No sacraments this Easter

[FAB]

Guys, you are MISSING the point. The Priest told her correctly. The issue isn’t that her marriage isn’t valid with the Church if she seeks a convalidation. It’s that she doesn’t want it to be recognized b/c she wants to open to divorce and leaving her husband for someone else!!!

The Priest is correct.

Since there wouold be no convalidation since the civil marriage is valid. A convalidation would only happen if one party were Catholic, and that is not the case.
As I stated elsewere, even after recieving sacraments the marriage remains valid, because it was valid when vowes were exchanged.

 

[Joan_M]

:bighanky: For the past two years of my life I’ve been atteding RCIA classes to receive my sacraments (Baptism, Confirmation, and Holy Communion) which was planned to take place this 2012 Easter. But just a few days ago I was informed by my RCIA teacher that he was very sorry but that I wouldn’t be coming into the Catholic Church this Easter (due to my “mortal sin” status with my legal husband, Well, not only did he give the options to either marry him thru the Catholic Church or leave him completely
**Now, the first question here is why is the Parish Priest telling you this? If neither you nor your husband was Catholic and it was a first marriage for both of you, your marriage is considered to be valid. If one of you had been married before, then the marriage is not valid and the spouse who had been previously married would have to apply for a declaration of nullity. You say nothing about this, so it appears that neither of you had been married previously.

I cannot, therefore, imagine why the parish Priest would say what you have told us he said. Is it possible that your husband had been Catholic and left the Catholic church? That is the only way I could see the priest telling you needed to marry him in the church or leave him.

** 1.) I have a troublesome marriage with my husband, and since he’s baptized Christian, he doesn’t have the intentions of becoming Catholic or attending Catholic happenings with me…

For non-Catholic Christians, civil marriage is VALID. Yes, legally you can get a divorce, but, if both parties are Christian, the marriage is sacramentally valid and is not dissolved by a divorce. Divorce is strictly a civil matter.

You can only be married thru the Catholic Church ONCE, and for the rest of your life…it’s something I highly admire, respect, believe in, yet am troublesome about simply because I might not ever have that with him.
2.) If I was to take the other option, which is to leave him completely (since I’m so “unhappy” with him) then I would have to remain a single mother… How long does it take to convince you that you need to leave him? “bad ways”, “addictions” - it appears that he is not a good man. W

Now when I went to speak with my parish priest not only did he make me feel as if I was “unworthy” to receive the blessed sacraments but he also had the nerve to criticize my demeanor …

**We are all unworthy to receive the Blessed Sacrament, but that’s why Jesus gave it to us. We need it, just as seriously ill people need medicine.

The priest “had the nerve to criticize” your “demeanor”. Well, from reading your post, it seems he needed to do that.
**
…but I also know and believe that when you pass judgement on others because of the way they look or portray themselves you are ALSO condemning yourself!!!

You went to the priest to discuss why you would not be received into the church this year. He told you why. It is a part of any priest’s responsibility to advise people if their behavior is detrimental to their soul. You have an incorrect understanding about judging. We all must make judgements all the time. Otherwise how would we know if what we were doing was right or wrong? And we have the responsibility to warn others if what they are doing is wrong. Would you ignore someone who was about to do something dangerous, or would you warn them? It is only if you tell someone that you are going to Hell because of what you have done or are doing that you are wrong.

Now I didn’t disrespect the priest in anyway, even if I felt like doint it, so I took that in and cried about it instead (which he didn’t care to console) and he led me to his office door exit and his last words were that I was dismissed…

Perhaps, after he had talked with you about what you need to do, you argued with him and, in order to end the meeting, he felt he was forced to escort you to the door and dismiss you. If there was nothing more to be said, the meeting needed to end.

Now I’m thinking that I should just go and explore my options with other Catholic Churches in my area or to even go and speak to my local Bishop which is a few miles away in San Angelo, Tx. Will anyone please advise me any further in what I could do please?

**Perhaps you need to discuss the matter with another priest. Posting here certainly has not resulted in much good advice, from what I have read - and I have read all the posts.

You need to, instead of going into all the reasons you don’t seem to know whether you should stay with him or leave, state the situation clearly and concisely.

You are in RCIA.
Your husband is not a Catholic (or your husband was baptized Catholic but has left the church) This is very important, as it can change your situation.
****Neither of you were married before (or, one or both of you were married before) This is also very important.
You were married in a civil ceremony.

