Noisy kids during mass

[Convert3]

I’m the kind of guy that would sit next to a parent with a baby on an airplane because crying kids don’t bother me. I’m the one that can calm down our grandkids and I am my granddaughter’s favorite. I love kids at mass. Most parents do take them out if they get loud, but I think it’s good to bring them to mass. The Lord loves children!

 

[Mrchatsworth]

But to take this uncharitable complaint to public forums is inappropriate. The child may be special needs or the parents may be struggling. I think the OP, complaining about a person and family that he doesn’t even know because it distracts him is problematic. Especially the part about wanting to yell “is this child an orphan?” If the OP feels justified writing this then I suggest the Problem is not with the child, the parents or the priest.

 

[Montrose]

Our parish has a large room (probably can accommodate about 50 people) inside the Church but to the side of the pews where parents with small children can go. The walls are plate glass so parents can follow the Mass and speakers inside the room means they can hear as well but folks sitting in the pews cannot hear the noise from the children.

 

[heidi_storage]

Ah, look, man, I’m wanting to defend you here; I understand your feelings, and whatever you may have WANTED to do in church, you didn’t actually do it. And coming to the forums to complain anonymously isn’t actually harming anyone. . . .

Also, yes, whether you are a parent or not is relevant. I knew ever so much more about childrearing before I had kids. (No, my kids do not scream in church; none has special needs, and my husband and I, like most parents, are mindful of others.)

 

[Psalm30]

Aaaah I was waiting for this question from the parents. I was also expecting a lot of pushback from them, and I predictably got it. Parents get so offended when you dare to mention they aren’t doing a great job at keeping their kids in check. I stand by what I say. Some parents do a bad job. If you do nothing as your child disrupts a mass, you’re not doing a good job. If you want to avoid stares from people, do a better one.

So I’ll take that as, no you don’t have children. Easy for you to judge people whose shoes you haven’t walked in.

I had the same attitude you do before I had kids. After my first child was born, that attitude changed pretty quickly. And, honestly, many people who sit near us in church rant and rave about how well-behaved my kids are. But boy, parenting is hard. And it’s something you don’t entirely comprehend until you experience it directly—I.e. have children of your own.

Haha what an answer. As long as we’re in there, that is what counts. Actually paying attention to the mass? Less important.

Believe it or not, you can chase your kid around church and still pay attention and pray at the same time. God sees these parents’ heart and their intentions. You don’t.

Stop lying please.

Stop denying what you said in your posts.

And you never responded to this: Jesus rebuked those who wanted to stop the children from coming to Him. What would He have to say in response to the “Is this child an orphan?” comment you think you just might say out loud someday soon?

In language terms you say ‘that’ child was being naughty. I.e. ‘it’ was being naughty, if you don’t say whether it was a he or she. Don’t play semantics please. There wasn’t anything wrong in writing ‘it’.

So it wasn’t a typo. Um, I’m assuming you could observe the gender of the child. If not, “he or she” or “they” or “the child” would have been appropriate. Really. The fact that you think it’s acceptable to refer to a human being as “it” is disgusting.

I didn’t insinuate this.

Yes you did.

I simply stated that it irritates me when a child is disruptive during mass and there is zero reaction from the parents.

You did a whole lot more than “simply state” this.

I’m going to say it again. I agree with you—it’s not okay for parents to sit by and do nothing while their child screams in church.

BUT

Your attitude is over-the-top, uncharitable, and harmful.

 

[Polak]

I appreciate your post and yes it does make me understand the other side. I’m not saying it’s easy and yes I’m sure kids can be difficult to deal with sometimes. My main issue is when I see a child clearly do something wrong or disruptive and see the parent do nothing. It leads me to believe that child is therefore not being taught that were they are doing isn’t okay, so they’ll continue to do it.

 

[Psalm30]

This post says a lot more about you than it does about me, the others on this thread, or the parents you’re complaining about. Really…I’m sorry you have this angry attitude. Ego? Correcting your grammar? You have completely missed the forest for the trees.

I’ll say it yet again. I agree with you that parents shouldn’t sit by and do nothing when their kids are screaming in church.

BUT

Your attitude is over-the-top, uncharitable, and harmful.

And your words are becoming increasingly cruel and un-Christian.

 

[Polak]

Great. Let’s just agree to disagree.

 

[Psalm30]

Great. Let’s just agree to disagree.

I hope God softens your heart and helps you act with more charity, understanding and compassion.

 

[Polak]

It’s going to take a lot for me to understand why a parent would allow their child to behave badly without reacting.

 

[Psalm30]

It’s going to take a lot for me to understand why a parent would allow their child to behave badly without reacting.

Do you not understand that no one is fussing at you for being upset about the child’s parents not reacting?

