Noisy kids during mass

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Polak

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Yep, I have created a topic on this before and I know others have too, but after my recent experience in church, I feel a need to do it again.

During the mass, as the priest is giving his sermon, a child is yelling constantly at the top of their voice. It then starts to kick the pew loudly, then yells again. This keep going on. It gets to the point where the priest even has to stop his sermon because he can’t concentrate, and only then does the parent take the hint and bring her child outside.

Look, I know it isn’t always easy to handle your kids being noisy in church and I know sometimes parents have to take them to church because they don’t have anyone to leave them with. I do sympathise with that.

What I don’t sympathise with is when the child is being so noisy to the point of even the priest having to stop what he is going because he can’t concentrate, and the parent/s sits there as if nothing is happening.

Sometimes I feel like pointing to the child and saying loudly ‘Is this an orphan? Because I know no decent parent would let their child make so much noise in church without reacting.’ So far I’ve thought it. Perhaps some day soon I will actually say it.
 
Polak said:
Sometimes I feel like pointing to the child and saying loudly ‘Is this an orphan? Because I know no decent parent would let their child make so much noise in church without reacting.’ So far I’ve thought it. Perhaps some day soon I will actually say it.
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And that would make you as loud as the child. What would you think you would accomplish by such an uncharitable remark?

I am fairly sure that any priest that is truly bothered would let the parents know, as your did, wordlessly.
 
Irishmom2 said:
And that would make you as loud as the child. What would you think you would accomplish by such an uncharitable remark?
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I said I thought about it, because it irritates me so much. The reason I don’t do it is because I know it is considered an ‘uncharitable act’.
 
The noise made by children at mass is a sign that the Church is alive and growing, not dying and shrinking.

Just as the Church is not a luxury hotel for saints, but a hospital for sinners; the Church is not a gated seniors only community, but a village where God welcomes people of all ages.
 
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Sure people of different ages are welcome. But teaching kids a bit of discipline when they go there can do no harm, or at least taking them outside if they can’t stay quiet.

By the way, you think that parents taking their kids to church means those kids will still be attending when they’re older? Many of them don’t. In fact, sadly, most of them probably don’t. I wouldn’t say kids being taken to church necessarily means the church isn’t shrinking.

Another thing that bothers me btw is when parents start to follow their children around the church and completely ignore the mass being more interested in what their kids are doing. Why bother even going if you are going to do that?
 
I take noisy kids in Church as a sign of an undisciplined prayer life at home. Obviously, this does not apply to babies. I remember being taught to be silent during the things of God, both at home and in Church when I was as young as 4. Sometimes I started daydreaming yes, but still. Silence. When at home and it was time for prayer, it was silent, same for bible reading.

Don’t say anything though, just offer it up for the dead. The more sacrifice the better. And pray for that family.
 
So parents are being bad parents if they ignore their kids’ disruptions, or if they supervise their kids during Mass? Now you just sound cranky.

Look, the situation you’re describing sounds unreasonable. It isn’t usual for parents to ignore screaming kids. Are these the same kids who behave in the same way week after week? Or do you have an unusually rude congregation?

As to what you can do, that kind of depends on whether you have a relationship with the parents or not. If you do, you might offer to let one kid sit with you one week (kids usually love a change and are better behaved with others), or ask the parents if you can help in some way.

If you don’t know the parents, well, choose your seat carefully; it isn’t really your job to police parents.

But if you’re looking for affirmation that parents should manage their kids so that they don’t interrupt church, I will happily give you that affirmation. Parents absolutely are responsible for their kids’ behavior, and those who neglect said responsibility are behaving poorly. It is not a “thing” to let one’s child disrupt a service.
 
Ah, the ‘parents should be perfect’ trope.

Imagine you’re the mom of little Ignatius and Perpetua. You go to church. Ignatius is behaving well, but Perpetua starts to squirm a bit. You are trying to pay attention to the priest AND supervise your children. Because you talked to the priest and took his advice, you’re in a front pew. Because it’s social distance now you thought you’d be alone, but you have neighbors (distanced) in your pew.

One kid is fussing a bit. You are conditioned to a certain level of noise; the old lady whose kids are long gone is used to a level of near absolute silence, so the kid sounds a lot noisier to her than to you.

If you take fussikins out then not-so fussy will start to react loudly. So you want to wait as long as possible because maybe fussy will quiet down. Meanwhile the judgment squad is wondering, “WHY can’t she take them out now?”

The quicker Mom takes them out, the more likely they will quiet down, come back, and then want to go out again. That’s why.

The plain fact is that unless somebody is ‘us’ and does exactly as we would do when we would do it, we’re going to think that they aren’t ‘right’, and of course when we’re already annoyed with noise, we’re going to assume that they are deliberately annoying us, by ‘not being good parents’, not being courteous etc.

Poor parents.
 
Hi Polak! I envy you can still go to mass despite covid! Its good you were able to vent your concern here in the forum. I think it takes good EQ to hold on to your emotions and think about your reaction carefully much more searching for other people’s perspective. My take on this is that you should not be judgemental about the parents. I agree with the comment that you should take this as a challenge to get to know the parents and their situation. =) The parent or kid might have mental health challenges at the moment.
 
That post is horrible. I guess I can only charitably assume it is written out of a frustration and you don’t really feel that way.
 
Well, I’m a parent of young children, and I’d feel pretty irate if I had to sit through the situation the OP described.
 
I agree, it would be horrible. But what the OP feels like doing is the issue.
 
Polak said:
During the mass, as the priest is giving his sermon, a child is yelling constantly at the top of their voice. It then starts to kick the pew loudly, then yells again.
Click to expand...
I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt that this is a typo. But…do you realize you just referred to a child as “it?”
Polak said:
Sometimes I feel like pointing to the child and saying loudly ‘Is this an orphan? Because I know no decent parent would let their child make so much noise in church without reacting.’ So far I’ve thought it. Perhaps some day soon I will actually say it.
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Hmmmm…What would Jesus do? You do know He rebuked people who tried to stop the children from coming to Him. What do you think He’d have to say to you if you do indeed actually say this “some day soon?”
 
Polak said:
Another thing that bothers me btw is when parents start to follow their children around the church and completely ignore the mass being more interested in what their kids are doing. Why bother even going if you are going to do that?
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Um, because it’s our obligation as Catholics.

Or, by George, they love God and want to be in His Church.

How old are you, and do you have children?
 
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Irishmom2 said:
I agree, it would be horrible. But what the OP feels like doing is the issue.
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He’s also kind of all over the place. He’s mad that parents don’t correct their kids, but then he’s also bothered by parents paying attention to what their kids are doing. He insinuates everyone with young children should just stay home. Really? Don’t bring your kids to church and don’t come yourself unless you can get a babysitter? That’s so contrary to what Jesus would want.

I honestly don’t disagree that the parents who did nothing about the screaming child were wrong. But the OP’s attitude is over-the-top and harmful.
 
Whenever I hear complaint about disruptions and alleged act that are illicit or invalidation of sacraments, I am reminded of the axiomatic, “Other than THAT, how was the play, Mrs. Lincoln?”
 
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