Nobody told you to have that many kids!

[HappyRevert]

Another thing that has become glaringly obvious with the state of the economy is that the more the merrier because when my husband and I get old and can’t work our poor children will be supporting us - they are going to want to spread that out as widely as possible

 

[sing]

I’m the oldest of 10 kids and it’s not always a great thing. Sorry, I get sick of these threads. people act like the more the merrier works well for families, and sometimes that just isn’t the case. There are plenty of rude people out there, and I’ve heard all the comments many times over, but a lot of people have genuine concerns and aren’t intending to be rude. I do love my brothers and sisters, but I don’t miss the 11th or 12th kids my parents had planned on having.

 

[MomblessedX3]

I think huge families are great! I wanted 6 children. I made it to 3 before having complications that required a hysterectomy.
I applaude you and congratulations!!!

 

[KCT]

We have friends w/ 11 children. Can you imagine what folks would say about that?

Congrats on your family .

 

[Julianna]

My DH is one of 9…my dad was one of 7…mom one of 5. I am one of 3. DH and I have 2.

If a couple can emotionally and financially support a large family, more power to them. It wasn’t in the cards for us financially…so 2 was plenty. We are blessed.

I don’t know…with large family reality shows playing on tv nowdays…it may prove not to be such an odd thing.

 

[Just_wondering]

I think large families are great. I grew up with three siblings, plus my two cousins that we fostered for a few years, my parents, my grandparents, and a stream of exchange students. Our house was always full. Now that my parents have an empty nest, they’re running a lodge so that the house is still always full.

I like to shock people by telling them how many children I want. I only say I want four! But then when you consider that my boyfriend already has two from a failed marriage, it brings it up there in people’s minds. Here in Korea, the only “socially acceptable” numbers of children are one or two. Three is shocking, and must be because you didn’t have the right gender children to start with. When I say that I’d be very happy to end up with six children, you should see the shock on people’s faces.

Luckily, someone DID tell me to have that many kids. I had a nice conversation on the phone with my mother the other day, and she was telling me that I should bring my boyfriend to Canada, and help him get his big Catholic extended family into Canada too, because we’ll need all the young people we can get to pay for the old folks’ pensions. I don’t think I’ll get flak for a large family from that quarter. Of course, my mom is horrified that I’m not going to live with my boyfriend before marriage instead.

 

[Ruthie]

I’ve read a few of these threads, and so far my favorite is BlueRose’s:

“Don’t you know what causes that?”

BIL responded (very seriously): “Well, we’ve been narrowing it down for the last few years and now we THINK we know what it might be, but just to make sure, we’re going to try it again and see what happens.”

I’m going to pass it on to my two friends who both have large families!

God bless us all,

Ruthie

 

[RitaM]

I don’t know if this would be considered a rude response, but sometimes I’m tired of the rude comments, and I would like to say “That was a really ugly thing to say about my children”. It annoys me to no end that people will tell me how hard it must be or that I must be trying for a boy or am I finished right in front of my kids, as if I’m supposed to acknowledge how burdensome they are when they’re standing right next to me.

“No, actually I love my children very much” is probably the better response, and if people take offense that I’m insinuating that they don’t, maybe they should think before they speak.

 

[kmleo]

I wish I had more brothers and sisters. It’s just me and my sister.

I am really sorry that you all have to put up with such rudeness. I thought it was just pregnant women who suffered the barrage of rude questions. I’m now resolved that the only way to resolve rudeness is to tell people they are being rude. I usually reply to questions about my baby with something like, “I appreciate that you are interested in us, but your question is rude. I’m sure it wasn’t intentional – I’d be curious too!” And then I either change the subject or give them some information like “We’re doing just fine” or “My daughter is so excited to be a big sister.”

People will never learn to be polite if they are never educated as to what politeness/rudeness is. In our tell-all society, it is hard to know where the line should be drawn for the off-limits questions. Stand up for your comfort zone!!!

 

[pepin1980]

Congratulations for you and your large family!! :flowers: I do believe that having a large family is so wonderful!! We started truly realizing what a blessing kids are after we lost our third. We pray to God that we’ll be able to have more kids, and I won’t care a BIT about people’s comments, believe me!! :dts: God bless you, and don’t pay attention, just be thankful for having 5 beautiful, healthy kids!!!

Here in Korea, the only “socially acceptable” numbers of children are one or two. Three is shocking, and must be because you didn’t have the right gender children to start with. When I say that I’d be very happy to end up with six children, you should see the shock on people’s faces.

