Not happy in Florida -- any advice? (little long, sorry)

[preety]

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[whatevergirl]

*I’m still feeling down. I guess it comes and goes. I don’t regret moving here, afterall, I do feel that God wanted us to come here. But, I think what it is …is not much of a change of seasons. It did get colder here a few months ago, for a few weeks…that was a nice change. I think the thing I miss about up north, is that there is a change somewhere. Halloween is marked with crisp fall leaves, you grab a sweater and walk around the neighborhoods listening to the rustling leaves, and wind…Thanksgiving and Christmas are marked with beautiful blankets of snow in the front yard, often times. Summer is distinct, and you can smell the freshly cut grass, and flowers that people are planting. There is no change here whatsoever. Sun and rain. Rain doesn’t cool anything off most of the time. I like the sun. I like the beach. But, not without a change.

I am not sure what to do. Hubby got home early last night, we went to the mall together. I do enjoy this mall a lot–it’s an outdoor mall and they made it to look like a village, very charming. He said…look at this weather…look at this mall…we can have this year round.

The weather isn’t enough for me. I prayed this morning for God to help me through this funk I’m in. I didn’t expect to feel this way – when we were planning our move we were so excited…all of us were. Now, after two years of being here, not so much. Going away for the weekend…graduation party and then Disney. We’ll see if that helps at all. I love my husband’s family, and we always have a good time. *

 

[rpp]

I have been following this thread but have decided not post until now. WG, I consider you a good friend. I would admit that, since I live in one of your “candidate” cities, I think it would be nice if you and your family moved nearby. But I honestly think that is me being a bit selfish.

I moved from St. Louis to the Portland Oregon area nearly 20 years ago. I have also helped my parents move from Alaska, my son move from St. Louis to here and then back again, as well as helping my second attempt at a wife move from New York to here. I also helped a friend move from Portland to Seattle. So I guess you could say that I have some experience at cross country moves.

As you are well aware, a cross-country move is very disruptive. All the more so when you have children. Friends are lost, everyone has to start from scratch with friends, parish, school, activities, the neighborhoods to live in, the one to avoid and the ones you cannot really afford. Heck, just finding a decent place to do your grocery shopping and finding your way around town takes a while. Not to mention your job(s).

I would urge you, as a family, to be very prayerful do your best to discern God’s will in this matter. While I would love to have you live near me and I would be happy, in my small way, to help you with a transition should you move here, I would not want to move unless you, as a family, have determined that it is indeed God’s will.

May God bless you and grant you the graces to determine His will for you in this matter.

 

[whatevergirl]

*Thanks rpp…that was very nice of you to post. I admit, I think I am ‘leaning on my own understanding of things, and not God’s.’ I find that I’m apologizing to God so much these days. I am not used to being in a state of mind like this, usually, if I’m down, I can snap out of it. I can always find the positive. I mean, there are many positives here, but perhaps, it’s the economy, and the harder market for insurance right now. It’s tough to get people to wish to meet with us, because so many execs fear change, or fear they won’t have a job next year. It’s something I not used to hearing. I am used to being relatively successful here, so perhaps, I’m attributing THAT to Florida. I will say this, I started my marketing to AZ and OR…and the people there seem to be quite happy.

My husband is very much into the idea of exploring AZ. He doesn’t seem so interested in OR. I don’t know why, he’s convinced it will be snowy and dreary like Pittsburgh. I should give you his number to sell him. But, AZ…I dunno, I have been doing some research, and I would never have considered this place, but wow, it looks like a really neat place to be. And nicer people from what I can tell from sales calling out there over the past few weeks.

I agree, this is a family decision. My sister told me that I shouldn’t even ‘think’ of uprooting the family again. That I need to get involved in the church and community like I did in PA, and I won’t feel this way. Maybe. I dunno. I fell in love pretty quickly when we moved from Orlando to Pittsburgh. There’s just something about Florida, that I don’t like…and I don’t think time will take care of it. It has become a melting pot of a lot transient people, and no sense of pride in community, like back in Pittsburgh. I do love our new parish though.

Had enough with my complaining? Everyone sick of hearing this now? :blush:

I must give this to God. I prayed the Rosary this morning, and asked Mary to pray for me with this, too. I asked God to just ‘pull me out of this state of mind.’ I am better today, but it comes and goes. I don’t feel like I can call this place home, and that is tough when your spouse can call it that.

