Nursing Mothers

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My daughter is a nursing mother and wanted to know what people on the forum had to say about mothers nursing their babies at Mass. Since she is a nursing mother and has received negative comments.
 
I don’t know if she *really *wants to know what people here would say. I’m sure many people will be gracious, but many people will have some unpleasant things to say. I think the bottlefeeding as the norm mentality has sunk in, at least subconciously, even in the minds of many faithful Catholics. Therefore, when some people see nursing they are uncomfortable because they are simply not used to it. I sincerely do not believe it is a modesty issue, though, because who on earth gets “turned on” by seeing a baby breastfeed? The point of modesty is to help others keep their thoughts pure (I suppose as well as keeping your own thoughts pure).

I have nursed my baby in mass. Despite what I said above, I feel a whole lot more comfortable nursing my baby in a Catholic mass than a fundamentalist church service. It seems like far less Catholics have a problem with nursing than fundamentalist evangelicals.

If she wants to nurse in mass and “go the extra mile” to make sure others are not uncomfortable, she can nurse in a sling or under a blanket. Though, I don’t think she should have to and some babies won’t stand to be nursed under a blanket. I personally wear a discreet top for nursing.

Danielle
 
I nursed my daughter during mass quite often, and think that it is perfectly acceptable as long as you are not baring yourself to the word in the process (I had a friend who nursed like this- it didn’t embarass her, and she didn’t understand that it bothered other people). I love nursing shirts- check out www.motherwear.com . They are a little pricey, but I thought they were worth it. I would still use a receiving blanket to get us “set up”, then I would lower the blanket and use it more to wrap her with, but have it readily accessable in case she decided to pop off. I really liked that with the nursing clothes my stomach, side and back were not hanging out.

Tell your daughter to keep it up- it is best for her baby, and I think that those who may be put off by her nursing would be even more unhappy with a fussy, crying baby who is hungry!
 
It’s too bad people are making negative comments. That is utterly pathetic.

I’m all for it. I think nursing is a delightful sight. Much better than all the gabarge that surrounds us in our decadent society that thinks it’s a choice to kill babies.

I nursed 6 kids and always tried to be discreet, but I’m for it all the way. I love the lip smacking sound too!
 
i am definately not trying to critical or contreversial. i love nursing, i nursed both my daughters for as long as i could (12 months)…and for the most part, i would nurse in a quiet corner if i was somewhere in public. if i knew that i would not have the opportunity to go somewhere private or somewhat private, say for example, church or my other daughters’ class, i would always “top the baby off” so that she would not want to nurse and then we could catch up later where there was more privacy. i see nursing moms everywhere and think it is great…i miss it, especially since i know that we are finished having kids, so i think it is great but i do think that out in the open in church is inappropriate. it is only an hour, why do you have to nurse in church? i belong to a mom’s group at church and a special mass was being said for us so we all sat up front…about 3 of the moms were nursing their babies in the first pew during mass (weekday mass is only a half an hour!)…i felt so bad for the priest, he had his eyes closed during the conceration. sorry if my opinion offends, just thought i would share a different one.
 
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jeanine:
i am definately not trying to critical or contreversial. i love nursing, i nursed both my daughters for as long as i could (12 months)…and for the most part, i would nurse in a quiet corner if i was somewhere in public. if i knew that i would not have the opportunity to go somewhere private or somewhat private, say for example, church or my other daughters’ class, i would always “top the baby off” so that she would not want to nurse and then we could catch up later where there was more privacy. i see nursing moms everywhere and think it is great…i miss it, especially since i know that we are finished having kids, so i think it is great but i do think that out in the open in church is inappropriate. it is only an hour, why do you have to nurse in church? i belong to a mom’s group at church and a special mass was being said for us so we all sat up front…about 3 of the moms were nursing their babies in the first pew during mass (weekday mass is only a half an hour!)…i felt so bad for the priest, he had his eyes closed during the conceration. sorry if my opinion offends, just thought i would share a different one.
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I know you are not alone in your opinion… I’d really like to pick your brain so that I can understand, though. Most moms I know who nurse in public do so very discreetly. Sometimes you don’t even know they are nursing. I imagine any mom who would nurse in mass would do so discreetly. What exactly is the problem with nip? As I said in my previous post, the point of modesty is so that we don’t cause others or ourselves to stumble. I really don’t think nursing has ever had an untoward effect on anybody. Am I wrong? I just think people aren’t used to it because of the pervasiveness of bottlefeeding and confusion about female sexuality. But I think its a righteous behavior which if people get used to seeing won’t think twice about.