I understand what you mean. We’re from Eastern Europe, and for all ex-communist countries, it’s typical to have only one or two kids, and a third one - only if you had two girls and want to have a boy too, or two boys and wanted a girl as well. However, after the second one, most people just stop having kids. The sad thing is that if they do get pregnant after that, they just have an abortion - almost every woman I know has had at least one… Talk about contraception, whata wonderful thing it is and how ‘well’ it works…

 

[Belle10]

My BIL and his wife just had number 12 (that’s right, TWELVE!) a couple months ago. Someone asked him (at church, no less), “Don’t you know what causes that?”

BIL responded (very seriously): “Well, we’ve been narrowing it down for the last few years and now we THINK we know what it might be, but just to make sure, we’re going to try it again and see what happens.”

That’s awesome!

 

[iluvmybabies]

I have 3 children wanted 4 but now I want 6…My family thought I was crazy when I had the first one, then they wouldn’t even talk to me when I was pregnant with the second one, and even worst with the 3rd one…I had always told my family I wanted 4, so I told them after I had my 3rd one, I was like, “you are so lucky the 4th isn’t in the oven yet!!” LOL…of course you can imagine the smirk and look I would get! DUH money situations are rough when aren’t they? I don’t know many people who could say “I am perfectly fine I have no economical problems, I don’t over work to help our family financially we are perfectly well and super wealthy!!” I don’t know many actually I don’t know any!! lol…

So what if you have to make your kids work since they are 14 to help out in the house, I came from a small family, 4 siblings, 2 girls and 2 boys…compared to my grandparents-dads side 15 +kids, mom’s 10 kids…come on now!! And they all grew up fine…maybe some worst than others but Catholic people…and close families…
I worked since I was 10 am I tired of working, yes, but hey that’s what GOD put us in this world for, to work to reap what we sow, to make the planet fruitful!! So I hope to make it so with 3 more munchkins after my fiance and I get married through the Catholic church! His family and my family think we are crazy and they hate the idea…his mother only had 2 children and she was pretty much forced by her husband to have the second child because she didn’t want any more children! After her first one she said no more kids and 2 years later when she found out she was pregnant she had a “miscarriage” with her twin babies, and then 6 years later my fiance was born…unwanting and he was born very ill…thank GOD he’s grown up to be a strong and very kind man!!

They tell me things like “you can barely feed your 3 you are going to starve!!” “Why in the world would you want to bring in more children to suffer in this world!!” It’s like cuz I freaking feel like that’s why!! But of cuorse I just look at them and turn my head the other way before I cuss them the H#$% out!! :\ Sorry…Got too excited!!

The point is who cares! I have never cared about what people say…When I was growing up, I was the fatty one, because I was thick, I used to play sports more than most boys growing up around me…very athletic and very muscular, “oh she’s a tombboy she’s probably bi!!” But thanks to that I grew up to be a very good looking woman, then I was too good looking-“oh she must be selling something?!” It was like paleeezzz!!! Then it was “oh she’s trying to get pregnant because she’s afraid her man’s going to leave her!!” In the end I left my ex…lol…Nothing else should matter except you were blessed with gorgeous and healthy babies and thank GOD because there is nothing worst than being scared your child might not make it through the night! So let me tell you forget what others have to say and GOD bless you and your babies! I just hope God will bless us with 3 more beautiful babies.

 

[mmt4]

My wife and I just celebrated the birth of out fifth child!

Congratulations!:clapping:

I have only four, and fortunately for us right now, we live in a semirural area where four is quite common. I happen to be one of the only “big” family nonhomeschooling moms in my social group. My daughter’s K teacher from last year has 5 kids, and my 4th graders teacher is a mom to five as well. No one blinks at four here, whereas hardly anyone my husband works with has more than one or two. Usually, wherever we live (we are military), more than 3 is considered odd. I am so fortunate, most people who say anything tell me that I have a beautiful family.

We are currently planning on no more, but for the first time ever, I am pining for more. My kids want more siblings as well. I joke that the van we bought after I got pregnant with #4 can fit just one more child, so we do have room for one more, but that’s it!

Enjoy your new baby and ignore the rude comments.

 

[MomblessedX3]

I was talking to my co-worker about this today. She has 5 kids. Her two youngest are twins concieved without ‘help’. I asked her if she ever recieves thoughtless comments and of course she does.