Thanks for your post, rpp. You have been a great comfort, I consider you a friend, too. *

 

[GratefulDad]

Awwh WG, Keeping you and your family on my Rosary for First Friday and Mass at Lunch, will do the same for First Saturday Mass and Rosary tomorrow. “Holy Spirit lift our Sweet Sister in Christ, Whatevergirl and her Family up that they may do your will and what is pleasing to the Father.” "Help them to look with joy upon your creation, (even if their are only two Seasons - Green and Brown in Tampa)

Wish you and your family were near us too WG. One of the neighbors Grandparent past away and the funeral Mass was today. DW said it was a great tribute and testimony to someone in their 90’s.

As well (not to be sacrilegious), their is a lot of food and open wine from the post funeral gathering. DW informs me, she and the other Mom’s cannot possibly allow the food and especially the wine from God’s vineyards, go to waste, so it must be consumed this evening. Could you and DH swing by right after work.

 

[whatevergirl]

Awwh WG, Keeping you and your family on my Rosary for First Friday and Mass at Lunch, will do the same for First Saturday Mass and Rosary tomorrow. “Holy Spirit lift our Sweet Sister in Christ, Whatevergirl and her Family up that they may do your will and what is pleasing to the Father.” "Help them to look with joy upon your creation, (even if their are only two Seasons - Green and Brown in Tampa)

Wish you and your family were near us too WG. One of the neighbors Grandparent past away and the funeral Mass was today. DW said it was a great tribute and testimony to someone in their 90’s.

As well (not to be sacrilegious), their is a lot of food and open wine from the post funeral gathering. DW informs me, she and the other Mom’s cannot possibly allow the food and especially the wine from God’s vineyards, go to waste, so it must be consumed this evening. Could you and DH swing by right after work.

lol! Thanks for this, GD. Maybe we could buy an RV when the kids are out of school, and just travel the country…picking no special place to reside, we’ll be nomads.

 

[yellowbird]

I’m sorry you’re not loving Florida, but I totally agree with you. I moved there as a teenager & lived for 12 years… outside of Tampa, in Brandon. When my husband got transfered to Chicago I was so bummed … WHO leaves the sunshine and the palm trees for the freezing cold?? That was several years ago and I have to say, I would NEVER move back to Florida. I know just what you mean about the change of seasons… Halloween means hayrides, cider and crispy leaves… winter is sled riding and hot cocoa… spring is time to plant flowers and summer… wow… don’t even get me started about how beautiful summer is? Everything is so green and it smells like bar-b-que and mowed lawns. Plus I love it where everyone grows up together and knows each other… not too many transplants here. I can totally relate to what you believe are the differences between PA and Florida and I agree with you 100%. Plus, in Florida I was terrified of the high crime rate. Car jackings seemed to be a constant worry… no walking out of the mall at night alone… etc. I actually feel SAFER in Chicago… maybe that’s because I live in a distant suburb and not in the city… ? Plus it’s soooooo Catholic here. Catholic grade schools and high schools in every single town. I say move back to PA. It’s what you knew and loved. So what about the weather… it isn’t that horrible. Nothing like Florida in mid July. Ugggg. Now THAT is torture. I actually think the heat makes people so crabby. I am a runner. I have run in 1/3 of the states in the US, always on the shoulder or along the yellow line and by FAR the least courtous drivers are in Florida. They honk at me, swear at me, flip me off and practically run me down. Every single time we vacation down there and I go for a run I come back thinking WHAT is with you people? It’s honestly ridiculous. Rude Rude Rude!

Uh-oh. Maybe this post isn’t what you need to hear? I guess all I’m saying is even if everyone else is thinking you are crazy for not wanting to live in “paradise” - I totally know how you feel. Your husband sounds like a sweetheart. If you want to move, pack up and move. I am so thankful we had the courage to leave the palm trees behind.

Praying God shows you the way…

 

[whatevergirl]

*Someone understands me.

