Not sure I will ever get my definitive answer

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A definitive answer as to what sort of Christian I am. I 've done so much searching and digging on what sort of Christian I am. I’ve read books from both (there’s really more than two) sides of the coin, listened to numerous 2-3 hour long debates between scholars of both sides on youtube and remain somewhere between a Protestant and a Catholic. I think most Catholics would call this position Protestant lol. But I am pro-Catholic on some things, for sure. I am a mile away from Sola-scriptura, for example. And I love tradition. But it has been hard for me to grasp all of the rules and other bells and whistles of the Catholic faith and I have never felt even remotely comfortable even beginning to pray to Mary or any Saint for that matter (as a single example). I don’t think Ill ever get my answer in certain until I die. I do know, however, that I will die a Christian!

And I hope that the answer to the question “what sort of Christian am I?” is simply that I am a GOOD Christian. And that when, God willing, I am with you guys in Heaven, we will not be Protestants or Catholics, but brothers and sisters and loving children of God 👍
 
If you are not Catholic, then you are not Catholic. That makes you a Protestant, who may be discerning conversion to the Catholic Church. Keep searching for the truth and the Holy Spirit will lead you where you need to be. 😉
 
St Redemption,
Sometimes we walk by faith and not by sight.

Seek the fullness of the Truth.

a
 
Reading books and watching debates will only get you so far. Perhaps you are trying to rely on Reason alone rather than Faith and Reason. In his encyclical letter, Fides et ratio, Saint John Paul the Great wrote “Faith and reason are like two wings on which the human spirit rises to the contemplation of truth; and God has placed in the human heart a desire to know the truth—in a word, to know himself—so that, by knowing and loving God, men and women may also come to the fullness of truth about themselves (cf. Ex 33:18; Ps 27:8-9; 63:2-3; Jn 14:8; 1 Jn 3:2).”

I suggest that you spend time in prayer. Devote yourself to the Lord in the rosary or the Divine Office, or simply purchase a book of prayers with ecclesiastical approbation. Visit the Blessed Sacrament in Eucharistic Adoration. Follow your prayer routine daily, especially on waking and going to sleep. Soon you will begin to draw closer to the Lord. Do not give up your study, but balance it so that you may rise to the contemplation of truth!
 
I’ve read saints say that everyone is Catholic in Heaven. When you die, you will discover there is and only can be one true Church.
 
Please forgive me if I am misunderstanding what you are saying, but it seems to me you are saying, I am a certain type of Christian, and I am looking for a community which matches what I am.

Emmmm, that’s not really how it works. What we must search for is the truth, and once we find the truth, *we *conform ourselves to *it. *

Why I became/returned to the Catholic Church:
Once I considered myself a “mere Christian,” as CS Lewis put it. Baptized but not raised Catholic, I was very ignorant! I went to which ever church worked in terms of distance, etc, since I was going with two small children.

But after a while, it seemed like I hit a floor–that things should be getting deeper but weren’t. That was when I was guided to the Catholic Church, where I have found the answers to every question I had, and a “world” which is completely comprehensive and integrated.

That doesn’t mean I didn’t have difficulties along the way, but the difficulties were in my conforming myself to the truth. And that is hard! It is always hard to learn and internalize a truth we are unfamiliar with or even don’t like. But there it is: we can accept the truth or we can pretend it’s not there, but we can’t change it.

I too recommend that you stop thinking and start praying, asking God to show you where His Truth is.
 
I can recommend you make yourself aware of John Henry Newman’s journey from being “evangelical” in his teens. Ian Ker’s book of that name is chock full of quotations from the man.

Newman’s underlying reasoning I find very up-to-date (though personally I don’t know whether differences in ceremonial between one age and another or one denomination and another affect me as much as they would him or you).
 
A definitive answer as to what sort of Christian I am. I 've done so much searching and digging on what sort of Christian I am. I’ve read books from both (there’s really more than two) sides of the coin, listened to numerous 2-3 hour long debates between scholars of both sides on youtube and remain somewhere between a Protestant and a Catholic. I think most Catholics would call this position Protestant lol. But I am pro-Catholic on some things, for sure. I am a mile away from Sola-scriptura, for example. And I love tradition. But it has been hard for me to grasp all of the rules and other bells and whistles of the Catholic faith and I have never felt even remotely comfortable even beginning to pray to Mary or any Saint for that matter (as a single example). I don’t think Ill ever get my answer in certain until I die. I do know, however, that I will die a Christian!

And I hope that the answer to the question “what sort of Christian am I?” is simply that I am a GOOD Christian. And that when, God willing, I am with you guys in Heaven, we will not be Protestants or Catholics, but brothers and sisters and loving children of God 👍
Sounds like you could be Anglican or Episcopalian.
 