If your husband was not a Catholic (ever) and neither of you were married before, then you are in a valid marriage right now and nothing more needs to be done about it.

If your husband was previously a Catholic, and/or either of you was married before, then you are not in a valid marriage and you need to decide what you are going to do to change your situation.

You cannot be received into the Church while in an invalid marriage.

If you truly believe that the Catholic Church is the True Church instituted by Jesus, then you will do whatever you need to do to become a part of it. God must come first.
**

 

[Leegal]

Non baptised person(female) + baptised non catholic (male) does not = living in sin: in the eyes of the Church the marriage is valid since there are not rules that apply to the non-catholic baptised male or to her as an unbaptised female.
The only way they could be seen as living in sin is if one of them were now catholic and they have a civil marriage.

There can be no convalidation at this point because neither is Catholic. I would have to verify with my tribunal, if I were involved in this case, but I don’t believe that the marriage would be convalidated after the now none Catholic is baptized, because at the point of exchanging vows the marriage is valid.

Both the priest and the RCIA director are wrong to deny her the sacraments.

One of them is trying to become a Catholic and they have a civil marriage.

The minute he Baptises – she is Catholic. So …

Now what about that civil marriage at home - the one she is holding on to for nursing school or until some Catholic guy shows up?

Do you think the priest does not understand the full circumstances?

What about this part because that civil marriage works out fine in case she wants to leave. She already has divorce on her mind and she’s not entering the Church with full acceptance of it’s teachings – which is why they denied her the sacraments.

“I don’t think I should take that risk, because if I was to ever divorce him or just leave him, and sometime down the line I was to meet a better, even Catholic devoted man who’d like to lead me down the aisle, then I wouldn’t have that opportunity in my disposition. You can only be married thru the Catholic Church ONCE, and for the rest of your life…it’s something I highly admire, respect, believe in, yet am troublesome about simply because I might not ever have that with him.”

I may have misued convalidate, I admit – rather the priest wants them to go through a Catholic marriage – yet even she is not willing to do that (and neither is the non-Catholic husband) because the civil marriage more serves her purpose which is to LEAVE. So, the option is to separate but that’s not in her plan either.

Do you think the priest does not “get it?”

 

[Texas_Roofer]

Non baptised person(female) + baptised non catholic (male) does not = living in sin: in the eyes of the Church the marriage is valid since there are not rules that apply to the non-catholic baptised male or to her as an unbaptised female.
The only way they could be seen as living in sin is if one of them were now catholic and they have a civil marriage.

There can be no convalidation at this point because neither is Catholic. I would have to verify with my tribunal, if I were involved in this case, but I don’t believe that the marriage would be convalidated after the now none Catholic is baptized, because at the point of exchanging vows the marriage is valid.

Both the priest and the RCIA director are wrong to deny her the sacraments.

Since there wouold be no convalidation since the civil marriage is valid. A convalidation would only happen if one party were Catholic, and that is not the case.
As I stated elsewere, even after recieving sacraments the marriage remains valid, because it was valid when vowes were exchanged.

FAB
She made it clear she does not intend to live consistent with Catholic Beliefs. Whether she is willing to say she will is a different issue. She repeatedly inform the Priest she is only civilly married and free to leave her marriage, she intends to keep this free to leave marriage, and is even consider marrying the right man latter. She does not allow the Church to infringe on her decisions about marriage. The Catholic Church considers marriage more than paperwork

Any sacrament awarded are invalid by her refusal to accept the Church teaching and being obstinate on the Church teachings on marriage.

 

[Texas_Roofer]

One of them is trying to become a Catholic and they have a civil marriage.

The minute he Baptises – she is Catholic. So …

Now what about that civil marriage at home - the one she is holding on to for nursing school or until some Catholic guy shows up?

Do you think the priest does not understand the full circumstances?

What about this part because that civil marriage works out fine in case she wants to leave. She already has divorce on her mind and she’s not entering the Church with full acceptance of it’s teachings – which is why they denied her the sacraments.

“I don’t think I should take that risk, because if I was to ever divorce him or just leave him, and sometime down the line I was to meet a better, even Catholic devoted man who’d like to lead me down the aisle, then I wouldn’t have that opportunity in my disposition. You can only be married thru the Catholic Church ONCE, and for the rest of your life…it’s something I highly admire, respect, believe in, yet am troublesome about simply because I might not ever have that with him.”