The only thing I’ll disagree with is, we don’t live in the city, or near Tampa…we’re about 20 miles north of the city, and the crime rate is low here. But, I don’t ever go to the mall at night alone anymore. There are a lot of weird crimes here too, like husbands killing their wives…moms claiming their kids are ‘missing.’ Ugh. I know that crimes happen everywhere like that, but domestic ‘stuff’ seems to happen a lot in Florida. Not around where we have chosen to live…it’s very suburban, and we do like it a lot. We went to the mall tonight…wesley chapel, are you familiar? There are many places that we have had fun…but there seems to lack something. We have met many friendly people at our parish, but in the other two…people would hardly smile…it was definitely odd.

The one thing that stops me from continuing my rant, is that I know God moved us here. DH and I prayed a lot before this move, and we didn’t rush. From the time we made the decision to move and the actual putting the plans into motion, it took almost a year. And everything lined up. As thought God orchestrated every last detail.

The schools here have been good, I was surprised. But, I’m not thrilled with how the teachers seem to not trust their students. I can’t explain it, but there seems to be this strictness. I remember it when I did my senior yr in Boca.

But…I don’t think I could bring myself to asking hubby to move us back to Pittsburgh, and frankly, I’m not sure I want that. I prayed today a lot about this, and on the way home from work, I felt God say to me…“You should only need Me.” I felt badly hearing that. I replied in my mind, I do only need You, Lord. But, He said again…“Live your life like you only need Me. Geography is just geography.” I also counseled someone today who admits that he does not have God in his life, and he has been down about the economy, worried about not making enough sales. I listened, and told him to pray. He is a hard case though…many people where I work revolve their lives around money. I used to be that way, and it’s tough to be in that environment day in and day out.

I said to God one day…‘is this the ‘field’ you have sent me to?’ lol Sometimes, God gives us ‘missions’ that make no sense to us, but I think that it’s slowly starting to.

I do miss the things you mention though. Thanks for your thoughts. *

 

[JReducation]

I think one has to learn to live in FL. It’s not one of those places that you just grow into. I know that my family has lived there since 2002 and they are ready to move back home to VA. They have been unable to learn to live in FL.

What I mean by this is that FL is not a hospitable state, maybe in the northwestern part of the state, because it’s more southern. But the metropolitan areas such as Orland, Miami and Ft. Lauderdale are not “user friendly.” The school systems are inadequate. The services are half hazard and the taxes are outrageous. The number of transplants is greater than the number of natives.

It is this cultural divide among the transplants that probably causes a culture shock to many people who move from towns that have a sense of identity. The FL metro areas do not have that sense of identity. Even NYC, which is a multi-cultural metropolis has a strong sense of identity.

The best way for one to learn to live in a place like FL is to become involved in a small nucleus of people, such as the parish, the children’s school, a group such as a religious group or a civic group. These give you a sense of belonging to a community of people with whom you have something in common. But you can’t wait for them to invite you to join. In a place like FL, it’s not going to happen, because people come from so many places with so many different attitudes. For some people it’s an invasion of their privacy if they step outside of themselves to invite another person to join them in a group or project. People feel that to do so may offend the other person. They don’t reach out, not out of snobbishness, but because they feel it’s the polite thing not to do.

Also, many people who move to FL move there to get away from something: bad weather, high cost of living, crime, the empty nest and so forth. You don’t find too many transplants to FL who move there to make a new home for themselves. I believe that happens in smaller communities. Many people move to FL to relax, enjoy the weather, retire, or because there were good jobs before this economic crisis hit.

The best suggestion that I can offer is to do whatever is healthier for your family. If you have to stay in FL for a bit longer, try to find small groups that you can join. You can build a community around yourself. Sometimes, limiting your area of shopping helps. If you go to the same stores all the time, your chances are good that you will see the same people. This helps create a sense of familiarity.

As to people being rude, well that’s not something that you can fix. Yes, corporate Florida is not the most polite and genteel world. We can get around that by making it our ministry to teach others how to treat human beings by being a role model.

You and your family are in our prayers.

Fraternally,

JR

 

[Tietjen]

*Anyone else from the north, midwest, who have moved to Florida, and miss where you came from? *

I’m kind of the opposite. I grew up in Florida and absolutely loved it. Then, as an adult, I moved away and saw the rest of the world. I’m in my mid forties now and after seeing how the rest of the world lives I never went back to live there again. I married and raised 3 sons throughout the US and Europe and never once missed or considered ever putting roots down back in Florida. Since I was 18, I have only returned to the state twice; once for my Father’s funeral and once for my brother’s wedding. Nope, I completely understand how you feel and I am very content staying out of my birth state.

