Not sure about confirmation...

[HalfAngel_18]

I’ve been ‘preparing’ for confirmation for about 3 years now, I’ve gone through all the classes and have all the requirments but the actual confirmation was postponed because of family issues. The rescheduled date is creeping up on me and I’m having a lot of confusion with the Catholic faith. (I was confused before too and was actually relieved to have the date rescheduled so I could do another year of figuring things out.) I haven’t advanced too much, only figured out things I didn’t know before such as transabstantiation, and I’ve only come up with more doubts and questions and not very many satisfying answers. There are so many things about the Catholic faith that people don’t like or disagree with, like praying to Mary and the saints, communion is a big one, the priests clothing, having the crucifix in the center or front of the church, our whole kneeling and sitting and standing, having memorized prayers instead of a personal relationship with God…just a whole list and I keep hearing about how everything is so ‘unbiblical’ when it comes to the Catholic faith…I’ve read about most of these things, so I’ve heard both sides of them, however I’m still confused on whose more right, I would think since the Catholic church was the first chruch that we’d be right, but there’s still all the doubts, and I hate myself for them too. I have a high obligation upon me to go through with confirmation and people have made rather large arrangements to be there for it. I was so sure of myself 3 years ago, but then, I didn’t know how many branches of the Christain faith there were so I had no doubts in my mind to do this. So, my main question is, should I go through with confirmation while I’m still so confused about the faith?

 

[Kayleigh]

I would say… no

You must be able to say a profession of faith and answer to all of the baptism renewal promises, and actually believe in what you are answering to.

If you aren’t ready, you just aren’t ready.



I know that I am not helping much.

 

[Cristiano]

I think that you have an obligation to bring it up with your priest. I am sorry to say so, but I think that between parents, the catechism teachers, and yourself someone or more than one did a poor job during these years. Now it is up to him to make sure that you are on the right path.

Transubstantiation is taught in preparation to first communion, I am not blaming you for not knowing, but someone lost you along the way. Some things are just details, while other are critical aspects of our faith that must be known, possibly understood, and for sure accepted.

At one point you have to take a leap of faith, you will never be sure of everything. You have some obligation toward the people that made plans but above all you owe honesty to God. If you are not ready do not lie to God just to make someone happy.

Again, it is natural to be confused! Go and talk to your priest ASAP and simply tell him what you are going through.

 

[Gem]

If you don’t believe in the Church, then you shouldn’t say that you do. HOWEVER… the doubts you mention are standard arguments and claims made by people who do not understand the faith that Jesus gave the apostles.

You say you’ve done some reading of both sides, but I think you need to do a little more research on this website and reading from Catholic sources. Most accusations against the Catholic Church, however sincere and well-meaning, are based on half-truths or misconceptions. ALL the things you mentioned can be answered by searching the postings on this site. You are not the first to doubt. Even saints have doubted at times. What is important is to persevere and actively seek the truth. But I assure you, all your concerns can be answered.

I recommend that you read Surprised by Truth by Patrick Madrid which is a collection of conversion stories. Many smart people have been extremely anti-Catholic and yet eventually saw the truth that the Church possesses.

Also Four Witnesses by Rod Bennett. You need to read about the early church (these ancient documents exist for all the read) and see the fact that it was and has remained Catholic.

But in the end, you will not have a perfect knowledge and comprehension of all things. Some things will remain mysteries which we must accept on faith, but you need to get the point where you trust the Church, as the Body of Christ on earth with Jesus as its head so that you can rely on God through the Catholic Church for those things you do not understand.

Remember that the Spirit is with you in your search. Seek Him out. Ask to be guided to the Truth. And I will pray for you.

Gem

 

[HalfAngel_18]

I think that you have an obligation to bring it up with your priest. I am sorry to say so, but I think that between parents, the catechism teachers, and yourself someone or more than one did a poor job during these years. Now it is up to him to make sure that you are on the right path.

Transubstantiation is taught in preparation to first communion, I am not blaming you for not knowing, but someone lost you along the way. Some things are just details, while other are critical aspects of our faith that must be known, possibly understood, and for sure accepted.

At one point you have to take a leap of faith, you will never be sure of everything. You have some obligation toward the people that made plans but above all you owe honesty to God. If you are not ready do not lie to God just to make someone happy.

