Ok to get rid of brother's "adult" films?

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buckr02

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Hey all,

As I have talked about before on these forums, I have struggled with an addiction to porn/masturbation for the last eight years or so. Recently, I found a way to finally get rid of all the porn from my computer, the family computer, and any contained in magazines that I knew of. However, on a particularly bad night about a week or two ago, I was determined to find some illicit material because I was sure that one of my brothers would have some that I just hadn’t found before. Sure enough, I found four dvd’s in my brother’s room.

So my dilemma now is that I don’t think I could bring myself to tell my brother to get rid of them or what have you, so I was wondering if it would be ok to destroy / throw away the dvd’s myself, without telling him. But since they are his, I don’t know if this would be a good idea.
 
No, it’s not okay to destroy another person’s property.

How would you like it if he destroyed your property? Like maybe destroy your crucifixes on the basis of them violating God’s commandent “Thou shalt have no graven images of thy God”? Yes, I do know what the Church teaches on it, but he could still use that as a justification to destroy your property.

It is not okay for you to go into your brother’s room. It is NOT OKAY PERIOD.

If it is okay for you to destroy his things it is okay for him to destroy your things. Think about that.
 
I think that it is okay. My Mom destroyed some magazines and records of my brothers. I had found the magazines at one time, but, anyway, things like this should not be in a Christian home. They are disrespectful to women, and, bad for one’s sisters. Go ahead and get rid of them! Who cares! Take the flack too, for that matter, but there will likely be none.
 
The real issue here is whether or not you are willing to understand your problem with pornography addiction. If you were looking to find anything to supply your addiction then you will seek other areas if your brother’s magazines or films are disposed. Yes, your brother should not possess such material but the problem remains as to whether or not you can resist this temptation in the future. Your brother’s magazines or films are his problem and you could discuss this type of behavior with him in general but you should not undermine your own behavior and with constant prayer and the sacraments rid yourself of this addiction.

Throwing away his materials will NOT throw away either one of your addictions ar attitudes towards pornography. There is always more where that came from. I hope this helps…God Bless…teachccd
 
i find myself more concerned with your brothers problem then with yours,
but try this before you take action, pray to God to get rid of the dvds when and how He knows is best(whether by using you or something else), and also pray that your brother converts from his impure lifestyle,
and pray for the graces to overcome your own temptations to impurity.

just be patient with yourself, with your bother, and with God, whatever happens will happen at the right time, God knows what He’s doing.
 
Although it would be good for your brother’s soul, destroying his DVD’s is not the solution to your problem.

The solution to your problem is prayer and penance. You need to fight the temptations, and overcome your addiction. You need to immerse yourself in prayer, and in the Scriptures.

Pray the Rosary! You will receive many graces by doing so. This prayer is a weapon! It will help you smash this sin.

Confess your sins regularly. I recommend you do this once every two weeks. This will be a source of tremendous grace, and the embarrassment of admitting your lustfulness will provide you with more motivation.

Pray for purity. Ask the Blessed Mother for help to be chaste and holy. She will help!

Do not steal your brother’s possessions. That is not the answer. However, I suggest that you talk to your brother about this and encourage him to get rid of his pornography. It is not good for his soul and you should make him aware of this. Remember, you have a duty to gently and kindly admonish the sinner.
 
buckr02 said:
Hey all,

As I have talked about before on these forums, I have struggled with an addiction to porn/masturbation for the last eight years or so. Recently, I found a way to finally get rid of all the porn from my computer, the family computer, and any contained in magazines that I knew of. However, on a particularly bad night about a week or two ago, I was determined to find some illicit material because I was sure that one of my brothers would have some that I just hadn’t found before. Sure enough, I found four dvd’s in my brother’s room.

So my dilemma now is that I don’t think I could bring myself to tell my brother to get rid of them or what have you, so I was wondering if it would be ok to destroy / throw away the dvd’s myself, without telling him. But since they are his, I don’t know if this would be a good idea.
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Don’t destroy his property. The spirit of *John Locke *will be very upset with you if you do. Also, don’t condemn yourself too much for giving in to the demands of your instinctual sex drive. You’ll never be able to fully conquer it. All creatures have a sex drive. It’s normal. Just don’t let it get the best of you. Keep it within reasonable bounds, ask for forgiveness, and get on with life. The fight for humanity in Christ’s name is a bigger issue to worry about.
 
buckr02 said:
Hey all,

As I have talked about before on these forums, I have struggled with an addiction to porn/masturbation for the last eight years or so. Recently, I found a way to finally get rid of all the porn from my computer, the family computer, and any contained in magazines that I knew of. However, on a particularly bad night about a week or two ago, I was determined to find some illicit material because I was sure that one of my brothers would have some that I just hadn’t found before. Sure enough, I found four dvd’s in my brother’s room.

