No holding hands during the "Our Father"

[richwmiller]

Holding Hands at Mass
ewtn.com/expert/answers/holding_hands_at_mass.htm

Concerning holding hands in the Eucharistic Liturgy the Congregation for Divine Worship in Rome responded as follows:

QUERY: In some places there is a current practice whereby those taking part in the Mass replace the giving of the sign of peace at the deacon’s invitation by holding hands during the singing of the Lord’s Prayer. Is this acceptable? REPLY: The prolonged holding of hands is of itself a sign of communion rather than of peace. Further, it is a liturgical gesture introduced spontaneously but on personal initiative; it is not in the rubrics. Nor is there any clear explanation of why the sign of peace at the invitation: “Let us offer each other the sign of peace” should be supplanted in order to bring a different gesture with less meaning into another part of the Mass: the sign of peace is filled with meaning, graciousness, and Christian inspiration. Any substitution for it must be repudiated: Notitiae 11 (1975) 226. [Notitiae is the journal of the Congregation in which its official interpretations of the rubrics are published.]

While this addresses the holding of hands at the Sign of Peace the reasons given apply also elsewhere in the Mass, including at the Our Father.

1. It is an inappropriate “sign,” since Communion is the sign of intimacy. Thus, a gesture of intimacy is introduced both before the sign of reconciliation (the Sign of Peace), but more importantly, before Holy Communion, the sacramental sign of communion/intimacy within the People of God.
2. It is introduced on personal initiative. The Holy See has authority over the liturgy according to Vatican II’s “Constitution on the Sacred Liturgy” #22 and canon 838 of the Code of Canon Law.

This gesture has come into widespread use, often leaving bishops and pastors at a loss as to how to reverse the situation. For individuals, I would recommend closed eyes and a prayerful posture as sufficient response, rather than belligerence. Most laity, and probably many priests, are blind to the liturgical significance of interrupting the flow of the Mass in this way. It is not necessary to lose one’s peace over this or be an irritation to others. Some proportion is required. If asked why you don’t participate, simply, plainly and charitably tell the questioner of your discovery. If some chance of changing the practice is possible talk to the pastor or work with other laity through the parish council. You can also write the bishop, as is your right in the case of any liturgical abuse not resolved at the parish level. If your judgment is that no change is possible then I believe you are excused from further fraternal correction.

I see several reasons for holding hands.
The first word of the prayer is “Our”.
We show our hope for communal unity of action by holding hands.
The Eucharist is the sign of unity of faith.
The “forgive us” also has “as we forgive”.
Holding hands hints at least to an attempt to forgive.

I find it appropriate.
It is not just a warm fuzzy feeling but joining our prayer with Jesus that “they may be one”

I have always suspected that those who oppose it are just not the hugging type and are probably the ones who need it most.

 

[Doug50]

I see several reasons for holding

I have always suspected that those who oppose it are just not the hugging type and are probably the ones who need it most.

Ah yes…It’s all about feelings and if you aren’t the “hugging type” then you need to change to be more like me. Your way and your reserveness are the wrong way and my feelings are the right way. Be like me.

 

[mommyof4]

Siouxbhoney, you have GOT to be from Sioux City, right?

 

[JKirkLVNV]

When Cardinal Arinze addressed this, he said that if people in a specific context wished to hold hands spontaneously (ie, husbands and wives, parents and children, etc.), it wasn’t forbidden, but that the idea that we all HAD to hold hands or that we all SHOULD hold hands wasn’t a part of the discipline of the Church surrounding the Mass. No one can be compelled to do so and it isn’t really appropriate outside those “spontaneous” or “natural” contexts (those are my words). You might reach over and take your wife’s hand or your child’s, but you wouldn’t reach over and take a friend’s hand (we don’t generally do that here anyway) and if you’re standing next to a stranger who doesn’t want in on the “daisy chain,” they can’t be made to hold hands and SHOULDN’T be made to feel like a less than loving Catholic for not holding hands.