 

[whatevergirl]

*JR, your post is very interesting. Thanks for taking the time to say that.

Hubby and I talked tonight about all of this. He said that he thinks that when things don’t line up perfectly (for me) I tend to want to escape. I said what would I be escaping? He said, when your job was going great last year, you loved Florida, and now, the economy is making sales come a bit slower, you have to work harder, now you are not thrilled with our decision to come here. Hmmm. Maybe. Maybe those other issues were going on around me, but they didn’t mount up when other good things were happening. My employer relocated us here, paid for our move, gave me a great promotion, etc. HOWEVER, we did not move for that, actually.

Truthfully, my husband was growing weary of Pittsburgh’s weather. He really hates dreary, cloudy days and the cold. He liked getting together with old high school pals, and the sense of community, but he said that the harsh weather just made him feel older than he was. It does have a way of doing that, but we had friends, great neighbors (same neighbors for 10 yrs that we could depend on), a great parish life, etc…but he was not altogether happy when those hard winter months hit. And it would be June sometimes, and we’d have the heat on in the car. People can be negative up north, I see the elderly down here really thriving, people in their 70’s and even 80’s exercising, etc…It was not uncommon to see the elderly cooped up for months because of the weather, up north.

So, the reason I say that God brought us here is that without my approaching my company, a regional person for Florida approached my boss and asked if I could take over the Florida region. (the irony is that this gentleman at the time hired me way back when) Ok…so, part of the deal, was I had to fly to Florida, and introduce my dept, etc to the florida group. This was back in 06. So, I did, with my boss, and we had thee best time when we came here. While I was in Florida, another regional person – the other regional person’s boss, came up to me and said…"a little birdie told me that you lived in Florida before, would you ever be interested in coming back?’ It honestly came out of the blue.

So, I flew back home and discussed it with my boss, my husband…etc…My husband LOVED the idea, he really likes it in Florida. He liked it when we lived in Orlando. So…we prayed about it, and everything fell into place. I even discussed this with a nun and she said when you have a sense of peace about something, that is God’s will for you. And we did have that peace. So, it took about a year and a half to finally move here.

We rented a house, that went into foreclosure. We really liked that house. We thought of buying it. Then, we moved into a townhome, we are still renting, as I’m hesitant to buy with the housing crisis here. We really love the area we have chosen. It does have an up north look to it. I like palm trees, but I like lakes and forests more. It has all of that. It’s somewhat rural, yet is only minutes from nightlife, movies, malls.

We found a nice parish. I will admit, where I work is not for the faint of heart. I have been successful, and this year, I’m not having that kind of success. No one is really, but I start to lose perspective, I guess. So, that in a nutshell is the story of why I feel this is God’s will.

I must confess something. I have been invited numerous times to join this BIble group at work. And I don’t know what it us, but I always have an excuse for why I’m not able to attend. That shows people reaching out to me, and for some reason, I am skittish. I’m the only Catholic in the group, but it’s not that. Over time, I have seen backstabbing, etc…and I didn’t see this when I first came. Plus, the regional guy that hired me and put all of this into motion, resigned three weeks after I moved here! That was disappointing. He was a great mentor.

But, my husband said that he doesn’t mind moving, but let’s settle here until the kids finish school. He said in the meantime, trust in God that He knows better than you why He moved us here. My husband got an awesome job at Disney, I should share that, too–although he works opposite hours from me, and a lot. So, we don’t see each other as much…My sister thinks much of this, is due to that.

Ok, enough rambling. I just wanted to share how the move came about.

My dh told me to make an appt with our parish priest, to see what his insights are. *

 

[JReducation]

*JR, your post is very interesting. Thanks for taking the time to say that.

Hubby and I talked tonight about all of this. He said that he thinks that when things don’t line up perfectly (for me) I tend to want to escape. I said what would I be escaping? He said, when your job was going great last year, you loved Florida, and now, the economy is making sales come a bit slower, you have to work harder, now you are not thrilled with our decision to come here. Hmmm. Maybe. Maybe those other issues were going on around me, but they didn’t mount up when other good things were happening. My employer relocated us here, paid for our move, gave me a great promotion, etc. HOWEVER, we did not move for that, actually.