If you are not Catholic, then you are not Catholic. That makes you a Protestant, who may be discerning conversion to the Catholic Church. Keep searching for the truth and the Holy Spirit will lead you where you need to be. 😉
No, not necessarily. There are Christian denominations that do not consider themselves to be Catholic or Protestant–like the Mormons for instance–and there are also independent Christians, who pick and choose which teachings to believe.
 
The Saints were Catholic. They:
  • prayed to Our Lady
  • adored Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament
  • received the Eucharist with devotion
  • offered prayers for the souls in Purgatory
  • humbly submitted to the Pope and the Church’s teaching
  • went to Confession
Now ask yourself: were the Saints right or wrong? Are they not Saints? Has their sanctity and salvation not been demonstrated?

If you disagree with one of the above points, then you must be willing to concede the implications. If, for example, the Eucharist is not truly the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of Jesus, then the Saints were idolaters and therefore no Saints.

It is good that you are seeking the truth, but sometimes we must accept truths that we do not understand; sometimes we must simply ask God for the grace of the true Faith - a grace that precedes countless hours of spiritual reading and discernment.

Here is my suggestion, for what it’s worth: visit a Catholic Church while Adoration is taking place (it is easy enough to look up individual church’s times for Adoration). Kneel before the Blessed Sacrament with a conditional faith (i.e. “If this is you, Lord, I adore You.”), and ask God for the grace to know the true Faith. God cannot reject such a prayer if it be made with sincerity.

“Reflect on this. Every desire that a soul has ever had to possess Me is inspired by Me…”
  • Jesus to St. Mechtilde
Your life will never be the same once you acknowledge that Jesus is present in the Blessed Sacrament and in every Tabernacle of the world.

Since the Church was founded, there have been accounts of miracles during the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. St. Secondo (d. 119), for example, prior to death, received Communion from a dove. There are numerous, authentic accounts such as these, all of which are a confirmation of Church teaching. You can find the same for just about every doctrine and dogma of the Church - it is quite astounding!

“She [the Catholic Church] is by nature outstanding by reason of her faith, beautiful by reason of the seven sacraments, laudable by reason of her conduct and virtue, lovable by reason of her fruits, for she reveals the true way to eternity.”
  • Jesus to St. Bridget of Sweden (Bk 3, Ch 24)
God bless.
 
Have you explored any of the Eastern Catholic churches, as oppose to the Roman?

By family tradition I am Roman Catholic, but spiritually speaking, I tend to be more in line with Eastern Catholics or the Orthodox.

For me, Western Catholicism can get bogged down, really bogged down, in it’s desire to define everything, and break everything down.

Eastern Catholics tend to do that much less and focus more on living the Mystery of being a disciple, without a profound need to understand it and deliniate it.

Just a thought
 
A definitive answer as to what sort of Christian I am. I 've done so much searching and digging on what sort of Christian I am. I’ve read books from both (there’s really more than two) sides of the coin, listened to numerous 2-3 hour long debates between scholars of both sides on youtube and remain somewhere between a Protestant and a Catholic. I think most Catholics would call this position Protestant lol. But I am pro-Catholic on some things, for sure. I am a mile away from Sola-scriptura, for example. And I love tradition. But it has been hard for me to grasp all of the rules and other bells and whistles of the Catholic faith and I have never felt even remotely comfortable even beginning to pray to Mary or any Saint for that matter (as a single example). I don’t think Ill ever get my answer in certain until I die. I do know, however, that I will die a Christian!

And I hope that the answer to the question “what sort of Christian am I?” is simply that I am a GOOD Christian. And that when, God willing, I am with you guys in Heaven, we will not be Protestants or Catholics, but brothers and sisters and loving children of God 👍
If all you are going to look at his rules why bother having any? What is the point of following the law if you aren’t going to follow the lawgiver? You are talking about rules but do you live in an anarchist society? There are always going to be rules being Catholic is not that difficult. What is difficult is being a holy Catholic. And I for one try to do it I take advantage of things like confession sometimes I think a little too much but I’m glad to have it because I know I’ll slip up but I don’t go to confession because I broke a rule I go to confession because I don’t like offending my God. I don’t belong to the church because I fear hell I belong to the Church because I love Jesus.
 
