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Horton
Guest
Why wasn’t this addressed when you husband was in RCIA? Did he not tell them about his marital situation? Did they not ask?
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Wesrock
Guest
I wouldn’t be surprised if they were never asked. My wife and I weren’t. Neither were the other two mixed couples (with one partner in each being a lapsed Catholic) in my wife’s class. Everyone found out after.Unique_name:
Why wasn’t this addressed when you husband was in RCIA? Did he not tell them about his marital situation? Did they not ask?
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Powdercoater
Guest
Forgive me but I don’t get your anger. The Eucharist is the most important thing to you, but you left It and the Church anyway. I think it’s wonderful, though, that you’ve come back. Now you are being asked to wait just two weeks.
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Phemie
Guest
I’ve been wondering the same thing. Someone dropped the ball, big time.Unique_name:
Why wasn’t this addressed when you husband was in RCIA? Did he not tell them about his marital situation? Did they not ask?
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twf
Guest
I don’t understand why she couldn’t receive as long as she’s abstaining from relations…
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Phemie
Guest
Doesn’t the priest have an interview with each person wanting to be received into full communion or baptized? You’d think there’d be a check list like there is for a prenuptial investigation.Horton:
I wouldn’t be surprised if they were never asked. My wife and I weren’t. Neither were the other two mixed couples (with one partner in each being a lapsed Catholic) in my wife’s class. Everyone found out after.Unique_name:
Why wasn’t this addressed when you husband was in RCIA? Did he not tell them about his marital situation? Did they not ask?
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twf
Guest
I had to meet with my priest one on one about once a week for a year before he agreed to receive me into the Church… and I was a single 18 year old at the time. It seems to vary wildly… he repeatedly told me that joining the Church was as serious as getting married and required an equally deep level of prep.
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Unique_name
Guest
Because I was 18 and didn’t understand what I was leaving. It wasn’t the most important thing then, but now, 7 years later, it is.
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Unique_name
Guest
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Powdercoater
Guest
I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you are so young. I understand much better now.
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Horton
Guest
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runningdude
Guest
It is important to remember that the condition for being in a state of grace is to go to confession, and abstain from further sin. Nothing in your situation prevents you from going to confession. You are also free to attend mass or adoration frequently.
The priest is not going to butt in to your life without invitation. It is actually fairly rare for an invalidly married couple to want to fix the situation. Many, if not most, would bite the priest’s head off and tell him to mind his own business if confronted.
You priest, is thus, likely quite rusty on convalidation procedures.
I am unsure why your priest is advising you to refrain from communion. The only condition for reception is being in a state of grace (as mentioned, you are free to go to confession). If you do not engage in sinful behavior with your husband before the marriage is blessed, your priest could allow you to receive. I suspect, this may be an abundance of caution on his part, as convalidation is rare.
I am not a canon lawyer, and neither is your priest. He is likely doing the best he can navigating a complex field. I would encourage you spread as much time as you can in adoration and mass (even if you do not receive) during this transition time.
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LisaB
Guest
Have you tried asking the priest why he said no communion? What sin are you committing that would bar you from communion? Perhaps it’s just a misunderstanding, doesn’t make sense otherwise.twf:
And therein lies my frustration. I don’t get it either.
I am waiting too, for kind of similar reasons.
If that’s any help, what I am doing while I wait is regular adoration, attending mass as often as I can, and sometimes slipping away to spend some quiet time in front of the tabernacle. And say an Act of Spiritual Communion.
While I fully understand your frustration, and share in it, there is also a very good thing which is happening for me in that waiting, and that is letting the desire for the Eucharist grow with the consciousness of how much I need it.
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Phemie
Guest
I recall reading that a couple who is known to be in an invalid marriage should refrain from receiving Communion in a parish where they are known, even if they are living as brother and sister, to avoid scandal.
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Horton
Guest
She is a Catholic in an invalid marriage. Her priest told her to refrain from receiving communion until her marriage in convalidated in two weeks.
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TheLittleLady
Guest
I’m sorry that your priest did not explain the teachings on marriage to you 
Priests are human, sometimes they make mistakes. Your anger is understandable, and this is a chance to practice forgiveness.
Spend two weeks in anticipation, both of your upcoming marriage in the Church and reception of the Eucharist. Offer up your sufferings for those who have no access to a priest or the Sacraments.
Priests are human, sometimes they make mistakes. Your anger is understandable, and this is a chance to practice forgiveness.Spend two weeks in anticipation, both of your upcoming marriage in the Church and reception of the Eucharist. Offer up your sufferings for those who have no access to a priest or the Sacraments.
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TheLittleLady
Guest
God is mercy, He knows your desire and will bless your obedience in waiting these two weeks.
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Unique_name
Guest
Thanks all.
The thing that still bothers me is that if I’m being barred from Eucharist, then the implication is that I’m in mortal sin, no? And that there’s nothing I can do about it until my convalidation, right? Wouldn’t that mean that it’s not a mere case of not being able to take Eucharist, but that I’m not in a state of grace? And that even if I go to confession, I’m still screwed? That’s what I’m having a hard time understanding. My husband and I have been abstaining since I even thought there was a possibility we should, which I would think would make it that we aren’t in mortal sin?
If, like someone suggested, the Church is just basically taking a precaution just in case we have sex, wouldn’t it also be just as reasonable for the Church to be checking up on every married couple on fast days lest there be any doubt? The latter seems a preposterous idea, but it’s for the same reasons as my situation. Besides that, I didn’t know the Church was in the business of micromanaging the lives of it’s parishioners?
So if that’s not the case, and we aren’t fornicating, then by definition we cant be in mortal sin?
The thing that still bothers me is that if I’m being barred from Eucharist, then the implication is that I’m in mortal sin, no? And that there’s nothing I can do about it until my convalidation, right? Wouldn’t that mean that it’s not a mere case of not being able to take Eucharist, but that I’m not in a state of grace? And that even if I go to confession, I’m still screwed? That’s what I’m having a hard time understanding. My husband and I have been abstaining since I even thought there was a possibility we should, which I would think would make it that we aren’t in mortal sin?
If, like someone suggested, the Church is just basically taking a precaution just in case we have sex, wouldn’t it also be just as reasonable for the Church to be checking up on every married couple on fast days lest there be any doubt? The latter seems a preposterous idea, but it’s for the same reasons as my situation. Besides that, I didn’t know the Church was in the business of micromanaging the lives of it’s parishioners?
So if that’s not the case, and we aren’t fornicating, then by definition we cant be in mortal sin?
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