Non-Catholic Marriage Question. Pertaining to the Eucharist

  • Thread starter Thread starter kjs55550
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
K

kjs55550

Guest
Hello,

I recently married my long-time protestant girlfriend. I was born Pentecostal and joined the Catholic church in high school. I grew up and still live in a very evangelical/protestant area, so naturally whoever it was that I was going to date was going to be protestant. We dated and went off to college, and over 6 years later we married. I am a devout Catholic, 4th degree in the Knights of Columbus, and we abstained from sex for our entirety of dating. Although she is not Catholic herself, she is very spiritual as well.

We did not have a Catholic wedding because she is not Catholic. I’ll admit that I found some of the rules of marriage in the Church confusing and difficult to handle. We were married in a wedding chapel by a nondenominational minister. It was a very Christ-centered wedding, although a priest was not present at the ceremony. I realize that my marriage may or may not be valid in the eyes of the Church, so I have abstained from the Eucharist since. I want to partake in the Sacrament of the Eucharist obviously, so want needs to happen in order from this point forward?

I want to make it known that I absolutely do not expect my wife to change her beliefs. Although we have had many conversations about this, and I do hope that she comes home to the church, I am in no way going to “force” her to commit to joining or to commit to our kids being raised Catholic. In a similar way, she does not expect me to join her church. We have agreed to do Saturday mass and Sundays at her church. Please don’t assume that we are ignorant about this. We are very happy together and both very religious.

Finally, I currently don’t have “a priest,” because our current situation requires us to go to mass at different places. In other words, there is not one parish that I go to regularly, although I go to mass every week.
 
Last edited:
kjs55550 said:
Finally, I currently don’t have “a priest,” because our current situation requires us to go to mass at different places
Click to expand...
But unless you are moving regularly (i.e. no fixed address), you are part of a Parish based on geography. The Pastor of that Parish is your priest. If you don’t know which one that is, see your Diocese website.
 
Firstly, I think what you did in high school of converting was (and is) a really admirable thing; it’s really terrifying to stand out in such an environment, and especially that way. Really glad to hear that you are also 4th degree in the Knights of St. Columbus; admittedly, I don’t know huge amounts about the society, but I believe one of the core principles is charity, so again well done for that. You certainly sound like a brilliant Christian role model for your children. On that basis, you can be rest assured that God will look very favourably upon what you’ve done with your life.

With regard to the specific point about the inter-denominational marriage, the Catholic Church teaches that a dispensation is required for such, and that this is granted by the ecclesia. Also, for these marriages, it is upheld that a Catholic priest ought to be present, with a declaration made to your partner that it is your intention to bring up your children in the Catholic faith. However, this last point is more so a case of “doing what you can” to bring them up in the faith, rather that objectively stating that they MUST be brought up in the Catholic faith.

It sounds like you may have made the right call to abstain from the Eucharist for the time being. The intricacies of the marriage between a Catholic & non-Catholic Christian are certainly rampant, and you would need to speak to a priest who will listen to your whole story and not jump to rash decisions. I’m not entirely sure what advice they will give you, and it is possible that you may be passed on to speak with the diocesan bishop over this because there are a great many details in the story.

Praying for you, your partner, and your children.
 
kjs55550 said:
I want to partake in the Sacrament of the Eucharist obviously, so want needs to happen in order from this point forward?
Click to expand...
If you met with your priest about getting married and followed Church law on marriage, then your marriage is valid. The Church provides for a Catholic to be married outside Catholic form via a dispensation when marrying a non-Catholic.

If you did not follow Church law, then you need to go meet with your pastor regarding a Convalidation. Either through new exchange of consent in Catholic form or via radical sanation where there is no new exchange of consent.
kjs55550 said:
Finally, I currently don’t have “a priest,” because our current situation requires us to go to mass at different places. In other words, there is not one parish that I go to regularly, although I go to mass every week.
Click to expand...
You do have a pastor, because parishes are territorial. Whether you attend mass there every week or not isn’t really relevant.

Go to the pastor of your closest Catholic parish and talk to him about your situation.
 
1ke said:
You do have a pastor, because parishes are territorial. Whether you attend mass there every week or not isn’t really relevant.

Go to the pastor of your closest Catholic parish and talk to him about your situation.
Click to expand...
This^^^
1ke said:
then you need to go meet with your pastor regarding a Convalidation.
Click to expand...
because, this^^^
 
Daniel27 said:
With regard to the specific point about the inter-denominational marriage, the Catholic Church teaches that a dispensation is required for such, and that this is granted by the ecclesia.
Click to expand...
Dispensation is required for disparity of cult (marriage to an unbaptized person). Mixed marriage requires permission, which isn’t the same thing as a dispensation.

