OK are there ANY single CHRISTIAN women left?!

[Layp3rs0n]

Ok, I’ve been single for just under three years and not for lack of trying. I live ina very very liberal area of the country. I cannot find any women who are my age (late 20’s) who have conservative views. I’ve prayed and prayed. I’m very lonely. I ask you all to pray for me that I very soon find a good Christian (preferably Catholic) woman who is ACTUALLY INTERESTED. Thank you.

 

[ChiRho]

have you considered online dating? A number of people, myself included have had success with it.

 

[cmscms]

That question can be asked both ways. I am 41 and have over a decade more than you of not being able to find a good Catholic boyfriend. And I since I am a bit older, I grew up in a bit less ‘liberal’ times when it should have been easier.

The point I am trying to make is the best approach is to pray for God’s will. And (I mean this in a charitable way), if your biggest problem is they are NOT interested in you, perhaps you need to figure out why.

I can remember a couple of ‘Catholic’ men thinking we would be a great match since we both went to church every Sunday. They were baffled why I was not interested. Well… one hung out with married men who would have lap dances and the other knew nothing about God’s forgiveness nor the purpose of praying to God.

So… as much as I feel your pain, I think it is important to have the rigth attitude first and foremost

CM

 

[Layp3rs0n]

Heh. I think perhaps my post sounded more whiny than I inteneded. I will glorify God’s Will whatever it may be. I just am kinda hoping I will not be alone much longer. But let God’s Will be done and adored forever.

 

[cuqui]

Ok, I’ve been single for just under three years and not for lack of trying. I live ina very very liberal area of the country. I cannot find any women who are my age (late 20’s) who have conservative views. I’ve prayed and prayed. I’m very lonely. I ask you all to pray for me that I very soon find a good Christian (preferably Catholic) woman who is ACTUALLY INTERESTED. Thank you.

You are young. I met and married my husband in 18 months (dated for 9 mos. and engaged for another 9 mos.) We have been married for almost 14 years and have 2 beautiful kids. I married him when I was 33 and he was 32.
Don’t despair! There is someone very special for you out there. Worth the wait.

 

[Cyclophile]

I second the online dating comment. there are a couple of Catholic-oriented sites out there.

I’ve been divorced for 11 years and I’ve been going through the annulment process for what feels like a millennium but is actually just six months. Online is my plan once I am free to date again.

for now… I just gotta stay chaste. …

 

[twoangels]

Try the internet and try finding places to meet people who are devout. I met my husband on ave maria singles. I’ve known people who met people while traveling to a Catholic conference of some sort. I think finding someone locally is very difficult and often it leads people to look desperate and thus to turn the other person off. The key is to simply be available and in places where you can meet the right type of people, but then to leave the rest in God’s hands. I spent 3 years at a Catholic University with a ton of wonderful devout Catholic men and didn’t even get the opportunity to go on a single date with any of them. It simply wasn’t God’s time. You can’t force it to happen. All you can do is strive to avoid living in isolation from devout Catholics of the opposite sex.

 

[cmscms]

Heh. I think perhaps my post sounded more whiny than I inteneded. I will glorify God’s Will whatever it may be. I just am kinda hoping I will not be alone much longer. But let God’s Will be done and adored forever.

Cool ! Sorry my first post came out harsh.

 

[ChiRho]

Try the internet and try finding places to meet people who are devout.

yep, I think this is a great point. Devout Catholics are looking for very specific things in a potential spouse: are they strong in their faith? would they make a good parent? are they in line with Church teaching?

So, if you seek something specific, it can’t be a bad idea to search in a place where people are most likely to have those traits and beliefs. These can be on the internet, or also in church organizations. One advantage of the internet is a massively larger number of potential dates that you can talk with, which is sometimes very limited if you live in a low Catholic density area.

 

[Khalid]

have you considered online dating? A number of people, myself included have had success with it.

I second this. I had success with online dating (success as such to lead to marriage), and I am a Muslim, and there are many, many less practising and observant Muslims in the United States than there are Catholics. In the U.S., Islam is just slightly more popular than witchcraft/Satan worship (Wiccanism, even though most Wiccanists would take exception to my opinion that Wiccanism is, or is of, or includes, the worship of Satan), which says something about…something, or many things.

There are tens of millions of Catholics in the US, and if you expand that to Orthodox and Protestants, hundreds of millions, even if you don’t count the fundamentalist Protestant “Catholicism is the religion of Satan and the Pope is the Antichrist” strains of bigoted belief.

Remember, success is through God alone. If it is the Will of God you will be successful.

 

[islandgirl3]

The Answer: YES. The real question you’r’e asking sounds more like," when will you find the one God intends for you?" And, fortunately, I have no answer.

I am in the opposite boat as you. I know there are many good catholic young men out there, but I am still on my own. I used to mind,because it boggled my mind a bit, now It’s only sometimes that I really truly feel lonely, but It took a while to get to that point. I realized I have torely on God, and embrace the beauty of this time of singleness in my life. And those times where I do mind, and I get lonely I try and bring it Back to Jesus.

This is one of my favorite quote, I hope you find it helps: “A woman’s heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man must be seeking the Lord to find it”

I have this feeling you are trying to do that, but just trust, God’s timing is perfect, so why would we hope for something different? So my hope for you is that you ask yourself what you are doing with your current vocational status of a single person, and not when you will meet your future spouse.

ALL the best!

 

[JoeofCupertino]

There is someone out there for everyone. I want to get married and wish I had a wife. However, God is in control of these things and he seems to want me to spend the early years of my career without the company of a wife and kids. God is right too! My job is in a very unstable industry that only gets slightly more stable with years in the industry. It takes a special woman to marry a man in my job. So I will wait until God wants me to meet that special woman haha!