Her response…maybe not very Christian like but I thought was funny was…“We have to keep having kids…it’s the only way we can stay on welfare.”

Which is really funny because they are very affluent in the community and it would take a lot more than five for them to qualify for any type of assistance.

 

[hasikelee]

I can’t stand the “Oh, you must be Catholic” statement.

For some reason, it really bothers me. As if in their minds, the only reason to pop out a kid is because some far away Pope commanded you to do so.

One of these days, I’m going to say something like “No, I’m an Atheist” just to see the look on their face.

And I’m only pregnant with my FIRST!

One time I had 6 of my 10 siblings with me in a shopping store and a guy asked me very loudly “Don’t your parents know what causes so many kids?” My 3 year old sister piped up, “Yeah, what causes that?” I looked at the guy brightly and said, “Why don’t you tell her.” Hehehe

 

[pepin1980]

One time I had 6 of my 10 siblings with me in a shopping store and a guy asked me very loudly “Don’t your parents know what causes so many kids?” My 3 year old sister piped up, “Yeah, what causes that?” I looked at the guy brightly and said, “Why don’t you tell her.” Hehehe

:clapping: Did he even try to explain?

I can’t stand the “Oh, you must be Catholic” statement.

For some reason, it really bothers me. As if in their minds, the only reason to pop out a kid is because some far away Pope commanded you to do so.

One of these days, I’m going to say something like “No, I’m an Atheist” just to see the look on their face.

I’m not sure how this might be accepted from Christian point of view - it’s true you won’t be denying your faith in God for real, but still I’m not sure it’s the right thing to do… Let them talk, it just means they feel guilty (a lot of people who react that way have usually been part of an abortion…).

 

[RitaM]

Everyone around here drives a mini-van and has 2 or 3 kids. I am less affluent, and I drive a mid-size sedan with 4 kids (one is in a baby seat). Sometimes DH and I and all the kids squeeze in to go somewhere. People always tell me “you need a van”, and I feel like saying “I’ll take one if you have an extra!” Usually I reply that “need” is relative or that one will come along if we really need one.

Anyway, one day I went to the grocery store and it was very busy in the parking lot. I started unloading my troops from our car, as an elderly woman was getting into hers next to me. I expected either a “you need a van” type of comment or no comment at all, as I closed the door and asked two of the kids to wait a moment while the woman got into her car. She told me to go ahead and said “what a beautiful family, very pro-life”. This nice comment meant a lot to me. I was surprised that she would presume I was pro-life, but it goes to show that she really knows what being pro-life is all about.

I do joke about the welfare thing sometimes, but I’m afraid some people might think I’m serious. We’re not on welfare, but do receive medical assistance and WIC. At the grocery store, using WIC vouchers for milk, cheese, and eggs, I always have to buy more than I’m getting for free. I shop with my mother and tell her I need to have some more kids so I can get more free milk, as if children cost less than the $50 a month worth of free food they get from the county.

 

[hasikelee]

:clapping: Did he even try to explain?

I’m not sure how this might be accepted from Christian point of view - it’s true you won’t be denying your faith in God for real, but still I’m not sure it’s the right thing to do… Let them talk, it just means they feel guilty (a lot of people who react that way have usually been part of an abortion…).

Haha, no he didn’t try at all. And I didn’t have to explain b/c I think she was just echoing the question. Phew.

Hmm, I never considerd the religious question to be related to abortion. That is an interesting point.

 

[motherofsix]

My wife and I just celebrated the birth of out fifth child!

One thing that I was not prepared for was the reaction of people around us, when we mention our family size. A lot of others think we are crazy, I just was we are very blessed.

Anyone else had similiar experiences.

Thanks, John

PS I will change my log on to Famof7.

OK I am now PG with our 7th. We have 5 girls and 1 boy. These are the things people say to me and my reactions to it:

Don’t you know what causes that?Yes and we enjoy it.

Don’t you guys have any hobbies/TVs/outside interest?Yes, but we love each other.

Better you than me, I would go crazy.Then maybe it is better it’s me.

How do you do it?Love and organization.

This one my husband gets
That’s just to many dang kids.Well, don’t get upset because my wife still loves me.

There are sooooo many more comments people make, but ignore them. God wanted us to be families. He gave us the awesome task of doing just that. Large or small. As Catholics we need to understand that and just love.

 

[Famof6]

Thank you all for your comments and stories. They really mean a lot to me and my wife.

GOD Bless,
John