Non Catholic Spouse and Birth Control

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ajecphotos said:
What about when someone is in ‘that moment’ of lust for each other, do they have to wait for someone to pee in a cup first? What a load of cobblers!
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Yeah, except that’s not how it works.

It IS how it works with barrier methods of birth control, though, oddly enough…:hmmm:
 
Just a plug for ladycomp. When we used NFP we coupled it with ladycomp which was incredibly accurate and easy. You can get one from anywhere from 300 to 500 dollars. It is basically a computer that tells you when it is safe to have relations (green) or risky (yellow) or unsafe (red)
Ladycomp can also be reversed to be used as a fertility monitor to try to concieve. All it is is entering dates of cycles and taking your temp with teh thermometer hooked to it.

We tried several methods of NFP. And we tried the fertility watch, and even a little microscope that tracks your saliva for signs of ovulation. Ladycomp was by far the easiest and most trusted thing for us.
 
ajecphotos said:
What about when someone is in ‘that moment’ of lust for each other, do they have to wait for someone to pee in a cup first? What a load of cobblers!
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Lust is sinful and should be avoided. As far as being “in the mood” if that is what you meant, well NFP is a charting system and not a single test at a moment in time. Fertile times are determined based on historical patterns obtained over many months of charting. Usually the nfp charting is done first thing when you wake up in the morning.
 
whm said:
Lust is sinful and should be avoided. As far as being “in the mood” if that is what you meant, well NFP is a charting system and not a single test at a moment in time. Fertile times are determined based on historical patterns obtained over many months of charting. Usually the nfp charting is done first thing when you wake up in the morning.
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How can lust be sinful for a spouse??? Rubbish
 
ajecphotos said:
What about when someone is in ‘that moment’ of lust for each other, do they have to wait for someone to pee in a cup first? What a load of cobblers!
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That’s just not how it works.

I get up in the morning. Like most people, I need to pee after sleeping 7-8 hours. I do so, I dip a test stick in it–done.

As others have pointed out, condoms do require you to stop ahem what you’re doing in order to put one on.

ETA: I think that a brief scan of the quoted poster’s account profile, in particular his/her location, may be enlightening to those of us concerned with these posts. 😉
 
natural family planning is contraception! Still a way of stopping babies!

Lusting for ones parner is normal human behaviour!!
 

  1. ajecphotos said:
    natural family planning is contraception! Still a way of stopping babies!

    Lusting for ones parner is normal human behaviour!!
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    Coming from the man who cheated on his wife, didn’t get tested for STDs afterwards, and didn’t bother to tell his wife about any of it :rolleyes:
 
Alix1912 said:
I am a Lutheran MS. My husband is Catholic. He was very lapsed when we married and we got married in my church. 8 months later he rediscovered his Catholic faith, and became the super catholic.
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I am a non-Catholic, married (very happily) to a Catholic. I’ve dealt with a few of the issues you are experiencing and I “feel your pain.” Being in a mixed marriage does have it’s challenges, and when one party to the marriage unilaterally changes course, I can imagine that it would be especially troubling. Especially if they expect you to be accommodating and just suck it up when the inevitable differences arise. I admire you for coming to this forum and trying to understand the Catholic perspective on these issues. That is my reason for being here too. My wife regards her Catholicism as an important part of who she is, and I try very hard to be understanding and respectful. As you are beginning to discover, however, sometimes you just have to draw the line.

My wife and I have three wonderful kids. I am very proud of each and every one of them, and not a day goes by that I’m not overwhelmed with gratitude that they were entrusted to us. That said, when Number Three came home from the hospital, I knew I was done fathering children. My wife and I sat down and had a heart-to-heart talk and I explained to her that I had hit my limit. As it turned out, she was pretty much done too. The question was, what course of action would we follow to achieve our goal of remaining a three child family. She expressed many of the concerns you have regarding ABC and having her tubes tied. Barrier methods seemed like a less-than-ideal solution, and I had no confidence in NFP (which, at the time, was sometimes referred to as Vatican Roulette). So, I decided to have a vasectomy. Although she expressed some discomfort with the idea, ultimately it was my decision. I’ve never regretted it.

It seems that you are at the same cross-roads my wife and I were once at. On the one hand you want to respect your husband and his wishes, but at the same time you know you’re through having children. As one non-Catholic to another, it might finally be your time to draw the line in the sand. Since you have concerns about the pill and IUDs, and your husband won’t/can’t cooperate with a barrier method, and if you’re really sure you want a permenant solution, getting your tubes tied might be something for you to seriously consider.

Right about now many folks on here are probably seeing red. Yes, this is against Church teaching. And some on here might tell you that, even as a non-Catholic, getting your tubes tied is sinful. And some dim-wit is probably going to tell you that you are “mutilating your body.” But not one of them is going to struggle through your next unwanted pregnancy for you. From my perspective, this is a matter for you and your conscience.

Best of luck with a difficult situation.
 
WillyAL said:
I am a non-Catholic, married (very happily) to a Catholic. I’ve dealt with a few of the issues you are experiencing and I “feel your pain.” Being in a mixed marriage does have it’s challenges, and when one party to the marriage unilaterally changes course, I can imagine that it would be especially troubling. Especially if they expect you to be accommodating and just suck it up when the inevitable differences arise. I admire you for coming to this forum and trying to understand the Catholic perspective on these issues. That is my reason for being here too. My wife regards her Catholicism as an important part of who she is, and I try very hard to be understanding and respectful. As you are beginning to discover, however, sometimes you just have to draw the line.