Marriage outside Catholic form requires dispensation.
Daniel27 said:
Also, for these marriages, it is upheld that a Catholic priest ought to be present, with a declaration made to your partner that it is your intention to bring up your children in the Catholic faith.
Click to expand...
This is not accurate.
 
@1ke Regarding the dispensation vs. permission thing, just checked the CCC and you are indeed correct. As for the second point, what part do you find incorrect?
 
Last edited:
kjs55550 said:
4th degree in the Knights of Columbus,
Click to expand...
Interesting. The Knights require members to be a “practical Catholic”, that means that those in irregular marriages cannot be members.

Anyway, talk to your priest about convalidation.

The US Bishops have put together this website, it will answer just about every question you may have re getting married Catholic 🙂

 
Kindnessmatters said:
You really could bring your questions to any priest.
Click to expand...
In the sense that any priest can be presumed to know the relevant parts of Canon Law, yes. But your Pastor is the one who is responsible for your soul under the direction of the Bishop, so he is the proper person to approach for questions about specific situations. Also I omitted the part about your geographic (sometimes called canonical) Parish being where your sacraments are normally given and where sacramental records are kept.
 
You were married outside the Church you stated. Did the Church approve this marriage ceremony or validate your marriage?
 
Daniel27 said:
As for the second point, what part do you find incorrect?
Click to expand...
All of it.

There is absolutely no requirement that the Catholic priest be present for the marriage ceremony of a Catholic dispensed from canonical form. Moreover if he does attend, he may not receive vows or in any way preside over the marriage ceremony.

Nor is there a “declaration” to the non-Catholic regarding promises towards raising children during the marriage ceremony, whether Catholic form or not.
 
Last edited:
No, I did not consult the church on this. Although it is my soul desire to continue worshipping as a Catholic. I do not understand why a marriage of two protestants is sacramental and valid, whereas my marriage to a non-Catholic Protestant needs permission, and is not valid because I didn’t ask permission. I live in a very evangelical/protestant area and marriage (as you know) is very different between protestants and catholics. I was ignorant on Church rules of marriage.
 
kjs55550 said:
I do not understand why a marriage of two protestants is sacramental and valid, whereas my marriage to a non-Catholic Protestant needs permission, and is not valid because I didn’t ask permission.
Click to expand...
It isn’t invalid due to lack of permission for mixed marriage— that doesn’t render a marriage invalid as it would if you failed to receive a dispensation for disparity of cult to marry an unbaptized person. Illicit, not invalid.

It is invalid due to lack of canonical form without dispensation. The Church has authority over us, and the sacraments. The Church binds and looses.

Therefore, it is incumbent upon us to follow Church law or accept the consequences of not doing so.

It can be rectified easily. Go talk to a priest.
 
Last edited:
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct...rriage-11250&usg=AOvVaw0msZ_3gwAEEpdYh4iSzaXO

This explains the requirement for a priest being present at a mixed marriage (and a mixed marriage is in the strictest sense a marriage between a Catholic and baptised non-Catholic as opposed to a marriage between a Catholic and non-Christian)

Also, the baptised non-Catholic party does not make the declaration themselves, but the Catholic party does.

(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.) 1ke:
There is absolutely no requirement that the Catholic priest be present for the marriage ceremony of a Catholic dispensed from canonical form. Moreover if he does attend, he may not receive vows or in any way preside over the marriage ceremony.

Nor is there a “declaration” to the non-Catholic regarding promises towards raising children during the marriage ceremony, whether Catholic form or not.
Click to expand...
The Catholic also does not have to promise that the children will be raised Catholic, only that it is their intention for them to be raised Catholic. For more info on this point check out Father Mike Schmitz’s video on mixed marriages.

I’m not quite sure of the basis and source(s) for your above claims.
 
Agreed, I’m now shaking waiting to be decimated.
 
Last edited:
Daniel27 said:
This explains the requirement for a priest being present at a mixed marriage
Click to expand...
No, it doesn’t explain that there is a requirement for a priest to be present.

It says a priest MAY be present. Which is what I said.
Daniel27 said:
Also, the baptised non-Catholic party does not make the declaration themselves, but the Catholic party does.
Click to expand...
And they do not do so in the marriage ceremony.

As I said.
Daniel27 said:
I’m not quite sure of the basis and source(s) for your above claims.
Click to expand...
The Code of Canon Law and the Norms on Ecumenism.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top