I may have misued convalidate, I admit – rather the priest wants them to go through a Catholic marriage – yet even she is not willing to do that (and neither is the non-Catholic husband) because the civil marriage more serves her purpose which is to LEAVE. So, the option is to separate but that’s not in her plan either.

Do you think the priest does not “get it?”

To the best of my understanding, it matters little if she reverses ground and claims to love him forever and ever because she has already pledged marriage, and thus is not free to have a sacramental marriage with the new un-named catholic man. In the eyes of the Church she is married until proven otherwise. The issue here is she is proving otherwise first and making it a condition she requires the Church to accept. This action (self defined marriage) is clearly an impediment to receiving any sacrament

 

[puzzleannie]

:bighanky: For the past two years of my life I’ve been atteding RCIA classes to receive my sacraments (Baptism, Confirmation, and Holy Communion) which was planned to take place this 2012 Easter. But just a few days ago I was informed by my RCIA teacher that he was very sorry but that I wouldn’t be coming into the Catholic Church this Easter (due to my “mortal sin” status with my legal husband, who’ve I’ve been with for the past seven years). Now, as disappointed as I am, I went to speak with my Catholic Perish Priest for some guidance or advice to what I could do. :ehh: Well, not only did he give the options to either marry him thru the Catholic Church (which he has no intention to do) or leave him completely (in which I’m to remain single and celibate for at least six months). Well there’s a few ?

dont understand poll choices
this cannot possibly be the first time in two years a catechist, RCIA director or priest has asked about and discussed your marital situation. This should have been covered in your first meetings in an interview with the pastor or his representative when you started RCIA.

There is no way to answer a question on your personal marriage situation because there is too much missing info, and it would do not good anyway to give a long distance answer.

You may certainly call the bishop’s office in San Angelo and be referred to someone who can assist you with both the marriage issue and the RCIA issue, but be advised they will tell you first to talk to your pastor.

You need another interview with him, like now.
If you are being baptized, and your husband was never baptized Catholic, your civil marriage is both legal and valid, so no convalidation is necessary, and there is no issue of any sin–that is the issue that raises the most questions.

Your priest’s response tells me there is more to the story–more than we have any right to ask about. No priest will convalidate a marriage that is in trouble, either, so you need to have this discussion with your priest.
Be up front and honest about all details of your marriage situation.
Has either of you been baptized, was your husband ever Catholic?
Has either of you been married before? If either of you was previously married and divorce, you were not free to marry and the Church still considers you married to your ex, so no, nothing can be done until that situation is rectified.

I see the OP has not even come back so I assume she is not searching for an answer, just venting her frustration.

At least half and probably more of the advice offered by other posters is irrelevant or just plain wrong, it is hopeless to try to diagnose individual marriage situations long distance on this forum. All we can do is state the Catholic teaching, we cannot apply it to an individual situation.

 

[FAB]

Do you think the priest does not “get it?”

Yes, priest can often get the number of senarios wrong.
It is her wish to be Catholic, there are no impedaments from doing so. She could change her mind about her husband, the priest should recommend councelling for them. It might be possible to save the marriage, there are signs that she is wreslting with the idea.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

dont understand poll choices

I think she made the poll quite by accident, it doesn’t seem relevant.

 

[Fone_Bone_2001]

We don’t disagree. If neither spouse has ever been married before and neither spouse is Catholic, then the union they are in is valid and recongized by the Church and there is no reason that she cannot recieve the sacraments.

Oh, sorry - I didn’t mean to say “FAB” where I did; for some reason, I mistook your screen name for the name of the OP. I know from the content of your post that we are in full agreement.

It doesn’t. It sounds to me like her husband does not want to convalidate because it is in the Catholic Church. They are already married by form of whichever faith they were practicing (making the assumption) - this does not change validity.

Exactly; something is not adding up. The OP writes as though she’s been given the impression that their marriage requires convalidation… but from her description, it doesn’t seem possible that the Church doesn’t already recognize their marriage.

She cannot because by not convalidating or leaving (neither of which she intends to do) she is living in sin.

But if the marriage is already valid, then no convalidation is required. She seems to have been given the impression that one is needed, but that doesn’t add up, because the Church recognizes non-Catholic marriages by default. If neither she nor her husband has ever been married before, then she needs to contact the diocese and get answers. From what she’s said, it appears she’s in a valid natural marriage already.

