Not sure if I can do a task - lying?

[Kathrin]

This is not the first time I struggle with this problem, or something similar.

My uncle, for whom I work in the garden sometimes, has given me a task for next time. He asked if it was ok/understood? I said yes, already thinking it might be hard but not wanting to be a sissy again (he knows me as somebody who doesn’t trust in herself in these things sometimes, afraid of huritng herself etc… … I have had problems with one forearm/wrist, and now thinking about the task further I am afraid it might worsen it.

I will probably work on that tomorrow. Now if I can’t do everything, will I have lied? Do I have to call him today already and say I am not sure if I will be able to do it?
If I am concerned that he will get upset if I call him again doubting myself, is that pride on my side?
Should I just go ahead and try and see if I can do it?

Is this a moral question at all? Am I being overly scrupulous again?

Kathrin

 

[po18guy]

This is not the first time I struggle with this problem, or something similar.

My uncle, for whom I work in the garden sometimes, has given me a task for next time. He asked if it was ok/understood? I said yes, already thinking it might be hard but not wanting to be a sissy again (he knows me as somebody who doesn’t trust in herself in these things sometimes, afraid of huritng herself etc… … I have had problems with one forearm/wrist, and now thinking about the task further I am afraid it might worsen it.

I will probably work on that tomorrow. Now if I can’t do everything, will I have lied? Do I have to call him today already and say I am not sure if I will be able to do it?
If I am concerned that he will get upset if I call him again doubting myself, is that pride on my side?
Should I just go ahead and try and see if I can do it?

Is this a moral question at all? Am I being overly scrupulous again?

Kathrin

Is he aware of your physical limitations? Make him so. Then, assure him that you will try to complete the task. Then, as long as you actually do try in earnest, you will not have lied.

A little communication will go a long way here-the sooner, the better. You are increasing your anxiety as time passes, while he may be increasing his expectations. Thus, a train wreck is unwittingly planned.

Christ’s peace.

 

[Kathrin]

He knows, yeah.
Sometimes I think he thinks I am too afraid. That’s why I thought, better not mention it again until it really starts being a problem again…
well but I took your reply to heart and gave him a call. Just said I was going tomorrow, etc, and if it was ok if I just did the one part etc… no problem at all.


I didn’t make it sound like I just called because of that, but more generally… now that is almost lying too, isn’t it?
Hmmm… see , I am getting confused!!!

Kathrin

 

[daeve]

Kathrin, sweetie, you’re driving yourself crazy over nothing! If you said, “Sure, I’ll take care of that for you” when you know you have no intention of doing it – that would be lying. You’re going to try, you’re going to do what you can, and your uncle is fine with that.

Is this your job, or are you just going to help him out? Are you maybe a bit obsessive/compulsive? Really, you can relax about this. You’re not lying to your uncle. Deb

 

[1ke]

I will probably work on that tomorrow. Now if I can’t do everything, will I have lied?

You did not lie. He asked if you understood and you do understand. That is not the same as being unable to complete the task once you start it because you run into problems.

Do I have to call him today already and say I am not sure if I will be able to do it?

No

If I am concerned that he will get upset if I call him again doubting myself, is that pride on my side?

No. It is unreasonable on his part. He should not bully you this way. If you have physical difficulty doing a task, there is no shame in that. If you are timid about trying new things, there is no shame in that either.

Should I just go ahead and try and see if I can do it?

I think that is a good idea. But, if it seems to be too difficult or you have problems with your arm/wrist then you should stop. Don’t injure yourself over this, for heaven’s sake.

Am I being overly scrupulous again?

It seems that way to me.

 

[Kathrin]

Sorry guys:blush: Yep I guess that was scrupulosity talking.

Kathrin

 

[po18guy]

Sorry guys:blush: Yep I guess that was scrupulosity talking.

Kathrin

Just think about yourself in the context of the grandiosity of God’s mercy and grace. Some of the most content people on earth are those who have the simplest, purest thoughts. That, and reconcilliation!

Christ’s peace be with you.