Not getting a seat on the city transit at 37 weeks pregnant

[Serap]

So today, for the upteenth time, I’m on the subway/underground train and people are sitting down in front of me while my huge belly is basically hitting them in the face. Frankly I’m getting tired of it!!! What’s wrong with people these days???

So this morning, I take a look at the people sitting around me and they are all young women in their early to mid twenties! I felt angry b/c there is no excuse for such rude and ignorant behaviour. If I were an elderly person with a cane, it wouldn’t have made a difference.

So finally at a transfer station, these young women all get up and I couldn’t help myself……I said, “I hope when you guys are 9 months pregnant, no one gives you a seat too!”

There were people standing beside me applauding me saying that they agreed with me. I felt a wee bit embarrassed that I let my anger slip out, but come on guys!!! Where’s the courtesy???

I always offer my seat to elderly, children under 5, disabled and pregnant women. I don’t understand why it is that about 70% of the time I go on the transit, people don’t offer a seat??? UUUUGGGGHHHHH!!! It’s so bad in my city that they actually had to pass a by-law that if you don’t give your seat to an elderly person, you can be fined!!!

Vent over…

 

[chevalier]

in my city that they actually had to pass a by-law that if you don’t give your seat to an elderly person, you can be fined!!!

Hmm… what a nice idea. What about courtesy training with the National Guard for the male offenders? “And now, private, we’re going to teach you the most important word there is for you. That word is: 'sir’…”

 

[KCT]

There were people standing beside me applauding me saying that they agreed with me.

The people who were applauding, did they give up their seats??

 

[Sarabande]

When I was taking the NYC subways, before I started to drive to Manhatten as I got further along and didn’t want to be too close to people during the busy times on the subways/buses (my belly was too much in the way), I was touched by how willing people were to give up their seats for me. But there was one instance, where I was the only one giving up my seat to an elderly woman who had no place to sit. She saw the size of me and she would not take my seat and finally, another younger person got the hint and gave up his seat for her. One instance out of many isn’t too bad, though, which is a breath of fresh air. But I will say, it tends to be older people in their 40s and up who are willing to give up their seats. The younger people who are my age and younger seem to be the last ones who’d give up their seats.

That said, I can totally sympathise with you. I know how you feel, especially where I live. I don’t know what it is with people in your situation and with the people I’ve come across in the suburban community I live in. Where I am, they seem to be much more oblivious to it. I would rather think they are oblivious than selfish. It’s not that I expect people to offer to help me carry out heavy groceries or give up a seat for me.
(Actually, my family gets really upset with me being a 36 week pregnant woman and still trying to move heavy stuff on my own, doing heavy housework, etc. My husband just last night had to stop me from moving an empty bookcase from the baby’s room to the guest room. It takes me 10 times longer to get things done due to being this far into the pregnancy, but I hate asking people for help and I don’t like keeping still. I’ve always been a loner, I guess. haha!) But it does seem as if people tend to be caught just in their little worlds and either have forgotten about or were never taught that there might be people around them who may need their help no matter how small it is.

In my area, perhaps part of it is that people are so used to driving everywhere and doing everything on their own without much interaction with others around them, that they’ve forgotten or never knew what it was like to take public transit or to stand in a long line when you’re far into your pregnancy, totally sore and in pain with swollen feet and ankles, a painful lower back and a lopsided upper torso. haha! I don’t know.

 

[Serap]

The people who were applauding, did they give up their seats??

no LOL…they were standing too. I guess they were thinking what I was saying

Sarabande - you and I are due date buddies, so we both know how one another is feeling right now. Perhaps young people don’t understand until they’ve actually broken their ankle or had some kind of short-term handicapp while trying to ride the transit.

Talk about pain…now I can’t sleep at night on top of it all! ARHHHH! I have upper back pain, lower back pain, sore hips, shooting pains down my inner thighs…it’s not fun. Now I’m also experiencing headaches and nausea, I think from change in harmones too.

For all you guys out there that give pregnant women a seat…THANK YOU!!! We appreciate it more than you know!