Guys, you are MISSING the point. The Priest told her correctly. The issue isn’t that her marriage isn’t valid with the Church if she seeks a convalidation. It’s that she doesn’t want it to be recognized b/c she wants to open to divorce and leaving her husband for someone else!!!

Then why was she talking about convalidation? The only reason she’d be doing that would be if she was led to believe that one was needed. If she’s already married, no convalidation is necessary or even possible, and if she’s not validly married, then she’s not bound to her husband anyway. She needs to contact her diocese to straighten this out. Either something in her description was mistakenly inaccurate, or her priest is incorrect about the need for a convalidation.

One of them is trying to become a Catholic and they have a civil marriage.

The minute he Baptises – she is Catholic. So …

Now what about that civil marriage at home - the one she is holding on to for nursing school or until some Catholic guy shows up?

That civil marriage is binding until death, and because she indicated her husband has been baptized, that marriage will automatically become Sacramental when she enters the Catholic Church.

I think you’re misjudging the issue: she said her distress began when she was told she is living in sin. If what she has described is accurate, then she is in no way living in sin - she and her husband have a valid marriage.

I may have misued convalidate, I admit – rather the priest wants them to go through a Catholic marriage

If they are (a) not Catholic and never have been, and (b) each other’s first spouse, then “going through a Catholic marriage” is not to be done, because they are already married validly.

She seems to have been given the impression she’s living in sin… why is that the case? The Church presumes marriages between non-Catholics to be valid natural marriages…

If you are being baptized, and your husband was never baptized Catholic, your civil marriage is both legal and valid, so no convalidation is necessary, and there is no issue of any sin–that is the issue that raises the most questions.

Exactly. Until that matter is cleared up, it’s foolish for us random Internet people to attempt to comment on the other aspects (i.e. leaving her husband, etc.).

 

[mi6vida9loca]

Yes there is: she wrote it herself. She’s of a mind to divorce her husband already, when he’s done paying for nursing school. The priest is likely aware that this marriage is to finish nursing school and then she’s out the door, or at least out the door when some Catholic man comes along. He cannot validate a marriage that she already is considering leaving. She wants to have the Church and the option to leave this man when she’s finished with nursing school or if someone else comes along. That civil marriage is her “out” as long as the priest does not convalidate it but she lives in sin. She wants it both ways.

"with the troublesome civil marriage I already have with him, I don’t think I should take that risk, because if I was to ever divorce him or just leave him, and sometime down the line I was to meet a better, even Catholic devoted man who’d like to lead me down the aisle, then I wouldn’t have that opportunity in my disposition.

