O
otjm
Guest
Having had a professions which absolutely was not a 9 to 5 job, and having had friends who had professions which likewise had far more demands than a 9 to 5 (and yes, I know priesthood is not a profession), I can only surmise that those who constantly bring up the issues of demanding schedules are those who have never had one.Maybe 50 or 60 years ago, the argument against married priests was based more on the attitude to celibacy. I think the caution against married priests today reflects far greater concern over the fragility of the married state. Divorce among Catholics (and Protestants, and others) today is far worse than anyone could have predicted in 1960. I have relatives who have been enormously impacted by issues with their children through the teen years, often well into their kids’ young adulthood.
It’s tempting to say “ordain Bob, we can limit his duties to Sunday mornings and Saturday afternoon”. But you KNOW what will happen: the pastor gets sick, and there’s no back up plan; that hospital can’t find a priest to come in at night; they need a priest to say Mass for the K of C, the alumni gathering, the convent, the Scouts, the this, the that; this emergency, that crisis, and so on. “If you’re a priest, how can you turn us down”. He is scheduled for only a half hour of confessions, but one confession opens up a huge can of worms that he has to deal with.
Bob’s family life seemed stable 5 years ago when he entered seminary. Today Fr. Bob’s son is on drugs, and it’s stressing Fr. Bob’s marriage, especially since the phone won’t stop ringing for him to come help. I know an awful lot of Christians who had a seemingly stable family life, who are raising their grandchildren, or dealing with their 20-something daughter’s mental illness, or other concerns, not predicted a decade earlier, none of which are their “fault”. It’s easier for deacons to limit their ministry duties than priests, but even deacons have had family life sometimes stressed by their ministry.
I’m not denying the arguments presented here for a married priesthood, which I agree with; I’m simply looking at the issue from another direction - or rather, from the other sacrament.
Yes, there are a lot of divorces; about 1 out of 4 Catholic marriages end in divorce, and that is way too high.
On the other hand, 75% of Catholic marriages do not end in divorce; and I fail to see that the world, and in particular the Catholic world, does not need more witnesses to marriages sticking together.
The same issue was brought up constantly about married deacons - “Oh, the scandal that we are going to have” - except it never materialized.
Which marriage is more likely to have problems ending in divorce - one in which both parties are soundly committed to Catholicism, or one in which one or both parties are at best mildly catechized, and far more drawn to the secular world than the Christian world?
We are constantly bombarded with the nonsense of the priest committed 24/7 - hogwash; - if for no other reason than that they sleep 8 hours of that 24, and (at least in our diocese) they are required to take one day off.
And it is beyond silliness that the remaining time is crammed so full that they can’t see straight. Some are far better time managers than others; they are not out every night - in fact they are not out once every week - tending to the sick and dying for two reasons - a) there are simply not that many people dying and requiring the Sacraments; and b) many of those that do are attended to during the day.
In other words, we are making a false construct, and then attempting to apply it to all priests. There are a number of priests who do not have parishes; they may assist at a parish or may assist wherever needed in an on-going basis; but they too are not meeting demands 24/7.
Yes, there are emergencies; and guess what - doctors have those too. And doctors’ families manage the odd hours. And that is not to mention the demands put on married deacons. Yes, they too do not have 9 to 5 jobs with weekends completely off; and we are not seeing disintegration of their families and marriages.
Absolutely there are demands on marriages if one has the vocation of priest - we have married priests in the Roman rite and we have a 2000 year history of married priests in the Eastern rites; and they manage. Are they pastors of parishes? In the Roman rite some may be (in our Archdiocese, Father Slider Steuernol, who was previously a Presbyterian minister, was pastor of a smaller inner city parish in Portland and managed); others are assistants, or are doing something other than parish work during the week.
Maybe elsewhere pastors are running out on calls in the middle of the night for people in crisis; but the priests I know pretty much keep office hours except for Sacrament of the Sick (and as noted, that often is administered during the day, of by a hospital chaplain who is not assigned parish work).
Does it make a demand on a marriage: absolutely. Does celibacy make a demand? Totally aside from sexual issues, there is the lack of companionship and the support of another. Talking to walls, or to the cat or dog, is not conducive to having the emotional support that many, if not most people need. It used to be that many parishes had several priests in residence and there was some form of community; any more that is the exception.