No kissing before marriage?

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So im 17, and in my final year of school, im a devoted christian, and love god with all my heart.

while i have a strong conviction, and know that sex is something that i should, and want to definitely save for marriage.
i have conflicting feelings about kissing.

at my age many girls at school and girls i know from church have kissed both their boyfriends and random guys at parties.
and it is very tempting to do the same.
i am so tempted to the romantic nature of not kissing until marriage, and making it more special, but at the same time, i dont want that to be the only reason i make such a big decision.

at 17 i want to be able to kiss the right guy if he comes along, but then in torn, even though i would never ever go past a kiss, i dont want to regret the kiss.

basically, what im looking for are some real life stories, i want to learn from what other people did, their experiences, both good and bad. if you guys could share your story with me that would be awesome 🙂

its just i would rather have my stance on this all worked out before some i meet someone, and then have my decision clouded by my feelings for them… if that makes sense?
 
We’re not allowed to kiss for the sake of sensual pleasure, and we’re not allowed to enter into near occasions of sin, which is why one is not allowed to kiss before marriage, except a chaste peck on the cheek like you would give your aunt or mother.

Any activity that stirs up the generative passions is only allowed in the context of marriage and for the purposes accompanying actually engaging in the act.

So if you’re not married… and not going to be preparing for a potential baby…

If you think even a peck is going to lead to something more, you don’t do it. And generally that would be a temptation with a couple if they both -want- to kiss and are only holding back because they consider it a rule rather than abiding **by the spirit of guarding the heart **before marriage.

Which is what one is also supposed to do. Normally, secular people and of course, uneducated Catholics, will give their hearts to one another before they are married and engage in emotional and other activities only appropriate within the bonds of marriage. Later they break up, and they’ve already given of each other more inside their hearts than they should ever have someone they are not married to. They may never have even touched, but they spoke and shared emotional activities only a husband and wife should.

The sign that this is wrong is this – They have been, as it were, unfaithful, because their future spouse if that spouse were a witness to what they both shared the spouse would be hurt and they would be ashamed to have done it in the presence of that spouse.

The rule is: You do not do anything with anyone you should be ashamed to do in the presence of your husband or wife in the future witnessing it.

You save your heart for marriage. So you don’t engage in passionate kissing or any close physical contact that is a near occasion of sin or for arousing the sensual passions.

Such… reserve… or purity of heart… is what is appropriate but is not taught. But if you observe it you will not be faced with any guilt from any previous relationships you had in the future, because you will have done nothing to be ashamed of. 🙂
 
I guess I hold a minority vote in this one. I don’t see the harm in kissing before marriage. I think it is an excellent way for two people in a committed relationship to deepen their relationship and strengthen their attachment to each other. And the bond needs to be strong, because marriage is a major challenge! I also think there is nothing wrong with expecting people to take responsibility and to control their urges. Why would a loving kiss necessarily lead to things getting out of control? Are we not adults, capable of restraining ourselves?
 
Neithan said:
Ideally, I think when the priest or deacon says “You may now kiss the Bride” *that *should be the first *passionate *kiss between husband and wife.
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I thought that “you may now kiss the bride” wasn’t in the catholic rite of marriage.
 
Just so you know, the odds of finding a virgin are slim to none. Just so you know. having experience under your belt & chosing to remain celibate, that is a different story.
 
hey just wanna tell you all as a 22 year old in a committed relationship, waiting to get married next year, all the answers here are great… thank you all for being such good and disciplined, (name removed by moderator)iring catholics 😃
 
Scott_Waddell said:
While pre-martial kissing is not in itself wrong, no one should tell you that you are crazy for waiting untill marriage to do it either. Fewer presents opened before marriage means a wedding night with many presents to open.
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that is a really really good quote:thumbsup:👍👍
 
I had a theology teacher that dated his wife for 4 years and kissed her for the first time on their wedding day
 
wcknight said:
That’s a pretty tough request, and my guess is that the percentage of folks who didn’t kiss passionately during courtship before marriage is less than one tenth of one percent.

Of course, just because everyone else is doing it, doesn’t make it right. I’d be curious to find out if anyone on these boards held off kissing until after marriage.
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And the error of the 0.1% does not define what is proper for the other 99.9%
 
Neithan said:
huh? Given the shortage of vocations in Europe and America–I’d say *too many *Catholics are marrying… and if less of us married, then there would be much less dissent over contraception, since big families would be necessary 🙂

Ideally, I think when the priest or deacon says “You may now kiss the Bride” *that *should be the first *passionate *kiss between husband and wife. Since passionate kissing really is intimate and erotic physical contact, it should be saved for marriage.
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You would save the first passionate kiss all that time only to have it in public in front of a crowd?
 
We went on a dark path before we got married, when we were having our conversion of a deeper faith in the Church (we were already engaged then) we decided to abstain from sex until we got married. But that did not stop us from kissing, hugging and holding hands all together. We still wanted to be affectionate with each other without crossing that line until we said our vows.

It s a basic human need to be touched. A hug, a kiss, a pat on the back, hold hands. We need the touch to feel that we are loved and comforted by a community or by someone close to us. the problem is that some people do not have self control, self awareness, and discipline when it comes to these things and tend to fall into the temptation and sin.
 
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