:tsktsk: Allow me to clarify this right quick because many of you are indeed making some very good points (I appreciate you) but to the people who are completely turning the whole scenario into a “I’m only using him for my school or till I find someone better kind of deal” are making this discussion a little bit more COMPLICATED than what I’m already facing & having to deal with!!! :nunchuk: PLEASE DO NOT make idiotic assumptions about what I’m trying to actually state. Now I’m not “using” my current legal husband (WE BOTH HAVE NEVER BEEN MARRIED BEFORE>>>THIS IS OUR FIRST MARRIAGE EVER)…what I’m trying to say or let alone explain is that we have alot of problems in our marriage mostly because like I had ALREADY stated that he has certain personal ‘demons’ to overcome and “addictions” which I choose NOT to address out of RESPECT for our private relationship and because it’s also embarrasing for me. What I am trying to say and I WILL SAY IT is like this: >>> I love him very dearly!!! How can I not??? He’s the Father of our son and I’ve been with him for seven years!!! With all truth he truly is a GOOD man, but like all of us he has his defects!!! If yall don’t understand where his defects take place is things like “drinking”, “partying”,“coming home in hours of the morning or sometimes not coming home at all”, “bar-hoping”, we also have had an “abusive” type of relationship, etc. >>>>>>>>>>>> Hopefully now that I’ve been a little bit more discriptive, yall can understand where this is going and I won’t have to go into further detail!!! This is SHAMEFUL to ME!!! As a woman, as a wife & mother…this relationship has degraded me to the lowest that you can imagine…please follow me…I hope yall can understand what I’m stating…I don’t wish to leave him, but if he will not change…then I have no other choice but to think about OUR SON and MYSELF!!! Nowadays, if you don’t have some kind of College education or career it’s hard to support yourself, especially when you’re a single parent with mandatory obligations and expectations to fullfill!!! Now I am thankful & appreciative for the good he has done for us as a family, but I’m also aware that his “putting me thru Nursing school” is like a “I owe you” type of deal for the numerous times that he’s deeply hurted and insulted me, etc. It’s as if he’s trying to do me some kind of favor because he actually somewhere in there has a conscience of what he’s done!!! Now I don’t mean to sound deceptive or conaving but any of you women who have experienced bad, dysfunctional relationships as what I’m going thru right now, then yall would have some kind of idea and understanding about me and where I’m coming from…if my husband doesn’t wish to save his soul or his son’s or mine…then guess what??? I WILL!!! If I have to struggle by myself, then I will do it!!! I will not lose my salvation with God, and I will not leave my son astray…I want better for him and for myself. I’ve already spoken clearly with my husband about this and about what I need/want from him, and it’s like I already stated…he’s not ready for change, he doesn’t have a relationship with God or mass or anything spiritual because he wishes not to, even if he is a Baptized Christian (it’s not like he actually lives the faith). Now me on the other hand, I’ve been on the road to change my ways and everything bad about me… I YEARN FOR GOD, and to have a relationship with him…and I was very much looking forward to this Easter for the past two years because I saw it as my SALVATION!!! Now, I’ve been mislead, mistreated, AND misunderstood…PLEASE DO NOT MAKE ASSUMPTIONS OF ME THAT YOU DO NOT KNOW…it’s like I already stated too…BY JUDGING OTHERS: YOU ARE ALSO CONDEMNING YOURSELF…and to those of you with good intentions and understanding towards me, I appreciate your prayers and advice, please continue to support me with your kind words or reassurance and compassion…may GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU!!!

 

[Fone_Bone_2001]

:tsktsk: Allow me to clarify this right quick because many of you are indeed making some very good points (I appreciate you) but to the people who are completely turning the whole scenario into a “I’m only using him for my school or till I find someone better kind of deal” are making this discussion a little bit more COMPLICATED than what I’m already facing & having to deal with!!! :nunchuk: PLEASE DO NOT make idiotic assumptions about what I’m trying to actually state. Now I’m not “using” my current legal husband (WE BOTH HAVE NEVER BEEN MARRIED BEFORE>>>THIS IS OUR FIRST MARRIAGE EVER)…what I’m trying to say or let alone explain is that we have alot of problems in our marriage mostly because like I had ALREADY stated that he has certain personal ‘demons’ to overcome and “addictions” which I choose NOT to address out of RESPECT for our private relationship and because it’s also embarrasing for me. What I am trying to say and I WILL SAY IT is like this: >>> I love him very dearly!!! How can I not??? He’s the Father of our son and I’ve been with him for seven years!!! With all truth he truly is a GOOD man, but like all of us he has his defects!!! If yall don’t understand where his defects take place is things like “drinking”, “partying”,“coming home in hours of the morning or sometimes not coming home at all”, “bar-hoping”, we also have had an “abusive” type of relationship, etc. >>>>>>>>>>>> Hopefully now that I’ve been a little bit more discriptive, yall can understand where this is going and I won’t have to go into further detail!!! This is SHAMEFUL to ME!!! As a woman, as a wife & mother…this relationship has degraded me to the lowest that you can imagine…please follow me…I hope yall can understand what I’m stating…I don’t wish to leave him, but if he will not change…then I have no other choice but to think about OUR SON and MYSELF!!! Nowadays, if you don’t have some kind of College education or career it’s hard to support yourself, especially when you’re a single parent with mandatory obligations and expectations to fullfill!!! Now I am thankful & appreciative for the good he has done for us as a family, but I’m also aware that his “putting me thru Nursing school” is like a “I owe you” type of deal for the numerous times that he’s deeply hurted and insulted me, etc. It’s as if he’s trying to do me some kind of favor because he actually somewhere in there has a conscience of what he’s done!!! Now I don’t mean to sound deceptive or conaving but any of you women who have experienced bad, dysfunctional relationships as what I’m going thru right now, then yall would have some kind of idea and understanding about me and where I’m coming from…if my husband doesn’t wish to save his soul or his son’s or mine…then guess what??? I WILL!!! If I have to struggle by myself, then I will do it!!! I will not lose my salvation with God, and I will not leave my son astray…I want better for him and for myself. I’ve already spoken clearly with my husband about this and about what I need/want from him, and it’s like I already stated…he’s not ready for change, he doesn’t have a relationship with God or mass or anything spiritual because he wishes not to, even if he is a Baptized Christian (it’s not like he actually lives the faith). Now me on the other hand, I’ve been on the road to change my ways and everything bad about me… I YEARN FOR GOD, and to have a relationship with him…and I was very much looking forward to this Easter for the past two years because I saw it as my SALVATION!!! Now, I’ve been mislead, mistreated, AND misunderstood…PLEASE DO NOT MAKE ASSUMPTIONS OF ME THAT YOU DO NOT KNOW…it’s like I already stated too…BY JUDGING OTHERS: YOU ARE ALSO CONDEMNING YOURSELF…and to those of you with good intentions and understanding towards me, I appreciate your prayers and advice, please continue to support me with your kind words or reassurance and compassion…may GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU!!!