What people are fussing at you about are wanting to say “Is this child an orphan?”, calling the child “it”, not being able to acknowledge that maybe you don’t have all the answers since you haven’t directly experienced having to keep a child under control at church, and insinuating that families with young children should just stay home from church because they’re not focusing on the Mass anyway.

THAT’s what people are calling you out on.

 

[Allegra]

I don’t take parenting advice from people who refer to children as “it”. Children aren’t objects. They are human beings. Being able to sit still for 45 minutes is a level of stamina that has to be built up to. A faithful Catholic family is likely to have multiple children at different developmental levels. If they are delaying leaving the Mass, it’s because they have hope that the child will calm down and they realize that removing the rest of their family would likely be more of a disruption than the one child being fussy. You need to focus on your own level of focus which, as a fully developed adult, you have more control over. A lot of time, people project their own faults on other people in order to ignore their own shortcomings. You spend the Mass watching parents and hating on them because you don’t think they are focusing enough on the Mass when they are supervising their children. In actuality, if you were focusing on the Mass the way you are supposed to, you wouldn’t even notice what other people were doing. Maybe you should focus on your own level of self-awareness, which you have actual control over, instead of that of tiny kids, which no one has any control over.

 

[Psalm30]

A lot of time, people project their own faults on other people in order to ignore their own shortcomings. You spend the Mass watching parents and hating on them because you don’t think they are focusing enough on the Mass when they are supervising their children. In actuality, if you were focusing on the Mass the way you are supposed to, you wouldn’t even notice what other people were doing. Maybe you should focus on your own level of self-awareness, which you have actual control over, instead of that of tiny kids, which no one has any control over.

Right on

10 Characters

 

[stpurl]

Well I’m not the one calling a child “it” and getting hot under the collar. I join with the others who suggest that you talk with your priest about this.

 

[Polak]

Ok I’m pretty much done with this debate now. I’ve learnt that criticising parents is one of the topics on this forum you can’t touch. ‘Oh how dare? Do you have children?’ And so on. Who thought it could trigger people this much.

As for the whole ‘it’ argument. I can’t believe how many people here have joined in the attack on me for writing that. It isn’t grammatically incorrect to call a child ‘it’. Obviously I know the child is a human being and not a thing, but if you don’t know if a child is a male or female (as I didn’t) then it’s fine to say. It was hidden away in the pew. I could hear the child and see his or her (happy now?) parents, but not the child itself. You could say ‘it’’ was behaving in a certain way in this situation. It’s like a dog is obviously a creature and not a thing, but you could say ‘did you see that dog? It was running around the park insanely’. Uh oh. Now people will probably say ‘how can you compare a child to a dog?’

Also, this is no longer a fair debate. It’s pretty much me against the rest. My posts are getting flagged. Two have already been deleted. The topic has a time limit on it now. t’s pointless when you’re being censored in a discussion because people don’t agree with you.

The only reasonable person on here is CajunJoy. Funny I was reading a post in another thread on this forum about how people now have such egos that you can’t criticise them or they get offended instantly. That is exactly the sense I am getting here.

 

[Psalm30]

@Polak what exactly do you want from this thread?

 

[Polak]

Not having my posts deleted would be a start.

Not having people pick on a word I used (that was grammatically correct) and use that as an excuse not to ‘take advice from me’ and actually focus on the topic.

I gave responses to some of the attacks on me and they have now been deleted. It looks like people have said stuff and I have not responded, when I did. Too much censorship here. That’s why I’m done. Thanks flaggers.

 

[Psalm30]

Not having my posts deleted would be a start.

They didn’t get deleted because people disagreed with you. Your posts were cruel and unkind.

Not having people pick on a word I used (that was grammatically correct) and use that as an excuse not to ‘take advice from me’ and actually focus on the topic.

I’m really having a hard time letting this go. It is not okay to call a child “it.” “It” refers to an object. “He” “she” “they” refer to people. A child is not an object. Period. The fact that you think it’s perfectly fine to refer to a human being as “it” is…I’m sorry, there’s no other word…disgusting.

I gave responses to some of the attacks on me and they have now been deleted. It looks like people have said stuff and I have not responded, when I did. Too much censorship here. That’s why I’m done. Thanks flaggers.

Interesting that you see people’s responses to you as “attacks” while failing to see your own attacks on the parents of the child you’re complaining about and anyone on this thread who dares to fail to validate you in your uncharitable attitude.

 

[Polak]

It’s like banging your head against a brick wall. You speak the language and yet you don’t understand that the wording I used isn’t incorrect. Nothing else I can do for you here other than repeat myself.

 

[heidi_storage]

Polak is indeed being incredibly uncharitable and rather egregiously misunderstanding why people are criticizing him, but “it” doesn’t bother me at all; it is an archaic term for a child, but used to be quite common, especially since children were dressed alike until about age 3.