As far as the priest being embarrased… are you sure or were you projecting your own feelings on to him? I think this priest would have been happy to have nursing mothers in mass…

catholicmom.com/familychapel.htm

I’m really trying to understand where you are coming from. I just would like to understand what bad effect nursing in public has on others.
 
Some people are embarrassed at seeing breasts. It’s just a fact. Better not to have a ‘nurse-in’ in the front pews, I think. I never went for that ‘bare it all’ mentality. Discretion, ladies, discretion!

What’s really embarrassing is when you have a strong-willed, vocal, still nursing toddler yelling “nurse, nurse!!!” in church and trying to lift up your shirt. :o :o :o I tell you, my lil’ Alise was a barracuda… :rolleyes:
 
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Toni:
My daughter is a nursing mother and wanted to know what people on the forum had to say about mothers nursing their babies at Mass. Since she is a nursing mother and has received negative comments.
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A friend once had this motto on his wall

Count that Day Lost that You Don’t Catch H* for Something!**
 
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WhiteDove:
Some people are embarrassed at seeing breasts. It’s just a fact. Better not to have a ‘nurse-in’ in the front pews, I think. I never went for that ‘bare it all’ mentality. Discretion, ladies, discretion!

What’s really embarrassing is when you have a strong-willed, vocal, still nursing toddler yelling “nurse, nurse!!!” in church and trying to lift up your shirt. :o :o :o I tell you, my lil’ Alise was a barracuda… :rolleyes:
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But how many women actually show their breasts when nursing? I know there are a few indiscreet women. But really, you can nip without baring all… I think this is how most women do it. Most people who are offended at nip aren’t offended about seeing breasts, they’re offended to know that is going on.

I’m with you on the strong-willed nursing toddler! I was always glad that mine used the word “na”… I don’t think most people knew what he was saying. 🙂
 
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=2846&highlight=breast+feeding+mass

Long ugly thread on this already.

It is SO sad that anyone would have a problem with this, but some really do.

I have never seen a woman nurse indiscreetly at mass.
If the priest is paying attention to what he is supposed to be doing he isn’t looking out at the pews trying to figure out which babies under which shawls are or are not nursing.
If you are looking so closely at a woman that you can TELL she is nursing then you are looking too long and too close.
Anyone woman who is nursing indiscreetly is in the wrong… Screaming hungry babies are more distracting then a quiet nursing baby,
getting up and taking a screaming hungry baby out of mass is more distracting the discreetly nursing him.

-D
 
Despite what I said above, I feel a whole lot more comfortable nursing my baby in a Catholic mass than a fundamentalist church service. It seems like far less Catholics have a problem with nursing than fundamentalist evangelicals.

Oh Brother! Now I’ve heard everything… fundamentalists are hostile to nursing mothers? As one who has nursed four children (birth to age 2) in a variety of fundamentalist churches I can’t disagree with you more. Some fundamentalists might be hostile just as some Catholics might be as well.

Bottom line: I say who gives a hoot? As long as I’m not “flashing” anyone it’s nobody’s business. Mary breastfed… so can I !!! 🙂
 
Mary nursed Jesus, right? Every single nursing mother that I know (especially those that nurse in church) are discrete. Give your daughter a big hug and tell her to keep it up! She is doing something awesome for her baby and herself! She is doing God’s will. Our priest did a homily on nursing in public (and during mass) one time. It was so good! I wish I had it on video!
 
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ekblad7:
Mary nursed Jesus, right? Every single nursing mother that I know (especially those that nurse in church) are discrete. Give your daughter a big hug and tell her to keep it up! She is doing something awesome for her baby and herself! She is doing God’s will. Our priest did a homily on nursing in public (and during mass) one time. It was so good! I wish I had it on video!
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Mary may have nursed Jesus, but she never would have done it in the temple on a holy day…in a room full of strangers. There’s a time AND A PLACE for everything. Yes, the baby nurses on a schedule, but having given birth to 4 babies (and nursed them all), there are any number of ways to do it in private so that others aren’t made uncomfortable by it.

