Nominees for worst hymn

[bluerose]

I like “Pescador de Hombres”. It’s my husband’s favorite hymn… I just wish people would stop trying to sing it in English because SO much is lost in the translation!

As for the rest of the list, I’ll take the majority of those songs over the idiotic nonsense of the choir director at our parish when I was growing up (this was back in the '70s) who insisted on including “If I Had A Hammer”, “Blowing in the Wind” and the “Theme from Mahogany” (“Do you know where you’re going to…”–Ugh! The grammar alone is enough to make me want to peel paint off the wall with my teeth!)

Let’s count our blessings, shall we?

 

[Katie1723]

Reading thru these makes me realize how different people have different tastes. I like most of the ones mentioned here
Kathy

 

[PatienceAndLove]

I like Hail Mary, Gentle Woman… course, that’s prolly cause I always solo on it.

As for dislikes:
Malo Malo Thanks Be to God
Digo Si Senor
Seahomba (I totally butchered the spelling on that one)
Lord of the Dance

As for King of Glory…hehehehehe

We actually had “Prayer of St. Francis” and “I Have Loved You” as songs for the prelude in DH and I’s wedding.

 

[Katie1723]

I like Hail Mary, Gentle Woman… course, that’s prolly cause I always solo on it.

I love the way Robert Kochis sings it. Is that YOU??

Kathy

 

[PatienceAndLove]

I love the way Robert Kochis sings it. Is that YOU??

Kathy

No. Sowwy

 

[timotheos]

“Lord of the dance” takes the cake in my opinion. I break out in hives every time.

To me, it totally trivializes Our Lord’s life into some kind of happy little prance through the countryside. To say nothing of the lyrical downplaying of the crucifixion (“It’s hard to dance with the devil on your back”). Kind of like, ‘aw shucks, now my dancing shoes are giving me a little blister’.

Reminds me of the days of macrame, tie dye, God’s eyes and guitars. I know it’s not charitable, but that’s how I feel.

-Tim

 

[PaixGioiaAmor]

Mine is about Sing(ing) a New Church into being (written by a “nun”)! It’s so bad (heretical - a new church?) that when I heard it at Mass a few years ago, I tore the page out and talked to the cantor. We never heard it again! (Just looked again, and it’s on your list.)

The text is scriptural. Read I Corinthians. The hymn text is all about bringing the “gifts that differ”. “Sing a new Church” isn’t about what you think it is; it is a metaphor. Quit reading a political agenda into everything.

 

[CarrieH]

1. The King of Glory - I always think of that Steve Colbert skit. The last time I had to do this I was working at a parish and the pastor made me play the tambourine to it. I never felt so humiliated and dumb, but I offered it up to God and sent in my resignation a couple months later.

http://bestsmileys.com/toliot/13.gif

Oy, that reminds me of last Palm Sunday when I was cantor for the Vigil. The music director had chosen Angotti’s “Sing Hosanna to the King” for the Mass when the choir was singing, so we did it for the other Masses as well. Talk about mortification. Here I am, a woman over 50 with a voice better suited for Verdi, trying to sing a song written for a younger male pop/rock/bluesy-style voice, and trying to get the congregation to join in on the chorus. I hit the notes, but I looked and sounded like a braying mule. Ah well, since my Lenten penance was a bit neglected due to a family crisis, I offered this instead.

Anyway, I’m not going to list my nominees for worst hymn because CAF is already short of funds, and I don’t want to take up excessive bandwidth when others have already listed so many of those on my list. My biggest peeve is some of those treble instrument parts in the Gather series, though. I am primarily a flutist, and some of those instrumental descants are awful beyond description. In those cases, I just use the SATB or guitar version and improvise my own. One descant was so awful, it sounded like it came from one of those technical daily exercise books. I had to fight the urge to take off doing it in each key around the circle of fifths! (Instrumental musicians, you know what I’m talking about; for the rest of you, never mind, it’s a long story).

 

[Sarabande]

Oy, that reminds me of last Palm Sunday when I was cantor for the Vigil. The music director had chosen Angotti’s “Sing Hosanna to the King” for the Mass when the choir was singing, so we did it for the other Masses as well. Talk about mortification. Here I am, a woman over 50 with a voice better suited for Verdi, trying to sing a song written for a younger male pop/rock/bluesy-style voice, and trying to get the congregation to join in on the chorus.

