Yes I know full well. My first boyfriend, before my H was an A. He just transferrred all his addictions to other things, and as I saw it he was, still just as screwed up. His addictions just were transferred, as you say to other things.
I didn’t and still don’t really quite understand it, even as I type this. He was just too obsessive/compulsive with me, and totally and completely possessive, almost to the point of being scary, which lead, ultimately to our break up. Although I have thought of him with such fondness my whole married life. 
I asked him to come to church, tried to “witness”, etc., like I have with one of my relatives in the same boat, they want no part of it. Still, I can’t help wondering even now, 17 years later and a married woman, if I gave up the real love of my life, because he was an alcoholic. This has been most hard for me. He had so many wonderful traits, a go-getter, a professional man, passionate beyond belief, he adored and appreciated me, and I respected him so much, (besides this of course). I can say, he was so much more of a man than my current H. I wonder if I made a mistake. He is a very successful attorney now, never married so I have heard, also that “I was the only one for him”. This does break my heart. But I have heard he just has transferred his addictions to other things. And I guess I knew this would be an endless cycle of misery for me. I have had dreams about him, and he has tried to contact me, and I have never written him back, except for once about a year ago.
Yes I know full well. My first boyfriend, before my H was an A.
There is a clue here.
Although I have thought of him with such fondness my whole married life.
Gosh–the choices we make in life are hard ones indeed.
So, have you given any thought to attending a 12 step group?
Have you read any of Melody Beattie’s books?
Sparkle
By way of short cut (because every alcoholic is full of alibi’s and rationalions and “insight” into why they drink), the person with the drinking problems/problems associated with drinking, FIRST needs to get and keep the alcohol out, commit to abstinence, do whatever is required/prescribed to stay sober, only THEN can they determine more objectively/clearly the “why’s” of their drinking. I would suggest a minimum three months to one year depending upon the extent of addiction/abuse before delving into the underlying causes/issues for drinking that have not been addressed by simply establishing/maintaining abstinence.
HEY! Another Friend of Bill’s? I also do not receive the Blood of Christ in the liquid form, but we do receive the Body, Blood Soul and Divinity in the Bread of Life so we are ok…I think we are doing the right thing and MommaKat, I am so glad you brought this up.
But I have heard he has stayed “on the wagon” at least with the alcohol, but now is totally and completely obsessed with some other hobbies, hence this OCD, common to alcoholics. Some mutual friends who work with him have said he still talks about me, and has said he’ll never marry if he couldn’t have me, the supposed “only love of his life”. I think this is weird. But he is also an usher at his Catholic Church so I hear. I always knew he was a Catholic, although when I knew him I wasn’t a Catholic yet. Anyway—I suppose this maybe instigated my OP, as well as one of my cousins, who has rejected the Church and hasn’t gone to Mass for over a year since her recovery. She also suffers greatly from OCD. Can’t our Lord help them overcome these things? I wonder? Oh one more thing----I also wonder----do you have to forego the “blood of Christ in the Mass” if you’re a recovering alcoholic? I see many passing by the cup at Mass, and it makes me wonder. I guess I don’t quite understand this fully.
geezerbob:
I know, those darn defects of character can take a while to replace. :yup:
My soberity date is 5-30-90.
Uh Huh. And what exactly does this mean?
I kinda knew you knew that, just like I kinda knew you knew I knew you knew I knew…oh you know…lololol…thank you so much, Mommakat…it sounds silly to everyone that is not ‘one of us’ but it is always nice to find another Friend of Bill’s on the board.
Absolutely, Chovy. I have been sober for 13 years and I have chosen not to take from the cup. It is not worth taking the chance of triggering the allergy.
Well that’s it then, you are my new best friend.
Well this is just my point/question here. Can’t our Lord, in all His goodness, be able to help everyone overcome their problems then? For HE surely give us all everything/and more that we need.
Absolutely - but I still attend three meetings a week, have a sponsor, sponsor other women and have service committments. I have not left my 12 step program. Eucharistic Adoration has ADDED to my sobriety. And, no matter what, I am still an Alcholic.Well this is just my point/question here. Can’t our Lord, in all His goodness, be able to help everyone overcome their problems then? For HE surely give us all everything/and more that we need.
Sparkle~
The only thing I would add is that some problems can be helped better by other who have made their way out of the problem before us. The personality is the part that we must take to Christ that we don’t fall back into the error. Addictions are a disorder in our personality. As fallen human we all have our disorders which we must take to Christ. Peter had his disorders, Paul had his and so did Pope John Paul II and so do all the others saints. It is only the Lords grace that saves and even saves from disorders.Well this is just my point/question here. Can’t our Lord, in all His goodness, be able to help everyone overcome their problems then? For HE surely give us all everything/and more that we need.
Sparkle~