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benidict
Guest
Did I state this? Read the whole post, that should answer your question. Im not going to debate this here. Do you have anything to offer to the op, instead of Trying to pick a fight? Do you have anything useful?
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benidict
Guest
I didnt think so. 
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MSNH
Guest
i do. stop not helping people man. Skeptic catholic? there a lot of those in Hell.I didnt think so.
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benidict
Guest
And for you also. Do YOU have anything you May want to add for the OP? or do you just wish to pick a fight. Ive read some of you post and you seem a little mentally unbalanced anyhow. I dont argue or deal with people who are mentally ill. I retired from that field many years ago. May want to restart your meds. Just a suggestion.i do. stop not helping people man. Skeptic catholic? there a lot of those in Hell.
BTW Thank you of informing me of my eternal destiny. I did not know you had the power to do that. Im impressed. Also the proud an arrogant are gonna be there, so many of those condemning me, will probably have to spend eternity with me. How nice. A capive audience 
Do you wish for me to save you a seat?
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Jaguar
Guest
You have to give me more than 6 minutes, to reply, benedict!Did I state this? Read the whole post, that should answer your question. Im not going to debate this here. Do you have anything to offer to the op, instead of Trying to pick a fight? Do you have anything useful?
ā¦ and yes, I do have something very useful to offer the OP.
**HisGrace, you shouldnāt take part in discussing this problem with benidict (or anyone else on this forum), Keep it between you and a well respected, qualified and competent priest. He can get to know you far better than we can, and thus help you more effectively.
Please do not try to find answers from those who try to minimize and spin (or excuse) their way around the true teachings of the Catholic Church. There are plenty of those folks here, along with those that will try to be your judge & jury, w/o knowing you. Everyoneās struggle with these issues are very different. Take it to an understanding and trusted priest, and speak to him regularly, instead.
**
You are in my prayers.
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MSNH
Guest
you are right about the part where we shouldnāt be talking about this on this persons post;howeverā would you care to continue this argument (it IS an argument; not a fight) on a different thread? (it will be entitled: Lies, all Lies) see ya there?And for you also. Do YOU have anything you May want to add for the OP? or do you just wish to pick a fight. Ive read some of you post and you seem a little mentally unbalanced anyhow. I dont argue or deal with people who are mentally ill. I retired from that field many years ago. May want to restart your meds. Just a suggestion.
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ClayPots47
Guest
You cannot receive communion while in a state of mortal sin. To do so is to commit the sin of sacrilege. You can make a perfect Act of Contrition, then resolve to get to confession ASAP. You can also make spiritual communions.Thank you so much for all the post. I went to confession Saturday and Sunday found myself doing the same thing I confessed to the Priest. Do I confess the same sin again? Do I go again to Confession on Saturday? Can I partake in The Eucharist without confessing? I donāt feel comfortable doing that but feel I need His Body & Blood. This is a real struggle for me. Thanks
From your OP, it sounds like you are doing a lot of good spiritual practices, you should continue with your prayers, even if you fall and sin. You will receive all the graces and merits of those prayers when you are absolved of your sins in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. If you donāt have a regular confessor (a particular priest you go to), you should consider having one. A spiritual director can also be a great help; the same priest can be both, if you and he agree. You have a history of addictions, and you may be substituting one addictive behavior (masturbation) for previous substance abuse addictions. Your drug use may have been an attempt to self-medicate for your mental health issues. Putting your spiritual life under the care of one priest, would be of great benefit. As the priest gets to know the condition of your soul over the course of several confessions, he is better able to guide you and advise you.
Practicing some form of self-denial or even some type of bodily mortification (under the direction of a priest, donāt attempt this on your own), may help strengthen your resolve to not sin. You should discuss this with your confessor and/or spiritual director; and only do what he tells you, as obedience to the priest is pleasing to God. The most important thing is to not give up, donāt fall into despair. Keep persevering, keep praying. A rhetorical question you should ask yourself, when you fall, are you perhaps having problems mentally? Even the Big M can become a form of self-medicating. Depression and anxiety can cause people to turn to carnal pleasures in an effort to treat their depression and/or anxiety. You should inform your confessor and/or spiritual director regarding your mental health, as that does play a role, and enables the priest to better assist you. .
Be persistent with prayer and the sacraments. :console:
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losh14
Guest
This must be that kind of week. I find when I struggle I wind up online and somehow it helps to make my way here instead of some place vapid and wicked.Saturday I went to confession. Today I gave in againā¦ I really been struggling with porn too.
Sin like this isnāt just spiritual - addiction is sin hijacking our biology to pervert what is good into something other. This week I gave up two addictions - the titular as well as a video game that has cost probably the equivalent of three months of waking hours. Iām a married father of two with a graduate degree and a full-time job and an absolute need to veer away from this self-destruction.