Truthfully, my husband was growing weary of Pittsburgh’s weather. He really hates dreary, cloudy days and the cold. He liked getting together with old high school pals, and the sense of community, but he said that the harsh weather just made him feel older than he was. It does have a way of doing that, but we had friends, great neighbors (same neighbors for 10 yrs that we could depend on), a great parish life, etc…but he was not altogether happy when those hard winter months hit. And it would be June sometimes, and we’d have the heat on in the car. People can be negative up north, I see the elderly down here really thriving, people in their 70’s and even 80’s exercising, etc…It was not uncommon to see the elderly cooped up for months because of the weather, up north.

So, the reason I say that God brought us here is that without my approaching my company, a regional person for Florida approached my boss and asked if I could take over the Florida region. (the irony is that this gentleman at the time hired me way back when) Ok…so, part of the deal, was I had to fly to Florida, and introduce my dept, etc to the florida group. This was back in 06. So, I did, with my boss, and we had thee best time when we came here. While I was in Florida, another regional person – the other regional person’s boss, came up to me and said…"a little birdie told me that you lived in Florida before, would you ever be interested in coming back?’ It honestly came out of the blue.

So, I flew back home and discussed it with my boss, my husband…etc…My husband LOVED the idea, he really likes it in Florida. He liked it when we lived in Orlando. So…we prayed about it, and everything fell into place. I even discussed this with a nun and she said when you have a sense of peace about something, that is God’s will for you. And we did have that peace. So, it took about a year and a half to finally move here.

We rented a house, that went into foreclosure. We really liked that house. We thought of buying it. Then, we moved into a townhome, we are still renting, as I’m hesitant to buy with the housing crisis here. We really love the area we have chosen. It does have an up north look to it. I like palm trees, but I like lakes and forests more. It has all of that. It’s somewhat rural, yet is only minutes from nightlife, movies, malls.

We found a nice parish. I will admit, where I work is not for the faint of heart. I have been successful, and this year, I’m not having that kind of success. No one is really, but I start to lose perspective, I guess. So, that in a nutshell is the story of why I feel this is God’s will.

I must confess something. I have been invited numerous times to join this BIble group at work. And I don’t know what it us, but I always have an excuse for why I’m not able to attend. That shows people reaching out to me, and for some reason, I am skittish. I’m the only Catholic in the group, but it’s not that. Over time, I have seen backstabbing, etc…and I didn’t see this when I first came. Plus, the regional guy that hired me and put all of this into motion, resigned three weeks after I moved here! That was disappointing. He was a great mentor.

But, my husband said that he doesn’t mind moving, but let’s settle here until the kids finish school. He said in the meantime, trust in God that He knows better than you why He moved us here. My husband got an awesome job at Disney, I should share that, too–although he works opposite hours from me, and a lot. So, we don’t see each other as much…My sister thinks much of this, is due to that.

Ok, enough rambling. I just wanted to share how the move came about.

My dh told me to make an appt with our parish priest, to see what his insights are. *

I don’t know your age or the age of your kids, but you may want to ask your parish priest about getting involved in ministry. This helps you become closer to other people who have something in common with you.

Fraternally,

JR

 

[PaulinVA]

Whatevergirl - I grew up in Florida - my dad worked at the space center. Haven’t lived there since, well, 20 years ago.

It is the ‘home’ I go back to, so I have a love for Florida. I met my wife at UF. I was married a little north of Tampa, actually. But, I wouldn’t want to live there anymore. My siblings and dad still live there, and the visits are fun. I don’t think I could live full time in a place that “formal attire” means “wear socks”.

That said, does where you live actually make a difference? It’s just the backdrop for the life that you put together. Certain activities are more popular in one place or another, but what you do with it is really what’s important. If you aren’t living where you grew up, and everything is familiar, everyplace else sorta has the same unfamiliarness, you know? Wnd places do change - the Florida I grew up in pretty much gone.

I admire people who pull up stakes and move to a whole different environment. But, if you want to do it more than once or twice, I wonder if you just have a need to change the surroundings periodically? Not a dig, but that might be something to think about.

I am sorry that you are not happy. That is a tough thing to deal with.