Toni, my sincere suggestion is that your daughter express a bottle of milk either the night before or the morning of mass and feed that to her hungry baby. No one needs to see her breastfeeding, especially during the holy parts of mass (and there’s no stopping a baby mid-feeding just because the consecration has started).

Part of parenting is teaching our children the norms of society. As much as we can accept breastfeeding in certain places, none of us deserves to be subjected to it during mass. As Justice Frankfurter was fond of quoting: *All rights are relative to the rights of others. *In this case, the right to nurse is secondary to the right of others to worship their God without a woman breastfeeding in front of them.

BTW, check with the priest because there may be a protocol already in place. Some parishes have a confessional available for nursing mothers, while others have a private area in the crying room. That way she doesn’t have to reinvent the wheel nor make anyone uncomfortable.
 
loyola rambler:
Toni, my sincere suggestion is that your daughter express a bottle of milk either the night before or the morning of mass and feed that to her hungry baby. No one needs to see her breastfeeding, especially during the holy parts of mass (and there’s no stopping a baby mid-feeding just because the consecration has started).

Part of parenting is teaching our children the norms of society. As much as we can accept breastfeeding in certain places, none of us deserves to be subjected to it during mass. As Justice Frankfurter was fond of quoting: *All rights are relative to the rights of others. *In this case, the right to nurse is secondary to the right of others to worship their God without a woman breastfeeding in front of them.
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Oh, pulease!!! Are you telling me that Mary pulled out her Pump 'N Style and washed up her Avent nipples before she went to Temple? How do you know where Mary nursed? Why does so much early religious art portray Mary nursing Jesus… some of it not so “discreetly” either.

As far as norms of society, that just doesn’t fly. If the norms are wrong we are not obligated to follow them or teach our children to. Are you saying it was the Christian thing to observe segragation because it was the norm. I’m sure you can think of many other examples.

Again, I ask, what is it about nursing that is so, so offensive? And don’t tell me that nobody likes to see breasts, because the vast majority of mothers don’t show their breasts when they are nursing.
 
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daniellet:
Oh, pulease!!! Are you telling me that Mary pulled out her Pump 'N Style and washed up her Avent nipples before she went to Temple? How do you know where Mary nursed? Why does so much early religious art portray Mary nursing Jesus… some of it not so “discreetly” either.
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In a word…WRONG. Jewish society NEVER tolerated a woman baring any part of her body in public…not even her hair. The religious art came along 1400 years later and is hardly contemporary to the BVM. It was created in a decadent Italian society that even allowed for pope who had concubines and illegitimate children. That doesn’t mean it’s the poster for breastfeeding during mass.
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daniellet:
As far as norms of society, that just doesn’t fly. If the norms are wrong we are not obligated to follow them or teach our children to. Are you saying it was the Christian thing to observe segragation because it was the norm. I’m sure you can think of many other examples.
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Maybe, however, the norms are right and your perception of them is wrong. There was a time not so long ago that women felt the need to rip open their shirts, tear off their bras and burn the bras in a giant bon fire. This is right? This is appropriate? Nooooooo. Well, neither is impinging upon others with an act that many are uncomfortable witnessing. I wouldn’t be too happy with a room full of people trying to listen to the Gospel, but instead have to listen to your child loudly suckling on your breast. The reason for discretion is so that you don’t impinge on others and don’t feel that your supposed right is somehow greater than ours.
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daniellet:
Again, I ask, what is it about nursing that is so, so offensive? And don’t tell me that nobody likes to see breasts, because the vast majority of mothers don’t show their breasts when they are nursing.
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It’s not something to be done during mass. Just as people shouldn’t be listening to the radio, watching TV, playing poker, changing tampons or airing their stinky feet in the middle of the church during mass. There’s a right place for everything, and frankly mass isn’t the place for “satisfying” any of your bodily needs. I’m sorry if you’re offended by it, but hey you’re hardly the only woman who’s ever breastfed and some of us who did never considered it our right to feed our child during a sacred mass. That’s why there are cry rooms, rest rooms, private automobiles and small rooms in the back of church…so you can take care of such things without violating propriety.
 
loyola rambler:
In a word…WRONG. Jewish society NEVER tolerated a woman baring any part of her body in public…not even her hair. The religious art came along 1400 years later and is hardly contemporary to the BVM.