Again, it is natural to be confused! Go and talk to your priest ASAP and simply tell him what you are going through.

I’d very much like to talk to my priest but he has a really heavy accent and is really hard to understand…I don’t know how much help I could really get for him if I can’t understand what he’s saying.

Thank you for answering my question.

 

[HalfAngel_18]

If you don’t believe in the Church, then you shouldn’t say that you do. HOWEVER… the doubts you mention are standard arguments and claims made by people who do not understand the faith that Jesus gave the apostles.

You say you’ve done some reading of both sides, but I think you need to do a little more research on this website and reading from Catholic sources. Most accusations against the Catholic Church, however sincere and well-meaning, are based on half-truths or misconceptions. ALL the things you mentioned can be answered by searching the postings on this site. You are not the first to doubt. Even saints have doubted at times. What is important is to persevere and actively seek the truth. But I assure you, all your concerns can be answered.

I recommend that you read Surprised by Truth by Patrick Madrid which is a collection of conversion stories. Many smart people have been extremely anti-Catholic and yet eventually saw the truth that the Church possesses.

Also Four Witnesses by Rod Bennett. You need to read about the early church (these ancient documents exist for all the read) and see the fact that it was and has remained Catholic.

But in the end, you will not have a perfect knowledge and comprehension of all things. Some things will remain mysteries which we must accept on faith, but you need to get the point where you trust the Church, as the Body of Christ on earth with Jesus as its head so that you can rely on God through the Catholic Church for those things you do not understand.

Remember that the Spirit is with you in your search. Seek Him out. Ask to be guided to the Truth. And I will pray for you.

Gem

Thank you so much, I will look into those books.

 

[Cristiano]

I’d very much like to talk to my priest but he has a really heavy accent and is really hard to understand…I don’t know how much help I could really get for him if I can’t understand what he’s saying.

Thank you for answering my question.

Go and find another priest to talk to.

 

[OHCA_XP]

I appreciate your sincerity in wanting to receive the Sacrament of Confirmation with an earnest heart.

As I posted in my other thread…hehe…although not too many people responded, I’ll be giving a talk during a Confirmation retreat. One of the parents, a good friend of mine, asked me if I was going to convince the children to get Confirmed. I responded that I would not. Confirmation is a bond between you and God and should never be taken lightly. Also know that nothing you do on your own will perfect your resolve to become Confirmed. It is only through God’s grace that our inadequacies towards our faith can be made perfect.

I encourage you to pray hard. Know that Confirmation leads to that perfect relationship with God. Remember that you can’t know or understand everything about the faith. Trust in God and He will lead you in the right direction

 

[HalfAngel_18]

Go and find another priest to talk to.

Alright. I’ll try to arrange that. Thanks a lot. ^-^

 

[Jimdandy]

I was cofirmed when I was 13 and it wasn’t until 30+ years later that I really understood what this means, and therefore was able to fully benefit from the sacrament.

Pray directly to the Holy Spirit and He will lead you

 

[thomasf]

Here’s my advice, and it’s not going to be popular. Do it now, ask questions later. If you get confirmed and then decide to leave the church you always can. If you leave now and come back you’ll have to go through it anyway. I had my doubts and went through with it for my mother’s sake, and I was glad I didn’t have to go through it again when I came back to the church.

That being said, you should spend some time reading and researching the catholic faith. Learn the faith and you will learn the answers to the questions and accusations you get from protestants about the catholic faith, and will learn to defend it. If you do that, you’ll find your own questions will disappear and you will be more sure of your decision.

 

[HalfAngel_18]

Go and find another priest to talk to.

Here’s my advice, and it’s not going to be popular. Do it now, ask questions later. If you get confirmed and then decide to leave the church you always can. If you leave now and come back you’ll have to go through it anyway. I had my doubts and went through with it for my mother’s sake, and I was glad I didn’t have to go through it again when I came back to the church.

That being said, you should spend some time reading and researching the catholic faith. Learn the faith and you will learn the answers to the questions and accusations you get from protestants about the catholic faith, and will learn to defend it. If you do that, you’ll find your own questions will disappear and you will be more sure of your decision.