 

[GratefulDad]

I must confess something. I have been invited numerous times to join this Bible group at work. And I don’t know what it us, but I always have an excuse for why I’m not able to attend. That shows people reaching out to me, and for some reason, I am skittish. I’m the only Catholic in the group, but it’s not that. Over time, I have seen backstabbing, etc…and I didn’t see this when I first came. Plus, the regional guy that hired me and put all of this into motion, resigned three weeks after I moved here! That was disappointing. He was a great mentor.

Ok, enough rambling. I just wanted to share how the move came about.

My dh told me to make an appt with our parish priest, to see what his insights are. *

Whatevergirl, that might be a very good idea to be involved in a Bible Study at work or the Parish. Nothing is more contagious than kindness or Holiness. And you have a lot of both. That may help melt away some of the backstapping.

 

[JReducation]

Whatevergirl, that might be a very good idea to be involved in a Bible Study at work or the Parish. Nothing is more contagious than kindness or Holiness. And you have a lot of both. That may help melt away some of the backstapping.

As long as the Bible Study Group at work is truly ecumenical, where no one is trying to convert another, but simply sharing their insights and praying together, there is room for building community at work and lasting friendships too.

Fraternally,

JR

 

[whatevergirl]

*Paul–I really like your points above. We had a really great weekend, and truly, I’m starting to wonder if it’s because my husband is not around as much as he was in Pittsburgh. He just has a different schedule than he did (work) and he took this whole weekend off to be with us, and we went out of town for the weekend, and had a great time. It restored my hope in Florida, let’s say that. So, maybe I’m misplacing what is really ailing me onto other things. Now, Florida is definitely lacking in the things that I’ve named, but no place is perfect. Pittsburgh was far from paradise. I would say that we chose to move here for a variety of reasons, the main one being God’s will for us. Maybe we won’t be here forever, but for now, we are going to make the best of things.

I appreciate your sentiments JR and GD. And everyone else. I can’t say I won’t have more blue days, but venting here helped me a lot. Thanks everyone, please keep my familly and me in your prayers. *

 

[sj2]

I can’t believe this thread is here.

My DH’s company just told him to move to FL (they are sending him to Tampa or Miami). I do NOT want to go. The whole situation is extremely upsetting. I’ve moved many, MANY times, so I am not fearful of change or attached to my homestate. I just know FL isn’t the place for me. Like others have said, I do not enjoy the beach whatsoever (very pale skin, plus I find the heat just plain miserable to be in), I’ve always tried to live next to lots of trees and forests, and I really love my small-ish type of cities.

I have been online researching like mad trying to find comfort and solace. I’m usually the type of person that just goes with the flow, because I trust God is leading me, but man, I just can’t seem to shake this feeling. (It doesn’t help that I’m nearing the end of a pregnancy and I know that I might be staring down the barrel of post-partum depression with a DH away in FL)

The company is basically saying move or commit career suicide. So we aren’t left with many options; DH is going. The FL people don’t seem to understand our concerns, they keep trying to “sell” him by saying, “This will be a more permanent job position, you’ll love it for years and years and raise your kids here.” Exactly what I don’t want to hear. But they really love FL and think they are giving him a huge gift by forcing this move.

We live about 9 hours away from Tampa right now and I am really considering staying and seperating the family. But then I think, “God couldn’t possibly want that?” But I guess I am just hoping that there will be some miraculous job transfer in a year or two and we can meet up again. Let’s face it, I’ll probably stay behind to sell our current house for at least a year anyways, considering the slow market. But how long can I survive by myself with 4 little ones and no husband? (No nearby family, because we move alot, but I do have an AMAZING church family) But then again, Tampa is even further away from family, obviously no friends yet, and I can’t exactly easily jump on a plane to visit people with 4 kids in carseats (not to mention the cost).

Sorry for the length, but that was really cathartic. I just really appreciate hearing your thoughts WhateverGirl. I can’t decide if I’m just being negative, or if there are some people just not suited to some places. Sounds like you are wondering something similar.

 

[Em_in_FL]

I can’t believe this thread is here.

My DH’s company just told him to move to FL (they are sending him to Tampa or Miami). I do NOT want to go. The whole situation is extremely upsetting. I’ve moved many, MANY times, so I am not fearful of change or attached to my homestate. I just know FL isn’t the place for me. Like others have said, I do not enjoy the beach whatsoever (very pale skin, plus I find the heat just plain miserable to be in), I’ve always tried to live next to lots of trees and forests, and I really love my small-ish type of cities.

