Objections To Grace Before Meals

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Lukelion

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Some friends went to Thanksgiving dinner at the home of an ex-catholic. The hostesses Catholic mother asked the hostess to say grace before dinner, and she refused. (So her mother said it.)
I was taught grace simply means “thanksgiving”.
Don’t most religions say grace before a special meal?
Does anyone know of religions that do not “believe” in saying grace, and what is the objection to it?
Thanks
Lukelion
 
I’m a bit confused as to what you mean. Most Catholics do say ‘grace,’ or a prayer before eating their meals. As far as the ex-catholic daughter, I would venture to say she was using the request to make a statement about her belief-or lack thereof. Or did you mean that perhaps she now belongs to a religion in which saying grace is specifically discouraged, and wondered if anyone on here knew of any?
 
Yes. I mean which religions specifically discourage saying grace,
and why is it discouraged?
Sorry for the confusion,
Lukelion
 
Hi all!

Religions that actually discourage saying some sort of blessing before/after meals?! :confused: :bigyikes:
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Lukelion:
Don’t most religions say grace before a special meal?
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We orthodox Jews say various short blessings (depending on what exactly we’re eating/drinking) before a meal & a longer blessing afterwards (jewfaq.org/prayer.htm#Grace is a good short introduction, with audio links).
Appreciation brings joy. When someone gives you a present, the appreciation of the gift is directly linked to how much you know about it. What is it, where is it from, how was it made, and who is giving it to you…?

Someone gives you a sweater. Beautiful. The wool is from Ireland. Stunning. It was made by hand. Amazing. The person giving it to you is the one who made it…and that person is your best friend.

You can imagine how much this sweater would be appreciated.

The more knowledge you have about the source of the gift, the more it can be appreciated, and the more joy it will bring.

And that is why, in Judaism, we take the time to say blessings.

“Baruch atah…” is the familiar start to the many blessings that we say. “Baruch” is Hebrew for blessed, so it seems that we are continually blessing God. Does God really need our blessings?

“Baruch” is from the same root as “braycha”, which means spring, where water comes from. Their connection is that they are both about “source”.

When we say a bracha, a blessing, we are acknowledging that everything has a source, and that source is God. We are thanking Him, for He is the source of everything.

When we bentch (recite the Grace After Meals), we are appreciating that this food came from Him, and that gives the enjoyment of the meal a whole new meaning. We recognize that we are truly blessed, and give thanks. The act of thanking helps us recognize the source of this blessing. This recognition brings appreciation, and appreciation brings joy.

God does not need our blessings. We need our blessings, for they get us back in touch with the root if it all. That knowledge of source is the foundation for the ultimate in happiness.

A good meal now becomes a connection to The Eternal.
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Link: shabat.co.il/howto/birkat_hamazon.htm

Be well!

ssv 👋
 
I think it is far more likely that the person who refused to say grace did not have a basis in conscience, but was using the occassion to be deliberately offensive to a parent. using the situation to play out some kind of family power struggle.
 
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puzzleannie:
I think it is far more likely that the person who refused to say grace did not have a basis in conscience, but was using the occassion to be deliberately offensive to a parent. using the situation to play out some kind of family power struggle.
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Either that, or she just felt uncomfortable or unqualified to do it. Many Catholics (ex or otherwise), if they don’t know the tradtional Catholic grace, i.e., “Bless us O Lord…etc” (and, believe me, I know many who don’t), refuse to say extemporaneous (spontaneous) prayers because they mistakenly think it takes special training to do, or that only Protestants have some special gene or chip in this regard. :rolleyes:
 
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Fidelis:
if they don’t know the tradtional Catholic grace, i.e., “Bless us O Lord…etc”
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If you don’t mind me side tracking this thread a little, what is a traditional Catholic grace? When I became a protestant christian 9 years ago I had to make up my own grace because I had no christian family or friends. Now that it looks like I will become Catholic I am in the same dilema, no Catholic friends or family.
 
“Bless us, Oh Lord, and these, thy gifts, which we are about to receive. From Thy bounty, through Christ our Lord, Amen”
 
As a kid, we always said (this may be Lutheran, as that’s what my momma converted from):

Come Lord Jesus, Be our guest, Let these gifts to us be Blessed, amen.
 
I have seen people “pass” on saying or leading a prayer out loud because they didn’t feel comfortable doing so, out of shyness, or afraid they would do a poor job. Or did this woman actually not want ANYONE to say grace?

cheddar
 
to check on something similar (I too becoming Catholic - and I had been meaning to ask about what the Catholic “grace” was since I knew there was a traditional one) - at what point does one cross ones self when saying grace?
 
We can cross ourselves before\after or both it is personal preference.

There have been some threads on the sign of the cross which go pretty in depth on history and meaning of this short prayer\blessing.

I will see if I can find any links

God Bless
Scylla
 
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Fidelis:
… or that only Protestants have some special gene or chip in this regard. :rolleyes:
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It’s a chip. It hurts like heck to have it removed.

We dod a combo at my house. We always say the traditional “Bless us, O Lord” followed by any short blessings for family, etc.
 
AmISearching?:
to check on something similar (I too becoming Catholic - and I had been meaning to ask about what the Catholic “grace” was since I knew there was a traditional one) - at what point does one cross ones self when saying grace?
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I’m told that Eastern Orthodox sign themselves three times in rapid succssion. Meanwhile, traditional Catholics and Anglo-Catholics cross themselves BEFORE and AFTER the Grace Before Meals, AND that they also say a Grace After Meals at which they cross themselves before-and-after. More mainstream Catholics and Anglo-Catholics just say the Grace Before Meals, crossing before-and-after the prayer. Mainstream Episcopalians cross themselves at the opening of the prayer but close ‘in the name of Jesus’. Protestant-minded Anglicans and Protestants generally eschew the Sign of the Cross altogether. Evangelicals and Fundamentalists traditionally preceded a grace before meals with a brief reading from Scripture (one or two verses, generally). Their prayers were always extemporaneous–it being seen as blasphemous to recite a written or memorised prayer in such circles.

I’m SURE this is a very simpistic and poorly-constructed breakdown of the different sorts of customs. But you get an idea of how things might break down.
 
At my house we’d say grace (or the blessing as we called it) but it wouldn’t be a pre-memorized prayer. It was usually made up off the top of the head of whoever was saying it. The exception being small children. If a small child wants to say grace they would usually do the "god is great… " prayer. When the child gets old enough to make up his own prayers that was encouraged. Of course, every child goes through this phase where they bless every living thing… “God bless the fork, God bless the napkin” and you don’t want to stop the child to discourage them from praying. (After all, the prayers of a child can be so refreshingly honest) but dinner’s getting cold!!! :confused:

We didn’t use pre-written prayer because we though they were heretical. We just encourage that you speak to God in your own words from your heart. That’s why all Evangelical prayers are not pre-written.
 
Thank you all for your insights. So the reason was probably rebellion, not religion? I guess ex-catholics aren’t always rational about things they perceive to be “catholicy” .
stillsmallvoice, thank you for the link. It answered some questions.
Lukelion
 
Hi all!
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Lukelion:
stillsmallvoice, thank you for the link. It answered some questions.
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You’re welcome. One of my rabbis pointed out that the first sin in the world was committed by eating. By thanking God before/after eating, we bring holiness into the world and help to rectify that first sin.

Be well!

ssv 👋
 
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