That’s basically what my mom has been saying, but I didn’t know if that would be right or not. I needed an outside/educated opinion. (lol not to imply that my parents aren’t educated, but they don’t study the faith or anything.)

 

[OHCA_XP]

Here’s my advice, and it’s not going to be popular. Do it now, ask questions later. If you get confirmed and then decide to leave the church you always can. If you leave now and come back you’ll have to go through it anyway. I had my doubts and went through with it for my mother’s sake, and I was glad I didn’t have to go through it again when I came back to the church.

That being said, you should spend some time reading and researching the catholic faith. Learn the faith and you will learn the answers to the questions and accusations you get from protestants about the catholic faith, and will learn to defend it. If you do that, you’ll find your own questions will disappear and you will be more sure of your decision.

Just to clarify, you’re not suggesting a person receive this Sacrament out of convenience right?

People will have their reservations, but you also have to have the full intention of carrying out what our faith entails. Nobody should receive any Sacrament or do anything regarding our faith just to check a box IMO. If you go through the motions, do it with the purpose intended.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

I’ve been ‘preparing’ for confirmation for about 3 years now, I’ve gone through all the classes and have all the requirments but the actual confirmation was postponed because of family issues. The rescheduled date is creeping up on me and I’m having a lot of confusion with the Catholic faith. (I was confused before too and was actually relieved to have the date rescheduled so I could do another year of figuring things out.) I haven’t advanced too much, only figured out things I didn’t know before such as transabstantiation, and I’ve only come up with more doubts and questions and not very many satisfying answers. There are so many things about the Catholic faith that people don’t like or disagree with, like praying to Mary and the saints, communion is a big one, the priests clothing, having the crucifix in the center or front of the church, our whole kneeling and sitting and standing, having memorized prayers instead of a personal relationship with God…just a whole list and I keep hearing about how everything is so ‘unbiblical’ when it comes to the Catholic faith…I’ve read about most of these things, so I’ve heard both sides of them, however I’m still confused on whose more right, I would think since the Catholic church was the first chruch that we’d be right, but there’s still all the doubts, and I hate myself for them too. I have a high obligation upon me to go through with confirmation and people have made rather large arrangements to be there for it. I was so sure of myself 3 years ago, but then, I didn’t know how many branches of the Christain faith there were so I had no doubts in my mind to do this. So, my main question is, should I go through with confirmation while I’m still so confused about the faith?

"This caught my eye: “having memorized prayers instead of a personal relationship with God…” Everyone has to have a personal relationship with God, or everything else is meaningless.

You also said “There are so many things about the Catholic faith that people don’t like or disagree with.” People don’t like or disagree with lots of things every day, it our human nature. That does not mean that they reject them. If you don’t reject the Catholic Faith there is no reason not to receive Confirmation and be strengthened in the faith, so that you can continue to grow and understand with God’s Grace…

 

[thomasf]

Just to clarify, you’re not suggesting a person receive this Sacrament out of convenience right?

People will have their reservations, but you also have to have the full intention of carrying out what our faith entails. Nobody should receive any Sacrament or do anything regarding our faith just to check a box IMO. If you go through the motions, do it with the purpose intended.

No, but I am saying that as a teenager we often don’t know what we’re doing and why. And it’s part of the nature of a teen to question everything. What’s she is going through is natural. THat shouldn’t stand in her way of completing this sacrament. And if she does it will be beneficial to her in the end if she knows it or not.

I like to tell the story of how I was confirmed because mostly my mother made me. I didn’t intend to stay in the church after I was on my own. And I didn’t. But for the 17 years I was out of the church I felt a pull to the church and considered myself part of the catholic culture. Because I was confirmed, I believe that it put a mark on me and helped to pull me back to the church.

If the girl goes through with it, the hope is that will happen with her as well. At least from my point of view.

 

[thomasf]

That’s basically what my mom has been saying, but I didn’t know if that would be right or not. I needed an outside/educated opinion. (lol not to imply that my parents aren’t educated, but they don’t study the faith or anything.)