I have been online researching like mad trying to find comfort and solace. I’m usually the type of person that just goes with the flow, because I trust God is leading me, but man, I just can’t seem to shake this feeling. (It doesn’t help that I’m nearing the end of a pregnancy and I know that I might be staring down the barrel of post-partum depression with a DH away in FL)

The company is basically saying move or commit career suicide. So we aren’t left with many options; DH is going. The FL people don’t seem to understand our concerns, they keep trying to “sell” him by saying, “This will be a more permanent job position, you’ll love it for years and years and raise your kids here.” Exactly what I don’t want to hear. But they really love FL and think they are giving him a huge gift by forcing this move.

We live about 9 hours away from Tampa right now and I am really considering staying and seperating the family. But then I think, “God couldn’t possibly want that?” But I guess I am just hoping that there will be some miraculous job transfer in a year or two and we can meet up again. Let’s face it, I’ll probably stay behind to sell our current house for at least a year anyways, considering the slow market. But how long can I survive by myself with 4 little ones and no husband? (No nearby family, because we move alot, but I do have an AMAZING church family) But then again, Tampa is even further away from family, obviously no friends yet, and I can’t exactly easily jump on a plane to visit people with 4 kids in carseats (not to mention the cost).

Sorry for the length, but that was really cathartic. I just really appreciate hearing your thoughts WhateverGirl. I can’t decide if I’m just being negative, or if there are some people just not suited to some places. Sounds like you are wondering something similar.

I’m sorry you’re moving into a situation that is stressful for you.
But I just want to reassure you… there are many fair-skinned, tree-loving, small towns in FL… so don’t be scared off yet. You’ll be in my prayers that you find the perfect community for your family - so that your transition is at least peaceful. (((HUGS)))

 

[whatevergirl]

*Hi sj! I am sorry that you are faced with something that isn’t really an option. For dh and me, we made the decision, I could have said no, I suppose. But through prayer, God wanted us to move here. I do have family here, spread out throughout Florida. It helps. I think that sometimes God takes us out of our comfort zones for reasons. It is nice when the reason comes clear. I love nature also, and we moved about 15 miles north of tampa…there are pretty lakes, and forests believe it or not. lol There is more than palm trees in FL! I think that staying apart from your dh would not be a good idea. Your dh has to have you nearby…he will be starting something new here, and needs you. I have enjoyed Florida, but have also missed PA. I look back though, and needed a change from PA, too. My job was stagnant, so was dh’s…our neighborhood was great and so was our parish…but every place has its drawbacks and positives. In PA, the weather was just horrible, and it really took a toll after a while…

I think that once you acclimate here, maybe take some time to look into joining a ‘new to the area’ mom’s group. I joined a women’s group when we moved here, and it was great, but then I changed parishes and now, I’m thinking of starting one up. I have been praying about that. The difference between your situation and mine, is that yours is sort of thrust upon you–where in my case, my dh and I made the decision together. And we waited a while before moving. I can imagine that this isn’t the greatest thing in your mind right now, but if it means your dh’s career being more stable, then you have to take the risk right now. If you hate hate hate it after a year or so, then move. Nothing is etched in stone. But, give things a chance, you may be pleasantly surprised. My dh and I hung out with his family over the weekend, and I will be going to visit my sister soon in a few weeks…so, maybe I closed my mind too soon. I had a blast this weekend, and really, if this is God’s will…I MUST find His purpose for me, here. Things just worked out too perfectly, before our move, for me to not think this was God’s will.

But, whatever you choose, I wouldn’t live separately from your dh. I think that will create undue stress in your marriage. I will hold you in my prayers. :hug1: *

 

[sj2]

Thanks for your ideas.

I would move to Jacksonville in a heartbeat, because it would only be 6 hours away from 2 family members, affordable Catholic schools, & an atmosphere I’m comfortable with, but it isn’t an option.

Eh, sorry, this isn’t my thread, I was just so floored to see it! I’m glad you’ve found a renewed sense of fortitude and confidence. I liked what you said about God sending us on “missions” that make no sense to us. That should help me keep things in perspective, whether the kids and I rush to follow DH or hang back and wait it out for a year.