So my dilemma now is that I don’t think I could bring myself to tell my brother to get rid of them or what have you, so I was wondering if it would be ok to destroy / throw away the dvd’s myself, without telling him. But since they are his, I don’t know if this would be a good idea.
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No, you do not have a right to throw out somebody else’s property.

I would talk to your parents about it.

In the meantime, may I suggest a wonderful sermon by Todd Friel called “Slaying the Dragon”? While I, personally, do not struggle with this particular sin, I know several who do and they’ve all told me that they’ve found this sermon to be very helpful.
 
KingAlfred said:
Don’t destroy his property. The spirit of *John Locke *will be very upset with you if you do. Also, don’t condemn yourself too much for giving in to the demands of your instinctual sex drive. You’ll never be able to fully conquer it. All creatures have a sex drive. It’s normal. Just don’t let it get the best of you. Keep it within reasonable bounds, ask for forgiveness, and get on with life. The fight for humanity in Christ’s name is a bigger issue to worry about.
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How does one keep sin within “reasonable bounds”?
 
buckr02 said:
I was wondering if it would be ok to destroy / throw away the dvd’s myself, without telling him.
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No, this would be wrong.

According to Catholicism, for an act to be moral, both the ends and the means must be moral. In this case, the ends are moral, but the means are not. Therefore, the act of throwing away your brother’s property would be immoral.
 
Destroying anothers property is not right. I would talk to him. Then you would have to explain why YOU were snooping in the first place.

Kathy
 
Just_Lurking said:
No, this would be wrong.

According to Catholicism, for an act to be moral, both the ends and the means must be moral. In this case, the ends are moral, but the means are not. Therefore, the act of throwing away your brother’s property would be immoral.
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Good answer.
 
From a completely relativistic point of view, it would depend on what outcome you want.

Do you want to have a relationship with your brother that is open and honest, if not always smooth?

Then talk to him about it.

Do you want him to get the impression that you are sneaky and underhanded, and a thief who doesn’t respect his property or wishes?

Then toss them without telling him.

If you are afraid to face the consequences of talking about it, throwing them away will only delay the problem. He will know someone threw them away. He might not ask who threw them away, but he will probably ask who went through his stuff. What would you do then, lie about it?
 
buckr02 said:
Hey all,

As I have talked about before on these forums, I have struggled with an addiction to porn/masturbation for the last eight years or so. Recently, I found a way to finally get rid of all the porn from my computer, the family computer, and any contained in magazines that I knew of. However, on a particularly bad night about a week or two ago, I was determined to find some illicit material because I was sure that one of my brothers would have some that I just hadn’t found before. Sure enough, I found four dvd’s in my brother’s room.

So my dilemma now is that I don’t think I could bring myself to tell my brother to get rid of them or what have you, so I was wondering if it would be ok to destroy / throw away the dvd’s myself, without telling him. But since they are his, I don’t know if this would be a good idea.
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Where are your parents in all of this??
 
I believe that everyone here is wrong. I may not be able to explain myself using quotes from the Church, but, pornography is not a part of a good society. Pornography is detrimental to good relationships within a good society. How pictures of another person’s body, become the property of another person through purchase is suspect. I am not even sure if a recompense is proper, but, take your brother out to dinner and discuss and watch how women are treated in a good society if you wish. It may be impossible for us to tell our siblings not to do something, but then another person may be able to get somewhere with them. You could take the offensive material to someone who could speak to your brother.
 
Why, not only not OK, but altogether wrong. Coz after a fit of just wrath he will plunge into it anew and strengthened in ill will. To him, you will be a negation of porn and he will feel you are wrong. If the negation of porn is wrong, porn is right. He will feel extremely justified when he gets some porn next day.
 
Let’s try it this way: Say the parents get in on this. I think you can see very clearly that the don’t-destroy-another’s-property fizzles rather quickly.
 
Scottgun said:
Let’s try it this way: Say the parents get in on this. I think you can see very clearly that the don’t-destroy-another’s-property fizzles rather quickly.
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Because parents have authority at least over their minor children (what authority parents have over adult children is a subject we could discuss–clearly they have some but I think most of us would say that parents should not destroy the property of adult children).

The OP does not have the kind of authority over his brother that his parents have over both of them (and that’s true whether they are minors or not–if his parents were dead and he were the guardian of his minor brother it would be a different story).

However, even in the case of parents it would not be right for the parents to go into the room behind the child’s back and destroy his property. Rather, the parents should talk to their son and tell him why they are going to destroy the material. This is all the more true here. The OP wants to avoid embarrassment, and he also seems to be scapegoating his brother to some extent.

It’s not as if the brother tempted him. He deliberately went into his brother’s room looking for porn.

Edwin
 
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