Maybe, however, the norms are right and your perception of them is wrong. There was a time not so long ago that women felt the need to rip open their shirts, tear off their bras and burn the bras in a giant bon fire. This is right? This is appropriate? Nooooooo.

It’s not something to be done during mass. Just as people shouldn’t be listening to the radio, watching TV, playing poker, changing tampons or airing their stinky feet in the middle of the church during mass.
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Women in many Muslim societies, hardly bra burning poster women, breastfeed their babies in public.

rehydrate.org/dd/img1/dd1517.jpg

As for the art coming from the 1400’s, one of the earliest pieces of Marian art (well before 1400) portrays Mary nursing Jesus.

home.nyc.rr.com/mysticalrose/catacomb.jpg

My discreetly breastfeeding my baby is not disgusting. Your comparing breastfeeding to changing a tampon* is*, however, disgusting.

I do think societies norms wrt breastfeeding are wrong. I think the following quote sums it up best:

“Many women don’t overcome the obstacles. Some women may overcome obstacles, but don’t enjoy breastfeeding because of all the negativity and perceived rules and drudgery of the task. I believe that in a more open breastfeeding society, more women would nurse their babies and more women would enjoy doing it. Perhaps even the very institution of motherhood would gain more respect as the uniqueness of the relationship between mother and child is seen in full view.”
 
That’s why there are cry rooms, rest rooms, private automobiles and small rooms in the back of church…so you can take care of such things without violating propriety.
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Well, in my family, eating in a bathroom just is not done. I have nursed all of my children, and nursed during Mass, and would do so again if I’m blessed with another child before menopause happens. Not all churches (thankfully, IMO) have cry rooms, and leaving Mass to feed one’s baby means that the mother will fail to fulfill her Sunday obligation (yes, there are babies who refuse to take bottles, and let’s face it–not all Mass schedules are going to have one that falls neatly in the middle of times a particular baby is hungry).

Nursing in public (in general or at Mass in particular) does not have to entail revealing any body parts whatsoever–proper attire is a necessity, though. However, for anyone who does have a problem w/ a baby being fed during Mass (sure, toddlers can be expected to wait, older babies can be staved off w/ a small cup if necessary–but small babies who are exclusively breastfeeding need to eat.

To the naysayers, I suggest they take it up with the Creator, since it’s His design for small babies in the first place.
 
Mary nursed Christ our Lord. Discreet and unoffending nursing is highly do-able. God gave her baby to her, not to the parishioners. Tell her to tend to her baby in the tender way she has done and don’t give a hoot what the others think. I have and will nurse during Mass when my child needs to, period. He’s more important that what someone may think of me.
 
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WhiteDove:
It’s too bad people are making negative comments. That is utterly pathetic.

I’m all for it. I think nursing is a delightful sight. Much better than all the gabarge that surrounds us in our decadent society that thinks it’s a choice to kill babies.

I nursed 6 kids and always tried to be discreet, but I’m for it all the way. I love the lip smacking sound too!
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Isn’t it the most precious an innocent child just as content as can be with no worrys just at peace.
I was feeling really bad for her, because she had some rude comments made to her. So she just would not nurse in the crier room then my grandson would scream and she would have to leave the churchto nurse . Pathetic is right. Sometimes she misses most of Mass because of this. He has never taken a bottle.
 
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riabia:
I nursed my daughter during mass quite often, and think that it is perfectly acceptable as long as you are not baring yourself to the word in the process (I had a friend who nursed like this- it didn’t embarass her, and she didn’t understand that it bothered other people). I love nursing shirts- check out www.motherwear.com . They are a little pricey, but I thought they were worth it. I would still use a receiving blanket to get us “set up”, then I would lower the blanket and use it more to wrap her with, but have it readily accessable in case she decided to pop off. I really liked that with the nursing clothes my stomach, side and back were not hanging out.

Tell your daughter to keep it up- it is best for her baby, and I think that those who may be put off by her nursing would be even more unhappy with a fussy, crying baby who is hungry!
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Thank you for the site information. I will pass it on, and maybe we can find something there for her.
 
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