I’m so sorry for everything you’ve suffered. And I’m sorry that some posters here have been implying or asserting bad things about you.

If everything you’ve said is true, please note that you do not require a convalidation: your marriage is valid in the eyes of the Church already. I recommend you contact your diocese for assistance.

Concerning the matters to which you alluded, may God bless you and your family and may you be able to work these issues out for the good of you, your child, and your husband.

This is really none of my business, but you should know that if worse comes to worst, the Church respects that sometimes a separation - and, if legally required, a secular divorce - is necessary. If that became necessary, you could still receive the Sacraments unless you remarried without an annulment.

But obviously that is a matter for you to work out with those who know you, not us random Internet people.

The most important thing here is that you should contact your diocese: I see nothing that should stand in the way of your fully entering into the Catholic Christian faith this Easter. Thus I prayerfully exhort you to call your diocese so you can work this out. If what you’ve said here is true, complete, and accurate, then regardless of what happens in the future your marriage does not require convalidation and you are not living in sin.

God bless you, friend!

 

[mi6vida9loca]

THANK ALL OF YOUR POSITIVE, GENUINE, GOD-LOVING, MERCIFUL, AND UNDERSTANDING PEOPLE!!! YOUR WORDS, EXPRESSIONS, AND ADVISE HAVE GIVEN ME COURAGE AND OPTIMISM… I WISH TO SAVE MY MARRIAGE…BUT IF IT CAN’T THEN I’D HAVE TO GO THRU THIS JOURNEY ALONE…OR WHATEVER ELSE GOD MAY HAVE PLANNED FOR ME… I WISH TO KNOW GOD, SAVE MY SOUL, AND THOSE I LOVE…ALSO BEFORE I FORGET TO THAT PERSON WHO ADVISED ME TO LEARN ABOUT ST. RITA…PLEASE BE AWARE THAT I’VE ALREADY CONSIDERED THAT, AND I’VE ALSO LEARNT OF OTHER INSPIRING SAINTS AS ST. MONICA AND ST. THERESE…ETC. THIS JOURNEY OF FAITH HAS OPENED UP ALOT OF CONFIDENCE AND HOPE IN ME…MAY GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU WHO WISH ME WELL AND DEFEND MY DIGNITY AS A WOMAN AND ENCOURAGE ME TO CONTINUE TO TRY AND HOPEFULLY RECEIVE MY GRACE… I’M VERY THANKFUL MY FELLOW PEOPLE… :console:

 

[YoungCanRCMale]

By all means, increase the sin and use the husband, who she never said was harsh and cruel to her, but instead seems to be a good provider in that he’s paying for her to go to nursing school, and then dump him, but before that secretly move things into her own name. You assume that he’s horrible to her and the child-- nowhere does she state this.

Her problem is that she knows (and so does the priest) that once she takes the sacraments that marriage means forever which is why she does not want to convalidate it – and she’s not so sure she wants forever with this man, but he is paying for that nursing school. On the other hand that more devoted Catholic man may show up too. Just keeping her options open.

And one wonders why the priest won’t give her the sacraments? And the priest was not more comforting because the priest cannot give her what she wants and then automatically allow her to live in sin. We don’t get to pick and choose the parts or doctrine we like and the parts we don’t like. What’s that called?