Unlike other addictions, pleasure isnāt one you can take away the substance or equipment from. When youāre alone, itās with you. Even when youāre with others, itās with you. Thereās no cold turkey here, itās strictly self-control, and from what you tell of your challenges, your wiring contributes to the difficulty. When I worked in a casino we used to say we could differentiate gambling addicts from leisurely players by the ones who smoke and drank at their machines - addictions just seem to go together.
Thatās not to say theyāre insurmountable, but it does add more momentum you have to move against. Iāve struggled with masturbation for the past 14 years, which is nothing compared with your history, but I understand your difficulty.
I can say the Catechism does note this difficulty with masturbation in particular (CCC 2352):
To form an equitable judgment about the subjectsā moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability.
That doesnāt mean itās not wrong, but it does give a mitigating factor. Looking at porn is verboten, but if, by force of habit, you find yourself overpowered while really not wanting to do it, donāt find that as reason alone to abstain from the Eucharist. Do find reason to confess it regularly, not just the masturbation but also the occasions of sin that lead you there - note that the CCC presents the paragraph to guide pastoral action, not personal.
I should note that priests have told me the same in Confession - one even told me never to confess masturbation again but to view it as a bad habit that needed to be broken. I wonāt go that far, but I donāt want to see you abstain from the Body and Blood while you struggle, so long as you struggle towards Christ and so long as you understand the gravity of it. You know the difference between spending two hours online looking in the wrong places, and the overwhelming feeling of ārunning hotā that you may resist for horus but it still wakes you up in the middle of the night demanding attention.
One other caveat - get help with this addiction too. If youāre not at least talking to someone about it, youāre not going to get over it. Youāre also more morally culpable. So long as you struggle youāre not lost, but when you stop struggling ā¦
Iāll pray for you, Brooklyn, and ask humbly your prayers as well.
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odhiambo
Guest
Remember, O most loving Virgin Mary,
that never was it known,
that anyone who fled to your protection,
implored your help, or sought your intercession,
was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence,
though burdened by my sins,
I fly to you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother.
To you I come, before you I stand,
sinful and sorrowful.
O Mother of the Word Incarnate,
despise not my petitions, but in your mercy,
hear and answer me.
Amen.
that never was it known,
that anyone who fled to your protection,
implored your help, or sought your intercession,
was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence,
though burdened by my sins,
I fly to you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother.
To you I come, before you I stand,
sinful and sorrowful.
O Mother of the Word Incarnate,
despise not my petitions, but in your mercy,
hear and answer me.
Amen.
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losh14
Guest
Correction:
It sounded like I said looking at porn can be mitigated. It canāt.
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ReturningToRome
Guest
Praying to Mary until the power of the temptation subsides has been a big help to me. Also, resisting the temptation is suffering that pleases God, and you can offer that suffering for the good of someone else who is in some sort of need. This will help you to take your attention off of yourself. Also call to mind that anyone you may be fantasizing over is a beloved child of God. Pray for purity for this person also. Hope this helps! The more you resist, the stronger man in Christ you will become.
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Peastalker
Guest
Keep spanking the monkey, but not enough so when you get laid you canāt get up or canāt cum. Oh also clean under the foreskin, **** gets stanky.
I hear that Jesus LOVES to fiddle with his jimmy jammer, who doesnāt? Donāt feel guilty for being human.
I hear that Jesus LOVES to fiddle with his jimmy jammer, who doesnāt? Donāt feel guilty for being human.
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Rock_Happy
Guest
Every year of two, there is a study trying to link prostrate health with frequent ejaculation. The studies have gone both ways. If anything, frequent ejaculation at a young age may increase cancer risk, while frequent ejaculation in older age may reduce cancer risk. This seems counter to the natural changes in hormone levels and libido which occur as men age. However, none of this is conclusive. The medical experts whom I know in the field of Urology pretty much concur that the studies are all over the board, and therefore no conclusion can be reached at this time.We have had entire threads on this issue adnausium. feel free to pm me if you wish. there is more to it, than what you will hear here. I have my own views on this. And it is good for the prostrate. every time I link the proof though, they pull the thread. So I wont do it here.Be glad to discuss this with you elsewhere though. Peace
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Neithan
Guest
Since you are already familiar with 12 step recovery, have you considered Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)?
They were the first 12 step sex addicts group and have the strictest definition of sobriety: no sex with self or anyone except your spouse (which is further clarified - sadly, now necessary - to mean only a heterosexual marriage).
In my experience, although God can work miracles, and His grace will give us the will to keep fighting for purity, prayer and fasting alone may not suffice to root out the psychological causes of our addictions. The 12 step program does just that.
www.sa.org
God bless you
They were the first 12 step sex addicts group and have the strictest definition of sobriety: no sex with self or anyone except your spouse (which is further clarified - sadly, now necessary - to mean only a heterosexual marriage).