I think that to formalize this gesture is to take the emphasis off of the union of the soul with Christ in the coming reception of Holy Communion and it duplicates and “steals the thunder,” as it were, of the Sign of Peace. We had a priest who tried to get our parish to join hands across the aisles. Most of my fellow parishoners do hold hands for the Our Father (I don’t), but they balked at this, it went over like a lead balloon, and it wasn’t mentioned again.

I wish the Church would simply outlaw it.

 

[siouxbhoney]

Siouxbhoney, you have GOT to be from Sioux City, right?

No, I’m not. People always ask that! I just had an old roommate who use to spell my name (Sue) as “sioux” when she left me notes around the house. Then we use to joke that was my “rapper” name. It kind of evolved into my computer name. My husband STILL can’t spell it.

 

[mommyof4]

No, I’m not. People always ask that! I just had an old roommate who use to spell my name (Sue) as “sioux” when she left me notes around the house. Then we use to joke that was my “rapper” name. It kind of evolved into my computer name. My husband STILL can’t spell it.

Ok, never mind. Back to our regularly scheduled thread…

 

[richwmiller]

Ah yes…It’s all about feelings and if you aren’t the “hugging type” then you need to change to be more like me. Your way and your reservedness are the wrong way and my feelings are the right way. Be like me.

Totally ignored the valid points that I made and zoomed in on that.

I didn’t say what you accuse. I gave my reasons why it is appropriate and took a stab at why someone might oppose it. I guess I hit home.
I didn’t say that someone who opposed it had no right to their opinion.
I didn’t say that everyone should hold hands.
I didn’t say that no one should hold hands.
I stated several reasons why I think it is appropriate.

 

[Walking_Home]

I see several reasons for holding hands.
The first word of the prayer is “Our”.
We show our hope for communal unity of action by holding hands.
The Eucharist is the sign of unity of faith.
The “forgive us” also has “as we forgive”.
Holding hands hints at least to an attempt to forgive.

I find it appropriate.
It is not just a warm fuzzy feeling but joining our prayer with Jesus that “they may be one”

I have always suspected that those who oppose it are just not the hugging type and are probably the ones who need it most.

---

You suspect wrong—and no–I don’t need to hold anyones hand to know I am in communion with them. I am in communion thru something/someone greater-- that far surpasses any hand–holding.
Communion thru Holy Communion and Christ Himself.

 

[paramedicgirl]

I think most people would agree that hand holding within your own family is fine, but to impose it on others is rather presumptuous. I hold my hands together against my chest in prayer during the Our Father, and once someone tried to grab my hand, but it wasn’t my hand they
grabbed. I guess slapping them wouldn’t have been appropriate decorum for the Mass, so I kept my hands to myself. Currently, at my church there is no hand holding.

 

[otjm]

That’s because this illicit practice snuck in the back door from Protestantism. It originated in the peace marches and demonstrations of the 1960s/70s. It is not part of the Mass.

Once again: the practice is not illicit.

Illicit implies that there is a law - a rubric - indicating the posture of one’s hands. Go read the GIRM; there is nothing in there about how one should hold one’s hands, either before, after, or during the Our Father. The word “illicit” has a specific meaning, and it is most certainly not “illict” to hold hands.

There is nothing in the GIRM indicating that you, or I, or anyone else in the pews can hold our hands palms together, with fingers either pointing out or interlaced. That doing such is considered almost universally to be a sign of prayer is neither here nor there; the point is, that position of your hands is not within the rules of the GIRM, and by your logic, would also be illicit.

The fact is, neither is illicit. The GIRM has gone through two revisions since hand holding during the Our Father started. The fact of the matter is that Rome simply has no interest in regulating posture that minutely. They certainly have had ample opportunities to do so and have repeatedly chosen not to address the issue, either through the GIRM, or more recently, Redemptionis Sacramentum.