Leegal, I wasn’t intentionally trying to give suggestions that would increase the sin she would commit. It’s just that, if you have been on this site for a while, and read the This Rock excerpts combined with all the anti-Church news reports in the world, you’d realize that other Christians hate the Church or try to slam it down and force us to convert to their sect of Christianity, unless that person in Ch.INO so will be OK with the person being Catholic → Christian in name only (I use CINO for Catholics INO).

Thing is, the Catholic faith should be her ABSOLUTE number one priority. Divorce is messy legally, and financially could make life extremely hard for her, were she to separate now with child in tow and no means to financially support herself and the kid. Is it doable without her nursing degree? possibly, but extremely challenging. At least nursing is an in-demand job that pays above minimum wage in developed countries, and unions may even give additional rights to nurses and priviledged, like mat leaves for future pregnancies, entitlements of holidays and paid vacations, health insurance that may extend to dependents, etc.

Also, many situations do not end up like St. Rita’s in real life. How many times have we read postings on this board of the husbands becoming more irate and angry or hostile towards the partners pursual of the faith or being Catholic? Some people even have to run for the sake of their Catholic faith and their kids’. If she stays who knows how worse it will get, and what about that child? Shouldn’t he/she be brought to the fullness of the Catholic faith? What if under the husband’s reign that child is never brought to the Catholic Church? And if you throw Nostra Aetate and the other ecumenical stuff from V-II at me, yes I’m aware there’s elements of truth in other faiths including Christian sects and the kid can get validly baptized if it’s a Trinitarian Formula sect. But that kid may become so indoctrinated by his environment, be it the secular world or the husband that even when that kid turns 18, he/she will never pursue the faith in his lifetime because of this environment and be like the “walking dead” without a miracle from the Lord or a powerful mentor/experience.

So that’s why I gave the suggestions I did.

 

[JM3]

go and speak to my local Bishop

Despite the verbiage, this is your next step.

 

[joanofarc2008]

Despite the verbiage, this is your next step.

I second this - and please I hope that you will take this situation as a Cross and an opportunity to bring you closer to Christ in His Passion.

 

[Sacred_Heart_1]

:bighanky: For the past two years of my life I’ve been atteding RCIA classes to receive my sacraments (Baptism, Confirmation, and Holy Communion) which was planned to take place this 2012 Easter. But just a few days ago I was informed by my RCIA teacher that he was very sorry but that I wouldn’t be coming into the Catholic Church this Easter (due to my “mortal sin” status with my legal husband, who’ve I’ve been with for the past seven years). Now, as disappointed as I am, I went to speak with my Catholic Perish Priest for some guidance or advice to what I could do. :ehh: Well, not only did he give the options to either marry him thru the Catholic Church (which he has no intention to do) or leave him completely (in which I’m to remain single and celibate for at least six months). Well there’s a few problems with those two choices: :juggle:
1.) I have a troublesome marriage with my husband, and since he’s baptized Christian, he doesn’t have the intentions of becoming Catholic or attending Catholic happenings with me…in other words…he’s not ready for “Change” (which deeply burdens me because I’ve been trying to get him to morally change for the better). Now from what I’ve learned so far in the Catholic faith; a Church marriage is FOREVER!!! it’s a life-long deal until death do you apart…and I believe in it, but what I don’t believe is if I should truly make that great covenant with him.Civil marriage you can marry and divorce as you please…and with the troublesome civil marriage I already have with him, I don’t think I should take that risk, because if I was to ever divorce him or just leave him, and sometime down the line I was to meet a better, even Catholic devoted man who’d like to lead me down the aisle, then I wouldn’t have that opportunity in my disposition. :tsktsk: You can only be married thru the Catholic Church ONCE, and for the rest of your life…it’s something I highly admire, respect, believe in, yet am troublesome about simply because I might not ever have that with him.
2.) If I was to take the other option, which is to leave him completely (since I’m so “unhappy” with him) then I would have to remain a single mother (yes, we have a four year old boy together), I’d have to give up my full-time Nursing schooling (which, he’s paying for AND providing) so I can get a job, make some money, and eventually get me and my son our own place (which we don’t have because we currently reside with his Father) and I have nowhere to go or stay for the meantime… I mean in other words this is the Father of my son, and we have been together for seven years, and it’s not that easy to just get up and leave him because I’m advised to do so. I love him dearly with all my heart (God only knows) but I can’t force my beliefs on him. let alone change his ways, or threaten him to leave him if otherwise… all I want from him is spiritual change because he IS a good man, but he just has his own demons to overcome, but he’s not doing anything to change that and as long as he doesn’t him and I will never be happy, and I don’t know how much longer I can take his bad ways and addictions (which I prefer not to mention).
Now when I went to speak with my parish priest not only did he make me feel as if I was “unworthy” to receive the blessed sacraments but he also had the nerve to criticize my demeanor which not only hurt my feelings, but also made me very angry. Now I’ve had a complicated life in which I don’t want to get into detail, which had influenced my decisions and mistakes…because after all I am only human…but I also know and believe that when you pass judgement on others because of the way they look or portray themselves you are ALSO condemning yourself!!! :bigyikes: now I lost complete respect for that priest, and after that so called constructive criticism of my piercings and tattoes, I no longer wish to attend that Church, or continue with the RCIA classes as I was informed that I needed to continue, even if nothing can be done for me this year. Now I didn’t disrespect the priest in anyway, even if I felt like doint it, so I took that in and cried about it instead (which he didn’t care to console) and he led me to his office door exit and his last words were that I was dismissed and to make sure nobody saw me leaving his office crying as if he didn’t want others knowing how he had criticized me, denied me my sacraments, and basically thrown me out of his office. uch: Now I’m thinking that I should just go and explore my options with other Catholic Churches in my area or to even go and speak to my local Bishop which is a few miles away in San Angelo, Tx. Will anyone please advise me any further in what I could do please?