In my experience, although God can work miracles, and His grace will give us the will to keep fighting for purity, prayer and fasting alone may not suffice to root out the psychological causes of our addictions. The 12 step program does just that.
www.sa.org
God bless you
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Fragile
Guest
Iām not too keen on SA anymore, canāt really buy into the disease model motif, plus many in those groups who were professing christians no longer attended church as they saw SA as their primary spiritual support. This is not to say that it can be of no help, I learned a lot about myself and this enslaving sin there, just coudnāt abide w/the whole program.
Hereās another good resourse!
shop.catholic.com/product.php?productid=178
Hereās another good resourse!
shop.catholic.com/product.php?productid=178
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JAW642
Guest
To HisGrace1967
From JAW642 on 05/27/2011
HisGrace1967, I hope this priest and the included web site will help you at least a little bit.
God knows that we are sexual males, because He made us that way, purposefully.
By Fr. John F. Harvey, OSFS
Masturbation
Living In The Truth: Overcoming the Masturbation Habit
couragerc.net/Masturbation.html
Morality of Masturbatory Activity
Father Farraher also points out that sexual stimulation by a married couple is morally licit if it leads to natural vaginal intercourse or completes the marital act.'2 Farraher is very exact about what constitutes grave malice in masturbation when he writes: "for a person to be formally guilty of a mortal sin of masturbation his act must be a fully deliberate choice of what he fully realizes is seriously sinful."13 If such an act is done with only partial realization, or partial consent of the will, it is a venial sin; and āif there is no free choice of the will there is no guilt of sin at all even if the person is aware of what he is doing.ā'4 Farraher goes on to point out that there is no sin even when a person foresees that sexual stimulation and orgasm will result from some action that the person is freely performing, provided that he does not intend such stimulation, but merely permits it, and that he has a sufficiently good reason for doing it. (This is simply an application of the principle of the twofold effect.)'5
Farraher corrects the misunderstanding that many Catholics have that if they experience sexual stimulation, however unwillingly, they have committed mortal sin.16
Distinction between Past Behavior and the Present
There is a little freedom, but hardly sufficient to constitute serious guilt. This is even more true when persons struggle against this impulse when they are trying to sleep at night, or are surprised by temptation in the middle of the night or upon awakening. Farraher comments at length on these situations in which the individual who has resisted the temptation to masturbate during waking hours is sometimes overwhelmed with sexual fantasies as he tries to go to sleep, or upon awakening in the morning. As long as the person makes a real effort to turn his mind away, he commits no sin even if orgasm occurs. If he is uncertain whether he really tried hard enough to get rid of fantasy, he may settle the doubt in favor of his innocence. According to traditional norms of moral theology one may presume that his intention during waking hours was also present in the moment of nocturnal temptation. Confessors and spiritual guides should reassure guilt-ridden persons who feel that since they were awake at the time of orgasm they are guilty of sin that they have not sinned inasmuch as the masturbation is presumed to be involuntary. "To tell him that he can avoid even these involuntary experiences if he tries hard enough and uses supernatural means can cause severe anxiety and even despair since he may not be able to avoid what is really involuntary."31
Guilt and Shame in All Forms of Masturbation
So, likewise, in the question of masturbation many persons torture themselves needlessly. I refer primarily to good living people whose only āsinā is masturbation. The spiritual counselor or confessor who knows the struggles that these persons have had tries to make it clear that there has been no free consent to the impulse to masturbate.
There is no grievous sin if a person masturbates while lacking in awareness, as when he is half awake, or half asleep, or when a person is carried away by sudden passion and finds himself committing the act despite the resistance of the will. This is one of the effects of original sin, that human passions tend to overcome the acts of the will (Rom. 7: l~2O). An individual may agree with this reasoning, and yet in his heart feel guilty of masturbation, because he will say to himself, āIf I had tried harder I would not have had the fantasies, I should be able to get rid of all my impure thoughts.ā
The trouble with this feeling of guilt is that it presupposes that we humans have perfect control over our passions not only over lust, but also over avarice, anger, and other disordered emotions. We know that we have no such control. The person involved in masturbation, however, needs to believe that with Godās grace he can overcome the habit of masturbation.
From JAW642 on 05/27/2011
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Leibniz
Guest
You know, this might just be the hardest part of believing in God to me. It just seems crazy to me that masturbation could be a mortal sin. I have been seeking to find a way back to Catholicism for many years now, but then I come back upon threads like these, and my heart just drops. Thereās no way I could ever see myself following Catholic teachings, and I have serious doubts as to how well anybody else can follow them either. It seems like a whole different universe apart from the reality where I live.
And itās not like I consider myself some kind of sex addict or someone with an addictive personality. Quite the opposite.
