OCD Discussions

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margaret42 said:
Have you found a good med doctor by now who will know what they’re prescribing?
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Yeah, I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist for years whom I really like a lot. And I used to also see a psychologist who specializes in Anxiety Disorders but she retired and moved.

These bad experiences I wrote about happened many years ago, back when people were just starting to talk about OCD.
 
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It’s the opposite for me. My OCD is terrible when I just sit at home, but whenever I leave the house things are much better.
 
And just saying OCD, except to others who have it or to trained providers sounds weird. By now, it sounds like most people know what you’re talking about.
 
Constant fear of hell and damnation, intrusive thoughts, “rules” (“if you do X, then you’ll sell your soul to the devil”), worrying about dumb theological issues (you can read my past questions), never-ending dread
 
I had fears along the way of “hell and damnation”, and currently get “intrusive thoughts”, for which my medicine has just been increased! And rules , yes. But Jesus has explanations for those rules, which include exceptions-or they couldn’t be done at all. And those explanations can be answered through any well-trained priest or spiritual director. like, “What did Jesus mean by…”?
Do you have a director? Or at least a provider of ocd meds.
 
Great, there are lots of good ones out there. What have you started on? I take Zoloft for OCD.
 
Ambasea said:
“if you do X, then you’ll sell your soul to the devil”),
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I know how awful that can be. One of the earliest manifestations of OCD I had when I was young revolved around infernal pacts.

It re-occured later in life and I had to make elaborate lists to “neutralize” and “prevent” such pacts taking place. It was agony. I carried them with me so if I needed to I could go off by myself to recite the elaborate formulas I came up with to prevent any harm from being caused.
 
That sounds horrible. For me, it was innocent stuff such as “if you walk down the stairs, you’ll sell your soul” or “if you don’t flatten your palm when raising your hand in class then you’ll go to hell”

Utter torture.
 
I read a classic OCD case in the paper today. A guy has to have his pillow exactly in the centre of his bed. he gets out a measuring tape to make sure it is millimeter perfect. But then he wakes up in the night, worrying if the pillow is still exactly in the centre of the bed. Poor guy.
 
And when you think about Jesus, He only wants us to be in heaven; He doesn’t do things to scare us away from Him. So it’s not God who wants you to do or fear what you do
 
I know. I went through absolute torture. I am sure you do too. If a thought even flashed by, often I would have to go through an elaborate ritual.

When my meds conked out on me and I had to switch, there was an awful period where I would spend hours ritualizing to find peace, only for it to get worse and worse.

Pure, absolute torture. I would rather be beaten to a pulp than go through a prolonged, full blown OCD crisis again.
 
I remember that my sophomore year of high school, when my OCD was the worst, I would pray compulsively in the middle of my classes for forgiveness. I go to a public school. Sometimes I’d even pray under my breath when talking to teachers, and that got me into trouble with my parents, lol.

I’m glad that things are better for you 🙂
 
Yeah, people who have this really do see how silly it all is; since it’s all about doing things perfectly. And since we can’t do anything perfectly on our own-only God can perfect us- then our “goals” can’t be accomplished, and fear sets in?
 
I am not cured. I still have OCD, only at a lower level where I can function (the sense of dread and periodic anxiety attacks still happen, as do all the other symptoms). I still get attacks, but it isn’t constant torment that lasted for months. I am still recovering from when my last full blown crisis happened in 2012.

I hope you too will soon find peace. Your medicine alone may reduce the severity of your symptoms, but you will still need to cope. You will need to take a firm approach and treat your scrupulosity/OCD like the mental and spiritual poison it is.

Read this essay. Print it out. It is over 100 years old, but it is an incredibly powerful essay about how to fight scrupulosity. I find it to be very helpful when I get attacks and doubts.

 
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