I can totally sympathize!!! I’m classically trained as well and better for something like Mozart. Then I’m asked to sing something that Nat King Cole would do beautifully. It just doesn’t work. Love Nat King Cole, but can’t sing it.

I actually do not know that song. Perhaps I should be thankful that I don’t?

…One descant was so awful, it sounded like it came from one of those technical daily exercise books. I had to fight the urge to take off doing it in each key around the circle of fifths!

Hmm… I wonder what would happen if you actually did give into that urge - at least during practice, not during the mass, of course.

 

[SeekerJen]

I love “One Bread, One Body”. IMO it’s one of the few good ones out of the mediocrity of the post-Vat II pile.

I cannot stand “Song of the Body of Christ”, “I Say Yes, Lord”, “Peace is Flowing Like a River”, “Let There Be Peace on Earth”. “In the Breaking of the Bread” isn’t awful in and of itself, but our music director likes to play it at a really slow tempo and it’s near-impossible for me to sing when I’m the cantor.

There’s another one- really awful- that includes the line “the fabric of our lives” in reference to the altar cloth. I always cringe at that and think of those old cotton commercials. uch:

 

[CarrieH]

I actually do not know that song. Perhaps I should be thankful that I don’t?

Here’s a clip if you want a taste of it:
amazon.com/Rise-Up-People-John-Angotti/dp/B00004T3EO/ref=sr_1_6/102-0544901-4988964?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1194664334&sr=8-6

Music like this has its place, but trying to force a song like this into something for a congregational response is a stretch at best.

Hmm… I wonder what would happen if you actually did give into that urge - at least during practice, not during the mass, of course.

The music director would laugh, nobody else would “get it,” and it would probably help my technique since my fingers are not so nimble as they were when I was a young music student.

 

[Sarabande]

Here’s a clip if you want a taste of it:
amazon.com/Rise-Up-People-John-Angotti/dp/B00004T3EO/ref=sr_1_6/102-0544901-4988964?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1194664334&sr=8-6

Music like this has its place, but trying to force a song like this into something for a congregational response is a stretch at best.

Oh, my. Yes, it does have it’s place and I agree with you, especially if the congregation isn’t used to that kind of music being done during mass. I’ve heard music like that in cultural parishes, such as an African-American parish in the city where I went to college. It was very natural for them, because it was part of their cultural prayer life and many of them were converts from Protestant faiths. I couldn’t imagine trying to attempt that myself. It would be like shoving a square peg into a round hole - a dorky, classically-trained kid like myself trying to sing music that has never been part of my life. I could sit there and take it in, but to perform it? No way. I so, so feel for you.

The music director would laugh, nobody else would “get it,” and it would probably help my technique since my fingers are not so nimble as they were when I was a young music student.

I think I’d be laughing, too… that’s why I wouldn’t want to hear it during mass. I’d have too much of an urge to laugh, especially knowing the reasons why you would do this.

 

[Chi_Roman]

I will have to list a few of mine least favs:

Prayer of St. Francis. I can’t stand this song, and was tortured with it on a regular basis in Catholic school. That was probably the only good thing about going to public high school.

Joy to the World. Used to change up the verses to make fun of things … it’s so repetitive and pointless, I think.

Anything to the tune of Ode to Joy that’s not Ode to Joy, because I never sing the right words.

And, another thing, what’s up with all this changing the words of “brothers” and “men,” etc., to make everyone feel better? I know God made me a woman on purpose. I hate political correctness, because it never contains facts, just platitudes. I always end up singing it it the way I learned, not the way it’s written now, to make libbers feel better, I guess. (Don’t mean to step on toes, sorry.)

And … there are tons, actually. I am a Mid-West-raised Catholic living in the South, and here in eastern Carolina, Catholics are few and far between. The choir director at my parish must be under special directive to pull more people in, because if it weren’t for the Holy Eucharist, I could close my eyes and be in any baptist or Methodist, Pentecostal, etc., church. A small part of me died when I actually saw people swaying to the Alleluia before the Gospel. Where is the reverence, folks?

 

[BradW]

Another in the “words are good, melody not so much” category.