My wife and I have three wonderful kids. I am very proud of each and every one of them, and not a day goes by that I’m not overwhelmed with gratitude that they were entrusted to us. That said, when Number Three came home from the hospital, I knew I was done fathering children. My wife and I sat down and had a heart-to-heart talk and I explained to her that I had hit my limit. As it turned out, she was pretty much done too. The question was, what course of action would we follow to achieve our goal of remaining a three child family. She expressed many of the concerns you have regarding ABC and having her tubes tied. Barrier methods seemed like a less-than-ideal solution, and I had no confidence in NFP (which, at the time, was sometimes referred to as Vatican Roulette). So, I decided to have a vasectomy. Although she expressed some discomfort with the idea, ultimately it was my decision. I’ve never regretted it.

It seems that you are at the same cross-roads my wife and I were once at. On the one hand you want to respect your husband and his wishes, but at the same time you know you’re through having children. As one non-Catholic to another, it might finally be your time to draw the line in the sand. Since you have concerns about the pill and IUDs, and your husband won’t/can’t cooperate with a barrier method, and if you’re really sure you want a permenant solution, getting your tubes tied might be something for you to seriously consider.

Right about now many folks on here are probably seeing red. Yes, this is against Church teaching. And some on here might tell you that, even as a non-Catholic, getting your tubes tied is sinful. And some dim-wit is probably going to tell you that you are “mutilating your body.” But not one of them is going to struggle through your next unwanted pregnancy for you. From my perspective, this is a matter for you and your conscience.

Best of luck with a difficult situation.
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This is the best advice so far. It is not right or good that you are making all the compromises to honor your husband’s faith. You may want to try finding advice someplace other than CAF. Being a non-catholic, I am not sure you will get balanced advice. It will mostly come from the same perspective.
 
Thank you for the advice.

We are currently still trying to decide what to do about this and many other aspects of our marriage that have become problematic due to his decision.

Again thank you for the advice.
 
Your husband is being a jerk and you can tell him I said so 😉

Figure out a compromise on the NFP thing is indeed incredibly difficult. I’m going to throw my vote in for Marquette in this case too if you decide to stick with it. You don’t actually even have to pee in a cup – you can pee right on the absorbent end of the test stick and then no mess to dispose of after except tossing it in the trash.

As to the decorating, my husband and I are both Catholic (I converted) and there isn’t a single crucifix anywhere in our house. a) They’re creepy. b) While the church has a lot of rules, home decor isn’t one of them. 🙂

And as far as missing church to attend Mass is concerned, your husband should totally be the one compromising on that. All Masses have vigil options the night before, which is not the case for Protestant services. If you want to go to your church service Sunday morning, your husband should either go to Mass alone or arrange his schedule so he can go to the vigil the night before and then go with you to your church in the morning.
 
QuasiCatholic said:
As to the decorating, my husband and I are both Catholic (I converted) and there isn’t a single crucifix anywhere in our house. a) They’re creepy.
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I don’t know about creepy, but I’m always reminded of this joke:
A ten-year-old Jewish boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis; but to no avail. Finally, at the insistence of a family friend, they decided to enroll their son in a private Catholic school. They had their doubts about putting their Jewish son in a private Catholic school, but thought his education came first.
After the first day, the boy’s parents were surprised when he walked in after school with a stern, focused and very determined expression on his face. He went straight past them, right to his room and quietly closed the door.
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For nearly two hours he toiled away in his room with math books strewn about his desk and the surrounding floor. He emerged long enough to eat, and after quickly cleaning his plate, went straight back to his room, closed the door and worked feverishly at his studies until bedtime.
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This pattern of behavior continued until it was time for the first quarter’s report card. The boy walked in with it unopened, laid it on the dinner table and went straight to his room.
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Cautiously, his mother opened it and, to her amazement, she saw a large red ‘A’ under the subject of Math. Overjoyed, she and her husband rushed into their son’s room, thrilled at his remarkable progress.
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“Was it the nuns that did it?” the father asked. The boy shook his head and said “No.”
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“Was it the one-to-one tutoring? The peer-mentoring?”
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“No.”
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“The textbooks? The teachers? The curriculum?”
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“No”, said the son. “On that first day, when I walked in the front door and saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I KNEW they were serious!”
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Just an honest question here: are there any medical provisions that the church would allow the couple to not practice an openness to life? I know the church allows the pill or hormonal types of birth control if medically necessary, can the same be true for avoiding pregnancy if it were medically unsafe/would pose a serious health risk if the woman was to become pregnant?
 
PrincessRenae said:
Just an honest question here: are there any medical provisions that the church would allow the couple to not practice an openness to life? I know the church allows the pill or hormonal types of birth control if medically necessary, can the same be true for avoiding pregnancy if it were medically unsafe/would pose a serious health risk if the woman was to become pregnant?
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I am confused. The Church does not allow any Birth Control for medical reasons. What does happen is that sometimes the pill can be used as a medical treatment for other conditions. The “birth control” aspect of the chemicals is the unintended side effect. This is called the principle of double effect.

Yes, the Church does not “make” people have sex at their life’s peril.
 
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