Nominees for worst hymn

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RAGGEDY BAND

*The Raggedy Band is a marching along
Folks keeping rhythm to the beat of the song,
There’s a little boy playing on a dime kazoo,
Holes in his hands match the holes in his shoes,
Leading down the alley with the Raggedy Band,
Stretching all the way to the Promised Land.

And it’s a boom ticka, ticka, ticka
Boom ticka, ticka, ticka
Boom ticka, ticka, ticka, boom.

Washtub drummer beating four to the line
Chopsticks ticking on a bottle of wine,
Stand on the corner, you can see them coming,
Tax collector and old painted woman.
Coming down the alley with the Raggedy Band,
Stretching all the way to the Promised Land.

A fisherman, a wino, an ex-politician,
Dog and a drummer and a mathematician,
Cop and a robber walking side by side,
Judge and a hooker for his blushing bride,
All joining up with the Raggedy Band,
Stretching all the way to the Promised Land….

And can you see, where Broadway turns into Calvary,
And did you know, that the lead child walking doesn’t want to go……*

This was the “theme song” at my old parish. In the parish mission statement were the words “raggedy band of believers”. at the time I did not have any discrepancies with this song nor the parish but as you can probably guess, it wasn’t the most “orthodox” parish 😉 This song (i hesitate to call it a hymn) was used at the end of mass. I remember when I was younger and didn’t know the meaning of the term “hooker” and I asked my parents because we had just sang it in the song!!! hahaha

the last part also perplexes me. I cannot imagine that it would fit the theological understanding of the paschal mystery in any Xn congregation.

And can you see, where Broadway turns into Calvary,
And did you know, that the lead child walking doesn’t want to go……

what is this supposed to mean!?!?! did Christ really not want to go but did it anyways because it was the will of the Father?
 
VietCatholic83 said:
RAGGEDY BAND

*The Raggedy Band is a marching along
Folks keeping rhythm to the beat of the song,
There’s a little boy playing on a dime kazoo,
Holes in his hands match the holes in his shoes,
Leading down the alley with the Raggedy Band,
Stretching all the way to the Promised Land.

And it’s a boom ticka, ticka, ticka
Boom ticka, ticka, ticka
Boom ticka, ticka, ticka, boom.

Washtub drummer beating four to the line
Chopsticks ticking on a bottle of wine,
Stand on the corner, you can see them coming,
Tax collector and old painted woman.
Coming down the alley with the Raggedy Band,
Stretching all the way to the Promised Land.

A fisherman, a wino, an ex-politician,
Dog and a drummer and a mathematician,
Cop and a robber walking side by side,
Judge and a hooker for his blushing bride,
All joining up with the Raggedy Band,
Stretching all the way to the Promised Land….

And can you see, where Broadway turns into Calvary,
And did you know, that the lead child walking doesn’t want to go……*
Click to expand...
This was the “theme song” at my old parish. In the parish mission statement were the words “raggedy band of believers”. at the time I did not have any discrepancies with this song nor the parish but as you can probably guess, it wasn’t the most “orthodox” parish 😉 This song (i hesitate to call it a hymn) was used at the end of mass. I remember when I was younger and didn’t know the meaning of the term “hooker” and I asked my parents because we had just sang it in the song!!! hahaha

the last part also perplexes me. I cannot imagine that it would fit the theological understanding of the paschal mystery in any Xn congregation.

And can you see, where Broadway turns into Calvary,
And did you know, that the lead child walking doesn’t want to go……

what is this supposed to mean!?!?! did Christ really not want to go but did it anyways because it was the will of the Father?

If this is a real hymn I guess I should never complain about the stuff we sing at our church. As bad as I’d thought “Gather Us In” & the like to be, nothing compares to these lyrics…yuck!
 
Reading those lyrics makes me want to sing them to the tune of “Down on the Corner”… which would probably be just as theologically correct, come to think of it…

You don’t need a nickel just to hang around
but if you’ve got a nickel, won’t you lay your money down
Over on the corner, there’s a happy noise
People come from all around to watch them magic boys

Down on the corner, out in the street
Willie and the poor boys are playin’
Bring a nickel, tap your feet.

Whaddya think? 🤷
 
VietCatholic83 said:
NOTICE: THE FOLLOWING IS THE WORST HYMN EVER

Yes, my friends, even worse than Lord of the Dance, They’ll Know we are Christians, and City of God, this song was often used in the LITURGY. This song is completely inappropriate for use in the Mass. It is theologically wrong and just plain BAD. And I thought the 60s were over…

RAGGEDY BAND

*The Raggedy Band is a marching along
Folks keeping rhythm to the beat of the song,
There’s a little boy playing on a dime kazoo,
Holes in his hands match the holes in his shoes,
Leading down the alley with the Raggedy Band,
Stretching all the way to the Promised Land.

And it’s a boom ticka, ticka, ticka
Boom ticka, ticka, ticka
Boom ticka, ticka, ticka, boom.