 

[Catholic90]

There were people standing beside me

The people who were applauding, did they give up their seats??

If they were standing, how could they give up their seats…??

 

[aspawloski4th]

While someone should of given up their seat. Howabout driving where you go? Here in Grand Rapids Michigan theres not much of a public transit system and everyone drives where they go. One day I had to have a tooth pulled because it was abscessed and had me in severe pain. My car had broken down the day before and was in the shop being fixed. On the way to the dentist to get it pulled, I had to stand despite being in obvious pain and no one cared, and after the tooth being pulled in the office and being obviously “out of it” the bus went right on by the bus stop I was at. It was a 93 degree day and humid to addd insult to injury. I havent rode a city buss since that ordeal 12 years ago. It’s just easier to drive.

 

[ack]

Do your public vehicles have “priority seats” or other seats reserved for those who are handicapped? Every system I’ve rode in the US has had such seats, so I can’t imagine that you wouldn’t have them.

Assuming that your system has such seats, why not just find a priority seat where an able-bodied person is sitting, and simply request that they give you their seat? If they aren’t handicapped, they’re required to comply.

 

[Litcrit]

Probably these young women who’ve never been pregnant just don’t know what it feels like (which is understandable), and no one has taught them (which isn’t - standing up for pregnant women, people with small chilkdren and the elderly is part of normal upbringing and simple manners, but we’ve been lacking in those areas lately as it is).

In my country, public transportation has special seats for pregnant women/parents with small children, so I basically just say to the person occupying it “You’re in my seat”.

They don’t have to be nice or offer, it’s my right and I claim it.

 

[dulcissima]

That’s really unbelievable. If it happens again, don’t just stand around wishing someone would offer you a seat, ask them if they mind. Sometimes people are more clueless than rude, at least that is my hope!

Prayers for you though for a smooth delivery and a healthy happy baby some day very soon!

 

[Serap]

Probably these young women who’ve never been pregnant just don’t know what it feels like (which is understandable), and no one has taught them (which isn’t - standing up for pregnant women, people with small chilkdren and the elderly is part of normal upbringing and simple manners, but we’ve been lacking in those areas lately as it is).

In my country, public transportation has special seats for pregnant women/parents with small children, so I basically just say to the person occupying it “You’re in my seat”.

They don’t have to be nice or offer, it’s my right and I claim it.

You just gave me a good laugh Yes, we have priority seating. I guess I am too shy to ask, but not too shy to get angry and give my 2 cents to someone

I actually offered a toddler my seat on the bus today (on my way to the train) and the mother looked at me like I was crazy and thanked me, but said no. I guess she wished someone else had offered though.

 

[Serap]

That’s really unbelievable. If it happens again, don’t just stand around wishing someone would offer you a seat, ask them if they mind. Sometimes people are more clueless than rude, at least that is my hope!

Prayers for you though for a smooth delivery and a healthy happy baby some day very soon!

Thanks! I’m praying for an easy VBAC.

 

[Serap]

While someone should of given up their seat. Howabout driving where you go? Here in Grand Rapids Michigan theres not much of a public transit system and everyone drives where they go. One day I had to have a tooth pulled because it was abscessed and had me in severe pain. My car had broken down the day before and was in the shop being fixed. On the way to the dentist to get it pulled, I had to stand despite being in obvious pain and no one cared, and after the tooth being pulled in the office and being obviously “out of it” the bus went right on by the bus stop I was at. It was a 93 degree day and humid to addd insult to injury. I havent rode a city buss since that ordeal 12 years ago. It’s just easier to drive.

Parking is like $20 a day in my city…a bit more than I’d like to spend. Transit is also faster during rush hour. I live in a city with 4,000,000 people.

Sorry to hear about your experience!

 

[flyingfish]

Parking is like $20 a day in my city…a bit more than I’d like to spend. Transit is also faster during rush hour. I live in a city with 4,000,000 people.

Sorry to hear about your experience!

I think try finding a strong looking man and politely asking him if he would mind giving you his seat. It’s hard to imagine a man who wouldn’t stand for a pregnant woman.