If all you are going to look at his rules why bother having any? What is the point of following the law if you aren’t going to follow the lawgiver? You are talking about rules but do you live in an anarchist society? There are always going to be rules being Catholic is not that difficult. What is difficult is being a holy Catholic. And I for one try to do it I take advantage of things like confession sometimes I think a little too much but I’m glad to have it because I know I’ll slip up but I don’t go to confession because I broke a rule I go to confession because I don’t like offending my God. I don’t belong to the church because I fear hell I belong to the Church because I love Jesus.
I am not anti-rule. That would be absurd. Like if all of the sudden your community made a rule against drinking water after sundown (for no good reason), then I assume you would have a particular aversion to that specific rule, but would not necessarily adopt a generalized and globabal position of “anti-rule.”
 
Have you explored any of the Eastern Catholic churches, as oppose to the Roman?

By family tradition I am Roman Catholic, but spiritually speaking, I tend to be more in line with Eastern Catholics or the Orthodox.

For me, Western Catholicism can get bogged down, really bogged down, in it’s desire to define everything, and break everything down.

Eastern Catholics tend to do that much less and focus more on living the Mystery of being a disciple, without a profound need to understand it and deliniate it.

Just a thought
I haven’t. I was hoping I could narrow down my options to as few as possible lol. grrr
 
Please forgive me if I am misunderstanding what you are saying, but it seems to me you are saying, I am a certain type of Christian, and I am looking for a community which matches what I am.

Emmmm, that’s not really how it works. What we must search for is the truth, and once we find the truth, *we *conform ourselves to *it. *

Why I became/returned to the Catholic Church:
Once I considered myself a “mere Christian,” as CS Lewis put it. Baptized but not raised Catholic, I was very ignorant! I went to which ever church worked in terms of distance, etc, since I was going with two small children.

But after a while, it seemed like I hit a floor–that things should be getting deeper but weren’t. That was when I was guided to the Catholic Church, where I have found the answers to every question I had, and a “world” which is completely comprehensive and integrated.

That doesn’t mean I didn’t have difficulties along the way, but the difficulties were in my conforming myself to the truth. And that is hard! It is always hard to learn and internalize a truth we are unfamiliar with or even don’t like. But there it is: we can accept the truth or we can pretend it’s not there, but we can’t change it.

I too recommend that you stop thinking and start praying, asking God to show you where His Truth is.
No Im not trying to create truth. Im trying to find it.

I have prayed on it, but admittedly not a lot.
 
St. Redemption,
Ask a difficult question you are wrestling with. Or, make a clear statement of what you believe about one truth.

For example, “How do I know that the Catholic Church is the Church that Jesus founded?”

For example, “I really don’t sin. I’m a good person.”

These are example questions. I am not assuming they apply to you.

a
 
Sometimes answers take time. It took me several years to come into the Church. I found what Chesterton said to be true:

‘It is impossible to be just to the Catholic Church. The moment a man ceases to pull against it he feels a tug towards it. The moment he ceases to shout it down he begins to listen to it with pleasure. The moment he tries to be fair to it he begins to be fond of it.’
 
St. Redemption,
Ask a difficult question you are wrestling with. Or, make a clear statement of what you believe about one truth.

For example, “How do I know that the Catholic Church is the Church that Jesus founded?”

For example, “I really don’t sin. I’m a good person.”

These are example questions. I am not assuming they apply to you.

a
No I know how it works here, and I have asked individual questions on numerous occasions. I was just kind of in an offhanded way expressing that I don’t know if I will ever fully land on either side of the camp. I understand that there is no real answer to my original post. I was more or less just conversing.
 
As someone in the process of converting, my advice would be to start going to Mass regularly. And after you’ve been a couple of times, do some reading on the significance of the various parts of the Mass, and on the subject of the Real Presence. That should help everything to fall into place for you.
 
A definitive answer as to what sort of Christian I am. I 've done so much searching and digging on what sort of Christian I am. I’ve read books from both (there’s really more than two) sides of the coin, listened to numerous 2-3 hour long debates between scholars of both sides on youtube and remain somewhere between a Protestant and a Catholic. I think most Catholics would call this position Protestant lol. But I am pro-Catholic on some things, for sure. I am a mile away from Sola-scriptura, for example. And I love tradition. But it has been hard for me to grasp all of the rules and other bells and whistles of the Catholic faith and I have never felt even remotely comfortable even beginning to pray to Mary or any Saint for that matter (as a single example). I don’t think Ill ever get my answer in certain until I die. I do know, however, that I will die a Christian!

And I hope that the answer to the question “what sort of Christian am I?” is simply that I am a GOOD Christian. And that when, God willing, I am with you guys in Heaven, we will not be Protestants or Catholics, but brothers and sisters and loving children of God 👍
I recommend reading The Faith Explained by Leo Trese for a western elaboration of the Catholic faith. There are also some good sources of Byzantine Catholic faith; one series is Light for Life (three volumes: The Mystery Believed, The Mystery Celebrated, The Mystery Lived) - and God With Us Publications has them.
 
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