The issue came up about what posture was indicated for one who has received the Eucharist and has returned to their pew; the way that the GIRM was written seemed to indicate that one was to stand. Rome’s response to the dubium was that they did not intend to regulate posture that strictly; the same applies to hand holding during the Our Father.

There may be very good reasons why holding hands at that time does not make particularly good liturgical sense. It is neither required nor prohibited, however, and the net result is that those so inclined should not be criticized, and those not so inclined should not be required to do so.

And there have been repeated comments by knowledgeable Protestants and ex-Protestants that they had never seen such until they came to the Catholic Church; if one wants to make the statement that it is a “protestentizing” of the Mass, one should at least back it up with factual information instead of just a slur.

 

[jaaraf]

When I was a kid a decade or so ago, we never held hands in praying the “Our Father”… Now a lot of churchgoers do but I don’t.

 

[otjm]

I have experienced parishes in which almost no one holds hands during the Our Father. I also have experienced parishes where almost everyone does.

The latter are by far in the greater majority.

Given the threads that have brought up the issue, it is obvious that some do not like to hold hands and prefer not to. However, while the practice is not universal, it is most certainly very, very widespread.

Thus, the comments that the bishops don’t have the backbone to outlaw it are very interesting. It is my take that the bishops see no need to outlaw it, as most people prefer the posture and it is ony the small minority that don’t. For all who say the bishops have no backbone, I suspect there are as many, if not more, who would say that the bishops have a backbone, and they use it to stand up to the demands of the small group.

Frankly, holding hands doses not make much liturgical sense. To say that it is horizontal is laughable, however; we do not worship as individuals but as community - and if you don’t believe that, go read St. Paul again and his repeated comments about the Body fo Christ. We are not alone; we are a community; and many feel that holding hands is an expression of that community worshiping together and saying a prayer that is explicitly not “My Father, who art in heaven”, but rather, “Our Father…”. Go read the words and pay attention; “we” and “our” run all through the prayer.

Having said that, as Archbishop Chaput has said, those who wish to hold hands should not be criticized, and those who choose not to should be allowed to not do so in peace, and charity should be expressed by both sides.

I simply don’t have a dog in the fight. If the person next to me wants to hold hands, fine; if they don’t, that is also fine. It just isn’t an issue. I have much greater issues to deal with; this simply doesn’t get onto the radar screen.

 

[Chovy]

I think it’s creepy.

Just my opinion.

I was thinking this exact same thing. It doesn’t bother me if husband and wife hold hands during the Our Father. I always make it very clear that I’m not intending to hold anyone else’s hand though.

 

[otjm]

You know, that’s a good point, especially the part where you said it “represents an aspiration, not a reality.”
I think that, in a perfect world, we would have church-goers who form a close, loving community that is itself devoted to the Eucharist, not a community that exists just for the sake of being a community.
In a perfect world, that is.
Anyhoo, I don’t think holding a total stranger’s hand necessarily brings you closer to said stranger and therefore it’s kind of pointless if you’re trying to “foster community.” What’s better for something like that is something that involves eye contact and maybe a smile, like, say, the sign of peace.

So where does one start to “foster community”? I have never been in a Catholic Church and sat next to a total stranger - they may not be someone I know, but they most certainly are not a total stranger - we are brothers and sisters in Christ. St Paul tells us we are members of the Body of Chriswt - if we are members of the same Body, we certainy are not “total strangers”.

Part of the problem with some parishes is that they treat one another as if they were total strangers; as if they individually came to Church to “get their fix” as it were, rather than worship together as part of the Mystical Body of Christ.

I do not suggest that hand holding would be the fix for those parishes. I think maybe a good dose of catechesis might.

 

[Eileen_T]

I posted this on another thread today
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?p=2622443#post2622443

Waddaya know? I just picked up this old mag. today and leafed through it before throwing it out.

According to a letter in This Rock, Oct. 1994, by a reader who claimed to have researched the matter, the holding of hands was brought in by the feminist movement and has its origins from the Wiccan ritual where the group joins hands to form the base of a cone.