Don’t get too upset at the people who don’t voluntarily stand up. Plenty of people are tired and have their issues, I think it’s too much to expect strangers to voluntarily sacrifice for you. But I think asking a man should work.

 

[Serap]

I think try finding a strong looking man and politely asking him if he would mind giving you his seat. It’s hard to imagine a man who wouldn’t stand for a pregnant woman.

Don’t get too upset at the people who don’t voluntarily stand up. Plenty of people are tired and have their issues, I think it’s too much to expect strangers to voluntarily sacrifice for you. But I think asking a man should work.

I voluntarily sacrifice for others without even thinking about it. I guess I was just raised differently.

 

[puzzleannie]

So today, for the upteenth time, I’m on the subway/underground train and people are sitting down in front of me while my huge belly is basically hitting them in the face. Frankly I’m getting tired of it!!! What’s wrong with people these days???

some things never change, I had the same complaint 38 years ago in Cleveland. The 2 buses and the rapid car on my route were always full by the time they got to my stop, so I stood the entire time, until the Friday before I gave birth. the #84 was the worst because it had a winding route with lots of turns, but the rapid was no picnic either with the lurching and bumping. On my last bus were mostly working men from the steel mills so their tiredness was understandable, but before that most riders were college students, oblivious to anyone else. On a positive note where DD lives – Chapel Hill NC – there are reserved parking spots for pregnant moms, a godsend when you also are draggin a toddler, and special seats reserved on her campus buses for handicapped and preggers, which made her life bearable her last semester.

 

[kage_ar]

Heck, I’ve stood all through Mass because no one would offer me a seat (not at my Parish or even in this part of the US) - I am very obviously handicapped and have trouble standing more than 5 minutes Seems there is are no “manners” in many places.

 

[Joan_M]

Heck, I’ve stood all through Mass because no one would offer me a seat (not at my Parish or even in this part of the US) - I am very obviously handicapped and have trouble standing more than 5 minutes Seems there is are no “manners” in many places.

Exactly! The whole thing is a lack of manners. There is an excuse when a woman is young and not obviously pregnant, but at 37 weeks, only a blind person would not notice!! I do not understand anyone leaving a heavily pregnant woman, an old person or any person, young or old, with any obvious disability, whether temporary or permanent to stand while they sit.

 

[djeter]

So today, for the upteenth time, I’m on the subway/underground train and people are sitting down in front of me while my huge belly is basically hitting them in the face. Frankly I’m getting tired of it!!! What’s wrong with people these days???

So this morning, I take a look at the people sitting around me and they are all young women in their early to mid twenties! I felt angry b/c there is no excuse for such rude and ignorant behaviour. If I were an elderly person with a cane, it wouldn’t have made a difference.

So finally at a transfer station, these young women all get up and I couldn’t help myself……I said, “I hope when you guys are 9 months pregnant, no one gives you a seat too!”

There were people standing beside me applauding me saying that they agreed with me. I felt a wee bit embarrassed that I let my anger slip out, but come on guys!!! Where’s the courtesy???

I always offer my seat to elderly, children under 5, disabled and pregnant women. I don’t understand why it is that about 70% of the time I go on the transit, people don’t offer a seat??? UUUUGGGGHHHHH!!! It’s so bad in my city that they actually had to pass a by-law that if you don’t give your seat to an elderly person, you can be fined!!!

Vent over…

Your attempt to find a Christian ethic on the subway is heroic but your anger leaves one mystified…

I feel your child will grow up in a world he or she will not understand locked in a prison of faith – much like yourself.

dj

 

[Brenda_V]

Your attempt to find a Christian ethic on the subway is heroic but your anger leaves one mystified…

I feel your child will grow up in a world he or she will not understand locked in a prison of faith – much like yourself.

dj

dj, I don’t think you understand that being polite is not a Christian ethic, it is a human ethic, it is about politeness. Yes, Christians should exhibit these behaviors more so than non-Christians but that does not excuse someone from seeing an obviously pregnant woman and not giving their seat up to her.

BTW, my faith is no prison!

Brenda V.