God has a plan for everyone. He doesnt want us to know that plan because then we would become lazy and not try to love him and serve him as much. He gives us hints and tries to push us in the right direction but we are fallen creatures and dont always follow the best advice given to us.

Singledom can be hard but you also learn a lot about yourself and have a chance to grow in other ways.

I have an aunt that is in her mid 90s and never married. Men were never good enough for her but she seemed to have a happy life without men. A good and happy life is possible both for married, single and religious.

It would be nice though if there were more single events at church but then again young people at marriage age dont really participate that much in parish life so it is understandable why a church has more bingo nights than singles events. You have to cater to your audience.

 

[trinichiqn]

The Answer: YES. The real question you’r’e asking sounds more like," when will you find the one God intends for you?" And, fortunately, I have no answer.

I am in the opposite boat as you. I know there are many good catholic young men out there, but I am still on my own. I used to mind,because it boggled my mind a bit, now It’s only sometimes that I really truly feel lonely, but It took a while to get to that point. I realized I have torely on God, and embrace the beauty of this time of singleness in my life. And those times where I do mind, and I get lonely I try and bring it Back to Jesus.

This is one of my favorite quote, I hope you find it helps: "A woman’s heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man must be seeking the Lord to find it"

I have this feeling you are trying to do that, but just trust, God’s timing is perfect, so why would we hope for something different? So my hope for you is that you ask yourself what you are doing with your current vocational status of a single person, and not when you will meet your future spouse.

ALL the best!

This is my favourite quote too. Did you read Theology of His/Her Body?
I am also on the search for my own devout Catholic husband, I pray all the time that I will meet him and I ask God to prepare him and me for marriage, prepare us for the roles of husband and wife as well as mother and father.

 

[1ke]

Ok, I’ve been single for just under three years and not for lack of trying. I live ina very very liberal area of the country. I cannot find any women who are my age (late 20’s) who have conservative views.

Perhaps you should consider online options. This has brought many people who share common values and goals together who otherwise would not meet.

I’m very lonely.

Please consider some guidance from your priest. You can be very lonely **IN **a marriage. Marriage doesn’t fix things.

If you are looking for a woman to fill up something that is missing in you, she won’t be able to do that. I suggest you work on yourself and being content in your state in life. I think you need to do this before you are ready to be in a relationship. Marriage isn’t a 50/50 endeavor. It’s a 100/100 endeavor, and sometimes you are giving 110%. You have to have it inside you to give.

 

[AlexaD]

I’m a single Christian/Catholic woman in my mid twenties! Sometimes I wonder where all the good single Catholic men are! I just have to keep trusting in God’s timing for my life and being open to His plan.

 

[chevalier]

Well, Layperson, for inexplicable reasons, sometimes Very Fine Folks have Very Poor Luck with women. But be of good cheer, keep praying and believing, the most important relationship is with God anyway and that one must be strong so that all other relationships can function.

By the way, unhappy marriage is such a worse fate than unhappy singledom. I’m talking on Skype right now to a friend who thought it was all bliss. Until her prince charming turned out to be a can. 1098 case in much likelihood. How many women have you seen make the wrong choice? We men are also capable of it. It’s only that we generally face less physical aggression, so it may not show so clearly as with women. But we’re certainly capable of diving head-in with a gold-digger, runaway bride, psychotic feminazi or some other sweet type. Make really, really sure, you don’t go for just any woman.

 

[havana1]

Singles are treated like second-class citizens in most Catholic parishes - essentially tailoring homilies for families with kids with nary a mention for the single guys. Yes, there are single Catholic guys - but, thanks to how poorly they’re treated by many parishes, they’re non-practicing Catholics. And before someone asks, “Is that a good enough reason to deny yourself the sacraments?,” yes, as a matter of fact, if you take into account the loneliness and isolation and not wanting to be constantly excluded from your parish’s activity, it is a good enough reason. And before someone asks, “Well, why don’t you start your own singles group?,” I can’t start a singles group at a parish without their approval - and each time I have asked, I was turned down. So, it’s neither naive nor ‘whiny’ to point out that the odds really are stacked against single Catholics at the majority of parishes. **It’s like they don’t want me there unless I’ve got wife and kids in tow. **

I pray for God’s will in my life. However, I’m now in my mid-30’s and don’t hold out much hope of ever finding a Catholic wife.

 

[havana1]

How many women have you seen make the wrong choice? We men are also capable of it. It’s only that we generally face less physical aggression, so it may not show so clearly as with women. But we’re certainly capable of diving head-in with a gold-digger, runaway bride, psychotic feminazi or some other sweet type. Make really, really sure, you don’t go for just any woman.

All women like guys who make them laugh - that’s a universally accepted principle.

Catholic women have stricter criteria - criteria made all the more difficult by the pervasive “anti-singles” sentiment that makes practice of the faith in a parish all the more isolating and lonely - attributes even the most charitable of Catholic women would not find attractive.

 

[JoeofCupertino]

With all the resources available to find a Catholic wife or husband, it might take some self reflection as to why you are having bad luck. We like to say that “men” or “women” are just “stupid” and “immature” for not going for all these desperate and available singles. We like to say that they are the problem and not us singles. The reality is that us singles arent doing enough to make ourselves attractive to the opposite sex. Nothing the church does or doesnt do will change that. This isnt to say singles are bad people but it is to say that singles need to look inside themselves and adjust to the market. If it takes time, dont worry! Its better to wait than be married and unhappy. God will make His plans known in his own time.

 

[chevalier]

It is not that I don’t agree with what you say, Joe, but attractiveness isn’t always the answer. This is what I meant when I jestfully capitalised the fine folks having poor luck. Ultimately it comes to choices and the way human interactions work. You will find singles, and not by choice, even among the most attractive people you know.