I just hate coming upon stories like this because they make me feel so hopeless about trying to believe that God actually exists, or even if He did, that I could ever be reconciled with him. This hardline teaching on mortal sin also seems to have really gotten out of control.
I was raised Catholic and had problems with masturbation since the age of 7. I think when I was 8 or 9 I managed to go almost 2 weeks without playing with myself, and I think that still stands as my lifetime record of abstinence.
And itās not like I consider myself some kind of sex addict or someone with an addictive personality. Quite the opposite.
I just hate coming upon stories like this because they make me feel so hopeless about trying to believe that God actually exists, or even if He did, that I could ever be reconciled with him. This hardline teaching on mortal sin also seems to have really gotten out of control.
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dje101
Guest
I didnāt read through everyoneās posts, so I donāt know what tips have been given to you.
A few things that have helped me out are not taking my computer anywhere private (like my room). I keep it out in the living room where I know that I will not do anything like that. I also put up a big picture on my background of Christ from āThe Passion of the Christā when he is on the cross to remind me who I serve and what he endured for my sins.
And like others have said, pray. The rosary is exceptionally helpful. I started feeling the temptation the other day at home, I dropped down and started praying the rosary; after I got done with the first 3 Hail Maryās and the Glory Be, the temptation was gone.
Just figure out what gets you āin the moodā to start looking up porn, and get rid of it. Get rid of the trigger. If you notice a habit that you do every time that has led you to looking up porn, change your habit.
God bless.
A few things that have helped me out are not taking my computer anywhere private (like my room). I keep it out in the living room where I know that I will not do anything like that. I also put up a big picture on my background of Christ from āThe Passion of the Christā when he is on the cross to remind me who I serve and what he endured for my sins.
And like others have said, pray. The rosary is exceptionally helpful. I started feeling the temptation the other day at home, I dropped down and started praying the rosary; after I got done with the first 3 Hail Maryās and the Glory Be, the temptation was gone.
Just figure out what gets you āin the moodā to start looking up porn, and get rid of it. Get rid of the trigger. If you notice a habit that you do every time that has led you to looking up porn, change your habit.
God bless.
S
slywakka250
Guest
sexual release is really a natural thing. It takes supernatural strength to resist it and control it. I donāt doubt it is spiritually beneficial to do so, though through your struggle what I would suggest most of all is to be at peace. donāt let guilt and shame about this get you down. You are precious child of God, and Jesus loves you, no matter what you do.
I believe spiritual development is a very long process. I tend to believe in reincarnation, and that our souls have all the time we need to work out this issue, even if it takes many lifetimes, and much struggle.
The Catholic Church teaches that masturbation is a mortal sin, that a single fully willed decision to masturbate, has as its direct effect, the destruction of our union with God, such that eternal torture in hell awaits us were it not for Godās great grace of giving us a second chance in confession where we have to give an accounting to a priest of the exact number of times we masturbated. Or if we choose not to do this, we can burn for eternity, where the worm doesnāt die, and the fire is NEVER quenched. It is dangerous to be a Catholic indeed. This why I take the view that all is well; that I will in time see clearly the evil of masturbation, even if it takes me beyond this lifetime. I try not to let fear of eternal punishment get in the way of my spiritual development. I take one step forward at a time. going at my own very slow pace, and hope the Lord will understand.
I believe spiritual development is a very long process. I tend to believe in reincarnation, and that our souls have all the time we need to work out this issue, even if it takes many lifetimes, and much struggle.
The Catholic Church teaches that masturbation is a mortal sin, that a single fully willed decision to masturbate, has as its direct effect, the destruction of our union with God, such that eternal torture in hell awaits us were it not for Godās great grace of giving us a second chance in confession where we have to give an accounting to a priest of the exact number of times we masturbated. Or if we choose not to do this, we can burn for eternity, where the worm doesnāt die, and the fire is NEVER quenched. It is dangerous to be a Catholic indeed. This why I take the view that all is well; that I will in time see clearly the evil of masturbation, even if it takes me beyond this lifetime. I try not to let fear of eternal punishment get in the way of my spiritual development. I take one step forward at a time. going at my own very slow pace, and hope the Lord will understand.
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Neithan
Guest
Really? I can see that maybe happening with Protestants, where Scripture, sermons, songs and fellowship is the entirety of the church service. But a Catholic would still want to partake in the sacrifice of the Mass and the sacraments.Iām not too keen on SA anymore, canāt really buy into the disease model motif, plus many in those groups who were professing christians no longer attended church as they saw SA as their primary spiritual support. This is not to say that it can be of no help, I learned a lot about myself and this enslaving sin there, just coudnāt abide w/the whole program.
Hereās another good resourse!
shop.catholic.com/product.php?productid=178
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