No sex allowed during pregnancy

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JohnnySav

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Hello all, God bless you always.

My question is an odd one, but one that I need clarification on nonetheless. God has blessed us with a second child who at this point is growing inside my wife. We are grateful to the Lord for this beautiful gift and I give thanks every day. This pregnancy however, has taken away the act of sex. The Doctors have advised not to have sex, as my wife has some minor complications concerning bleeding. Is it wrong for my wife and I, who are committed to each other by marriage and love to practice oral stimulation or manual stimulation on each other while advised by medical staff to not have sex? I ask because sex for the purpose of reproduction has been achieved and thanks to God we are expecting a son, but we are sexual people with each other as well, and given the circumstances we cannot actually physically have sex.

Thank you
 
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I sympathize with your situation, and know that dealing with your wife’s medical situation is difficult in many ways. In regards to sex, each sexual union must be both ordered towards procreation and union of the spouses. There are dissenting views on this forum about what exactly is allowed prior to completion (and I’ll avoid that discussion), but if a couple does sex acts and intentionally avoids finishing in a way open to procreation, the act is gravely disordered and can result in mortal sin. Masturbation-and/or-oral-stimulation-only methods are therefore disordered, even in cases such as yours. Until your wife’s condition is stabilized, it may be good to prepare yourselves for a period of abstinance.
 
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As Wesrock states such actions are considered a misuse of the sexual faculties even under your not unusual circumstances.

God is calling you to a period of abstinence. Having said that you will likely fail if your libidos are as strong as they seem to be. On those occassions go to confession and move on.

Alternatively try to be more disciplined in your sex and finish gently with minimal or even no significant penetration if that works for you both. I believe that is morally acceptable.
It also may require a learning discipline.

Chastity is a also discipline afterall, not just for the single but according to our state and circumstances.
 
I haven’t thought about that, finishing with very little penetration. That makes this easier actually very much. Thank you
 
Mutual masturbation and oral sex are permissible, provided that they transition to intercourse prior to completion. It’s also fine to give your wife oral sex until she achieves orgasm. The main thing is that your orgasm as the man should be through vaginal intercourse.

This is a tough standard, and be gentle with yourself if you fail. Go to confession and move on.

Also, make sure that oral sex/masturbation are even medically advisable. If your wife is having some sensitivity/issues down there, any stimulation of that area could be iffy.
 
JohnnySav said:
Is it wrong for my wife and I, who are committed to each other by marriage and love to practice oral stimulation or manual stimulation on each other while advised by medical staff to not have sex? I
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Yes, that is wrong to stimulate orally or manually to orgasm.

Every sex act between spouses must be a completed act of vaginal incourse else it is simply masturbation, a disordered act.

See the Catechism, 6th commandment— each act must be per se ordered to both unity and procreation.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. If you cannot have intercourse you are called to continence for the time being.
 
@JohnnySav Sure it’s a grievous sin and unnatural ,to abstain is the best way in this situation,please both of you confess them immediately,you cannot receive Holy communion in such a state.

1 Corinthians 11: 27 Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be answerable for the body and blood of the Lord. 28 Examine yourselves, and only then eat of the bread and drink of the cup. 29 For all who eat and drink[h] without discerning the body, eat and drink judgment against themselves. 30 For this reason many of you are weak and ill, and some have died.

@Wesrock They Both have pretty good points it’s according to Catholic Teaching
@1ke

masturbation is sin****Genesis 38:9-10 But since Onan knew that the offspring would not be his, he spilled his semen on the ground whenever he went in to his brother’s wife, so that he would not give offspring to his brother. 10 What he did was displeasing in the sight of the LORD, and he put him to death also

1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from fornication; 4 that each one of you know how to control your own body in holiness and honor, 5 not with lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God; 6 that no one wrong or exploit a brother or sister in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, just as we have already told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. 7 For God did not call us to impurity but in holiness. 8 Therefore whoever rejects this rejects not human authority but God, who also gives his Holy Spirit to you.

Romans 6:12-14 Therefore, do not let sin exercise dominion in your mortal bodies, to make you obey their passions. 13 No longer present your members to sin as instruments[a] of wickedness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and present your members to God as instruments of righteousness. 14 For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.

1 Corinthians 3:16-17 Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you? 17 If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy that person. For God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple.

Mark 1:15 and saying, “The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God has come near;[a] repent, and believe in the good news.”
 
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@Francis We haven’t done anything yet, which is why I wanted to ask first. Thank you
 
Wesrock said:
avoids finishing in a way open to procreation, the act is gravely disordered and can result in mortal sin
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I do know the Official Catholic position on this. Although I would like to know Catholic’s thoughts on this when the woman is already pregnant.

I mean, help me if I am wrong but I have never heard of a woman getting pregnant when she was already a few weeks pregnant? The procreative argument just falls flat here and I can’t see any reasonable argument for any sex at all until that is possible again. One may argue the same for very old people and okay, very old people have become pregnant, yet never an already pregnant woman (again if I am wrong please refer me to the link.)
 
I say go ahead and enjoy it. Do it for the glory of God. The Song of Solomon is full of references to sex being done for the sake of enjoyment. It talks about a man taking pleasure in his wife’s breasts. Don’t pressure your wife into it, though-- make sure she’s cool with it.
 
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@MichaelP3 that’s what I was thinking… Thanks be to God we were blessed with another child. But does being intimate with my wife just stop here? I would understand totally if there was sodomy between us but there’s not.
 
MichaelP3 said:
The procreative argument just falls flat here and I can’t see any reasonable argument for any sex at all until that is possible again.
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Well…the idea is that it’s supposed to be ordered toward procreation. Meaning that you have to go through the same motions you would go through as if procreation were possible/desired/the likely outcome.

I’m not saying I entirely agree with this ruling, but that’s what the ruling is, so far as I understand it.
 
I am not Catholic so my personal opinion is exactly that in this case.

Stating my personal opinion I can not see how procreation is any realistic reality and I do question the Catholic teaching (in many more ways) on this.

I do not have a Catholic solution. I honestly do not agree with it in any way. I do know the teaching hence my reluctance to give a clear answer.

However. I do think its a pretty good “loophole” to say "finish with very little penetration ". I mean how little before it becomes a sin?. This was just very interesting to me.

Regards
 
Procreation is not the only purpose of sex. It’s an important purpose, but spousal intimacy and pleasure also factor in.
 
In all honesty I agree with you in all you said. From a Catholic point of view and the perceived problem, it just doesn’t seem like they are totally agreeing with you.
 
Hard to understand it all to be honest. I honestly just want to be my best for Christ, I don’t know it all but I don’t see why being intimate with my wife (both cradle catholic, married in the church and loyal to each other) in ways other than penetrative sex (which medically can’t happen at this point in time) could be considered wrong.
 
JohnnySav said:
Hard to understand it all to be honest. I honestly just want to be my best for Christ, I don’t know it all but I don’t see why being intimate with my wife (both cradle catholic, married in the church and loyal to each other) in ways other than penetrative sex (which medically can’t happen at this point in time) could be considered wrong.
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I agree with you 100 percent.
 
Often when the doctors say no sex they actually mean no sex. The uterus contracts some with arousal and very much with orgasm. Simple nipple stimulation is a method to get labor started and to intensify contractions during active labor.

Aside from the whole “every marital act must be ordered toward procreation”.
 
Yes. If it is consensual whattever you are doing and you are married. Then what is the problem?

(Not addressing the already contradicting “problem” addressed before)
 
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