Washtub drummer beating four to the line
Chopsticks ticking on a bottle of wine,
Stand on the corner, you can see them coming,
Tax collector and old painted woman.
Coming down the alley with the Raggedy Band,
Stretching all the way to the Promised Land.

A fisherman, a wino, an ex-politician,
Dog and a drummer and a mathematician,
Cop and a robber walking side by side,
Judge and a hooker for his blushing bride,
All joining up with the Raggedy Band,
Stretching all the way to the Promised Land….

And can you see, where Broadway turns into Calvary,
And did you know, that the lead child walking doesn’t want to go……*
Click to expand...
I agree this hymn has won hands down!!! I just hope our parish doesn’t get ahold of it.:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
 
Wolseley said:
You like that, do you? 🙂

Well, here’s a couple more (although I can’t take any credit):

*Though the mountains may fall, and the hills turn to dust,
We will never get rid of this song.
Like a big ball of wax, it will stick in our ears,
Drowning out other tunes that belong.
Long beloved by Pastorals,
In the 60s they are trapped.
Though a mother forsakes her child,
Who will dare disown this cr*p?
Could you please play some silence?
Give the microphones away?
Won’t you stop moving to and fro,
What if someone wants to pray?
Let’s all clap with the Father,
For he’s just like you and me.
Once he lived for the Roman rite,
Now he lives for Community.

ANTHEM
We write hymns, we’re composers,
We are fans of one another.
We make hymn books for tomorrow
While we rake in cash today.
We’re the best, we’re the greatest,
So our hymns are all you need.
And our songs are all you hear in church,
The only ones indeed.*

And finally…

*You need not fear that terror of the night,
Indigestion, intestinal pain,
Though thousands writhe in anguish,
Pepto will steer you clear!

And we will feed you all, on chicken wings,
Greasy fries with stringy cheese,
Salad that isn’t all that green,
And ice cream, out of a machine,
At the end!*

(more at mgilleland.com/music/moratorium.htm)
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:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Haven’t looked here for a few days, but you guys have written the best part of the thread!!!
 
Hello,
VietCatholic83 said:
*A fisherman, a wino, an ex-politician,

Dog and a drummer and a mathematician,

Cop and a robber walking side by side,

Judge and a hooker for his blushing bride,*
Click to expand...
These four lines sound like openings to really bad jokes. :rotfl:
 
benedictgal said:
They remind me of:

A billlionaire and his wife…
A movie star,
the professor and Maryanne

Here on Gilligan’s Isle.

:extrahappy: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
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Oh, no! :eek: We’re back to THAT again!

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound,
The tale of a fateful trip
I once was lost but now am found
Aboard this tiny ship!
 
Hello,

From this article.

Leading Melbourne Catholic singer and songwriter Juliette Hughes sympathised with the Pope. “There’s lots of dreadful guitar music that is a stumbling block to people who want to come back to church — that dreadful ‘I want to have a beer with Jesus’ music,” she said.
 
JMJ_coder said:
Hello,

From this article.

Leading Melbourne Catholic singer and songwriter Juliette Hughes sympathised with the Pope. “There’s lots of dreadful guitar music that is a stumbling block to people who want to come back to church — that dreadful ‘I want to have a beer with Jesus’ music,” she said.
Click to expand...
Some of the music is so bad I think one would need something stronger than beer to tolerate it! 😉
 
lak611 said:
Some of the music is so bad I think one would need something stronger than beer to tolerate it! 😉
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Maybe a shot of Laphroaig Scotch Whiskey? I had a sip of that once and I swear an entire shot of that can put hair on your chest. 😃 That stuff is strong. (I don’t drink hard liquor, though, so I’m probably just a wimp with that.)
 
Sarabande said:
Maybe a shot of Laphroaig Scotch Whiskey? I had a sip of that once and I swear an entire shot of that can put hair on your chest. 😃 That stuff is strong. (I don’t drink hard liquor, though, so I’m probably just a wimp with that.)
Click to expand...
The strongest thing I ever tried was absinthe.
 
Hello,

So modern music is sooo bad that it’s turning us all to liquor. :rotfl:
 
SeekerJen said:
I love “One Bread, One Body”. IMO it’s one of the few good ones out of the mediocrity of the post-Vat II pile
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Yep, I second that. That hymn is one of the few in the original list that I think has good lyrics AND a decent tune.

As for the other ones (apart from the Spanish ones) we have them here in NZ too. The universal Church is alive and well:cool:
 
ATeNumquam said:
Yep, I second that. That hymn is one of the few in the original list that I think has good lyrics AND a decent tune.

As for the other ones (apart from the Spanish ones) we have them here in NZ too. The universal Church is alive and well:cool:
Click to expand...
I was the one who put One Bread, One Body on the original list because it’s just too sappy. It is also way over-used and sounds like something Chicago would have sung in its hey-dey.

The Universal Church is trying to regain some semblance of solid, liturgical music. Part of the problem is that OCP has stretched its tentacles all the way down to the Great Barrier Reef, I’m afraid.
 
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