Actually, that’s not what you need. If you were a bit older and knew enough about your faith I wouldn’t disagree. But as an impressionable teen who is naturally looking to find her own way, and be a bit rebellious, and ready to listen to people who come along and tell you different, that’s dangerous. There are people looking to pull you in every direction, confuse you, and get you to throw away your faith. Whether they are atheists, or people of other denominations. Listening to them is not what you need. Learning about your faith and getting the answers to these questions is what you need. Because trust me, as someone who was there, the catholic church does have answers to these questions and challenges and the church is the one true faith. Take that as advice from someone who left the church and never wanted to come back. When I did come back I found all the answers I was looking for.

 

[OHCA_XP]

No, but I am saying that as a teenager we often don’t know what we’re doing and why. And it’s part of the nature of a teen to question everything. What’s she is going through is natural. THat shouldn’t stand in her way of completing this sacrament. And if she does it will be beneficial to her in the end if she knows it or not.

I like to tell the story of how I was confirmed because mostly my mother made me. I didn’t intend to stay in the church after I was on my own. And I didn’t. But for the 17 years I was out of the church I felt a pull to the church and considered myself part of the catholic culture. Because I was confirmed, I believe that it put a mark on me and helped to pull me back to the church.

If the girl goes through with it, the hope is that will happen with her as well. At least from my point of view.

I can understand what you mean, hence why I asked for the clarification. I know what you mean, because I went through Confirmation not really knowing what it was. But knowing what I know now, I regret taking it so lightly. That said, I’m not saying to strive for perfect knowledge prior to Confirmation, but submission, to trust, which I think is what you’re saying also.

 

[JCismywingman]

personally, i’d say if you believe in the Church but are confused by the finer details, go for it! Get confirmed, you can continue faith formation classes even after confirmation.

for many of us who were craddle catholics and went through the sacrements early, we’re still learning new things about the faith all the time!

i didn’t get confirmed with my peers (at 15) due to some reasons and only got confirmed later at 18. it was partly cos my granny ‘pressured’ me into going and well, eventually on confirmation day, God touched me and i did want to do it though i felt i could have prepared for it a whole lot better.

i’m not saying you should do it for the sake of your mom, but maybe your mom is God’s way of leading you to Him?

 

[jmcrae]

There are so many things about the Catholic faith that people don’t like or disagree with, like praying to Mary and the saints, communion is a big one, the priests clothing, having the crucifix in the center or front of the church, our whole kneeling and sitting and standing, having memorized prayers instead of a personal relationship with God…just a whole list and I keep hearing about how everything is so ‘unbiblical’ when it comes to the Catholic faith…I’ve read about most of these things, so I’ve heard both sides of them, however I’m still confused on whose more right, I would think since the Catholic church was the first chruch that we’d be right, but there’s still all the doubts, and I hate myself for them too.

Learn about the Catholic Church from the Catholic point of view. Come to Mass every Sunday and participate in the life of your parish - join the Youth Group if there is one, and get involved in a ministry to the poor - pack hampers for the Society of St. Vincent de Paul, or make sandwiches for the homeless shelter, etc., and by working with them and beside them, get to know your fellow Catholics. And quit hanging around with people who think there’s something wrong with Mary, or that memorizing your prayers means that you don’t have a personal relationship with Jesus. (How could memorizing your prayers hurt your relationship with Jesus? )

I have a high obligation upon me to go through with confirmation and people have made rather large arrangements to be there for it. I was so sure of myself 3 years ago, but then, I didn’t know how many branches of the Christain faith there were so I had no doubts in my mind to do this. So, my main question is, should I go through with confirmation while I’m still so confused about the faith?

Keep in mind that you are not deciding whether or not to become Catholic, here. You already are a Catholic, and you will be forever, no matter what happens - that happened when you were baptized.

The choice that lies before you now is whether to be a good Catholic, or a bad Catholic. I hope that you will choose to be a good Catholic.

 

[HalfAngel_18]

"This caught my eye: “having memorized prayers instead of a personal relationship with God…” Everyone has to have a personal relationship with God, or everything else is meaningless.

You also said “There are so many things about the Catholic faith that people don’t like or disagree with.” People don’t like or disagree with lots of things every day, it our human nature. That does not mean that they reject them. If you don’t reject the Catholic Faith there is no reason not to receive Confirmation and be strengthened in the faith, so that you can continue to grow and understand with God’s Grace…

You make a really good point there. Thank you.