No one is going to have mercy on you because they all have unjust judgment. But I will have mercy on you and tell you the truth that Jesus speaks. You’ve gone through alot. Things will continue to be a hindrance to you. You’ve proven yourself through your faith to become Catholic and those who say they are Catholic have misguided you. Call yourself Catholic and receive the Sacrament. Why open doors that people are not going to let you go through? Attend a different Church. Call yourself Catholic and receive the Sacrament. Live as a Catholic.

 

[Speedypizza]

No one is going to have mercy on you because they all have unjust judgment. But I will have mercy on you and tell you the truth that Jesus speaks. You’ve gone through alot. Things will continue to be a hindrance to you. You’ve proven yourself through your faith to become Catholic and those who say they are Catholic have misguided you. Call yourself Catholic and receive the Sacrament. Why open doors that people are not going to let you go through? Attend a different Church. Call yourself Catholic and receive the Sacrament. Live as a Catholic.

Are you REALLY suggesting that somebody who is not baptized or confirmed just walk into a Catholic Church, and receive the body, blood, soul and divinity of Jesus.

I hope I am somehow misunderstanding what you mean here, because if that IS what you mean, I don’t even know where to start with that, other then both the Bible AND the Church do not approve. For her to do so would be a MORTAL sin, and I have to assume that your telling her to is also mortal.

Again, I hope I somehow misunderstood you.

 

[figs]

holy cow, this thread has gone into the absurd!

the best advice here is for the woman to go see her bishop… period.

 

[mi6vida9loca]

Guys, you are MISSING the point. The Priest told her correctly. The issue isn’t that her marriage isn’t valid with the Church if she seeks a convalidation. It’s that she doesn’t want it to be recognized b/c she wants to open to divorce and leaving her husband for someone else!!!

The Priest is correct.

:dts: You’re making IDIOTIC assumptions about things you DON’T show SQUAT about…don’t ever reply on my posts again…and REEXAMINE your stupidities and FALSE judgements… :newidea:

 

[mi6vida9loca]

She’s looking for the easy way – not the right way.

Actually, I’m trying to do this the RIGHT way, because I could of LIED about my situation to the RCIA teacher AND the Priest,and I could of said that I was currently single, blah, blah, blah, blah…BUT instead I was HONEST and I spoke of my truthful circumstances…and what I AM trying to do the easy way is to find some kind of way that I could receive my sacraments instead of having to wait time down the line about what it is I should do…I don’t believe the Church should FORCE Catholic Marriage on me if I’m not sure that I want to be with this man forever due to the circumstances of my relationship with him…but what I do wish is to SAVE my soul FIRST and FOREMOST (since our son is already baptized CATHOLIC, thanks to me and my family, and it’s only a matter of time before I show him the Catholic way)… do not comment on my posts any further if you have nothing positive or helpful to state besides your stupidities and hateful comments… :doh2: