No Eucharist until convalidation?

[Unique_name]

Okay, just to clarify for some of you:
My husband went through RCIA starting 3 years ago now. He was baptised and confirmed on Easter 2017, at a different parish all together. So it’s been a while so I would be really hard pressed to believe that the thought of scandal is what was causing this. Also, the RCIA he went to was at the same parish my family went to when I was a child and I remember my dad saying that particular RCIA was not a good one and did not accurately reflect the teachings of the Church. So even if my husband was questioned about his marriage (I want to say he was but I can’t remember for sure) I guess it’s not surprising that he didn’t get any follow up instruction on it.

At any rate, my priest doesn’t think I’m in mortal sin and is going to ask some others for advice on how to expedite the process so I don’t have to miss Eucharist for 2 weeks.

 

[TheHolyTrinity]

This blog seems to answer your questions quite well the blog talks about Abstaining From Conjugal Acts.

The Code of Canon Law, the official rule book of the Church, sets forth the approved form of the wedding ceremony. Baptized Catholics are to marry in a proper church building or at a shrine or sacred grotto with a priest or deacon officiating, unless they request dispensation from this required canonical form.

Without dispensation, Catholics who are married by non-Catholic ministers (or officials such as a justice of the peace or a ship’s captain) are not considered by the Church as validly joined in a sacramental union. The same holds true for divorced Catholics who remarry without first obtaining a decree of nullity from their first marriage.

Catholics are bound by canon law to marry only under certain conditions. Thus, for a Catholic, marrying outside the Church is considered grave sin. The Catholic who chooses to disobey the dictates of the Church is no longer considered to be in a state of grace and cannot receive holy communion. This can be a serious hindrance to the Catholic’s spiritual growth.

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[MiserereMei]

I was going to follow up, as promised, but a bunch of people already beat me to what I was going to say!

It must be said, though: you aren’t alone. I’m waiting on a radical sanation for my own invalid marriage (the process, though perhaps longer, is less burdensome on my Lutheran wife). Though my priest hasn’t expressly told me I can’t receive, he and I both know I shouldn’t. I also will not change my religion on forums like this to ‘Catholic’ until I am again in good standing and fully reconciled with the Church.

 

[LisaB]

She is a Catholic in an invalid marriage. Her priest told her to refrain from receiving communion until her marriage in convalidated in two weeks.

Marriage presumes marital relations, and she is abstaining so is not sinning. So technically she is no longer in an invalid marriage. I can understand the concern about scandal, if that is the case in her parish, but then she can receive in another parish.

Priests can make mistakes, we shouldn’t blindly follow what they say without at least understanding the reasoning and asking questions. The fact that it’s only two weeks has no baring on the matter. Glad she is asking for clarification.

 

[Horton]

Are you saying we should not follow the direction of our priest if we don’t understand or agree with it until someone from CAF tells us it’s OK?

The priest made a determination in this case, a valid determination, and the OP needs to be obedient to her priest.

 

[LisaB]

Are you saying we should not follow the direction of our priest if we don’t understand or agree with it until someone from CAF tells us it’s OK?

The priest made a determination in this case, a valid determination, and the OP needs to be obedient to her priest.

No, I’m saying she should seek clarification like she is doing, so she can confirm the priest understands the situation correctly, and also to understand his reasoning.

This would apply in any other situation in life where someone - no matter their authority level - tells you something that doesn’t make sense. You question it and seek clarification, if at all possible. Sometimes it won’t be possible, but this is not the case here.

 

[Unique_name]

Are you saying we should not follow the direction of our priest if we don’t understand or agree with it until someone from CAF tells us it’s OK?

I’m not looking for you guys to tell me “Your priest is mistaken, go ahead and take Eucharist.” I’m looking to a group of Catholics who understand Church doctrine better than I do to clarify what it is the Church teaches that would make any priest say what he has said while I await further information from him.
I can’t help it if I have a burning desire to understand everything. Lol. As I mentioned above, though, I have no intention of rebelling against my priests instructions any more than I have plans to become an anarchist. Doesn’t mean I can’t say, “Wait, what?” When I hear a politician say something that doesn’t make any sense to me.

 

[Unique_name]

And again, just to reiterate, I like my priest. He is a great one who loves Christ and performs his priestly duties well. Plus my 2 year old loves him. Haha I sincerely hope I haven’t given the impression that I had any ill feelings towards him. Sometimes people might think that to question someone or disagree with someone means that you are judging them, their character, their beliefs…whatever. That’s not the case. I’m seeking understanding and that means asking questions.
It maybe didn’t help that you don’t know me, don’t know my circumstances, and that I was distraught at the thought of not receiving the Eucharist this week which made for a more emotionally charged post. At any rate, if I have been the cause for scandal, I sincerely apologise.

 

[TheLittleLady]

The official name for allowing folks in irregular marriage situations to live as brother and sister while receiving the Sacraments is the “Internal Forum”. If you search CAF you will find many threads that go into detail.

Here is one article:

https://www.thepastoralreview.org/i...-pope-francis-and-the-internal-forum-solution

 

[HeDa]

In the parish where I was received, the RCIA deacon has a private meeting with everyone wanting to become Catholics. It is to sort out if there is anything that needs to be done before we can be received, as in looking into marriage validity if the person is married. He also meet with the spouse to ask if they would mind being married to a Catholic and explain what that means to family life.

Some are received at a later date due to previous marriage and divorce that they or their spouse have been in which needs to be looked at and took longer than expected. Others are received later as “the spouse needs to calm down” to put it politely. Often it is due to “what they have been taught about the Catholic Church but what the Catholic Church does not believe, profess or teach.”.

It seems like preparations are just as important for the spouse of the one being received into the Church. About a month ago I was asked why a man (in a different parish) received into the Church could not receive Holy Communion on the day when he was received. Seems like the problem was because he was in a previous marriage that wasn’t annulled as of yet. There are some priests/deacons and a lot of lay people teaching RCIA who are not fully aware of the Canon law, the process of how to do things and how long it takes. Unfortunately it is the people who are affected by the priest´s/deacon´s ignorance.

 

[ASC]

Don’t think of it as being forbidden. You are making a sacrifice which will increase your love and reverence for Jesus in this most Holy Sacrament.

 

[OldCAFMember]

I guess that I am at a loss to understand the fuss, if it’s only going to be two weeks. I really don’t.

 

[Jen7]

He figured, you didn’t know you were committing sacrilege, so you wouldn’t be guilty of it. Therefore, he didn’t tell you would not be guilty of sacrilege and fornication.

I think this is probably a sin on the priests part, honestly. It’s not okay (a la The Grand Inquisitor in “The Brother’s Karamazov”) to not “instruct the ignorant” (a spiritual work of mercy) regarding the objective sinfulness of something. I just had to do this with one of my kids last week. She was devastated: “I didn’t know I was sinning! I didn’t want to be sinning!!” I am sure God’s heart is warmed by these sentiments. But to “save” people from the upset of knowing they were unknowingly sinning… I think that’s a sin. The unknown sin just gains force of habit as time goes on & the person runs the risk of feeling helpless to stop or downright not caring by the time they eventually stumble across the truth. If someone is in our care & sinning unknowingly, I believe we need to not let false-compassion peas is to look the other way!

 

[Unique_name]

I’d be hesitant to call sin in someone who we’ve never met, and don’t know the circumstances surrounding the decision they made. Especially when it’s someone who has been given an authority we don’t have. I may not understand why my priest made the decision he did, but surely it’s not for us to speculate when we don’t know the reasoning behind his decision. Just a thought.

 

[Vico]

Help me understand this because I’m having a really hard time with it.

I left the Catholic Church in 2012. I was married in 2014, my husband converted from Protestantism to Catholicism in 2017, and I returned to the Church in August of this year.

Our priest had mentioned that we needed to get our marriage convalidated, but never made it seem like a time sensitive thing. The other day, on another thread on this forum, I learned that for every day my marriage wasn’t convalidated, I was living in sin because I was living with my husband and being intimate with him while not officially married in the eyes of the Church.

I asked my priest in an email and today my husband had a visit with him. During the visit, the priest said that in our particular situation and given our specific circumstances, we didn’t really have much culpability about it, but now that it’s been drawn to our attention, and going forward, that is the case.

He said my husband and I should continue to live in the same house and not separate, but abstain from sex, and even if we do abstain from sex, we can’t partake of Eucharist until our marriage is convalidated, which could be about two weeks.

I’m completely devastated. I don’t know what to do. We have three pre-marital counseling sessions to do, a focus test to take, and then we can have the convalidation. TWO WEEKS. The Eucharist is my life. I don’t understand how I can be barred from taking it over something that two days before we had little culpability over and that clearly wasn’t a big deal considering our priest knew our situation, gave us Eucharist, and never mentioned it.

From the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, 14 September 1994:

The faithful who persist in such a situation may receive Holy Communion only after obtaining sacramental absolution, which may be given only “to those who, repenting of having broken the sign of the Covenant and of fidelity to Christ, are sincerely ready to undertake a way of life that is no longer in contradiction to the indissolubility of marriage. This means, in practice, that when for serious reasons, for example, for the children’s upbringing, a man and a woman cannot satisfy the obligation to separate, they ‘take on themselves the duty to live in complete continence, that is, by abstinence from the acts proper to married couples’”(8). In such a case they may receive Holy Communion as long as they respect the obligation to avoid giving scandal.

http://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/c...oc_14091994_rec-holy-comm-by-divorced_en.html

 

[Jen7]

I’d be hesitant to call sin in someone who we’ve never met, and don’t know the circumstances surrounding the decision they made. Especially when it’s someone who has been given an authority we don’t have. I may not understand why my priest made the decision he did, but surely it’s not for us to speculate when we don’t know the reasoning behind his decision. Just a thought.

Well I certainly don’t judge the state of anyone’s soul… but it seems sinful to notice a person in a grave situation and say nothing. To what extent a specific individual is culpable is of course not mine to guess. But I can still say I think the act is sinful. Just like stealing is sinful and lust is sinful.