Not dating thread

[LaMusicaSenior]

SIngleness can be a blessing whether for a period of time or for a life time if that is what you are called to do. I didn’t date until college and didn’t date a whole lot until I met my husband. I dated maybe a total of three years of my life. Well, I guess that isn’t entirely true since I still date my husband. By the by, I really don’t like how some in this thread are bashing marriage. It may not be right for you, but don’t mock what is other people’s calling from God or say it isn’t worth the challenge that devalues my husband and I’s marriage which is very important to me and is a sacrament.

^ This.

 

[CompSciGuy]

I’ve never dated before, it never came naturally to me; I want to but I am confused about it. I feel like I don’t fully understand it. I have made attempts but they have been unsuccessful. I am a nice guy and handsome but I’m not really that confident or funny and I tend to be kind of shy and quiet, and I guess girls typically don’t like those kinds of guys.

 

[Luvz2travel]

I’ve never dated before, it never came naturally to me; I want to but I am confused about it. I feel like I don’t fully understand it. I have made attempts but they have been unsuccessful. I am a nice guy and handsome but I’m not really that confident or funny and I tend to be kind of shy and quiet, and I guess girls typically don’t like those kinds of guys.

Used to be rather shy myself and yes you’re right outgoing social people seem to have an easier time. When I became outgoing and social though I just attacted more of the same type. I don’t know the answer but if you feel like you want to do it then I would try making friends with ladies first then try moving on from there.

 

[Kenny_Kamel]

I’m not dating, but not by choice though, because no one has given me the opportunity to date them for a while. I’m actively searching for someone but despite what many say to the contrary, no one will muster up the interest. Lotta talk, not much follow through

 

[Marybeloved]

I’ve never dated before, it never came naturally to me; I want to but I am confused about it. I feel like I don’t fully understand it. I have made attempts but they have been unsuccessful. I am a nice guy and handsome but I’m not really that confident or funny and I tend to be kind of shy and quiet, and I guess girls typically don’t like those kinds of guys.

Oh, but they do! Introversion is our main problem though, I think- for many of us. To my mind, an introverted, religious and conservative young man/woman is just not an advantageous combination to be, in terms of modern dating. If you were in a conservative Muslim society you’d be set up by the family/ society and you’d find someone even if you lived in your bedroom most of the time. Oh well, that’s life for you.

 

[Lochias]

Yes it goes both ways. It seems like a lot of people just want to dabble or window shop. That’s fine but when someone just disappears without a goodbye or farewell that causes some hurt feelings. I never took it seriously but some really do.

Yeah, I guess the sudden disappearances did hurt my feelings, to an extent. I felt like an item for sale rather than a person. Not a good way to feel, so I got out of it.

 

[CompSciGuy]

Oh, but they do! Introversion is our main problem though, I think- for many of us. To my mind, an introverted, religious and conservative young man/woman is just not an advantageous combination to be, in terms of modern dating. If you were in a conservative Muslim society you’d be set up by the family/ society and you’d find someone even if you lived in your bedroom most of the time. Oh well, that’s life for you.

There’s got to be a way for introverts to meet… Is it really hard for us just because we the introverts tend to stay hidden, out of the limelight, and don’t get noticed? Surely we should be able to find a way to notice each other…

And as for your comment on traditional Muslim marriages… as unromantic as it may sound, in my opinion our “dating” process is probably just as arbitrary as the traditional Muslim marriage. In one, you’re having family choose your spouse for you, in the other, you’re allowing yourself to be swayed by your own emotions (something that I make a point of not doing in pretty much any life situation), and experience the wonderful “high” of falling in love, which according to statistics lasts at most two years and then passes, usually after you’re married, and then you find that your marriage is hard like everybody else’s and you have to work for your love and cooperate with each other. And I’m not saying that this is a bad thing… real love is one that takes sacrifices, it’s not a feeling… which is probably why dating is so confusing to me… From my observations, it seems like each gender has their own weaknesses… guys often tend to focus too much on the girl’s looks, and girls often tend to focus too much on how the guy makes them feel… both are temporary and can lead to very bad decisions. In my opinion, dating should be a preparation for marriage, preparation meaning a practice.

Personally I just want to find someone who is on the same page as me, and who is devout, conscientious, kind, patient and is willing to cooperate in a marriage. That would be the best possible scenario!