Apparently, holding hands is to engender power as they pray: to spiral upwards from the base of the cone.

 

[otjm]

I posted this on another thread today
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?p=2622443#post2622443

And I suppose you believe everything you read?

Although the wiccan hodgepodge of this and that is attributed to Gerald Brousseau Gardner, who brought his research and beliefs to England in the 1950s and joined others involved in the occult, ascribing hand holding during the Our Father to that is at best laughable; that is nothing more than a post hoc, ergo propter hoc arguement.

The most that anyone has been able to trace it within the Catholic Church is to the Charismatic Movement within the Catholic Church in the 1960s. Ascribing it to the Wiccan movement is akin to conspiracy theories of the Illuminati. One might as well ascribe it to the game “ring around the rosy”, which dates itself back to, if I recall, the Black Plague.

 

[The_Catholic]

I once held an elderly man’s hand who looked very lonely, I was next t o my wife, and my mom next to her, but on my other side was the old man, and he looked jejoiced when I held his hand.

 

[EJM]

I once held an elderly man’s hand who looked very lonely, I was next t o my wife, and my mom next to her, but on my other side was the old man, and he looked jejoiced when I held his hand.

I’m sure he may have felt some happiness, but I bet he would have been just as or even more rejoiced if after mass you and your family took him by his hand and invited him to spend the afternoon together. May we all always look to comfort those for Christ, please pray for this.

You see, the reason christians are are in communion together are because of their union in Christ, not each other. Holding hands during Mass can become a false symbol of communion. Some or many people may hold hands during the Our Father, but then during the week they may not even go out of their way to help you or think of the Lord (I’m just generalizing).

It is Christ Jesus who is the source of communion, and without Him there is no communion with anyone else. If our thoughts and hearts are not transfixed on God, then we are not in communion with anybody else. Physically holding hands does not force or make communion in Christ. There have been many times when even after the Lord’s prayer has begun, I notice people walking up the ailes, across pews and so on just to hold hands with another person. This is when our thoughts and hearts need to be directed towards God, not ourselves or friends me may want to touch.

I just always think that if everyone in the church building had a deep relationship with Christ and at that moment is contemplating in prayer all that He has given us, then there would be a communion with each other that far extends past holding hands. That is something to rejoice in. I’m not against holding hands, hugging, kissing other’s in Christ, but to my perception it seems in general that this practice of holding hands during the Lord’s prayer during the eucharistic liturgy many times is against and can prohibit real communion in Christ.

Peace

 

[paramedicgirl]

I’m sure he may have felt some happiness, but I bet he would have been just as or even more rejoiced if after mass you and your family took him by his hand and invited him to spend the afternoon together. May we all always look to comfort those for Christ, please pray for this.

You see, the reason christians are are in communion together are because of their union in Christ, not each other. Holding hands during Mass can become a false symbol of communion. Some or many people may hold hands during the Our Father, but then during the week they may not even go out of their way to help you or think of the Lord (I’m just generalizing).

It is Christ Jesus who is the source of communion, and without Him there is no communion with anyone else. If our thoughts and hearts are not transfixed on God, then we are not in communion with anybody else. Physically holding hands does not force or make communion in Christ. There have been many times when even after the Lord’s prayer has begun, I notice people walking up the ailes, across pews and so on just to hold hands with another person. This is when our thoughts and hearts need to be directed towards God, not ourselves or friends me may want to touch.

I just always think that if everyone in the church building had a deep relationship with Christ and at that moment is contemplating in prayer all that He has given us, then there would be a communion with each other that far extends past holding hands. That is something to rejoice in. I’m not against holding hands, hugging, kissing other’s in Christ, but to my perception it seems in general that this practice of holding hands during the Lord’s prayer during the eucharistic liturgy many times is against and can prohibit real communion in Christ.

Peace

Very sensible post.

 

[ElectricMayhem]

“Green jacket, yellow jacket…”