’t vowing to sin no more “rejecting the sin”? I don’t see why one would have to wish never to have done it in the first place, because that is not an act of the will, but of emotion. The best I can do is say that if presented with the same circumstances now, I would not commit the sin again.
 
Isn’t vowing to sin no more “rejecting the sin”? I don’t see why one would have to wish never to have done it in the first place, because that is not an act of the will, but of emotion. The best I can do is say that if presented with the same circumstances now, I would not commit the sin again.
It is a an act of will…a rejection of all mortal sin. There is a lot to the definition there…

Because it was a mortal sin…gravely offensive to God who loves us and whom we love.

Lets say that I committed the sin of adultery. And from that sin a child was conceived.

In repenting I reject that sin entirely…repent of the adultery I wish I had not committed this mortal sin… Mortal sin is what it is mortal sin…

But I would not reject the good that God brought out of my sin…the child.

My little fictional story here is to say that one does not have to do a Catholic Back to the Future…and jump in Tardis and go back in time and prevent the sin…

One lives all the Good that God has brought out of ones sinful choices …and is thankful to God that he did bring this good from our sins.

But one still is repentant…
 
That is not an act of will. I can’t make myself wish I had not committed the sin (or what the Church considers a sin). If I had hurt people, or had a lot of negative consequences from it, I suppose I would wish it had never happened, but I can’t force myself to do so when I can barely see why it is a sin in the first place. All I can do is try to obey the Church in the here and NOW. I hope that’s enough.
 
That is not an act of will. I can’t make myself wish I had not committed the sin (or what the Church considers a sin).
Sure it can be done.

The act of the will is a choice…not an emotion.

(you may however be investing some emotional meaning to it that is not intended …such is a different thing)
 
But though it need not absolutely have to include “emotion”…one can be sorry without the emotions following as one would like…but it is very good if ones emotions do help one…if one is able to engage them…say by thinking of the goodness and love of God and what a mortal sin is…what Jesus of Nazareth the Christ and Son of God went through to redeem us …to give us life…the love he showed in his suffering…in his cross.

Such meditations can be move one…like the movie the Passion…
 
Catechism again some things on conversion…

IV. INTERIOR PENANCE

1430 Jesus’ call to conversion and penance, like that of the prophets before him, does not aim first at outward works, “sackcloth and ashes,” fasting and mortification, but at the conversion of the heart, interior conversion. Without this, such penances remain sterile and false; however, interior conversion urges expression in visible signs, gestures and works of penance.23

1431 Interior repentance is a radical reorientation of our whole life, a return, a conversion to God with all our heart, an end of sin, a turning away from evil, with repugnance toward the evil actions we have committed. At the same time it entails the desire and resolution to change one’s life, with hope in God’s mercy and trust in the help of his grace. This conversion of heart is accompanied by a salutary pain and sadness which the Fathers called animi cruciatus (affliction of spirit) and compunctio cordis (repentance of heart).24

1432 The human heart is heavy and hardened. God must give man a new heart.25 Conversion is first of all a work of the grace of God who makes our hearts return to him: "Restore us to thyself, O LORD, that we may be restored!"26 God gives us the strength to begin anew. It is in discovering the greatness of God’s love that our heart is shaken by the horror and weight of sin and begins to fear offending God by sin and being separated from him. The human heart is converted by looking upon him whom our sins have pierced:27
Code:
Let us fix our eyes on Christ's blood and understand how precious it is to his Father, for, poured out for our salvation it has brought to the whole world the grace of repentance.
1433 Since Easter, the Holy Spirit has proved "the world wrong about sin,"29 i.e., proved that the world has not believed in him whom the Father has sent. But this same Spirit who brings sin to light is also the Consoler who gives the human heart grace for repentance and conversion.30

1439 The process of conversion and repentance was described by Jesus in the parable of the prodigal son, the center of which is the merciful father:37 the fascination of illusory freedom, the abandonment of the father’s house; the extreme misery in which the son finds himself after squandering his fortune; his deep humiliation at finding himself obliged to feed swine, and still worse, at wanting to feed on the husks the pigs ate; his reflection on all he has lost; his repentance and decision to declare himself guilty before his father; the journey back; the father’s generous welcome; the father’s joy - all these are characteristic of the process of conversion. The beautiful robe, the ring, and the festive banquet are symbols of that new life - pure worthy, and joyful - of anyone who returns to God and to the bosom of his family, which is the Church. Only the heart of Christ who knows the depths of his Father’s love could reveal to us the abyss of his mercy in so simple and beautiful a way.

1490 The movement of return to God, called conversion and repentance, entails sorrow for and abhorrence of sins committed, and the firm purpose of sinning no more in the future. Conversion touches the past and the future and is nourished by hope in God’s mercy.

982 There is no offense, however serious, that the Church cannot forgive. "There is no one, however wicked and guilty, who may not confidently hope for forgiveness, provided his repentance is honest. Christ who died for all men desires that in his Church the gates of forgiveness should always be open to anyone who turns away from sin.
 
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