Jesus is Coming Again

Whenever I hear it (which isn’t so much now, but growing up in Assembly of God, oh yeah…) I just want to strap on the roller skates and start waltzing around the outside aisles.

 

[lak611]

In another forum, folks were invited to post their favorite hymns. Following the original poster’s vein, I now ask for candidates for the bottom of the barrel. Here are mine:

Pescador de los Hombres (Lord, When You Stood by the Seashore)
Here I Am, Lord
Glory and Praise to our God
The King of Glory
Sing a New Song Unto the Lord
Lead Me, Lord
O Love of God/O Amor de Dios
Make Me a Channel of Your Peace
Bread of Life
Gather Us In
Song of the Body of Christ
Sing a New Church
Whatsoever You Do
They’ll Know We are Christians
On Eagles’ Wings
Lord of Glory (especially when they sing with a banjo)
Battle Hymn of the Republic
Though the Mountains May Fall
One Bread, One Body
We Remember
Hail Mary, Gentle Woman
We are the Light of the World
Pan de Vida
City of God
Ven al Banquete/Come to the Feast
Alabare

I realize this is a rather long list, but I’m sure that there are some other hymns that are worse.

Most of those are awful. However, I love the Battle Hymn of the Republic. I’ll add one more that I think is terrible: All are Welcome.

 

[Lazerlike42]

I’ve been planning the music for Mass for nearly 3 years now and I’ve always considered Glory and Praise to Our God to be one of the better options available in the missalette.

 

[lak611]

And Battle Hymn of the Republic! Wow, that one is one of my favorites, written in the Civil War times. Our old choir director wrote an ending for it that is just astounding and raises the roof. We sang it last year for a Recessional and people actually applauded at the end ( a “no-no”, I agree, but I think it must have been the weekend of Veteran’s Day or something like that honoring the military, so people were moved!)

I love this one. It’s based on Revelation, (see Rev. 14:17-20 and Rev. 19:15). I especially like part of the last verse of the hymn “As He died to make men holy, let us die to make men free”.

 

[lak611]

And Battle Hymn of the Republic! Wow, that one is one of my favorites, written in the Civil War times. Our old choir director wrote an ending for it that is just astounding and raises the roof. We sang it last year for a Recessional and people actually applauded at the end ( a “no-no”, I agree, but I think it must have been the weekend of Veteran’s Day or something like that honoring the military, so people were moved!)

How did the choir director change it? Here’s Julia Ward Howe’s original lyrics.

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord;
He is trampling out the vintage where the grapes of wrath are stored;
He hath loosed the fateful lightning of His terrible swift sword;
His truth is marching on.
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! His truth is marching on.

I have seen Him in the watch fires of a hundred circling camps
They have builded Him an altar in the evening dews and damps;
I can read His righteous sentence by the dim and flaring lamps;
His day is marching on.
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! His day is marching on.

I have read a fiery Gospel writ in burnished rows of steel;
“As ye deal with My contemners, so with you My grace shall deal”;
Let the Hero, born of woman, crush the serpent with His heel,
Since God is marching on.
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! Since God is marching on.

He has sounded forth the trumpet that shall never call retreat;
He is sifting out the hearts of men before His judgment seat;
Oh, be swift, my soul, to answer Him! be jubilant, my feet;
Our God is marching on.
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! Our God is marching on.

In the beauty of the lilies Christ was born across the sea,
With a glory in His bosom that transfigures you and me:
As He died to make men holy, let us die to make men free;
While God is marching on.
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! While God is marching on.

He is coming like the glory of the morning on the wave,
He is wisdom to the mighty, He is honor to the brave;
So the world shall be His footstool, and the soul of wrong His slave,
Our God is marching on.
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! Our God is marching on.

We usually do not sing the last verse. We end with the second-to-last verse. I do not see anything wrong with this hymn. It is totally Biblical, and there is nothing that implies OSAS.

 

[AuntMartha]

How did the choir director change it?

He didn’t change it; he added two Amens at the end - the first one was sung over four counts and the second over eight, in 4-part harmony, with a glorious closing chord. I swear I got goosebumps and almost cried!

 

[lak611]

He didn’t change it; he added two Amens at the end - the first one was sung over four counts and the second over eight, in 4-part harmony, with a glorious closing chord. I swear I got goosebumps and almost cried!

Wow, that sounds like it would be awesome!