Non-traditional open to life

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SeaShoreGirl

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My FH and I, for many reasons, both feel called to having a small family 2 or 3 kids. For many reasons also we will be happy if God blesses us with that number…theyd all be miracles.

In that we plan on being open to life in other ways. Having the money to support pregnancy centers in order to eliminate the threat of abortion on some children. Donating time to programs that help families in crisis. Hosting fresh air fund kids (which often prevents a life of crime). In general being a strong married couple.

To me open to life means being open to all lives in a unique way…not only biological children. Do you have any other non-traditional ideas of how to be open to life for married couples/families?
 
Being available for emergency placement foster parenting depending on your state, possibly babysitting for those with much larger families so they can get their “alone time,” putting in some of that extra time actively teaching in a Couples to Couples league. Those are some ideas.
 
The best way to be open to life is not to set limits on the blessings God has planned for you.
 
Castello said:
The best way to be open to life is not to set limits on the blessings God has planned for you.
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shallow, typical Catholic answer. I dont need to explain why to you…simply what is. Why isn’t that good enough? Just answer the question.
 
Castello said:
The best way to be open to life is not to set limits on the blessings God has planned for you.
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I agree sometimes there are grave reasons and as long as NFP is being used which we have no way of knowing because we aren’t hanging out in their bedroom then it is between them and their respective spiritual directors. She also did not say that they were setting limits per se. I don’t think she is saying that if #4 came along that she would not accept the gift.
 
Castello said:
Wow, shallow because I think children are blessings?

Wow.
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Did you actually read the beginning post or were you too busy jumping to the conclusion that you’re superior in your love of children?

You are being shallow because all you are doing is robitacally repeating the Church’s teaching without any understanding.
 
And again, insulting. I have not called you names. Please, stop calling me names.

My advice, as someone who has been a mother longer than many posters here have been alive, do not limit yourself. Remain open to God every day of your life.
 
Castello said:
And again, insulting. I have not called you names. Please, stop calling me names.

My advice, as someone who has been a mother longer than many posters here have been alive, do not limit yourself. Remain open to God every day of your life.
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Calling names and hilighting the belligernt way your treating me to what it actually is are two different things. This is MY thread and if you dont like what I asked, kindly stay off.
 
I feel compelled to point out that Castello’s answer is not at all ‘shallow’. The catholic teaching on this is quite deep. The fact that such a simle answer can be so deep required prayer and study. Good job Castello! 👍

And prayers for your family, SeaShoreGirl. I feel your uneasyness at the possibility of many children…we have 4 (in a 2- bedroom condo!!) and it is not easy at times. I hope that when I meet the Lord, I will hear him say “well done, good and faithful servant” His is really the only approval we will need forever after all. Good luck to you.
 
God might know of a relative who will need fostering or adoption in the future. He might know that letting you know you’ll eventually be a mom of 7 would overwhelm you now so he’s letting you take it a day at a time. He might be preparing you now for a small family. He might know that your three will be special needs children who will take all your effort. Who knows! You can be both open to biological life and comfortable with interior knowledge that that might not look a certain way. These aren’t mutually exclusive.

Mentor for pregnant women/couples
Mentor for new parents or parents in crisis
Prison ministry
La Leche League leader
Foster parent
Adoptive parent
Respite provider for foster parents
Foster Grandparents
Big Brothers Big Sisters
Missionary
Pregnancy Center volunteer
Retreat provider for priests and/or religious
Webmaster for people doing the work of God
Third order/tertiary
Involved mom in your schools, parish, and neighborhood open to whatever God puts in front of you

The list could go on and on to where God will need you. Don’t confuse being open to life in your marriage with doing this work. They’re all about being open to where God leads and you don’t need to worry about one taking priority over another.

vimeo.com/3182711
 
SeaShoreGirl said:
My FH and I, for many reasons, both feel called to having a small family 2 or 3 kids. For many reasons also we will be happy if God blesses us with that number…theyd all be miracles.

