No, we don’t need to be scared of kissing. We need to be aware of what it is we’re doing and what we are telling someone when we kiss that person. It has nothing to do with fear and everything to do with communication, as LeahInancsi said.
In response to your question, Leah, maybe I should clarify something in my post: when I say saving your first kiss is a sacrifice and it’s probably a good one, I don’t mean that not making the sacrifice implies it’s not good. People can choose to do either one, but we need to recognize the context and reasons.
We can become too prudish and oversexualize simple things if we always equate kissing with leading to sex (it doesn’t nor should it). On the flip side we can lose the meaning of a kiss if we just say “well, it’s not touching and it’s not sex so it’s ok” (my words, not yours, don’t worry!).
Now to the answer: yes, I did verbalize my feelings of affection towards her. However, the meaning of kissing was lost once we got more passionate about it because it focused on pleasure and not authentic love. Communication would break down over other issues, and the pleasure of kissing got in the way of us working out problems. Perhaps if we stopped to really think about what a kiss meant and to realize that passionate kisses are better left to where passions are allowed to work then we could have made better progress.
So, if someone chooses to kiss, fine; if not, fine. Just make sure your reasons for doing so are properly aligned and that if you do choose to kiss then you do it in accord with your state of life.