In that we plan on being open to life in other ways. Having the money to support pregnancy centers in order to eliminate the threat of abortion on some children. Donating time to programs that help families in crisis. Hosting fresh air fund kids (which often prevents a life of crime). In general being a strong married couple.

To me open to life means being open to all lives in a unique way…not only biological children. Do you have any other non-traditional ideas of how to be open to life for married couples/families?
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These are all noble aspirations. They are not, however, substitutes for being open to life in your marriage. For Catholics “being open to life” is directly related to the language in the marriage vows of " Will you accept children lovingly from God, and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?"

What you describe is being pro-actively pro-life. And that’s a good thing.
typical Catholic answer.
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The operative word being “Catholic” and that’s also a good thing.
 
Hey, SSG, it seems to me there may be some confusion because of a different use of the expression “open to life”.
 
Those are all wonderful ideas. None of them specifically is “open to life” in terms of a Catholic marriage. The term “open to life” applies to the married couple’s sexual relationship–not contracepting as well as accepting as many children as God intends. In other words, a couple could do all of those things you’ve listed, but if they were contracepting they would not be “open to life.”

That being said, if you and DH have discerned that you should not actively try to get pregnant again right now, that is between you, God, and possibly a spiritual director.

It might be more accurate for you to refer to these things as being pro-life or promoting a pro-life stance. Those are wonderful and respectable things to do! That is great that you are promoting life at all of its stages, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that you are “open to life” in terms of a Catholic marriage. I think that is what is causing some confusion in this thread.
 
SummerSmiles said:
It might be more accurate for you to refer to these things as being pro-life or promoting a pro-life stance. Those are wonderful and respectable things to do! That is great that you are promoting life at all of its stages, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that you are “open to life” in terms of a Catholic marriage. I think that is what is causing some confusion in this thread.
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Well said! I think this probably clears up what many have been thinking here. 👍
 
@castello: you didn’t deserve that.

SSG: I guess what I see in your post is that you of course may have serious reasons to postpone pregnancy when you in fact get married, and no one, on this thread anyway, has questioned your discernment of that, which is between you, FH, and God.

That being said, how could you, before you are even married, know with such certainty what you are being called to? By definition it is an ongoing process of prayerful discernment. That’s what I took Castello to mean.
 
choose_to_love said:
That being said, how could you, before you are even married, know with such certainty what you are being called to? By definition it is an ongoing process of prayerful discernment. That’s what I took Castello to mean.
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I didn’t comment before this, but that’s what I thought Castello meant as well and was also what I was thinking as I read the OP. This is something I’ve come to understand more clearly after being married- that to throw out a number before being married doesn’t really mean anything. How many children to have isn’t something that can be discerned before marriage, it’s something you actively discern while being married, continually.

All of the suggestions for contributing to society are certainly very positive things, but they really aren’t “substitutes” for anything. They’re just good ways to live out the Catholic faith and have nothing to do with being “open to life” in the way the Church means it.
 
Katie966 said:
I didn’t comment before this, but that’s what I thought Castello meant as well and was also what I was thinking as I read the OP. This is something I’ve come to understand more clearly after being married- that to throw out a number before being married doesn’t really mean anything. How many children to have isn’t something that can be discerned before marriage, it’s something you actively discern while being married, continually.

All of the suggestions for contributing to society are certainly very positive things, but they really aren’t “substitutes” for anything. They’re just good ways to live out the Catholic faith and have nothing to do with being “open to life” in the way the Church means it.
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Agree with this and with choose to love’s response.

Being “open to life” means just that - being open, not closing the door pre-emptively.
 
choose_to_love said:
@castello: you didn’t deserve that.

SSG: I guess what I see in your post is that you of course may have serious reasons to postpone pregnancy when you in fact get married, and no one, on this thread anyway, has questioned your discernment of that, which is between you, FH, and God.

That being said, how could you, before you are even married, know with such certainty what you are being called to? By definition it is an ongoing process of prayerful discernment. That’s what I took Castello to mean.
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:thumbsup:Well said.
 
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